


I Carry Your Heart

by FanaticeIllabantur



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, Abuse, Alternate Universe - Olympics, Child Abuse, Gen, Gymnastics, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Men's Artistic Gymnastics, Olympics, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Smut, Swimmer!Erwin, eruri - Freeform, gymnast!Levi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-04-07 07:53:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 99,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19080715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanaticeIllabantur/pseuds/FanaticeIllabantur
Summary: Levi Ackerman is an elite gymnast on his way to his second Olympic Games, and, this time, he wants Gold. However, with the distraction of his tragic past and an Olympic swimmer, Levi wonders how distracted he’ll get from his goals.





	1. I Carry It

**Author's Note:**

> So, men and women compete in the same events. I’ve also changed the apparatus done during the gymnastics events, so I just thought I’d let you know. It is based on the old gymnastics system and not the new one where they allow six gymnasts to compete.
> 
> I have never done as much research for a fic as I have done for this. My mind is overflowing with gymnastic terms that I will likely never use again.
> 
> I hope you enjoy x

> “i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
> 
> my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
> 
> i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
> 
> by only me is your doing, my darling)
> 
>                                                       i fear
> 
> no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
> 
> no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
> 
> and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
> 
> and whatever a sun will always sing is you
> 
>  
> 
> here is the deepest secret nobody knows
> 
> (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
> 
> and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
> 
> higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
> 
> and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
> 
>  
> 
> i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)”  
>  **― E.E. Cummings**
> 
>  

When Levi had first stepped onto or, rather, been placed onto the balance beam at the age of four, he had fallen in love with it. There was something about it that had just clicked, even at that young age. The way he could be free and perform up there was not something he had ever experienced in his life before, and he had mastered the art as if he had been born to perform gymnastics. It had come naturally to him, and he cared for nothing like he cared for gymnastics.

For the first couple of years, his mother had taken him to his sessions but, after her death, the duty had been passed onto Kenny. He was moved from Souterrain to Stohess, where his uncle lived, but a lot more changed than just that. Upon noticing his ability for gymnastics and seeing nothing but glory and fame in his eyes, he set up a vigorous training programme that had him at the gymnasium for six days of the week. For a six-year-old, it was a little intense, but Kenny didn’t seem to care at the time. He hadn’t cared later either.

Despite always having been small, he never let that get to him. Even when Kenny had brought out the belt and cursed at him for not being taller, as if that might be something Levi could control, Levi had not let his height affect him. He pushed himself harder to counter any issues his height might have brought, the other gymnasts he trained with were all taller than him, even those who were years younger. Oluo had been a bit of an ass about it when they were growing up but, in the end, he wasn’t exactly all that much taller. Levi had ignored him, as he ignored most everyone, and performed, perfecting everything he could.

The first competition he had entered, he had come second. It had only been a small thing for a few cities, but it still showed his promise. For each competition that followed, he always placed on the podium.

Of course, when he got Bronze, Kenny had decided that was not good enough and brought out the belt, telling him he needed to do better. Part of Levi wanted to be proud of whatever he got. Whenever he looked around at the families of those who had placed lower than Levi, they still congratulated their children, no matter what they got. Levi wondered why Kenny was always mad at him.

It was odd for an eight-year-old to be disheartened by getting a Silver trophy at a national competition, the judges as they gave it to him telling him he should smile, be pleased because he had done well. But Levi knew, no matter what, Kenny would never be satisfied and yet he never knew what he could do to make him satisfied.

And Kenny never beat the others like he was beaten. He had set up a gymnastics company a few years after he had taken Levi into his custody, but his focus was always Levi. He was a coach, but mainly to Levi. He had hired other coaches on the winnings of Levi’s competitions, Levi never seeing any of that money, and, whilst they might have been drilled under the harsh regime Kenny set up because he wanted the elite, Levi always got it harsher.

At first, Levi had thought it was just because Kenny wanted him to be the best of the best, because he wanted to see him succeed, so he had tried harder, aimed higher. But when he was beaten after he got his first Gold at the Junior District Championships because he had still stumbled, that had stilled those thoughts. His confusion at this, thinking he might have finally pleased his uncle, led him to ask questions, and this had resulted in his first scar. Levi had near screamed at his tender age, the skin splitting across his back, but Kenny had slapped him across the cheek and Levi learned to keep his mouth shut.

What had followed this was Levi, at ten years old, wearing a sleeveless singlet that revealed his back, revealed his scar. As Levi trained in singlets that covered his back, when he got to wearing his competition one right before the competition, it was only then they realised that it was going to be a problem. Levi was about to perform for the Junior World Cup, and he could not do that with a scar peaking up from his clothing.

This had resulted in much panic, Levi’s young mind watching as Kenny ran around their changing block to figure out some way to sort it out. Levi had thought he was mad again, so he had just sat back and watched, not wanting to talk in case it brought out the belt again.

The only solution Kenny could find was to give him his jacket, but Levi had looked at him with a low brow, eyes near watering because he didn’t want to make Kenny mad.

“What?” Kenny asked, his voice always fierce. “Put it on.”

“But I’ll get presentation deductions,” Levi pointed out, voice quiet, almost mute.

“What other solution do you have?” Kenny asked.

Levi had none, so he slipped his arms into the jacket and zipped it up, leaving the changing room and hearing Kenny curse him out, calling him a ‘little brat’ as he shut the door behind them.

It had led to many deduction points. The judges had even stopped him before he stepped up onto the pommel horse to tell him to remove the jacket, but Levi could only shake his head. He had glanced at Kenny once, looking for reassurance, but Kenny had been watching the scoreboard because it showed, in better detail, the mistakes Levi would likely make, particularly with his nerves shot and his young mind focusing already on the presentation deductions he would receive.

Despite the fact the scar was Kenny’s fault and despite the fact the jacket was also Kenny’s fault which, in turn, led to Levi making mistakes in his routines and getting him only the Bronze position, it led to his second scar that night because Kenny still blamed him. In reality, it was a miracle he managed even that, but it did not please Kenny.

From then onwards, Levi had worn singlets that had sleeves. The gymnasts he practised with, Oluo, Gunther, and Eld had asked him why, but ten-year-old Levi had not known how to respond. He had shrugged and ignored them. The years and years of abuse and not knowing how to form connections meant that any sort of emotional growth he might have had was zero, and he never connected with them, even if he should have.

Sometimes, due to Kenny’s teaching and because he loved gymnastics more than anything else, his grades slipped. Often. It didn’t impact his gymnastics record but he didn’t graduate any level of school with the kind of grades he should have. He could test well and he would have studied harder if Kenny had not implanted this idea that spare time was not spare and that any time he wasn’t at school, he should have been in the gymnasium or practising his flexibility. If school hadn’t been a legal requirement, Kenny probably would have demanded that he skip out on that as well.

The trophies and medals meant more to him than getting an A on any test, but it didn’t look good on his Wikipedia page. Levi didn’t look at it often, but it stated it, loud and clear, how badly he had done at school. Whilst it was fact, Levi would have preferred that only his triumphs in gymnastics were shown, rather than his failings.

At fifteen, after almost a decade of abuse and drilling, Levi decided, one night, that he was done with Kenny’s coaching. If he thought back to it, he wasn’t entirely sure how he had managed the courage to come up with that decision. So much of his life was dictated by Kenny, he felt owned by him, like his life was dedicated to him and everything he won was his as well.

It wasn’t the truth, but Kenny got so deep inside his head, it was difficult trying to wade through his reality to find the truth.

He decided he was going to break away from Kenny no matter what. At fifteen, he could finally enter the Senior District Cup, and he thought that was a great opportunity to debut there and be done with Kenny.

What he did, without Kenny’s knowing, was purchase a singlet that was sleeveless, meaning his scars, of which he had accumulated dozens, were on show for everyone to see. The motivation behind this decision was still blurry to Levi, it had something to do with the fact he could compete in the senior competitions, but the deeper confidence, he still didn’t know where that had come from.

Over all the years, Levi didn’t often feel nervous before competitions. He wasn’t sure where that confidence came from, it was probably something to do with his state of mind, with the fact that he saw the day as just being the day, that what happened, happened. He had come to terms with the idea that Kenny would beat him no matter what, and so nerves weren’t a factor of his routine when he was getting ready to perform at a competition.

But, as he got ready to unzip his jacket and reveal his sleeveless singlet, he felt those nerves. It wasn’t from the competing, he supposed, but from what he had been about to do.

It revealed his scars not only to his teammates, but to the world. There was an odd sort of silence that filled the room, even the commentators going quiet as the cameras and phones settled onto Levi’s back that was riddled with scars. Levi watched on, waiting for them to announce him so he could perform, but there had been only silence.

He had spared a glance to Kenny, who fumed at him quietly, but that was all he wanted to give Kenny. He had taken away his youth, he wasn’t going to let him take anything else.

Some judge had come over to him and asked him what was going on, but Levi had said nothing was going on and that he was here to compete. It was his first time at a senior competition, he wanted to compete.

There had been deliberations for about twenty minutes, Levi waiting, almost bored, and then he had been allowed to approach his apparatus.

It had instilled within him another level of confidence and he had performed better than he ever had before. He knew a lot of eyes would actually be on his scars that trailed up his back and some down his shoulders, but he didn’t care. He performed better than he could have hoped for and got Gold at his first senior competition.

What followed irked Levi, really, for there were weeks of legal cases that took him away from practising. All he wanted was to compete. He wanted to get to the Olympics in Trost two years later, and he needed every second he could get to make that an achievable goal. Being forced to answer questions about his uncle’s methods of discipline did not allow for him to practise at every available second.

Despite no other child having been beaten under Kenny’s care, it was obvious who had been doing it. Kenny had been sentenced to eight years in prison, though Levi doubted he would serve all of it.

Levi was moved in with a foster family for a year until he could live by himself at the age of sixteen. He practised night and day there, coming to know the gymnasts but never making too much of a connection with them. He failed to make connections with most people.

When he was sixteen, he moved out with his sponsorship money, Eld accompanying him in the move to Souterrain. It had been difficult, at first, to pick up a language he had been fluent in for the first part of his life, but his dedication to relearning it meant his fluency improved quickly. The two of them trained there, in Souterrain, needing as much time as possible to qualify for the Trosten Olympics. Levi wanted to be amongst the elite, prove himself as a worthy athlete, and the Olympics was how he did that.

Even as a child, he had watched the Olympics and dreamed of getting there. The Olympians were inspiring, and he had been glad Kenny let him watch it, watch the gymnastics, though Kenny did it more to tell him he would never be that good unless he practised more. Levi had barely heard him, just watched them as they flipped and somersaulted, moving like gravity did not affect them, and he so wanted to be like them.

Qualifications for the Trosten Olympics were a very different thing to normal competing, but that might have just been the pressure Levi put on himself. There was also the factor of relying on a team, and Levi had always been brought up to believe it was himself and no one else. Even when he had competed in teams before, Kenny had told him it was him leading it, Levi being the one that could make them win. It was odd having to change that mentality for the Olympics.

His reputation in the gymnastics’ circle did make it easier. He never bragged, but it was easier going into it with people knowing his name. He was so desperate to compete in the Olympics, he wanted to show children that he had overcome the shit that had happened with Kenny, and he wanted to be as inspiring as the gymnastics before him had been. Representing Souterrain was another important aspect, but he wanted to be a role model.

The Olympics had gone well; he got a Bronze in the All-Around, a Bronze in the Team Finals, a Silver for the balance beam, and Bronze for the rings, the high bar, and the parallel bar. He had wanted to do better and he knew, if Kenny was still training him, the beatings would have been harsh, but he supposed they were still Olympic medals, and he had shown his face at the biggest sporting event in the world. It did make him want to come back with a vengeance, do even better at the next Games in Mitras. He wanted Gold.

Even though he had done it before, it still made him nervous when it was time to qualify four years later. He was the best gymnast on his team, as he would be if he was on most teams. He would never admit it publicly, but he was the best, and that was mainly because he had entered more tournaments and more competitions, and he had the most wins. In fact, Levi had never entered anything and not placed in at least something.

What this fame brought him was the pleasant nickname, Little Levi. He loathed it. There wasn’t anything he could do to change it because it came from the public and the media spreading it around. He hoped, as his reputation grew, that it might change.

It hadn’t changed.

Out of the team he had become a part of when he moved to Souterrain, Isabel, Farlan, Petra, and Eld qualified. Their coach, Keith, had retired a year ago, but he had mostly left Levi to himself anyway, only consulting Levi on routine aspects, and Levi had stepped up as coach for the team. Some had thought it odd, and a lot had wondered if it would be too much, but Levi liked having that on him, he liked making his own decisions and letting only himself be to blame. It was easier that way for him, it made sense to him, and he wouldn’t change it or hire anyone else.

The team, that was now _his_ team, were good, and Levi thought they were in with a chance of winning Gold at the Team Finals. After each country had finished qualifications, they were predicted a Silver for the Team Finals, and Levi had been predicted Gold for the All-Around, as well as medals of varying degree in each Event Final, even the vault, which had always been his weakest apparatus.

Although glad for the predicted placements, Levi had noted an issue with the dates on which things would fall. As it was over the summer, Levi noted that the date of his mother’s death might fall on one of the Finals. This was concerning because, not only did Levi’s grief hit him hard on that day, but Kenny’s harsher beatings brought back trauma and triggers that he had never been able to deal with. The Trosten dates had been fine, but the Mitras Games were happening earlier in the summer and Levi didn’t want his memories to ruin his chance for a Gold.

The plane journey to Mitras was long and Levi’s insomnia did not help him as he tried to force himself into the different time zones. Thankfully, as he had travelled around so much when he was competing, his Common was fluent, so he would have no issue talking to anyone over there, as he never had any issue. He didn’t know much Mitran, so his Common would have to do.

The second they landed, Isabel was taking pictures and selfies, uploading them to various social media platforms. Levi hated her for it, but he supposed he did need her for the Team Finals, so it wouldn’t do to throttle her before the Games began. When she did take a picture of him, his sunglasses on to hide his fatigue, he did put the middle finger up to her, hoping it would deter her, but it did not and she merely smiled as she uploaded it to Instagram. She always had too much energy, even when she should be dealing with jetlag.

It was late when they got out of the airport and into the car that would take them to the Olympic Village. Levi was too busy trying to force Isabel to delete a picture of him she had taken on the plane when he had gotten his only ten minutes of sleep to take Mitras in. He had never been here before, so he supposed he would take in the sights tomorrow.

He had never done anything touristy in his life and he didn’t think he was about to start, but he would like to see the stadiums and everything. It was the only part of the country he was interested in, but he would have to take that in tomorrow.

When they got to the Olympic village, Levi could tell this country was rich from that alone. Trost had spent a lot of money on its Village and its Games, but it was not as rich as Mitras; the eight hotels that stretched far into the sky were made of glass and perfectly white brick. There were flowerbeds everywhere, paths decorated with the colourings of the Mitras Games, which were red, purple, and yellow. There were fast-food places built directly onto the campus and a building, smaller than the hotels, that was labelled, ‘Athletes’ Spa’. The eight hotels were grouped into two groups of four, each facing into a large park, decorated with the flags of the dozens of countries competing and with statues of the three mascots of the Games situated in the middle, posed differently in the different parks. It was more luxurious than the ones in Trost, but Levi didn’t think he was going to take any more advantage of it than he had before.

Although Levi and Farlan said they would be roommates, Farlan didn’t care to stay in the hotels themselves. Although Levi didn’t know the details of Farlan’s upbringing, he said he could never sleep with too much noise and, although hotels usually kept noise levels blocked, Farlan always booked a hotel just a short way off and slept there. Levi wasn’t complaining because it meant he got the room to himself.

Once they got inside their hotels, Petra and Isabel going to another hotel and Eld going to yet another, Levi took the elevator up. One of the best things about being a renowned sportsman meant he got a high floor in the Village. He was on floor twelve of fourteen, and that was a perk.

Inside his room, which was much more luxurious than Trost’s, he went straight to the window. He got a lovely view not only of the Village but of the stadiums as well. The city itself was quite built up, and Levi could see so much of it, which was an enchanting view.

The room, which was bare as they always were, contained two beds, though they were doubles where last year they had only been singles, an ensuite, which had not happened at all at Trost, and two small wardrobes. There was also a table that had two chairs and a kettle with two cups, and a television attached to the wall. There were two bedside tables with two lamps, and everything was in the coordinating colours of the Games, again, red, yellow, and purple. It wasn’t too garish, which Levi was glad for. He found garish surroundings really irked his insomnia.

He unpacked, though all he really had was his training gear and his competing gear and some casual clothes and a single picture of his mother that he had found at Kenny’s house and stolen when he was nine. He stuck that to the wall and decided sleep would probably do him some good.

The next morning, after sleeping relatively well given he was in a new place, he got up early and dressed in jeans and a thin hoodie. He wanted to explore the place but he did not want to be ambushed by fans. The Village was the safest place for that, not that Levi had ever been tackled by fans. Most of his fans were respectful, but the only place to not be photographed was in the Village. It was just unfortunate the arenas and stadiums were not a part of the Village.

Because it was so early, there weren’t many other people about. The Games didn’t start for a couple of days, so it was still quiet, which Levi was thankful for. It meant he could explore in relative peace.

The stadiums themselves were designed in the colours of the Games, and Levi was never used to the size of them. They had to fit a lot of people in, but they still seemed so enormous from the outside. It was a nice lot though, it was obviously maintained well, but that came, again, from the wealth of this place, the wealth of the country.

He wasn’t allowed in the gymnastics building yet, it wasn’t open for practise. Although every piece of equipment was standard and Levi knew nothing precarious was going to happen, he would like to see the equipment soon.

After the Opening Ceremony tomorrow, Levi would be able to practise on it. He was expecting quite the show for the Ceremony because of Mitras’ wealth. For the Trosten Opening Ceremony, Levi had been a part of the procession but he had been too eager to start competing to take much note of it. He would take more note of it today, but there was still that eagerness to compete residing within him.

When the clock tower that Mitras had built as well, designed with the mascots and in the pleasing colours of these Games, chimed noon, Levi retreated back to the Village. More athletes were steadily moving in, so Levi made a beeline for the communal eating hall in Isabel and Petra’s building where they were all meeting to eat.

It was one of the perks about being part of team. A lot of athletes that did solo sports had to mix with others, had to sit with strangers a lot of the times. Whilst that was probably fine for a lot of people, it wasn’t so great for Levi who did not socialise well.

Isabel looked like she had just woken up, and this was typical for her. Eld and Farlan walked in together, Farlan looking like he had also just woken up.

“The gymnastics building isn’t open yet,” Levi informed them as they sat down with their meals.

“You’ve already gone to have a look?” Farlan asked through a yawn. “Take a break.”

“We’re at the Olympics,” Levi said, staring at him. “This is the last place we take a break.”

“Nothing’s even started yet,” Farlan said, picking up his cutlery.

Levi did not bother arguing with him because he had long discovered that arguing with Farlan resulted in nothing. Instead, they spoke about other things and ate their lunch.

As Isabel wanted to explore Mitras, they went for a walk around the main city, not venturing any further because security was only being posted around the lot where the Games would be occurring. Although Levi doubted they would be ambushed by fans because that didn’t often happen, Levi thought it best that they keep to these areas.

Isabel and Farlan took way too many pictures, but it did help with the sponsorship deals and with keeping the people who supported them up to date. Levi only had an Instagram and Twitter because Isabel had set one up for him. He rarely updated it himself, he felt he would likely be one of those accounts that made sarcastic comments and told people on the internet they were stupid, so he decided to keep off of it. Whilst people knew his brand was this sarcastic, pessimistic, bored persona, he didn’t want people to think he was rude, though he often felt he was.

Isabel always said she would happily take aesthetic pictures of him in front of aesthetic sceneries, but Levi had never taken her up on the offer, and he never would. Instead, she would take pictures when he wasn’t looking and upload them to her own account, saying she provided the fanservice that Levi never would.

They had had many arguments where Levi told her to take them down, but she never did, and Levi didn’t think it worth the effort. He tried to not read the comments underneath those posts, but a lot of them were lustful, and that was an odd thing for Levi to deal with. The fact he was considered a ‘hottie’, as so many of his fans and articles called him, was not something he knew how to comprehend. He had never and would never consider himself something like that, and he struggled with anyone who said he was.

“Let’s take a group selfie!” Isabel exclaimed as they stood in front of yet another cluster of statues of the mascots for these Games. Mitras had really gone all out, but he supposed branding was important.

Levi could never smile for photos, and that had become a part of his branding. It just wasn’t something that ever came naturally to him, and there was plenty a meme out there regarding Levi’s expressionless and bored tone that Farlan loved to send him. Some of them were actually funny, but Levi found it difficult laughing at anything.

He submitted to the idea of taking a group selfie and stood in the middle as Farlan took the picture with his long limbs. These were the kind of photographs he would post on his Instagram. He had never taken a selfie, it just wasn’t in his nature.

Isabel quite exhausted herself with her constant photographing and Levi was glad when they could retreat back to the communal halls to eat dinner. It was getting progressively busier and Levi had never been good with crowds. Being around something familiar was helpful, however, so having his team was beneficial.

He slept better that night than he had the previous night and woke only a couple of hours before dawn. He spent the time before it was reasonable to actually get out of bed and shower, scrolling through news channels and watching them get hyped about the Games.

They used the spa before the Opening Ceremony began, though it seemed a lot of the other athletes had the same plan. As Levi couldn’t swim, he settled for the sauna and let his skin sweat. Farlan and Petra went swimming, and Isabel and Eld went for massages and face masks, and Levi didn’t mind sitting alone in the sauna and forcing himself to relax. He had never been great at it, so being in an environment where it was too hot to think forced his body into a state of serenity.

At five o’clock, they had to change into their outfits for the Opening Ceremony, designed by Nifa who was renowned in Souterrain. They were quite simple and elegant, which Levi preferred to garish colours. The colours of their flag, which were blue and white, were delicately designed into their outfits. It was a simple white trouser that had a light blue strip up the side, and then a white jacket with light blue swirls covering it. It was elegant and discreet which Levi much preferred. The Trosten outfits had been splodges of white and blue on a black material, and Levi did not think they had looked wonderful.

At six, they went down to find their place in the procession. The athlete holding the flag this year was someone from archery, and they all had to file in behind them. Whilst Levi didn’t care so much for the rigidity of the Opening Ceremony, the Closing Ceremony was odd with everyone mixing between countries and sports. It was supposed to symbolise unity, but Levi thought it looked quite like a mess which was why he hadn’t participated in the Trosten one.

From where Levi and the others were stood in the stadium, they heard the crowds as they gathered in the stands. Levi had never had performance anxiety, he had been performing for almost two decades and so the crowds here, whilst enormous, would not intimidate him.

Dead on seven o’clock, the fireworks began. They only had a couple of small screens to watch from where they were, so Levi didn’t bother craning to catch a glance. If he really wanted to see it and hear the overly loud music and all the confetti that flew through the air, he could watch it tomorrow on catchup. But he didn’t care in the first place, so he likely wouldn’t.

When it was time for the athletes to walk out, Levi waited for Souterrain’s turn, which often came near the end given their name and where it came in the language of the country they were in. Levi was situated beside Isabel and Farlan, so it was ideal to have their comforting presence near him.

There was lots of waving and cheers and screams that Levi got hit with, though it was impossible to tell who they were truly meant for. A lot of the athletes here were better with the fan culture and they lived for the praise, Levi watching a couple of them as they waved back and smiled brightly for the cameras that were focused on them. Levi did not do this, just looking around and wondering when he could get back to his bed.

As they walked around the stadium, Levi saw a few banners and shirts that had ‘Little Levi’ written on, and Farlan and Isabel snorted at the sight of them. Levi tried to remember they were fans and that they were how he got sponsorship deals and how he could keep competing in the public eye, but it was often a lot to deal with.

It went on for a long while and Levi could not even fathom going to the parties afterwards. His team might be going out to celebrate, drink and socialise before the Games began, but Levi preferred his bed.

As he could finally practise tomorrow, Levi wanted to get up early and get there. As the Team Finals day did, unfortunately, fall on the day of his mother’s death date, he was going have to practise even harder than he had before so he could push through and not let himself or his team down.

There was the fact that, if he did mess up the Team Finals, he could still go on to the Individuals and the Event Finals and place on the podium, but he didn’t want to let his team down.

It was another reason why being part of a team was so difficult. It had its perks, but it did mean relying on those around you to do as well as you. Levi’s team wasn’t as strong as him because he was one of the strongest gymnasts in the world, but they were good enough that they could keep up with him. If Levi was the reason they failed, the reason they didn’t place to get Gold, he wasn’t sure he would ever be able to live with himself.

When he returned to the Village, which was somewhat deserted as people hadn’t returned to celebrate here yet, Levi made his way through the hotel to the elevator. The place where you could collect condoms was still open, but Levi was not here to be distracted like that.

Sure, this place was full of attractive people in their peak physical condition, but Levi didn’t want to be distracted by sex. He hadn’t let it distract him at his first Games, focusing only on the medals he wanted to claim, and he didn’t plan to let it distract him now. The opportunities were there, lots of guys made it obvious they would happily fuck or be fucked by him, but Levi declined. He did not want nor need the distraction.

There were two elevators that took the athletes up to the higher floors. Once Levi reached them, he saw one was already on its way up and the other, whilst on its way down, was on floor fourteen. He did contemplate the stairs and, whilst physically fit enough to climb twelve flights of stairs, he couldn’t really be bothered tonight.

There was one other guy waiting for the elevator and Levi glanced at him as he came to stand beside him. He was very tall and very blonde. Levi might have thought he was hot, but he wasn’t going to get distracted like that, so he forcefully did not think that.

He then turned his head and smiled at Levi, his soft blue eyes warm. Levi cleared his throat and looked away.

“Little Levi?” the stranger asked, surprising Levi by showing how quickly someone could go from gorgeous to infuriating. He had an accent, speaking Common, but Levi had never paid enough attention when he was travelling through the countries to be able to place accents as he heard them. As Levi did not answer, the stranger said, “I thought gymnasts were supposed to be cute and welcoming.”

“I’m not cute,” Levi disputed, the floor-numbers moving far too slowly as the elevator descended.

“And certainly not welcoming.” He let his eyes travel up and down Levi’s body, and Levi resisted the urge to shiver. He was not going to be distracted by a handsome stranger, he refused even the idea.

“Sorry to disappoint.”

“I am not disappointed, Little Levi,” he replied.

“Don’t call me that.” Levi set his jaw, willing the numbers to move faster.

“Isn’t that your nickname?”

“Yes. I did not decide on it myself.”

“I think it rather suits you.” His eyes went up and down Levi’s body again, and the hairs rose high across his skin.

“Hm,” Levi hummed, enticed by his deep voice but not by what he was saying. “What’s your sport?” he asked, finding himself slowly beginning to be distracted despite his attempts at preventing that.

“Swimming.”

“Of course it is,” Levi said, turning his head to look at his broad shoulders for a minute, not sure if he was trying to be obvious. He wasn’t meant to be getting distracted, but his swimmer-conversationalist was very distracting.

“I’m Erwin, by the way.”

“Oh, fuck,” Levi cursed, recognising him at last. “Powerhouse Smith?”

Erwin laughed through his nose. “Yes.”

“You wear speedos to work.”

“And you wear a leotard,” Erwin retorted, smirking. “A tight one.”

“Like fuck it is.”

“It’s a little tight.”

“And have you seen your speedos?”

“Have you?” Erwin asked, eyebrow cocked and almost smirking.

“Maybe,” Levi said, and wanting to change the subject, he asked, “but isn’t this your first Olympics?”

“It is.”

“Good luck then.” Levi timed it well enough that the doors opened. A fair few Olympians came out, dressed not in their Opening Ceremony outfits but in casual gear that they could celebrate in. Levi and Erwin stepped into the now empty elevator.

“That sounds like you’re saying goodbye,” Erwin commented, disappointment in his tone as Levi pressed floor twelve. He didn’t look at Erwin’s floor number because, if he did, he would take note of it and want to utilise that knowledge.

“Shouldn’t I be saying goodbye?” Levi asked, the door closing.

“These things are about coming together, aren’t they?” Erwin asked. “Shouldn’t we be socialising?”

“Why aren’t you out partying then?”

“I’ll party when I get Gold,” Erwin said as he winked. “You?”

Ignoring his wink, Levi said, “I don’t understand parties.”

“There’s not much to understand.”

“That’s the problem.”

“You don’t understand simple things?”

“Not much is simple.”

“Well, aren’t we getting deep here, stood in the Village elevator,” Erwin said, smiling.

Levi, being well distracted at this point, forgot himself and asked, “Would you like to go somewhere else?”

Something changed in Erwin’s eyes as he hooded them. It was blindingly obvious what Erwin wanted and, despite Levi not wanting any distraction, Erwin being that distraction was quite easy. It only had to be for one night, he supposed.

Levi was openly gay, he hadn’t been closeted for years. Most sportspeople had to keep closeted because, well, people were assholes and society was still outrageously homophobic. When Kenny had found him making out with a gymnast from another country during the Junior District Championships, Levi had expected a beating. However, all he had done was tell him to keep it private because, when the public knew someone famous was not straight, things could go awry.

So, for a few years, Levi had agreed and kept it quiet. Sure, there had been a few opportunities in interviews to tell the world, but Levi hadn’t wanted anything bad to happen. He wanted to be successful, and he didn’t want his sexuality to ruin his chances.

It was a shame that one of the most prominent questions Levi had gotten until he was eighteen was if he was dating any pretty girls. Levi’s stock answer had been that he was focusing so much on his gymnastics that he didn’t have time to be dating. This never stopped the rumours. He had been rumoured as dating Petra, Isabel, any female gymnast he came into contact with at competitions, but it was so very far from the truth.

When he had turned eighteen and he was far away from Kenny’s influence, he had decided to not be so quiet about it. There were hundred of reasons as to why people couldn’t come out, and as Levi had the opportunity to do so, he would do it. He had been concerned about the public disgrace, but he wanted to be able to be more comfortable in himself.

He didn’t often date, but he had had, at the age of eighteen, a boyfriend that he had been seeing for a year. His name was Mitabi and he did the trampoline, so they were in the same building. He had often caught Levi’s eye and Levi had kissed him when the building was being closed, Levi always remaining until it was locked up. It was quite pleasant, though Levi felt they would surely be caught when they started fucking on the mats. They hadn’t, but Levi was sure they easily could have been.

He hadn’t come out during an interview, they had just left the gymnastics building holding hands and Levi had kissed him, fully aware the paparazzi were about. It had been scandalous, but Levi’s calm demeanour meant he didn’t let it affect him.

There had been interviews and press galore afterwards. They asked him what it meant for his career and Levi had told them it didn’t mean a single thing because he was still a fucking good gymnast and whoever he slept with didn’t affect that. A lot of magazines and journalists had claimed it was the end of his career, but it hadn’t been because Levi was still winning things by the bucket.

He had been a part of representation, though they were still far from perfectly representing sexualities in the sports industry. Levi was glad he could be a role model in some aspect, hoping to help people realise someone’s sexuality meant nothing in terms of performance or competition. Some still looked at him with concern, but Levi couldn’t give less of a shit about them.

More sportspeople had come out after that, and Levi felt proud to have played his part. And so the world knew he was gay, and he didn’t particularly care.

“Where else would we go?” Erwin asked, licking his lips.

“Don’t be fucking coy with me, Erwin.”

Erwin laughed.

The elevator stopped on floor flour, confusing Levi for a moment. There weren’t any gymnasts getting on. But then he twigged.

“You’re on floor four?” Levi asked, Erwin putting his hand against the door so it didn’t close before they could exit.

“Yes.”

“I thought you’d be higher up,” Levi said, shrugging.

“Right…” Erwin said, acknowledging this. “My roommate will likely be out until early, so, my room is fine to…”

Levi rolled his eyes. “I’m alone in my room. We’ll go there.”

Erwin nodded but, before he could move his hand from the door, Levi stepped out, confusing Erwin.

“Do you have condoms?” Levi asked.

Erwin nodded.

“Then we need to go to your room to get them,” Levi said, pointedly.

Erwin stepped out as well and the elevator could finally move on. Erwin led Levi through the halls until they reached his room. Levi waited at the door, glancing inside and seeing it as being exactly the same as his own room, though there were more decorations and different gear in the open wardrobes. From where he was, he couldn’t see what the pictures that were taped to the walls were of, but it did pique Levi’s curiosity.

However, that would mean more investment if he knew more about Erwin, so he did not venture into the room and just waited until they went back to the elevator to ride it up to the twelfth floor, Erwin bearing a small bag, likely with clothes for tomorrow morning.

“I honestly thought someone like you would want an early night,” Erwin said, Levi shrugging. “I’ve read that you carry your team through competitions.”

“That’s ridiculous. They’re good gymnasts.” Levi hated it when people said things like that. Sure, Levi may have been more experienced than them, but that didn’t mean he was better than them. He certainly didn’t believe that, and no one else should either.

“I’d say being more famous means you do carry that weight more though,” Erwin said.

“I carry it only because I can. I’m their coach and a gymnast, I can deal with it just fine.”

“You are a lot kinder than some of the papers would make out.” Erwin smiled.

They paused for a moment, watching each other. Levi could tell Erwin wanted him, it wasn’t difficult to see. The odd thing was that Levi wanted him as well, but he would promise that it was only for tonight.

“And why didn’t you get any condoms?” Erwin asked just before the doors opened on their floor.

“Because I didn’t want to get distracted this year,” Levi answered, stepping out.

“You have my sincerest apologies.”

Levi heard the smirk in his tone and he flipped Erwin off as he led him down the hall.


	2. Anywhere

When they got to Levi’s room, Erwin stepped passed him so he could admire the view. Levi locked the door behind him and came into the room, putting his key card on the table. He wondered if he had time to make some tea, but he didn’t know what kind of message that would send to Erwin.

“This city is beautiful, isn’t it?” Erwin commented, staring out of the window.

He watched Erwin for a moment, framed perfectly by the lights of the city and its buildings. There was a glow coming into the room, making his olive skin radiate, and Levi watched him, something strange brewing in his chest.

“Mm,” Levi hummed and started undressing, Erwin still facing the window.

He unzipped his jacket and placed it carefully on the desk before pulling his shirt over his head and folding it, placing it on top. Erwin was too entranced by the view to hear Levi taking off his shoes, and Levi watched him curiously.

When Erwin turned around, his eyes fell to Levi’s bare chest and stomach, drinking in the sight of his muscles and skin. The hairs were rising across his body despite the heat of the night and the warm room, and Levi put it down to being nearly naked.

“You took your jacket off,” Erwin commented after the fact, after staring at him for a good long while.

“Aren’t you observant?” Levi quirked an eyebrow and Erwin smiled.

After another pause, Erwin approached Levi as he stood still, watching him. When stood directly in front of him, he was very tall indeed and he had to crane his neck to look him in the eyes. To anyone else, it might have been intimidating but, to Levi, he was aroused.

Bringing one hand up to his cheek, Erwin stroked his thumb across his cheekbone and leaned down. His pupils were engulfing the colour and Levi guessed his own were probably in a similar disposition. He had promised himself he would not get distracted, but how could he possibly keep to that when Erwin was so enticing?

When their lips met, Levi felt his bones melt, Erwin being so soft and warm. He could feel Erwin’s breath on his skin, sending shivers down his spine. Fireworks were still going off outside and Levi could hear them whistle through the sky before they exploded in a storm of colours. But Levi’s attention was elsewhere; on Erwin’s lips and the stunning blue of his eyes Levi could still see even when both their eyes were closed, in his mind.

Levi kept his hands to himself to begin with because he was waiting for it to get rough. Levi was not used to being tender, and he wasn’t going to start now. As he could feel Erwin being all too tender, Levi bit into his bottom lip and relished in the moan it pulled from him.

They broke apart, still close enough that Levi could see the darker streaks of lapis in his eyes. He could feel Erwin studying him, and he wasn’t sure if he was okay with it.

“Are you gonna fuck me now, or what?” Levi asked with a level tone.

Erwin laughed though his nose, a chuckle light in his throat. “That was the plan.”

“Then get on with it.”

A smirk spread across Erwin’s lips as he leant down. As he pressed his warm lips to Levi’s again, he grabbed him by the back of his thighs and pulled him up, Levi wrapping his legs around Erwin’s hips naturally. They fit like that together, Levi’s legs tight around his body as his arms wrapped around his neck, Erwin’s hands gripping onto Levi’s clothed ass, tight.

Walking back towards the bed, Erwin licked Levi’s lips, Levi opening his mouth instinctively so their tongues could wet their kiss. It became messier then, noisy as Erwin approached the bed, leaning down to place Levi on the mattress. Levi kept his arms around Erwin’s neck, their bodies close, heat radiating between them, pulses fastening.

Erwin stood himself up and pulled off his long-sleeved, thin jumper that was adorned with the yellow and red of Rose’s flag to reveal the vest he wore underneath. He took that off to reveal his bare shoulders which were broad and muscled. The mere sight of him, bare chested, made Levi hot under the collar. Erwin kicked off his shoes and got to his belt, taking his trousers off with speed. Levi was too entranced by the sight of him in tight underwear to remember to take his own trousers off as well.

His cock was enormous, pressing against the fabric of his tight underwear. It made Levi desperately hot, his own body reacting by sending blood to his groin, swelling his length. He was so fucking ready for this.

Erwin leaned down and pressed his lips to Levi’s again, undoing Levi’s belt buckle as he did. Levi bit his bottom lip, tugging at it to elicit a moan that had Levi rutting up into the air. Erwin rather yanked Levi’s trousers off, baring him naked bar his underwear, his own erection pressing against his boxer briefs.

He paused for a moment to drink in the sight of Levi before he knelt at the bottom of the bed and pulled Levi’s underwear off him. Levi had no qualms about his body and took pleasure in the satisfied look Erwin sent him. Pushing himself up onto his elbows, Levi then watched as Erwin took his cock into his mouth, sucking him between his lips. There was a little hum that escaped Levi’s lips for it had been a while since he had had sex.

Erwin was very good at giving head, Levi discovered that quickly. The way he took him to the back of his throat, hollowed his cheeks against his length, played with his balls, Levi was in fucking heaven. He had wanted to sit up and watch him, but he had ended up lying flat against the bed, hands balled in the sheets as Erwin sucked him up and down.

Erwin took him down his throat, sucking him as far as Levi could go. Levi felt the crescents form in his palms from his nails as he buried his moans in his lungs. Erwin’s tongue was fucking miraculous and the way he pressed it against the base of Levi’s cock sent a wave of pleasure rushing through Levi’s body. Levi reminded himself he would have to repay the favour when the opportunity arose.

He hollowed his cheeks again and again, mouth moving up and down Levi’s solid length, swallowing his precum down his throat. Levi could not stop his hand as it moved down to Erwin’s head and locked his fingers through his blonde locks, letting his wrist move up and down with Erwin’s head. He found himself almost writhing beneath Erwin’s mouth, and he moaned, fireworks exploding outside as Levi felt himself buck into Erwin’s throat.

When Erwin finished with a long and slow lick up the veins on the underside of Levi’s cock, Levi looked at him, his lips swollen and stunning. It made Levi swallow, and the grin Erwin sent him was overwhelming.

He set his lips to Levi’s thigh then, sucking into the sensitive flesh there. As this part of his body would be hidden from the world when he was competing, Levi allowed it. He did so love mouth-sized bruises on his skin, but they were difficult to explain and hide in his profession.

Erwin’s teeth worked gently at the skin, one of his large hands coming to Levi’s cock and rubbing him in his palm. Levi closed his eyes and cursed, his mind finding it difficult focusing on both Erwin’s hot mouth against his skin and his warm palm around his length.

He stayed there for a moment, rubbing Levi’s saliva-slicked cock and then biting at different spots on Levi’s inner thigh, marking him. Levi enjoyed the idea of being able to admire them in the mirror come morning. He also enjoyed Erwin’s rhythm on his length, though it was slow and he would have preferred it a little harsher.

Once finished, after licking at the red spots he had made, Erwin went to fetch the lubricant and condom. Levi watched him, propping himself up on his elbows again and watching Erwin’s ass as he moved about the room. It was fucking delectable, particularly when he slipped his underwear off, and Levi bit his lip when he bent over to grab the bottle of lube out of his bag.

He was caught when Erwin turned around, but Levi felt no shame about it. In fact, he was glad he had been caught because the lustful expression on Erwin’s face would stay with him forever.

When Erwin climbed on the bed atop Levi, Levi waited patiently for him to settle himself and leaned up to meet Erwin’s lips. His want was coursing through him, and he wrapped his arms around Erwin’s neck to keep him there, mouths entwined, bodies hungry.

They parted when Erwin rolled the condom down his cock and Levi hummed contently at the thoughts of what would follow. He was unsure how he was going to manage to take the size of Erwin’s cock, but he was enamoured by it.

Levi watched as he poured the lubricant down the length of him, rubbing it up and down his length with slow movements of his wrist. Levi made a slightly strangled sound with his throat, wanting this gorgeous length and girth inside him. He watched as Erwin touched himself so his cock was slick enough to push inside Levi’s cunt, and that was just a little too much to allow himself to keep those moans in his throat.

Levi wasn’t always the one being fucked, he usually topped, but he could tell Erwin was going to dominate him, even if he was being a touch tender right now. He certainly wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity of having Erwin inside him.

His cock was so solid, Levi honestly thought he might come just from Erwin having sucked into his thighs and then watching him touch himself. When Erwin spread his thighs with his strong hands, Levi felt his cock begin to weep some more, the trail warm against his hip where his cock was resting. He really felt ready to come when Erwin pressed the tip of his slicked fingers into the tight rim of muscle of his cunt. It was only to lubricate him, to ease the process of Erwin’s cock slipping inside him, but it was just enough pressure that his cock reacted, twitching and eager for more interaction.

He bucked his hips at the contact, and he caught Erwin smirking. He stroked his thick cock again for a moment, Levi’s cunt contracting in desperation for Erwin to push himself inside him.

They kissed again, hunger consuming them as they bit into each other’s lips and let their tongues meet over and over. Levi didn’t often make too much noise, particularly with someone new, but Erwin was pulling it from him, and Levi could not resist. He could not keep his whimpering in his throat where it belonged.

Levi lost all sense he might have usually had when Erwin took his cock and pressed just the head inside him. Erwin was huge and Levi saw white before he relaxed into Erwin’s touch, wrapping his legs around Erwin’s hips to keep him close.

Erwin took his sweet time working Levi’s cunt open enough that he could slip in and out of him comfortably, and Levi so wanted him to hurry up. Sure, he didn’t want to be split in half by the mere size of him, but this gentle rhythm was driving Levi damn near insane. He would slip only an inch or two inside him before almost pulling out completely, and Levi wanted so much more.

However, the more inches he got inside him, the more he moaned. Whilst infuriating, having Erwin’s length move in and out of him, almost coming out completely before he pushed back in did feel sensational.

Eventually, with every inch Erwin had inside him, Erwin gripped onto his hips something fierce, keeping him in position so he could rock back and forth with ease. They worked out a rhythm that would fill Levi without putting too much strain on his hips and then Erwin set his mouth to Levi’s neck. He didn’t suck hard enough to press bruises onto his skin, but he did it harsh enough that Levi keened and wanted more. Of course, he couldn’t turn up in public with hickeys on his neck, but he could dream, and those dreams and the reality sent his body wild.

Erwin’s thrusts were long, relatively slow given how Levi usually wanted it, but Levi still felt pleasured, his body reacting pleasantly to the gentler fucking. Levi let his hands roam wherever he could touch him; in his hair, along his back, his hips. He wanted to touch his ass, but his limbs were a touch short, which was annoying. But he couldn’t be annoyed for long because Erwin was inside him and filling him, his thoughts focusing purely on that and how desperate his body was.

There were still fireworks outside, but Levi could barely hear them over their moaning and heavy breathing. He could feel that excitement though, particularly when Erwin reached a hand to Levi’s cock and started rubbing him in time with his thrusting. His body was still close, their heat radiating off each other, and so much of their hot skin rubbed, particularly with Erwin stroking his cock.

Levi kept his hands on Erwin’s back, digging his fingers in slightly and his legs growing tighter around Erwin’s thick hips. He didn’t want to bruise Erwin. Whilst Levi could hide some of his bruises, there was virtually nowhere for Erwin to hide them unless they were on his ass, and Levi couldn’t reach down to bruise there.

When Erwin’s thrusts grew shallower, Levi could feel his own opening contracting with how close he was getting as well. His cock was desperate, swollen and leaking against his stomach. Erwin’s hands spread his precum up and down his length, and it was all too much to hold on.

Levi came in messy and heavy loads across his stomach, calling Erwin’s name once before he bit his lip and contracted his opening to encourage his come out of him. His body thrust about, orgasm consuming him, sending him senseless for a moment. Erwin was still thrusting inside him, fucking him without a rhythm, holding Levi tight to his body, muscles contracting.

Levi felt his warm semen fill the condom, the strained noise that left his throat fucking glorious. He kissed sloppily across Levi’s pale throat as his emptied himself into the condom, Levi still recovering from his own orgasm.

They breathed there for a while, recovering and filling their lungs before they moved. The first thing Levi did was get a cloth because being covered in come was absolutely disgusting. He lay down next to Erwin once he had cleaned himself and gotten comfortable underneath the sheets. Erwin wrapped an arm around him and pulled him into his chest. Typically, Levi wasn’t comfortable with too much contact, but they had just fucked, so Levi was feeling a touch more intimate than usual.

“You certainly are quite little,” Erwin commented, and he kissed into Levi’s hair, sending a shiver down his spine.

“Fuck me, you are observant,” Levi said, resting his cheek on Erwin’s smooth chest. He could feel Erwin’s laugh reverberate through him.

“I’ve seen you on screen, but I never thought you’d be this small,” Erwin said, and Levi could hear the smirk on his lips which made him slap Erwin’s chest lightly. If he had seen him on screen, he clearly knew Levi was not a fan of people talking about his height. He wasn’t ashamed of it, but he didn’t like it being a noted fact of his, which was obviously not an easy thing considering height was kind of what people might notice about you first.

“Mm,” was all Levi could muster. “Do you shave your chest?”

“Yeah, well, wax. It helps being streamlined.” Erwin was running a hand up and down Levi’s back and it was wholly distracting. Although Erwin could likely feel the scars that littered his back, he didn’t make note of it, he merely just kept touching him. Maybe he was too tired to understand what he was touching, Levi didn’t know. “Do you?”

“No,” Levi said, breathing growing deep as he grew tired. “I’m just not very hairy.”

“Right,” Erwin said, his tone slowing. “When are your events?”

“Next week’s the Qualifiers,” Levi answered. “What about you?”

“Same, the divers go first.”

“Mm.”.

Sleep claimed him gradually as the gentle rise and fall of his chest was enough to send him softly to sleep.

When morning broke, Erwin’s chest was still going just as softly, which was pleasant to wake up to. Since they had not closed the curtains the night before, the sun was pouring into the room, covering everything in a thick layer of light. It hurt Levi’s eyes as he rubbed them and yawned.

It was early, but Levi always woke early because of his insomnia. It was a plus, however, because he could use the equipment before it got too busy. He wasn’t allowed to use it too much because the trampolining went first, but he would get any practice in that he could. The issue with the date of the Team Final was not something Levi would easily recover from, but maybe enough practise would deter the issue so it would not compromise him and, in turn, the rest of his team.

There was a stirring beside him and Levi wondered if he should sit up and move away to make Erwin more comfortable with waking up in a stranger’s bed. However, he was too comfortable and he couldn’t be bothered. Erwin had fucked him last night, he better be comfortable waking up in his bed.

When he opened his eyes, he took a moment to focus before he looked over at Levi, his gaze softening as their eyes met. He gave Levi a soft smile and Levi nodded his head once as his greeting. Smiling was not his thing. As hot as Erwin might be, he would not get Levi to smile, even if he was just as gorgeous in the morning as he had been last night.

“Good morning,” Erwin greeted, voice rough from sleep.

“Morning,” Levi replied, stretching his neck and letting his head come back to rest on Erwin’s warm chest.

“When are you getting up to practise?”

“Now,” Levi said, sitting up and stretching his lithe limbs, his back curving, knowing very well the sight of his back down to the hilt of his ass would be alluring. He didn’t have time to be fucked again, but he liked the idea of Erwin lusting after him.

However, there was a silence in the room that came not from admiration but more from curiosity, more from being stunned into silence. Levi didn’t quite understand it until he looked back to Erwin, who was staring at his back, at the scars.

Levi supposed he had been too tired last night to recognise what he was touching. He knew they would likely be jarring. Seeing them on screen and seeing them in person had to be very different, and, whilst Levi had long grown used to them, he supposed he could understand that not everyone would be.

“Oh, yeah. Those are there,” Levi said, clearing his throat.

“I didn’t realise it was, uh…” Erwin began, clearing his throat and thinking of his words before he said them. “It’s quite different to see them in person… Is he still in jail?”

“Does it matter?” Levi asked.

“No,” Erwin said, and Levi could hear the soft tone in his voice indicating his careful nature as he navigated the topic. Levi did not want that.

“I’m getting up,” Levi said, stretching again.

“Could you stay?”

“No. I have medals to win,” Levi said, staring over his shoulder and looking at Erwin, his hand settling at the small of Levi’s back.

“I don’t think you’re as egotistical as that.”

“Maybe I am.” Levi shrugged. “We also don’t have another condom, so there’s that.”

“I could get one.”

“I didn’t realise swimmers were so fucking horny.” Levi rolled his eyes and pulled the covers off his legs, stepping onto the floor and out of the bed. He could feel the weight of Erwin’s gaze as he bent to collect some underwear, but he had things to do and he couldn’t spend his time being fucked by Erwin Smith, although that was certainly enticing. He had promised it would only be for one night, he couldn’t let it be a continuous thing.

“You should probably do some of that swimming thing,” Levi said, going to his wardrobe to collect some of his practice gear.

As he started dressing, Erwin stood as well. Levi didn’t watch him dress, even if he might have wanted to. This was a mere thing of lust, of instantaneous desire. Levi did not intend for it to happen again.

When Levi had gathered his things into his bag and was ready to go, he noted that Erwin was stood, staring out of the window at the city below. It was beautiful in the morning; the light covering the expensive city, basking it all in its glow and waking it. Whilst it was bright, it was an enchanting view and Levi could understand why Erwin was hypnotised by it. But they had an Olympics to do, so Levi thought he should get them going. Levi had wanted to shower, but he had spent too much time waking with Erwin, so he would just have to shower when he got back.

“You coming?” Levi asked, not wanting to take Erwin from his joy of watching, but thinking he should.

Erwin nodded and turned to follow Levi out of the room. There was a momentary pause before Erwin leant down to kiss Levi on the cheek. Levi had not been expecting it, but he did feel this strange sense of warmth spread from where Erwin’s lips had been placed to his skin.

They didn’t speak much as they got into the elevator, Erwin getting out on floor four, Levi continuing down until he reached the ground floor. From there, Levi made his way to the gymnastics building to greet his team. On his way, he ate a cereal bar and drank his protein shake. He would have preferred a better breakfast, but he wanted to get to the building before all the equipment was taken up. They only had a certain amount of time in their slot, so the earlier he got to his session, the better.

As the Games had officially started, it was busier than it had been before. Levi paid little attention to them, putting his headphones on and just walking. He didn’t want to be spotted, so he kept his head down and just kept walking until he got to his building.

Inside, the seats were starting to fill up. There were still a couple of hours before the Trampolining Qualifiers and that side for the audience was already quite full. As they would be waiting, at least they had the gymnastics to watch.

His team turned up shortly after Levi had stretched, so, as their coach, he set them up with what they needed to do as he went over to the high bar, the beam being occupied. He didn’t want to push himself too much, but he wanted to go through the routines, ease out the nerves and work out his muscles.

He wasn’t aiming to impress or wow, he was just trying some of his moves, going round and round the bar, keeping himself upright and making sure his posture was perfect. He was going to push through the dreaded day of the Team Finals and prove to himself that he was a great gymnast. He knew he was, really, not that he would ever congratulate himself on anything like this because he didn’t want to get comfortable. But he had great form, he could master the most difficult moves, he rarely hesitated, he was a great gymnast. He did not want his memories of his mother or his uncle to stop him from showing that at these Olympics.

When Isabel was on the rings, Levi sent Farlan to the vault, and Levi went over to the parallel bars. They didn’t spend much time talking because Levi and Isabel were not only qualifying for the Team Finals, they were qualifying for the All-Around Individual Finals, as well as each of them trying to qualify for the Event Finals they were strongest in. Levi wanted to push himself, qualify for everything, prove himself to everybody.

Gymnasts retired early, like most athletes did. Whilst Levi was still young, he knew he didn’t have years and years left in him, not with the way he worked his body and how sure he was he would get arthritis or something worse in the future. Yes, he was fit, but the years of strain and forced contortion were not good for anyone.

After the parallel bars, as he waited for the beam to free up, he directed his team where to go next. There was a part of Levi that thought he could very well be overwhelmed by the idea of being their top gymnast and their coach, but it was good being able to direct them. Giving them advice, being able to aid them, it was another way Levi felt he could help, be a role model, and that was satisfying.

Each of his teammates had their strengths; Farlan was perfect on the pommel horse, Petra was a saint on the uneven and parallel bars, Eld was a gem on the vault, and Isabel and Levi were the all-rounders. Of course, each of them were good gymnasts and could perform on every apparatus well, but everyone had their strengths and weaknesses; Levi’s strength was the beam and his weakness was the vault.

Whilst Levi would never brag, he was an all-rounder because Kenny had taught to be that. He had not had a natural talent for the vault or the parallel bars, but he had been forced to become perfect on them. Whilst Kenny’s technique was far from perfect, he had made Levi the gymnast he was, and, whilst Levi hated what Kenny had made him at times, he was almost grateful for it too, even though he knew he shouldn’t be. He was successful, and he didn’t want to put that down to Kenny, but there were times he thought Kenny had made him who he was, and he didn’t know exactly how to deal with that.

But he ignored that because he was at the Olympics, and he had other things to concentrate on rather than how he had been trained as a young boy and how that training was affecting him until this day.

Their session ended a couple of hours later and Levi went with his team to get food. He would be back later because he wanted to sneak some extra time in after the Trampolining Qualifiers had finished, but that would be after night had sunk in. Now, he ate food and ignored Isabel and Farlan taking pictures for their Instagram feed.

Again, Levi contemplated how they had it in them to take selfies. The only things he could muster to post were group selfies like they had taken before, and videos and images of him performing or receiving medals and trophies. Sometimes he took pictures of the skies that he loved or of idyllic cities, but never closeup images of himself. He left that to Isabel and Farlan, always saying they were the reason his fans loved him because they gave them images that Levi himself could never muster within him to take.

After they ate, Levi went upstairs to shower, running his skin under the warm water. Usually, his showers were quick, but he took a longer one today, knowing he had pushed himself a touch too much during practice and knowing he was going to do the exact same this evening when he went back. He let his skin soak up the warm water, running his head under the stream and letting his muscles relax.

As there was still some time before he could go down and sneak in before they closed the building for the night, Levi switched on the television and performed his evening stretches. There was a generic rundown of the first day of competitions, and Levi watched it idly, wishing time would pass faster so he could go back to the gymnastics building, pushing himself lower in his splits.

When the time came, Levi walked through the dark city until he entered the gymnastics building, just as the Trampolining Qualifiers were coming to an end. There were a few other artistic gymnasts waiting to do some practice before the building was closed, and they didn’t have to wait long. Some people remained just after the Qualifiers were finished, but Levi didn’t care if he was watched. He clapped the chalk onto his hands and started practising again.

He practised until he was sure he was the last man standing. The building was closed to anyone else coming in, but they would keep it open until Levi left. He wouldn’t keep anyone waiting for too long, he just wanted as much time to practise as he could. He knew he always wanted just that extra five minutes that never ended, but he couldn’t help himself.

He did some gentle pirouettes and flips as his warm down, knowing he had overworked himself again. But Levi always felt, if he wasn’t a touch sore, he hadn’t worked himself hard enough. It might not have been the right attitude, but Levi couldn’t change his attitude in the week he had before they were at the Qualifiers. So, he would push himself and push himself because that was the work ethic he had been given as a child.

He was in the middle of performing another flip when a person appeared at the end of the beam. He almost made him slip, but he steadied himself. Landing on his feet on the top of the beam, Levi looked at Erwin who was watching him from the other end. There was an intent in his eye, but Levi was playing hard to get. Well, maybe they had fucked the night before, but he didn’t want Erwin to think he was _that_ easy, even if it was the truth.

Levi had told himself that it was going to be a one-night thing, but maybe it could be a two-night thing. He could allow himself that, he thought, for pushing his body like he had today.

“What?” Levi asked, keeping his tone as level as possible, balancing his feet on the beam, knowing his form was perfect and that Erwin was admiring him for it.

“You’re here late,” Erwin stated. “You shouldn’t wear yourself out.”

“How do you know I’ve been here the whole time?”

“When I finished practising, I came to watch the Trampolining Qualifiers.” He paused. “And you.”

“Ah, so you’re a pervert.” Levi rolled his eyes and performed a clever somersault so he flipped his body around and sat gently on the beam. Maybe he did it to show it off. Erwin was bringing it out of him.

Levi could see Erwin’s eyes growing dark, and that wasn’t down to the fact there weren’t many lights left on.

“You look very beautiful when you do that… thing,” Erwin complimented, making gestures with his hands as he got closer to Levi. Clearly, Erwin was not all that clued up on gymnastics and its terms. “You’re very agile.”

“I have to be,” Levi retorted. “It’s kind of my job.”

Erwin laughed lightly, closer to Levi now. Erwin rested his arms on the beam, looking up at Levi. Even though Levi was on the beam above Erwin, there wasn’t much height difference between them. Levi didn’t know why he enjoyed it so much, but he did.

“You smell like chlorine,” Levi said, filling the silence between them as they watched each other.

“I have showered.” Erwin winced, but Levi didn’t intend for it to come off like he didn’t want Erwin to smell like chlorine. Chlorine meant he was clean. Levi loved clean.

“You still smell like chlorine,” Levi said.

“Well, would _you_ like to shower with me?”

The request was all too tempting,

Erwin leaned forward, knowing he had won Levi over, and brought their lips together. They were just as warm as Levi remembered, a little wetter this time. Levi breathed him in, revelling in the fact he was taller than someone for once. A gentle hum left Erwin’s throat, a shiver running its way down Levi’s spine, raising the hairs across his skin.

If Erwin could have picked him up and carried him all the way to his room again, Levi would have loved that. But it was a long way back to the Village, and it was also out in the public domain, which would have incurred a lot of confusion and attention. The paparazzi would be on them in seconds, and it was probably inappropriate to do that sort of thing outside, where anyone could see. Although it was tempting, Levi knew they probably shouldn’t do that.

As they parted, Erwin smiled at him and Levi cocked an eyebrow.

“Shall we?” Erwin asked, and he pushed himself off the balance beam.

“You think you’re that lucky?”

“With you, yes.” The smirk on Erwin’s face sent blood straight down to areas he would not want the public to notice when he went outside.

Levi scoffed despite its truth. Swinging his leg over the beam, Levi pushed himself off and went to collect his things. Erwin waited for him patiently, watching Levi’s every move, and then they left together. The air was humid, and Levi breathed it into his lungs, comforted by the lights of the buildings around them.

On their way back, Erwin initiated the conversation and Levi was content to partake, even if he wasn’t that much of a talker. Erwin spoke about training, and Levi listened to how much of a nicer time he had had than Levi; Erwin’s father had been a teacher and the school pool was open for hours after the school had closed, so Erwin had been able to swim there when his father was catching up on work or planning lessons. He had fallen in love with it at such a young age and, whilst Levi had done the same, their upbringing after they had found their loves for sport had been very different.

Erwin had been entered in competitions and won them and, when he didn’t get first place, he had not been beaten for it. In fact, he was always allowed to celebrate, even when he didn’t consistently beat his previous time.

Apparently, after his father had died, he had taken a big hit and not competed for a few years, but the friends he had trained with had encouraged him back into it and that was when he had started to do relays. Levi almost envied how he had had it. Yes, his father had died, and Levi knew the pain he had gone through, but to have it like that, to be able to do it and enjoy it and celebrate it, what a life Levi wished he could have led.

The world knew of Levi’s troubles; they knew of his mother’s death, they knew of his uncle, they knew of his scars. Even though Levi rarely spoke about them, the world knew about it and about him. The questions had quietened down, but they always resurfaced when Levi showed his scars during a competition, and they would resurface again now he had been in his practice gear. He didn’t care, but he didn’t want to talk about them. Not everyone asked about them, but there was always at least one person who referenced it, and Levi wished people would move on.

Ignoring that, however, Levi stripped himself down when they got to his room and stepped into the shower, all ready for steamy shower sex. Shower sex was probably Levi’s favourite because he could come, and then clean and shower straight away. It was a win-win situation.

Sure, it was bad for the drain or whatever, but that wouldn’t be his responsibility once he left this room.

Erwin joined him a few minutes later, the water to the heat setting Levi liked it. With all the muscle strain he got, having a hot shower was the best way to relax the twinges and pangs he got throughout the day. Sure, he had already had a shower today, but with the things he put his body through, having another steamy shower wasn’t going to be a problem. His body certainly needed it.

In the shower, he was aware how much his scars glistened underneath the water. He hoped Erwin was over seeing them in person, hoping he could ignore them so they could get to fucking. He knew they were jarring, but he really didn’t like the idea that Erwin was focusing on them.

But Erwin was stood behind him, clearly looking at the scars that were even more prominent. Levi continued to ignore him, wetting his hair so he could actually shower if Erwin wasn’t going to fuck him.

“Staring at them won’t make them go away,” Levi commented, running his head under the water and turning around, not self-conscious about being naked.

Erwin’s eyes met his, a clear sense of concern in their blue colour.

“Stop it,” Levi said.

“It’s just… I didn’t realise he beat you like that,” Erwin said. “That much.”

“Everyone knows he beat me like that. It was all over the news and everyone can see my scars when I’m competing,” Levi said. There was an anger bubbling in his chest, though it wasn’t towards Erwin; it was because of Kenny and his past, and because everyone knew his past even if that was entirely unfair. He might have shown the world his scars and his court case against his uncle might have been highly publicised, but he hadn’t done it to shock the world, he had done it for complicated reasons, spite being one of them. The world knowing wasn’t fair, even if Levi had, sort of, told them anyway.

“I don’t think people know how jarring it is to see it in person.”

“No, probably not. I don’t really care though, Erwin.”

“Okay,” Erwin said, quietly as possible. “I was just a little shocked this morning.”

“Okay,” Levi said, pointedly.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I don’t know. I feel like I’ve angered you.”

“You haven’t.”

“Okay.” Erwin clearly did not believe him.

“Just fuck me,” Levi said.

Erwin stepped forward then, lust consuming what had been concern a few moments ago.

Shower sex was actually a little difficult because water wasn’t good for penetrative sex, and condoms were useless. However, there was still plenty they could do and, as Erwin had given such good head the day before, Levi decided he would repay him for that now.

Levi knelt in front of Erwin and sucked his soft cock as he swelled into his mouth. Erwin locked his hands in Levi’s wet locks and let his hands move in time with Levi’s head. He enveloped his monstrous cock as he grew between his lips, his tongue flat against the gorgeous veins. He used his wet lips to suck at the head of his cock, licking against his slit and making Erwin buck into his mouth, the most gorgeous of noises leaving his lips.

It had been a while since Levi had taken a cock so deep into his throat, and he needed some practice before he could take all of Erwin down his throat. But the hum it elicited from Erwin was so satisfying, it made the choking sensation totally worth it, and he did it again and again, swallowing against him and hollowing his cheeks.

Erwin did fuck into his throat a few times, likely unable to control it, and Levi didn’t mind. He could open his throat, let Erwin’s girth fill his mouth, his head touch the back. He liked that feeling, of having something this beautiful and large fill his mouth.

His lips were wet, not only from the shower but from the saliva that came out of his mouth, from wetting Erwin’s cock as he fucked into him. He liked the feeling of Erwin’s big hands in his wet locks, holding his head, moving in the rhythm Levi had set, taking Erwin further, filling his throat with him.

He kept moving his head up and down, letting Erwin fill him until he was coming down his throat in thick and hot loads. Levi swallowed it down, salt prominent on his tongue as he stood and wiped his hand across his mouth.

They kissed gently before Erwin pushed Levi to the other wall and started running his hand up and down Levi’s swelling length, his body always having liked the sensation of blowing another guy. The water was good enough lubricant for that, and Erwin touched his length over and over, their mouths still connected.

It was hot and heavy, the steam making their skin warm and slick, rubbing over each other. Erwin’s mouth was dominant, claiming Levi’s lips that had been around his cock mere moments ago.

Levi came when Erwin started kissing along his neck, sucking gently with his wet mouth. It did not take him long to come. He had had an exhausting day and he had already swallowed Erwin’s release down his throat and they had had sex the night before, so Levi thought he had enough excuses to come as quickly as he did.

After that, they showered properly, taking turns under the stream, Levi watching the water run down Erwin’s tanned skin, particularly the perfect shape of his ass when he wasn’t washing. He knew Erwin was admiring his body, maybe his scars as well, but Levi didn’t care. He had been pleasured, he had come, his last few reservations had disappeared as he showered with him.

Once he had changed into nightwear after they had finished showering, Levi lay on top of the sheets and put the television on, another rundown of events playing as well as what would be on tomorrow.

Erwin came out a few moments later, dressed in what he had been wearing previously because his things were in his own room. His hair was still wet, and he was still gorgeous, making Levi swallow when he saw him. He stood in the doorway of the bathroom, waiting for confirmation of what came next, but Levi didn’t really care. He could stay if he wanted, and he could leave if he wanted.

“Can I stay?” Erwin asked.

Levi nodded, and Erwin made his way around the bed to lie on the other side. There was another bed in the room but he was glad he came to stay in his bed again. They didn’t speak for a while and, although it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, Levi could tell Erwin wanted to talk.

“Go on,” Levi prompted, knowing Erwin just needed that push. Levi didn’t care, and he didn’t know why Erwin did.

“I’m sorry,” Erwin apologised. “I shouldn’t pry.”

“You can if you want. I don’t care.”

“I’m just curious.”

“About which part?”

“Why there are so many.”

“Scars?”

Erwin nodded.

“I messed up a lot when I was younger.”

“Messed up?”

“On the equipment. I wasn’t good at the vault, because I’m short as fuck. I mean, that probably doesn’t change much, but I always put it down to that. So, every time I fucked it up, the belt came out.”

“ _Belt_?”

“Yeah.”

“Holy hell, Levi.”

“Mm.” Levi could only deal with talking about these issues for a short period of time before it got too much. He had reached that point.

Somehow, Erwin could tell, and he didn’t press the issue. Levi didn’t know how he knew, but he did, and he was kind of thankful for that. A limited number of people could read Levi, and Levi wondered if he had found someone else who could do it.

They went to sleep less than an hour later, Erwin coming up behind Levi and wrapping his arms around him. It wasn’t typical for Levi to let someone be so intimate with him when he barely knew them, but Erwin was a comfortable presence. He did not push Levi and he did not force him to talk, and Levi was comforted by him in a way he could not explain.

And he promised himself he wouldn’t get distracted by him, but he was, he well and truly was distracted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to mention, but there will be updates every Saturday x


	3. Go

A very sweet pattern unfolded over the next few days that Levi allowed himself to get far too used to. They would wake together, let themselves come to consciousness as they lay naked together, then they would go to their respective venues to practise for the day. Following this, they would meet, order some food up to Levi’s room, and then fuck before they fell asleep.

It meant he saw so much of Erwin that he got accustomed to it. He almost looked forward to seeing him when practice was coming to an end, and that was not something Levi thought he should get used to. And yet, here he was, at the end of each practice, looking forward to seeing Erwin’s gentle smile and soft, blue eyes.

When it came to qualifications, things did change. Erwin’s started a few days before Levi’s because he had so many to qualify for, going for every single swimming event except for the butterfly and the outdoor one. Levi did not envy him for the amount of swimming he would be doing, particularly because Levi could not swim.

The overwhelming smell of chlorine was actually stunning because it meant Erwin was clean. If cleanliness was a kink, Levi had it. He hadn’t known Erwin long enough to tell him about his weird obsession with cleanliness, but Erwin had been with _him_ long enough to see it coming out in everything he did. He had made one or two comments, and Levi had responded either with giving him the best glare he knew or by kissing him, so it wasn’t much of an issue.

The Gymnastic Qualifications were only a couple of days away and Levi could feel that pressure beginning to build. Usually, he would push himself until the day of the competition so he knew he would be successful, but this was the Olympics. If he strained himself, he wouldn’t be able to perform, and he would hate himself. There had been the occasion or two where he had done just that, and it was devastating. Levi was used to overworking himself, but being part of a team meant he had to be more considerate. There would be no overworking himself this time.

Levi awoke on the day of Erwin’s first Heat, Erwin beside him, arms around Levi’s much smaller body and keeping him close. As ever, it was sunny, the city covered in this blinding, bright light. For the first time ever, Erwin was awake before Levi, and Levi put it down to nerves.

Whilst Erwin did not seem like the kind of person who would be terribly impacted by nerves, Levi could see he was. However, Levi was not going to make any assumptions about Erwin because despite them having fucked over and over and spent so much time together consistently, they didn’t know each other well enough for Levi to make those assumptions.

Erwin was staring up at the ceiling, a slight crease between his brow. Considering the ceiling wasn’t all that interesting, Levi knew the threat of competition was weighing on his mind. It would be hard for that not to weigh on his mind; it was the Olympics.

In fact, there was so much on his mind, he didn’t even notice Levi had awoken beside him.

Levi reached a hand up to smooth Erwin’s hair down from where it had been roused from sleep. Erwin made no sign to note he knew Levi was awake. Levi was kind of shocked he was so influenced by his nerves, he didn’t seem like the kind of person to be impacted like this.

Twirling a few strands around his finger, Levi pushed himself up and looked into Erwin’s blue eyes. Erwin just looked up at him, conflict firm in his gaze.

“You okay?” Levi asked.

Erwin nodded. “Of course.”

“What time is your Heat?”

“It starts at ten.”

“Do you do laps or whatever on the day of the competition?”

“Not usually.”

“Do you want to fuck your nerves away?” Levi asked, completely serious.

Erwin laughed through his nose. “Although that sounds wonderful, it probably wouldn’t do. I don’t want to be tired before a race.”

“You’re meant to be a fucking athlete. That doesn’t bode well,” Levi joked, though his tone and face were level.

Erwin, aware he was joking, said, “I’m not an athlete in sex.”

Brushing the hair across Erwin’s forehead, Levi leaned down to kiss him. This kind of tenderness was not something Levi showed to people, but Erwin had been kind to him, and Levi wanted to repay that.

Erwin smiled into Levi’s lips as Levi breathed him in. They were acting a little too domesticated for Levi’s liking.

“Are you training today?” Erwin asked when they had broken apart.

“Probably. Just not for as long as usual. I don’t want to get an injury.”

“So, will you come watch me?”

It was not something Levi had been expecting. They had been fucking for five days, it wasn’t exactly like they were dating.

The thought of watching Erwin wasn’t all that harrowing, but it meant there was something to their relationship, though Levi had trouble classing it as a relationship at all. It might be nice to watch him compete, but Levi felt like this was the kind of request someone made when they were people who were dating. Levi didn’t think that was the case here. They had four weeks together, Levi wasn’t planning on falling in love with him.

And yet he did want to see Erwin swim. He had seen a clip here and there on his feed or on the news when Erwin was making a name for himself. If he missed out on seeing him in action, he would probably regret it.

“You don’t have to,” Erwin said as Levi had taken a while to respond. “It’s only a fifty metre one, I don’t even know why I’m so nervous. If you want to practise, I’m fine with that.”

“No, no,” Levi responded. “I’ll come. How many Heats will there be?”

“A lot. Fifty metres freestyle is a popular one,” Erwin said, sounding defeated.

“You’ve been dominating the sport for how long now?” Levi asked. “Why are you so nervous?”

“Expectations.”

Levi understood that concern. Levi had a lot of expectations weighing on him as well. These were his second Olympics and the only reason he hadn’t won any Golds at the last Games was because of his inexperienced team and because of the weight of expectation. There was also the transition of being under a new coach, and so Levi understood how much pressure Erwin was under.

There were even more expectations on him now. Everyone said Souterrain were the team to beat. Levi hoped he did not ruin it for his team. He wanted to be on that Gold podium.

Although he kept telling himself to think positively, it was difficult when that weight was so heavily pressing down upon him. It had been years since it had all happened, he didn’t want those things to affect him any longer.

“Yeah, I know,” Levi sad. “It’s shitty.”

“It is,” Erwin agreed, and he sighed.

“I’ll come,” Levi said, thinking he didn’t want to miss out on the opportunity of watching Erwin perform.

“Thank you,” Erwin said, and the smile he gave made Levi feel warm inside and he pushed that feeling far, far down.

They got up after that, Erwin feeling somewhat relieved, as if he had desperately wanted Levi there. Erwin had to make a detour back to his room to get his things for the Heats and the Final, so Levi went straight down to get breakfast.

No part of Levi wanted to showcase that he was with Erwin, whatever it meant to be with him. Whilst confidently out, a fact so many brought up whenever they could, people didn’t want to know that the athletes fucked during the Olympics. They might have handed out condoms because people in peak physical condition were going to fuck, but no one particularly wanted their faces rubbed in that.

Sure, it was great for gossip and there was much speculation about it on the outside, but Levi didn’t plan on revealing the inner details of who he was fucking to anyone, not even the other athletes. He knew it would be fine if people saw him with Erwin because the athletes were meant to be mix, but he didn’t want to be obvious about what it actually was.

Petra and Isabel were sat at one of the tables in the communal hall, and Isabel waved enthusiastically at him. Levi rolled his eyes but made his way over. Isabel put her fist up, ready for Levi to pump it. Levi just looked at her.

“One of these days,” Isabel said.

“One of these days,” Levi repeated, mockingly.

“You’re up late, Coach.” Petra said. “Something wrong?”

Levi detested the fact Petra called him that, but she didn’t ever seem to get the hint.

“No. I’m not practising today.”

The girls looked at each other and then at Levi.

“What?” they said at the same.

“I’m pretty sure you heard.”

“But the Qualifiers are _tomorrow_ ,” Isabel said.

“I’m glad you remembered,” Levi said.

“What else are you doing today?” Petra asked.

“Relaxing,” Levi said, and he knew how unbelievable that sounded because Levi Ackerman never relaxed. “Any injuries that might be procured today would be awful for tomorrow.”

“Should we all stop, bro?” Isabel asked.

Suppressing the urge to hit her, Levi said, “If you want. I do not control you, Isabel.”

Erwin came into the room then, and Levi’s heart felt like it flew out of his chest and slammed right back into its place again.

He winked at Levi, which made Levi’s cheeks grow hot, making him look down at the table and play with his nails. He did not want Isabel or Petra to look at him blushing. Levi Ackerman was not a blusher.

“So, what are you doing today?” Petra asked, ducking her head to catch Levi’s gaze.

He only brought his head up once his cheeks had cooled. “I might watch some of the events. You know, there is something going on today. I don’t know if any of you happened to notice, but we’re actually at this event called the ‘Olympics’, I don’t know if you caught that.”

“Ha, ha,” Isabel faked. “What are you going to watch?”

“Why are you so fucking curious?”

“Why so defensive?” Isabel asked, something knowing in her tone.

Flipping her off, Levi stood and left the table, the curiosity and confusion plain in both their gazes. Erwin was stood in the line with some other people he was talking to, so Levi presumed they were swimmers from Rose, though Levi didn’t know for sure.

Whilst Levi should have eaten, he didn’t feel like standing in line with a bunch of people who were over a foot taller than him. That was a lot of neck craning, and Levi did not care so much for that. Height might be hot, but neck craning was not.

He waited outside by one of the doors for Erwin. The city was waking and Levi watched out of the window. At the gate that Levi could just make out, there were various security guards where fans were already waiting, hoping to catch glimpses of the athletes they loved. It might have been privacy invading, but Levi had never been a fan of anyone in particular. He had looked up to the gymnasts who had come before him, but he would never call himself a fan of any of them, so he didn’t know what that feeling was like. Most of Levi’s fans were actually very respectful so he didn’t have to deal with what some of the other athletes did, but he wasn’t sure anyone should have to deal with fans waiting at the gates.

Eventually, Erwin came out of the doors, looking somewhat surprised to see Levi waiting for him.

“I thought you left.”

“I said I was going to watch you compete,” Levi said, brow furrowed.

“You didn’t stand with me, I was hurt,” Erwin said, putting a hand to his chest.

“Your nerves have gone then,” Levi said.

Erwin laughed through his nose. “Somewhat. Shall we?”

“What time is the Heat again?”

“Ten. That’s the first one, I’m in the third.”

“Fuck me,” Levi said as they began walking out of the hotel. This was another reason Levi was glad the athletes were meant to mingle because nothing much would happen here except for maybe some paparazzi pictures. There wouldn’t be any speculation about the Games because that just wasn’t something that people did.

The walk was pleasant, the sun rising high in the sky and people coming out to enjoy its warmth. There were lots of athletes about, lots of fans excitedly trying to be discreet as they took pictures of their favourites, and general people looking around at the wealth of this place.

The pool arena was filling up steadily with competitors, coaches, and audience alike when they got there. There was a certain buzz filling the air Levi knew came only with sport and the upcoming competition. That buzz, that excitement was something that made Levi thrive. It was that excitement in the air that made him compete so well, the anticipation willing him on. It was what helped a lot of athletes.

It could also bring out the nerves. That many eyes, watching and waiting, hoping for the best, it was a lot of pressure that could make or break anyone.

They went into the changing rooms, Levi following because he wasn’t sure where else he was meant to go. The seats were booked. Levi didn’t know if it was all sold out, it was a lottery which event the audience got to watch, so it wasn’t always likely everyone was going to turn up to everything, but Levi didn’t want to just sit in any old seat.

The gymnastic changing rooms were different, probably like every changing room was different for every sport. Swimmer’s changing rooms smelled distinctly of chlorine, which Levi loved. He breathed it deeply into his lungs.

Everything also appeared bigger. Levi wasn’t sure if that was the case, but it felt like it very well could be. Whilst there didn’t have to be a regular height for any athlete, Levi typically found swimmers to be taller. Levi, being shorter than most, found that when things were slightly bigger than average, they ended up being _a lot_ bigger for him.

No one looked at him curiously as he entered, but Levi still felt out of place.

Erwin went to his personalised locker and opened it. Levi just waited, looking around and trying not to make eye contact with anyone who was half-naked or even more so.

“Will there be a seat for me?” Levi asked, leaning back on the locker next to Erwin’s and looking up at him.

Erwin nodded. “Yeah. You can have our coach’s seat.”

“Where is your coach?”

“Not here,” Erwin said, casually.

“Why?”

“He says he wants me to be the coach for this team eventually and he thought staying back in Rose meant I would get practice. I don’t entirely know how I feel about that, but it is what it is.”

“It’s not so bad,” Levi said, having experience with being an athlete and a coach.

Erwin smiled before he said, “I’m going to do a few laps.”

“My cue to leave.”

Erwin smiled. “I’m afraid so. I have to change.”

“Into those wonderful speedos.”

“Yes, into those exactly,” Erwin said, smiling but sighing. “They emphasise… a lot.”

“There’s pictures of your bulge everywhere,” Levi said, smirking.

“Yes,” Erwin said, nodding and smiling through the pain. “I love it very much.”

Levi nodded, understanding. The internet was a melting pot of images athletes may not want up for everyone to see. Not only were there images of unfortunate faces pulled because of gravity being no one’s friend, but there were costume slips, bulge pictures, Levi’s scars in every angle and from every shot possible.

Thankfully, those were the only kinds of images that Levi had up on the internet without his will. Well, there were images of him kissing a couple of guys when Levi couldn’t be bothered to be discreet, but that was it. His crotch didn’t show because of the shorts or trousers he wore over his singlet, so he didn’t have to deal with what the swimmers had to deal with. Sure, he would rather there not be any new images of his scars every time he performed, but he had long grown used to it.

Levi straightened himself up and looked Erwin straight in the eye.

“Go,” Levi said. “Win your thing.”

Erwin smiled so softly at him, Levi’s insides practically melted. “Thank you.”

Levi left the changing room, inhaling as much of that wonderful chlorine smell as he could, and went to sit in the seats that were closest to the pool where the coaches and other people of that ilk were meant to sit. Nobody thought anything of it, people not even chancing a second glance at him.

There were a lot of people practising, all in their tight speedos or swimming costumes. Erwin had mentioned that one of his teammates was doing the freestyle events as well, but he didn’t know who to look out for. Their name was something like Hang or Ham or Hamshi, Levi hadn’t been paying all that much attention because the sun had kissed Erwin’s skin and Levi had been distracted by his long eyelashes.

There was an announcement claiming the first Heat was going to begin, so the swimmers in the pool got out, dripping everywhere. Their bodies were in peak condition, of course, all muscle and tone. Levi had trouble keeping himself from being distracted as they glimmered from the water and the lighting.

The cameras followed them, a few television screens set up in the building, but this was not only for them but for those watching from home or outside the building. Some of the swimmers smiled and waved, some of them were talking too intently to their coaches to notice they were being watched by thousands of people. Levi didn’t watch them on the screens but watched from where he was sat, watching as they disappeared into the changing rooms, waiting until it was their turn to compete.

Before the first Heat began, the swimmers came out, goggles on foreheads, caps keeping their hair tight to their heads so they could keep their streamlined nature. They each lined up on their podiums, stretching their bodies, calming their nerves. It may have only been a Heat, but it was important. Any medal they could get was something to cherish, something to be congratulated. Nothing was lesser here, and it would always be something to get nervous over.

It was one of the worst things to just miss the podium, to get fourth. There might be more prestige in getting Gold, but to get any medal at all was something worth celebrating. There should even be celebration no matter where you came because you were at the Olympics. That didn’t mean, however, that people didn’t want to get Gold, and there would always be nerves when it came to wanting to get that.

When the buzzer went, they dived in unison. For the first few milliseconds, they were all trying to pull away from each other, but a few did start to pull ahead. Those that lagged probably weren’t bad swimmers, but they weren’t the best. Only the best could win.

The fifty metres were over astonishingly quickly, they were barely in the water before someone had touched the other end. Levi was amazed at their speed. It was a shame when those that were just as able lagged behind, just a few seconds late. In the Heats, it was all about timing and those few milliseconds could be the difference between qualifying and not.

As the first lot of swimmers waited for their times, looking at the screens, none of their expressions seemed satisfied. Of course, this was because they had gone first and that meant they were the standard to beat. Anything might happen.

The second Heat came and went, some of their times beating the previous round, some of them not. Levi didn’t pay too much attention because he was looking out for Erwin.

When the third Heat arrived, Levi finally became invested. Each time a swimmer came out, Levi’s stomach got tight, and it was disappointment he felt until the fourth swimmer. His heart was a little too set on seeing him, he thought.

Erwin emerged, wearing red, tight speedos, the colour of Rose’s flag. There was a yellow strip around the top, another part of Rose’s flag, and they were very, very small. His body was entirely too revealed, but it was beautiful; hairless and glimmering underneath the water, probably having stepped under the shower before he stepped out. It was lovely, all olive and glistening.

Erwin stood in front of his podium, fiddling with his goggles and cap. He was likely still nervous, Levi could tell. He stretched his arms from side to side, rolling his shoulders in a way that was almost entrancing. There was so very much skin on show, from his thick thighs to the wealth of muscle on his stomach, to the line of his throat and the way his collarbones sat perfectly beneath that throat. There was very little to leave to the imagination and, although Levi had seen it all a fair few times, it was still maddening to see how much of Erwin was on show, for everyone to see.

When they mounted their podiums and got in their diving positions, Levi’s heart found its way to his mouth. For a second, he was envious the rest of the world got to see Erwin’s body, like this, in a beautiful position as he regulated his breathing elegantly. Then Levi remembered Erwin was not his and he had no right to think like that.

The few seconds between them getting into position and before the buzzer sounded were tense. There wasn’t much noise, the air was palpable with anticipation, and Levi’s eyes were on nothing but Erwin and his elegant form.

The second the buzzer sounded, they were in the water. From the moment Erwin entered, Levi knew he was going to get a fantastic time, his mere dive being longer than the others. He was the fucking powerhouse he was named after, he was metres in front of the others within seconds. Seeing this feat in clips was nothing like seeing it in real life.

Whilst Levi understood that feeling of nerves that most people were inclined to feel before a competition, particularly one such as the Olympics, he could not fathom why Erwin had been feeling those nerves. He dominated the pool, no one else stood a chance. It might have only been a Heat, but Levi could see this happening again in the Final. He was fucking fast, there wasn’t a chance any of the others were going to catch up to him.

It was over in a flash, Erwin touching the wall many seconds before the others. As most athletes didn’t give it their all until the Final, Levi wondered just how fast he would be then.

As Erwin waited for his time in the water, he pulled off his cap and ran his hand through his hair, moving his goggles to his forehead. Levi watched him on the screen as he was a touch far away now, and his eyes were so immensely blue, enhanced by the water, and Levi’s stomach lurched towards him.

His time of 21.52 seconds was the fastest so far and, despite that securing his place in the Semi-Finals, he merely nodded and seemed satisfied with his time. Personally, Levi thought he should be proud of himself, but what did Levi know about swimming?

There were cheers and clapping and, as Erwin pushed himself out of the pool, he smiled at the camera. There were more cheers and clapping after that as if Erwin was one of these heartthrobs that sent the fans wild. Levi didn’t know much about Erwin’s fanbase, but if one smile caused that much of a ruckus, it was probably quite avid. Levi wasn’t sure if he blamed them; he was good looking and his body was entirely on show, glistening from the water, dripping wet.

The Semi-Finals would be happening during the evening and, as Levi knew for sure Erwin would be there, he thought it best to get some of his own practice in during the wait. It would keep him focused, his mind always wandering to Erwin.

Levi made his way over to the gymnastics building knowing the trampolining would still be going on. Souterrain had a block for practising that Levi would make it for, but he had missed some of the time, so he knew he might not get to practise on every piece of apparatus. It would be fine, though, Levi didn’t want to push himself too much today anyway, he wanted to be in peak condition for the Qualifications.

Inside, his own team were in there, Isabel and Eld practising on the rings and the parallel bar respectively, so Levi went over to his team so he could stretch himself.

“You finally decided to join us,” Farlan jested, and Levi ignored him, easing himself into his splits. “Where’ve you been?”

“Busy,” Levi said, pressing himself lower, knowing that he wouldn’t get much in today. He knew he had practised enough, knew that what he had pushed himself through before would be enough to get them through Qualifiers. It meant he felt unconcerned about anything extra he could get in today.

In the end, he only got some time in on the rings, the horse, and the uneven bars. It was good he didn’t push himself, so it would have to do.

However, it did mean that the idle time spent watching his team, critiquing them, or waiting for something to free up, he was thinking about Erwin, and he just couldn’t explain it. It was only sex, sex that Levi promised himself he wouldn’t get distracted by. They might have shared a couple of meals, but it didn’t mean anything. They weren’t a thing. Levi didn’t intend to take him to events or on dates, it wasn’t anything like that.

And yet he was thinking about him, wanting his company, wanting him in its basest form. Seeing him perform hadn’t helped that. He kept glancing at the clock so he knew what time he should leave, to see him compete again, to see _him_ again _._ Their block of practice would have another hour left, but Levi didn’t want to miss out on it. He did not care for these inexplicable feelings, but they were there, and they weren’t leaving.

When the Semi-Finals were only half an hour away, Levi bid his confused team goodbye, and left. He knew they were watching him, curious, but he wanted to be there for Erwin. It might not be the Final, but he wouldn’t be able to be there for Final as that was tomorrow, and that clashed with his own Qualifiers. The Semis were important too, and Levi wanted to watch Erwin as much as he could, for a reason he couldn’t entirely explain. Maybe it was because he wanted to reward himself for his hard work, maybe it was for something else.

Instead of going to sit back in the coach’s seat, Levi went up into the stadium seats and chose an empty one. It was a touch busier than it had been during the Heats, but it wasn’t exactly like it had been empty before. Swimming was a popular sport and Levi couldn’t imagine many were disappointed if that was the lottery ticket they had been given.

There were two Semi-Finals and Levi didn’t know which one Erwin was in. Levi could feel the nerves in the air, the swimmers hidden for a moment.

The fans were excited, some of them chanting names of swimmers and countries though Levi couldn’t work out what was being said. He thought he heard ‘Rose’ and ‘Powerhouse Smith’, which made Levi feel oddly proud.

Erwin was in the second of the Semi-Finals and Levi was content to wait. Although he didn’t spend much time watching swimming, he did enjoy the sport, it was very elegant. Well, except the butterfly. Everything else was elegant. The butterfly was… that was something else entirely.

Hanji, whose name Levi only remembered when he had the trigger of their name on the board, was in the first Semi-Final. They were in lane three, and they received plenty of cheers when they emerged. They were frantically waving as the camera followed them, eyes and smile wide. Erwin had mentioned they were a fantastic swimmer, Levi was just overwhelmed by how manic they currently looked.

Once they were each in position, they were told to get on their marks, and they all stepped up to their board. Hanji stretched, swinging their arms about wildly. Levi got the impression they did everything wildly, so he didn’t question it.

When the buzzer sounded, they dove in faster than Levi could follow. Levi could see that Hanji was, indeed, a good swimmer. Whether they were better than Erwin or not, Levi wasn’t sure. He likely thought not, but he supposed he would be able to compare them when it was Erwin’s turn to swim.

It was over quickly because it was such a short race. Once again, none of them knew if their time would get them into the Final because there were another eight swimmers to attempt the race. It was close between them all, milliseconds between them. Hanji was up there as the second fastest. Erwin had said it could always be a millisecond that was the difference between Gold and Silver, and those kinds of numbers were something Levi had dealt with before. Sometimes the gap was massive between gymnasts’ scores, and sometimes it was tiny.

There had been so many times where it was a mere few points, a point one or a point three, that made one gymnast a champion and the other relegated to second. Whilst Levi told himself there was just as much worth in second place as there was in first, being drilled into thinking it was first place or nothing had had its affect over the years.

If he had ever been beaten out of first place by those tiny margins, he would never forgive himself. Those competitions haunted him, he could remember them now and he always would. It was those ghosts that made him want to do better, but it also made him fear failure, dread it. There was a fine line between failure being a motivator and being crippling, and Levi treaded that line often.

The swimmers got out the pool and the next lot were called out. Each country and swimmer got a cheer, and Levi felt Erwin’s being the loudest. He was in the fourth lane again, and Levi’s stomach flipped just from hearing his name called.

He was wearing his cap and goggles again, his speedos just as tight as before. Levi watched as he smiled at the camera and then walked to his podium, stretching his body and his arms. Once again, Levi was overwhelmed by just how much skin was on show, glistening under the lights and the water. It made him shine, glimmer, all eyes drawn to him.

Or maybe that was just the way Levi felt, he didn’t know for sure. The screaming and cheering probably indicated a lot of eyes were on him, however.

They stepped up to their podiums and were told to get on their marks. Levi watched Erwin acutely, felt the thrum of the excitement as it pulsed through the room. Erwin’s breathing regulated, his stomach moving elegantly, eyes focused only ahead of him. Levi wondered what world Erwin entered before he swam. It had to be one of calm, one of focus, and Levi could feel that serenity radiating off him, that focus that only athletes had.

As the buzzer sounded, Levi found himself gripping his seat until his knuckles went white.

From the dive alone, Erwin was ahead of the other swimmers. As they swam the length of the pool, some gained on Erwin, but there was no way they would catch up. Erwin had this, he dominated the pool, owned the water, there was no way anyone was going to catch up to him with the speed in his body as he swam.

When Erwin touched the other end of the pool, there were seconds between him and the swimmer in second. It didn’t sound like a lot but, in swimming, the seconds meant everything. Even without the times on the board, Levi knew Erwin was going to the Final.

Across the two Semis, Erwin had the fastest time with 21.32. But, again, Erwin looked merely satisfied. Levi thought he should be radiating pride, but maybe that just wasn’t the person he was. The news and the media had a thing for commenting on Levi never looking pleased with his results, but he never showed much emotion. Erwin was the kind of person who showed pride, but he wasn’t doing that right now.

When they got out of the pool, Erwin said some words to the other competitors, going even to those who had not qualified. The interviewers, for there were plenty down there by the pool, grabbed the swimmers for a quick chat before the Final tomorrow.

As Levi was not close enough to hear what was being said, he looked at one of the many screens, looking for the one that was intended for the Rose viewers as Erwin was their pride and joy right now. Thankfully, the subtitles were in Common and not Rosen because Levi wouldn’t understand a thing they were saying otherwise.

The interview asked Erwin how he was feeling, and Erwin answered with:

_Good. I’m glad Hanji’s there with me. It’s great being able to represent Rose in the Final._

_Are you nervous?_ Levi read, thinking this was likely the interviewer asking now.

_Of course._ Erwin smiled. It was very overwhelming to see it on such a large screen. _But I’m hopeful we’ll get something._

_Can we expect an Olympic Record?_

Erwin’s smile grew wider.

_You do hold the World Record for all the freestyle except for the two-hundred metre and the fifteen-hundred metre,_ the interviewer continued, _can we expect Olympic Records then at the least? Perhaps even some World Records too?_

_I would love to be able to tell you, but it all comes down to the day._

_I look forward to it, Erwin._

_Thank you._

_Good luck tomorrow._

_Thank you,_ Erwin repeated, and he left to enter the changing rooms, but he spotted Levi up in the stands and he stopped. He smiled and gestured for Levi to follow him. Levi, hoping no one was watching this exchange, stood and went through to the changing rooms.

“I thought you left,” Erwin said, smelling so strongly of chlorine Levi wanted to fuck him right there.

“I did,” Levi said. “Then I came back.”

“Was it too boring?” Erwin asked, and although he was joking, Levi could sense the worry in his tone.

“No,” Levi answered. “I just only wanted to watch your races, I didn’t care for the others.”

“That’s very sweet of you,” Erwin said, and he seemed genuinely touched.

Levi could feel his cheeks beginning to burn so he cleared his throat and looked the other way, coming to lean beside Erwin’s locker as Erwin rubbed himself with a towel.

There were a lot more swimmers in the changing room now, the chlorine prominent. He breathed in deep, soaking in the glorious smell of cleanliness.

“Do you want to go out for dinner tonight?” Erwin asked, placing his goggles and cap in the locker.

“In public?” Levi asked. Being out in public at night would cause speculation, and Levi did not need that when he was trying to win Gold for him and his team.

“Is that a no?” Erwin asked, and he didn’t seem dejected. It still made Levi feel guilty, however.

“I just don’t want to be seen, is all,” Levi explained.

“Okay,” Erwin said. “Let me shower and we’ll figure something out.”

Levi nodded and went to sit on one of the benches to wait. Erwin took long showers, but Levi was okay with that. He watched the other swimmers as he waited, admiring their builds but trying not to ogle them.

When Erwin came out, wearing regular clothes, hair still damp, Levi found him strangely more attractive than when he was almost naked and glistening because of the water. His shirt stuck to his body, and Levi could clearly see the indents and lines of his torso, and although he had seen them bare many a time, he was more drawn to him now than when he had been when they were naked, lying in bed, covered in their sweat.

He smelt a lot less like chlorine, of coconut shampoo and lavender bodywash, and Levi breathed that in as well. He stood when Erwin came over to him and tried to hide the lust in his eyes.

Erwin smiled at him, pulling his bag onto his shoulder. “Ready to go?”

“Where are we going?” Levi asked.

“Your room?” Erwin offered. “We could order something in.”

“How romantic,” Levi said, rolling his eyes. Then he realised what he said and felt his stomach drop.

“Do you want it to be romantic?” Erwin asked, brow furrowed.

Levi shrugged and started walking, knowing Erwin would follow him. “You can fuck me on a bed of roses when we both have Gold medals.”

Erwin laughed, it going to straight to Levi’s stomach, and they made their way back to the hotel. They made a stop by Erwin’s room so he could drop his things off and collect some clothes, and then they went up to Levi’s room. They ordered Chinese, and the wait wasn’t too long, thankfully.

Levi was adept with the use of chopsticks, but it turned out Erwin was not. He struggled profusely, and Levi found it incredibly comical. Erwin had just qualified for an Olympic Final, and he couldn’t use chopsticks. It amazed him.

“Stop judging me,” Erwin said, throwing a glance to Levi who was trying not to smirk.

“Powerhouse Smith can’t use fucking chopsticks.” Levi tutted.

“We can’t be famous for everything.”

“If you were famous for using chopsticks, I’d be very confused,” Levi said, using his own with ease, almost showing off.

Erwin gave up with his chopsticks and started using his fingers.

“Have some fucking decorum,” Levi chastised, feigning disgust.

“When there are no cameras around, I can do as I please.”

“Just you wait till I release that you eat like a savage to the press.”

“I really don’t think anyone would read that.”

“I’ll add something else to spice it up, like you like to be called Little Bitch when you fuck as well.”

“That is so oddly specifically,” Erwin began, emphasising each word, “that I almost feel like you can’t make that up, and so it must be a kink of yours.”

Levi flipped him off and put his box down, finished with his meal. Erwin still had a bit to go, so Levi just waited, watching with an odd fondness in his heart.

“Your Qualifiers are tomorrow, right?” Erwin asked.

Levi nodded. “I would come and watch but-.”

“No, it’s okay,” Erwin interrupted. “I’m not offended, you have to qualify.”

“Is it at night or in the afternoon?”

“Night.”

“I might be able to come over,” Levi said. “But I don’t know. I don’t want to promise anything.”

“That’s okay. I’ll come and find you if you’re not there.”

Levi nodded and Erwin smiled at him, Levi’s stomach going round and round and round. Erwin finished and Levi did not hesitate in crawling forward across the bed and into Erwin’s lap. He wrapped one arm around Erwin’s neck and the other went to Erwin’s hair.

“Would you like me to congratulate you?” Levi asked, wrapping a strand around his finger.

Erwin brought his own hand to Levi’s, removing it from his hair, and pressed his lips to Levi’s palm before saying, “I haven’t won anything.”

“You will,” Levi said, Erwin continuing to press sloppy kisses to Levi’s palm.

“Let’s not jinx it,” Erwin said between kisses, Levi’s heart melting.

“Okay then,” Levi said, beginning to withdraw even though he was dying from how gorgeously domestic the situation was. “I won’t congratulate you.”

“No, no, no,” Erwin said softly, pulling Levi back into his lap and kissing his palm again. “You can congratulate me.”

Levi smirked as Erwin wrapped his hands around Levi’s waist, pulling his body closer.

Levi had been and gathered as many condoms as he could carry, and he had used many with Erwin and he expected to use them all and more by the end of their time together, though Levi found he didn’t want to think about their time ending. Levi leaned over to his bedside table, still being held in Erwin’s arms the way he wanted, and pulled out the square packet alongside the lubricant Erwin had stored there.

Stripping in this position was difficult. Whilst it meant being closer to him than he had been before, it didn’t make undressing any easier. The shirts were fine, discarded across the room which usually made Levi furious, but after having seen Erwin perform, he wanted him, and he forgot about creases for the moment.

The trousers and underwear were more difficult. They managed with some shuffling, but Levi made sure he came right back into the position of sitting in Erwin’s lap, their cocks rubbing as he sat with his legs over Erwin’s thighs.

His bare, tanned skin being this close was intense. Being able to set his mouth and hands to it in a way he hadn’t been able to before because he had either been on his back with Erwin too far away or on all fours with Erwin behind him was mad. It was intimate, more so than Levi thought he would ever be getting at the Games, but he was enjoying it. He wanted it like this.

They frotted for a moment, Erwin keeping his large hands around both their lengths and rubbing them together. Levi set his mouth to Erwin’s shoulder, knowing he wasn’t allowed to bite because that would cause quite the stir when he was seen with marks in the morning, but he kissed and breathed heavily over him, absorbing the feeling of their cocks rubbing together. Erwin’s hand was so warm and in control, setting the rhythm and moving his hands over the stretched and hot skin of his cock.

Erwin set his own mouth to Levi’s neck, leaving hot and heavy kisses. He couldn’t mark him either, not with the Qualifications tomorrow, but this was enough for the moment. His neck wasn’t as sensitive as other parts of his body, but he would never pass this up. His hot lips on his neck and his hot hand around his cock were gorgeous.

When Levi started rutting without much control, Erwin stopped rubbing their cocks together. He took the condom and the lubricant, rolling the former down his giant cock and then coating himself in lube. They had to adjust themselves for a moment so Erwin could press his cock into Levi’s opening, but the sensation it caused, to have Erwin inside him in this position, it was worth it.

It meant the work was mainly on Levi, his hips having to find the rhythm, his body trying to find a way to keep Erwin’s cock inside him, but Erwin’s large hands keeping Levi in place was helpful. It still felt like Erwin had the control, and Levi found himself getting off on that.

It was a slow rhythm they found, but it was pleasant. Levi touched as much of Erwin’s body as he could, his hands going to his hair, nails digging into his back. Even though he knew he shouldn’t, with Erwin’s kissing into his neck, he couldn’t help it. He wet the spots and then kissed them, his hot breath sending his nerves wild. Levi could barely control the noises that left his lips.

Erwin pressed deeper inside him, Levi feeling every inch as they moved in and out of him. Levi worked his thighs and hips to continue having that feeling, but it made him ache and sweat. It was rewarding, Erwin’s size was greatly appreciated by his cunt, and Levi wanted it over and over.

Given how tired it made his body, the pressures inside him built quickly. Levi could usually last quite a while during sex, he could stop himself from coming, come twice sometimes, but positions like this made it more difficult. It made his body more reactive and part of him wished Erwin wasn’t using both hands to keep Levi in rhythm because he wanted him to play with his nipples. Both of his hands were in use, one keeping him in rhythm by holding onto Erwin and the other was going down to his cock to start rubbing himself. He was getting enough pleasure, but it would have been tenfold had any attention been spent on his nipples.

He stroked himself in the slow rhythm they had set, his wrist moving leisurely up and down his length. Instead of kissing Erwin’s shoulder, he just pressed his forehead against him, his mouth busy with curses and pants. His eyes were shut tight and he just kept rubbing himself, pushing his body up and down on Erwin’s cock.

It didn’t take him long to come, spurting over his hand and onto Erwin’s stomach. He kept rubbing himself, wanting the extent of the orgasm as it ran through his tiring body. He kept pumping his cock, the white liquid continuing to shoot from his slit.

He didn’t stop fucking himself on Erwin’s cock despite becoming sensitive. He wanted Erwin to come too, he wanted Erwin’s orgasm that he deserved. He pushed himself up and down still, contracting his cunt and encouraging Erwin to come, to release inside him.

As Erwin came, filling the condom, he pressed his forehead onto Levi’s shoulder, hips bucking up into Levi. Levi panted, stroking through Erwin’s hair with the hand that wasn’t riddled with come. Domesticity filled him because this was not something he usually found himself doing. The noises Erwin was releasing from his throat, however, were delectable, and Levi was proud he could pull these things from Erwin, from their fucking. He kissed into his hair and swallowed, wondering at how changed he became when he was with him.

The loss was immense when Erwin pulled out, and it was awkward and clumsy removing themselves from each other because their limbs were rather useless, but they managed it somehow. Then, even though Levi wanted to shower and get the smell of sex removed from his skin, all he did was wipe over his body and then, tenderly, wipe down Erwin’s as well, and then he climbed into bed. Erwin climbed in afterwards, and they held each other, skin on skin, bodies exhausted, and qualifying on their minds.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They ordered Chinese, but I'm not even sure that China exists in this universe. What a wild predicament we are in.
> 
> On a more informative note, as I'm leaving the country for a few weeks, I'm not going to be able to update this fic until Saturday the 20th of July. I do feel like such a tease, posting three chapters and then disappearing for almost a month, but those are the circumstances that I am in. I promise that this fic is not being abandoned, I will be returning to it, it's just going to be a few weeks until the next update, and so I thank you for your patience, and I will see you when I get back x


	4. My Darling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have returned at long last! I hope you enjoy the chapter and thank you for your patience x

The next morning, they awoke at a similar time. It had to have been their nerves for Erwin had a Final and Levi had the Qualifiers. Both were important, and they both had nerves running through them.

Levi had slept just fine, better than he had ever since he had arrived in Mitras, and waking in Erwin’s arms was a pleasant way to wake. It didn’t take away the nerves, but it was nice. His body ached a little, but he would get rid of that with his stretching and the other form of working out that he would be doing today that did not mean sex.

Once he had been awake for maybe five minutes, thinking that was enough time for his body to wake, he sat up. He hadn’t known Erwin was awake until Erwin moved off the bed and stood.

Levi watched him as he stood in silence for a moment, staring out of the window where they had forgotten to close the curtains again. Levi hoped no paparazzi had cameras good enough to peer through windows because they would get quite the sight each night if they looked into their room.

It was obvious how nervous Erwin was. It was probably because it was his first Final, and this could impact how he performed for the entire Games. It was either going to be a confidence booster, or the complete opposite. Levi had seen him perform, he was faster than everyone else, but he understood those nerves. The pressure was immense, and Levi would never say Erwin was acting ridiculously, because he wasn’t.

Levi showered, Erwin joining him just as he got out. There wasn’t anything sexual in it today, both their minds on other things. Whilst Levi would always be attracted to Erwin’s gorgeous body, Levi’s mind couldn’t be there today.

They dressed, Levi packing his things in his bag, and then they went to leave, but Erwin asked him to wait.

“Are you going straight over?” Erwin asked.

“Yeah. There’s a lot of qualifying teams, it starts early.”

“When is the Final?”

“The Team Final is in two days,” Levi said. “The other Finals come after.”

Erwin nodded. “So, you’re going now?”

“I’m grabbing breakfast to go.”

“Okay.” Erwin paused. “Good luck.”

“And you.”

Erwin leant down and Levi leant up and they kissed, slow, nothing heated about it. It was different and domestic, but it was reassuring.

When they broke apart, they left the room and went their separate ways, not likely to see each other until the big events of the day had passed and the results were out.

In the gymnastics building, there were a lot of people already there, some gymnasts, some fans filling the seats. The buzz in the room made Levi’s stomach do flips, different to the ones he felt when he was with Erwin. He shook the nerves out of his mind and headed over to where his team already were.

Petra nodded at Levi as he approached, Isabel waving frantically, making Levi want to slap her. Farlan was also there, talking to Eld.

The buzz of nerves were playing at Levi’s skin, but they would be fine. Today wasn’t the problematic day. They would get through to the Team Finals and Individual Finals and Event Finals, he was sure of that. He just wasn’t sure how well they would do on the Team Finals day. But he was trying not to think like that. A positive mental attitude was key, and although he rarely ever had that mentality, he had to pretend he did. That was the way he was going to get through it. Hopefully.

Levi looked around at his opponents, knowing those from Stohess, and nodding at them from across the room. He had performed with Oluo and Gunther for years and they were great gymnasts. He didn’t know the rest of their team very well, but with those two leading them, Levi was sure they would place well today.

He knew a few of the others from being in competitions over the years, but he wasn’t exactly friendly with any of them. Even though he had performed with Oluo and Gunther, he would still struggle to call them friends. That wasn’t because they were bad people or because Levi didn’t care for them, it was just because he didn’t socialise well. Out of his own team, he would call them friends, but he would still struggle to actually say those words. They weren’t ever things he had been raised to say.

There was also the fact Levi had never seen the point in worrying about other people, about other competitors. What they did was up to them, and Levi focused on what he could do, not with what he had to compete with.

The floor around the centre was occupied with gymnasts stretching and calming their nerves, eating and drinking too. Their performance today would impact the rest of the Olympics for them. If they messed something up, if they didn’t perform well enough, their time was up, they would have nothing else to compete for.

That was one of the reasons being a part of a team was so intimidating; you weren’t just competing for your own chances to get a medal, you were competing to get the rest of the team there as well. Only a few scores were taken, but if you brought the team down with a shitty score, then guilt was the residing emotion until four years passed and you could redeem yourself. Levi felt that weight more than anything else.

Levi started stretching as the rest of their audience filled the room, making his body limber and lithe. He knew the cameras were already on him and the rest of the gymnasts, and he kind of wished they weren’t. Stretching was not the most exciting thing to watch, which meant there would be commentary. That commentary would lead to expectation which would lead to excitement, and Levi did not want any more of that. He already had his own pressures, he did not need any more weight. But it was always there, and it always would be.

When Levi was satisfied with his stretching, he zipped up his Olympic jacket and sat down in Souterrain’s designated area. As there were so many countries competing, it was split into two days of Qualifications, and Levi was glad their team was on the first day. He preferred setting the standard rather than having to beat it. He liked not knowing what he had to beat, that made him calmer, somehow.

They had ten minutes before it started. It was a long day of qualifying, all seven apparatus being performed on over hours and hours to allow every single member of every team to get their chance to shine. At least there was time to relax after each apparatus, Levi was going to be thankful for that. The routines weren’t easy to perform, they were difficult because that was how they got great scores, so relaxation at any point during the day was a necessity.

Levi wrapped his hands in the bindings, tightening them so they would give him the best support. He unzipped his jacket and put it on his chair, trying to fill the time. There was chalk everywhere, and Levi slapped some onto his hands. It gave him something to do, something to fiddle with so he wasn’t so focused on what was about to happen.

Then all Levi could do was count down the seconds on the board, Levi being one of the first seven gymnasts to perform. His first apparatus was the vault. Levi had always hated the vault, and he always had to do it twice in Qualifications to qualify for the Event Finals. It was his weakest one, but he didn’t hate it because he was weak at it; he hated it because so much of it was down to chance and luck. Mess up the run and everything else was done for too. With the apparatus like the rings and the bars, if you messed up one thing, you could recover. You could never recover with the vault.

There was some announcement Levi blanked out, focused purely on the vault and his jump and the turns he would be performing. He had practised it a thousand times and more, he could do it. He could.

He was called up to the vault, some applause sounding after his name, Levi nodding at the camera because he had to pretend he didn’t hate being in the public eye. The other names had already been called but, again, Levi blanked them out. He didn’t care about his opponents. He didn’t mean that in a malicious way, he appreciated their skill and he could converse with them but, during the competition, they were just bodies on the apparatus and nothing more.

After slapping more chalk onto his hands and rubbing it in, he let the powder disperse in the cloud around him. Some of the other gymnasts had already started on their apparatus, but Levi would take his time. The vault was over quickly, and it could go wrong just as quickly. It wouldn’t, Levi wouldn’t let it, but there was always a chance. Having to do it twice in Qualifications doubled the chance it could go wrong, but he wasn’t going to think about that.

There were cheers from beside him, indicating that someone had done something well, but he had to blank that out. His focus was on the vault, not on how well the others were doing.

Rubbing his hands together once more, Levi took a deep breath and started running. His focus was on the vault and only the vault, nothing else existed in the moment except for him, the vault, and the landing mat. The audience were muted, he cared not about the judges watching, he ignored the expectations of his team, it was just the vault. It was silent, the only sound he could hear were his feet as he ran and his controlled breathing.

His first vault was officially named a handspring front straight salto with full twist, but Levi thought the official names could be boring, and they meant nothing to people who didn’t know gymnastic terms.

His run was good, he got up his speed, and the jump from the springboard was satisfactory as well. He would never say anything he did was perfect, because that just wasn’t the kind of person he was and he thought there was always, _always_ room for improvement. Everything he did was either good or bad. That kept him grounded.

In the air, he kept his legs straight and flipped and flipped, arms tucked in and letting his momentum carry him. He breathed in. He kept focus. He performed.

His landing wasn’t perfect, but he stayed in the landing zone, there was only a short stumble to keep himself up. It would deduct a few minor points, but he thought it would be okay. It wouldn’t be an exceptional score, not his best, but it would get them through, he was sure of that.

After a few seconds of pause, Levi breathed out and made a half bow towards the judges, going back to his team to wait for the score. Whilst he could relax because that was over, he still had so much to go and he had to perform on it again to get to the Event Finals.

Most of the other gymnasts were still going, the pommel horse empty for a moment before the next gymnast was called up. But Levi was not focused on that; all he cared about was the screen and the numbers that were about to come up. His Difficulty score was already secured, it was just the Execution he cared about.

Added to his Difficulty score, he got an overall of 14.1. It wasn’t the best he had gotten, but, for the vault, he was happy. If he had gone for a higher difficulty, he knew he could have gotten a much better score, but with the vault, he was happier to keep it simpler. He would still be competing for the Event Final, but he didn’t have to go for the highest difficulty to get there.

He had to wait a little while until he was onto the next apparatus; the high bar. In the meantime, he kept an eye on his team, making sure they performed as excellently as they should. He tried not to watch his competitors, they weren’t the focus of today. His focus was himself and, when he wasn’t competing, his team. He was still their coach, after all.

The rest of his team did well on the apparatus they went on whilst Levi waited, either getting average or better scores. Levi would likely get an exceptional score on the bars and the beam, the beam being his all-time favourite apparatus. They didn’t want to peak during the Qualifiers, but they had to do well enough to get to the Finals and qualify for everything else. It was a difficult balance to achieve.

Levi didn’t tend to speak much when they were waiting to compete. The others spoke to each other, congratulating each other and pumping each other up, and Levi paid no attention. Maybe he should integrate more, but he liked to be focused purely on the task at hand. Instead, he would fiddle with his bindings or watch the other gymnasts. Never the scoreboard. He did not want to know how the other teams were doing. It would throw him off.

He did correct his team or congratulate them when they had done something that warranted that. He would give a proper rundown once they had finished. He didn’t want them to be caught up on their mistakes or their successes. He would give them some word, just something, but he didn’t want to bog them down with words. It was the performance that mattered most.

He was called to the high bar, and Petra and Farlan who remained bid him good luck as he went over. He did well on each of the bars, it was the momentum that helped him. He liked feeling that rush as he went round and round, performing it well.

His routines became so engraved into his skull, he usually just had to let his body do it, breathe and let it happen. When he thought about it too much, when his mind was clogged with memories, it made his performance worse. It was so much easier to just let his body go, do what it needed to do, and forget about everything else.

The routine here was only thirty-three seconds long, which didn’t sound like a lot, but it was so limited, it meant there wasn’t a lot of time to show off what he could do. Getting all the points possible in that time, getting the fewest deductions, that was difficult.

Part of Levi was glad he was his own coach because it meant that there would never be any spotting deductions. Sure, it meant none of the team were being spotted at any time, which might usually prove fatal if any of them fell, but none of them had ever fallen during a competition. It wasn’t as if Kenny had ever caught him when he had fallen. Kenny had always taught him that, if he was going to fall, he was going to deal with those repercussions. That had made a whole lot more sense to the public after they had seen the scars on his back.

But that was that. Falls were going to hurt whether you were accompanied or not, Levi felt, and having someone there to help would just get them injured as well. None of his team would fall, but if they did, at least they wouldn’t get spotting deductions.

But he did everything he needed to on the high bar, swinging round, keeping his legs straight, pointing his toes. There was no such thing as perfect, the deductions making that obvious, but Levi did everything within his power to be as close to that as he could. He did his flips and his swings, he kept his handstands level, and, when he did the Ma dismount, he did it cleanly and neatly.

He bowed towards the judges and then retreated to his seat. He was on the uneven bars next and he didn’t have long to wait. He chalked his hands as he watched the scoreboard.

A 15.7 showed under his name, his own face on all of the screens around the room, including all four of the huge ones in the middle. This always jarred Levi, every single time, but he could not exactly look away. He wanted to see his scores, and that came with seeing his own face alongside it.

He nodded, satisfied, and then he was instantly reminded of Erwin, who did the exact same thing even when he was in the lead. It almost made him smile until he realised he was still being watched, and so he nodded again at the camera and put even more chalk on his hands.

The uneven bars went by as smoothly as the high bar, all of his elements as perfected as he could get them. He had his jump down, he had his connections down, and he had his dismount down. Everything he needed to be done was done. It had a high level of difficulty in the highest grades he could manage. All it came down to were those tiny imperfections the judges were acutely watching for.

For that, he got a solid 16.1, which received a round of applause. It wasn’t the highest of the day, but it was a good score. And he was sure his beam would get the highest score. If he was honest, he was rather proud of his achievements on the beam, he might not admit that to another living soul, but he often thought it. He had broken records with his beam score and he still held the World Record, which he had broken at seventeen and held to this day. He didn’t have the Olympic Record, but maybe he could get it this time around. He wouldn’t hope for that, but he could consider it.

The rings, parallel bar, and pommel horse scored him 16.2, 16, and 15.9 respectively, all solid and respectable scores. His team were doing just as well, a couple of them getting higher scores on the vault, which Levi was more than fine with. If he couldn’t get the highest scores for the vault, his team needed to get better scores so they could still do the best in the Team Finals.

The balance beam was last before he had to redo all of them to qualify for Event Finals. He didn’t think of it like that though, he did not think of it as one thing in a long list of performances. He thought of them one at a time, not allowing himself to be overwhelmed by the volume of performances he would have to do.

Since Levi knew he was famous for his beam performances, he knew there would be a lot of eyes on him, a lot of the cameras too. It was added pressure he did not need, but he had dealt with it before and broken records, so he could do it again and get through to the Finals. He was not attempting to break records today. Maybe he would during the Finals, unlikely on the Team ones because of the issues regarding the day, but he could on the All-Around or the Event Final.

When it was his turn for the beam, he felt a lot of eyes turn to him. It was his speciality, perhaps his dearest love. Whilst he loved gymnastics as a whole, the beam was his favourite. It was one of the riskier ones, not in the same way as the vault was risky, but in a way that meant you were walking and flipping onto a four-inch-wide piece of equipment, and that came with its risks. But Levi loved it.

As he did his E-Grade mount, his cartwheel into a back handspring with half turn and forward walkover, he contemplated just how complicated the gymnastics grading system was. There were ridiculous names, piercing judgements, gradings that accumulated to your Difficulty Score that would combine with your Execution Score. Levi wondered how many more people might enjoy it if it was just a little simpler.

But he had all his elements as mastered as they could be. Again, whilst he would never say anything was perfect, he felt he was pretty close when it came to the beam.

He went for the highest grades possible, wanting his eight highest elements to be the best that they could be. His dance elements, his split jump and his pike jump were connected and flowing. He never paused. He could count the amount of times he had hesitated when in competition on the beam on one hand, that was how rare it was for Levi to hesitate, to pause, to get deductions for delaying.

His scissor leap was performed like a true craftsman, and he felt the audience watching him acutely. There were few things that Levi allowed himself to feel proud about, but he felt proud about this, about the high grades of skill that he could achieve on this piece of equipment.

He took advantage of the length of the beam, moving up and down, flipping and turning, doing his handstands, pointing his toes. He did all the elements required to get his Difficulty Score and he hoped the judges saw that he was doing it as excellently as he could to achieve his Execution Score.

There might have been minor imperfections. He could have done some of his connections better and he missed a couple of toe-point moments, and he didn’t think he would be breaking into the 16s like he had done a few times before, but he was hoping he could get a high enough score. He wasn’t sure what was going to happen on the Team Finals day and he wanted to show the world that he could do this, that he could get a fantastic score on the beam.

His dismount, which started at one end of the beam and involved a back handspring tumbling series before he launched off the other end and did a full twisting double back somersault could have been a touch better. His landing was slightly wobbly but, where Levi’s dismount was lacking was where a lot of other gymnasts put a perfect landing, so he knew deductions would be minimal.

With a small bow to the judges, Levi then returned to his team, only of which Petra was missing as she was performing on the pommel horse. They were all smiles and pats on the back, making Levi think he had done well. He did feel like it was a great routine, that he had performed it well, but he didn’t like ever thinking he deserved 16s. That way of thinking was dangerous. Whether he performed in a lacking manner or whether he had done it near perfect, he focused on not thinking about it until the scores were up, until he knew just how well he had done in the judges’ eyes.

He had oft scored high fifteens before, getting the first sixteen ever after they had changed the scoring system. Most scored low fifteens, which was still incredibly good for the beam, Levi had just perfected it. He knew today was not a sixteen-scoring level and that he would not be breaking his own World Record, but he would eventually. He would make sure of it. It would still get him a high level. His standard for the beam was always the one to beat, that had been the case for years now, and very rarely, if ever, had it been beaten.

Underneath his name and his face on the screen, it read 15.9, and Levi was extremely satisfied. He did not show it on his face, he merely nodded, slightly towards the judges as thanks, and slightly for the audience, slightly more so for himself, pride filling his chest.

It was only when Levi saw the little ‘OR’ beside his score did he realise he had broken the Olympic Record. He often forgot about that aspect, but he was overwhelmed by the cheering and clapping that filled the building.

His team, other than Petra still, hugged him and slapped him on the back, but Levi just accepted it. He wanted to break it again, maybe even break his World Record one day. He was going to perform poorer in two days’ time, his mother’s death affecting him for a hundred different reasons, but he still wanted to do it well. He felt he wouldn’t likely break any records then, but maybe in the Individuals or the Beam Final, maybe then.

A few other gymnasts came to him and congratulated him, Oluo and Gunther included. He shook their hands, nodded towards the cameras that were still on him, and then tried to get back into the gymnastics competition. It was a big thing, breaking a record really did deserve praise, but there was still a lot of competition left before the day was over.

Before he had to compete on everything again, he watched his team, making notes of things they could do better and of the things they did well. He would tell them all these things now, like the way Petra kept forgetting to point her toes during connections on the uneven bars and the way Eld kept letting his legs split on the horse, because the Event Finals were a way for them to get their own medals. They deserved to have the best opportunity to get there and get their own medals, and Levi wanted to help them along, both as their teammate and as their coach.

For a second, as he waited for his next apparatus, he wondered how Erwin was doing. Not only did he have a Final to compete in, but he had another Heat and Final in the one hundred metre freestyle relay. Levi would hopefully get out of the gymnasium in time to watch one of them, to spur him on because he knew how exhausted he must be, but that was still a little while away.

Levi knew swimming was not an easy thing to do, as he supposed all sport that was different to his own was difficult, particularly to someone who was a novice. Levi thought swimming had to be difficult because he could not swim whatsoever. He liked seeing the feats of swimming, but he did have his own thing to do at the moment.

Erwin was probably nervous despite the fact he was so obviously going to win. The relay relied on the rest of his team, but he would definitely win the fifty-metre freestyle, there was not a single doubt in Levi’s mind about that. Erwin was a modest man and he wouldn’t admit he knew that, but Levi did, and he would admit it to anyone who asked, though he wasn’t sure who would ask him about Erwin’s performance considering no one was meant to know they were fucking behind closed doors.

After all their competing was done, they received a qualifying score of 269.275. He was sure this would allow them to qualify for the Team Finals. He was sure all of his event scores would get him to each Event Final also. Isabel had done particularly well, she might have qualified for the Individuals, and Levi, with his score of 90.915 which was the highest for the day, was likely going to the All-Arounds as well. Sure, anything might happen and Levi wasn’t going to say for definite just yet, but he thought it likely. He wanted medals, and he thought he had a chance to get them.

For now, however, as that was in the future, Levi wanted to relax for the rest of the evening and for tomorrow. He wanted, for the moment, to forget about scores and Qualifiers.

The evening had set in by the time they had finished. The audience started to disperse, some of them remaining to try and get autographs and pictures with their favourites. Levi did not remain for two reasons; not only did he not like public interaction, he also wanted to watch Erwin if he was still available to watch.

As Levi packed up his things, pulling on his jacket and zipping it up, the rest of his team did the same, talking excitedly about the day.

“You did amazing,” Petra said to Levi, pulling on her own jacket. “To break that record.”

“I might have peaked too soon,” Levi said.

Isabel shoved him. Levi glared at her.

“Will you celebrate for one moment?” Isabel asked. “This is amazing.”

“Now you hold the Olympic Record and the World Record,” Petra said. “That’s something to be proud of.”

Levi could only nod. Whilst he loved the beam and liked feeling pride for the beam, saying that out loud was difficult.

“You all did well today,” Levi said, not wanting the focus to be on him. “I want us even better on the Team Finals. But it was good today.”

“Gee, thanks, coach,” Farlan said, smiling sweetly. “You’re too kind.”

Levi glared at him also. “I could sit here and tell you each of the things you did wrong as well,” he said.

Farlan shook his head, smiling brightly. “I’m good.”

“Mhm,” Levi hummed. He stood and pulled his bag over his shoulder, taking a drink of sweet, sweet water. The fatigue would kick in soon. Right now, he was still living off the adrenaline of performing, of competing, but it wouldn’t last forever. He wanted to be in Erwin’s company when it did set in.

“Shall we go out and celebrate?” Eld asked “We could grab a bite somewhere?”

The rest of his team said yes, but Levi made his excuses. His team were all used to this behaviour, so they didn’t question it and went on ahead without him. Levi didn’t mind. Just because he didn’t want to go out, he would never stop them from having fun.

On his way over to the pool, he checked for news on the screens that were placed outside the stadiums. He wanted something on the swimming but it took right up until he was outside their building before anything on the swimming was brought up. There was a general rundown of the Final that had happened earlier, and Erwin had, of course, won Gold. Whilst impressed, Levi had known this was going to be the case and, whilst impressive, it had always been a certainty.

There was some reporter on the screen then just after a video of Erwin being given the medal played. He had been wearing his Rose colours, his jacket and trousers a lovely shade of red, the yellow of their flag incorporated into the text, ‘Mitras Games’ that was written on his jacket. There were decorative roses on the jacket as well, which were pretty, and then, with the heavy, Gold medal around his neck, it all looked wonderful, like Erwin deserved to be there. He looked proud and stoic as the anthem played, Levi only knowing that because the subtitles told him.

The reporter said, Levi reading this in Common subtitles, _as expected, Powerhouse Smith dominated the fifty-metre freestyle. He very nearly broke the Olympic Record and came far ahead of the swimmers behind him. We are so expectant of wonderful things to come this summer for Erwin Smith. We are happy to announce that the relay Final will be starting any second now, and we expect more great things from Rose. Let’s head into the room so we can see what’s going on._

Levi didn’t wait around to see that, he just hurried his steps, wanting to get there and see it himself.

Inside the pool stadium, the air was alive with excitement, Levi felt it hit him like a wall. People were already cheering and clapping, so Levi made his way as quickly to the pool as possible.

Another country was announced as Levi reached the poolside, six of the teams already lined up at the podiums, Erwin’s being one of them. He was glad he had not missed it. Making his way to one of the only spare seats beside the pool, Levi sat down, shoving his bag underneath the chair to watch.

Erwin’s team were talking to each other, all of them with their red caps on tight, goggles resting on their foreheads. Levi only knew two of their names, Erwin and Hanji, but the other two were there, lined up and ready to swim. There was some other guy, who was even taller than Erwin, and a girl Levi didn’t know. They were each stretching, readying themselves to compete.

The last country, Jinae, was called out, getting a lot of cheers and applause as they walked towards the eighth lane, lining themselves up when they got there. They were all stretching variously, limbering themselves up, Levi’s eyes drawn to Erwin more than anyone else.

Erwin was stretching from side to side, eyes focused on Hanji who had turned around and was talking to him. Levi found his heart oddly lurching towards him, a sort of warmth spreading through his chest. He hadn’t realised how much he had missed him over the day. It was a pathetic thing to think, so he ignored that. He was here to watch Erwin swim, not feel things for him.

The first swimmers were told to get on their marks and they all stepped up, some of them doing some more stretching, some of them taking deep breaths, some of them still against the tide of excitement lying before them. Levi did not know most of their names, but he watched them all, interested and intrigued by this different sport.

One by one, they all got into their positions, ready to dive. The few seconds before the buzzer went were tense, Levi could feel it even in his blood, the audience silent compared to where they had been roaring and cheering before. Even Levi’s breathing felt loud, so he held his breath, and he waited.

The buzzer went and they dived in, barely making a splash. There were cheers instantly then, some of the swimmers who were waiting cheering on their own teammates. Levi watched Erwin for a second, silent where Hanji was going wild, jumping up and down. Erwin was watching his teammate’s technique, focused and secure.

The girl, who was the first from Rose to swim, was not the fastest in the water, but Levi was sure that could be made up. Levi paid more attention to Erwin than who was in the pool because he found Erwin much more intriguing, still against the wild ways of those around him.

The tall guy had climbed onto the podium, in position, waiting so he could dive in. His teammate touched the wall and, within milliseconds, he had jumped in, his dive much longer than a lot of the others, covering a decent length of the pool. He was much faster than whoever his teammate was, making up for the lost metres between them and the other teams.

Glancing up at the screen because it gave him a better view of the distance between the swimmers, Levi could see they were in about third place so far. Things could always change, but if they kept it up, they would get a medal. Seeing how fast Erwin and Hanji were yesterday, Levi knew they could at least keep the Bronze position. That may have been over a shorter distance, but they had to have stamina, they had to be able to keep it up.

Hanji was on the podium now, ready and waiting. Their teammate was on their way back towards the podium, gaining on the swimmer who was in front of him. Touching the wall, Hanji was in at an incredible pace, picking up on their lost distance.

Before Levi knew what was happening, Hanji was in the second-place position. There were a few metres between them and the swimmer in first place, but Levi was almost certain they would make that up, especially since Erwin had won Gold in the fifty-metre, Hanji having won Silver.

Levi then looked back to Erwin, in position on the podium. He was completely still, completely focused. The only thing moving was his stomach as he regulated his breathing for swimming the two lengths he needed to swim.

Hanji was on their way back and Levi watched as Erwin stilled himself further, securing his nerves and preparing to swim his best. The mere second Hanji’s hand touched the wall, Erwin was diving over them. They had their relay connections perfected, Levi could tell, and he wondered how many hours they had gone over that to make sure they didn’t lose a single second when they had to pass over each other.

As Erwin sped through the water, the first-place position which, the screen told, was currently Sina, was losing their lead. Levi had gripped his seat again, knuckles whitening. Silver was a good medal to get, and anyone should be proud of it, but if Erwin was anything like Levi, and he sort of felt like he was, only Gold would suffice.

His speed was incredible, and he gained on the first-place swimmer in seconds, reaching the other end of the pool a millisecond behind them, the rest of the swimmers well forgotten.

The two held a good fight, but Erwin was faster. He powered through the water, it was such an incredible feat. Levi couldn’t help but watch him. Even if he had come here to watch someone else, he knew his eyes would be drawn to Erwin, the best swimmer here, he had to be with the way his body worked in the water.

Not only did Erwin reach the same level as the Sinan swimmer but he surpassed them, and he just kept going and going and going. Erwin reached the other end of the pool seconds and seconds before the others. The Gold medal, his second of the day, was his, and he so deserved it.

People cheered, people clapped, people screamed. Erwin’s team and the countries who had won Silver and Bronze, which were Sina and Ragako, jumped about excitedly, glad to have gotten on the podium and represented their country. They all shook each other’s hands, congratulating each other.

Even though Erwin had won Gold, he still seemed only satisfied with the result. The rest of his team were ecstatic, Hanji going around, high-fiving and hugging people excitedly. This was his second Gold of the day, and he looked like he had just participated in some egg and spoon race, not an Olympic swimming event. It was almost humorous, but Levi knew, given he were in the same position, he would behave similarly, so he would say nothing.

They were called over for an interview, but Levi didn’t stay to watch. He grabbed his bag and left, going around to the door the Olympians would eventually come out of. He didn’t mind waiting outside. It was nice for the moment of quiet, being able to relax in the humid air of the evening.

But because this was not the Olympic Village, there were fans and audience members walking around as well, and it was no secret which doors the Olympians exited from, the security a clear giveaway. This meant Levi was joined by a fair few members of the audience, hoping for a chance at seeing their favourite swimmers. Some of them clearly thought he was just another fan until they got closer and saw his Olympic jacket and the fact he was Little Levi, a renowned gymnast.

Of course, not all of them knew who he was, not everyone knew everything about every sport, but some of them did. Levi knew fan interaction was an important aspect of being in the public eye, but it was so much pressure. He knew he was not an easy man to get along with, and he didn’t want anyone who looked up to him to be disappointed in who he was after they met him.

“Levi?!” one of them exclaimed with an accent Levi couldn’t place.

Levi nodded at them, trying a smile but knowing it did not suit him.

They waddled over excitedly, some of the others curious. It was probably dangerous to be out, alone, but there was security everywhere and they hadn’t had anyone die because of fans. Yet. Maybe Levi would be the first. He hoped not, he had things to do.

“Could you sign something for me, please?” the one who had exclaimed asked, anxiously, as if worried they might send Levi running off in the other direction. He was speaking in quite broke Common, but Levi understood just fine.

Again, Levi nodded, and he pushed himself off the wall and waited for him to come closer. When he was stood in front of him, he gave him a booklet and a pen, and Levi took it carefully. Just as the fan had appeared to be frightened of scaring Levi off, Levi took the items carefully because he was frightened of scaring him off also.

Other fans had started to gather around, and Levi took a deep breath. It was fine. They were just fans, and it wasn’t like Levi had much else to do.

“Could you sign it to Luke?” he asked.

Levi nodded and did just that. His handwriting was ridiculously messy, but oh well. Luke bounced excitedly, radiating joy as Levi signed this piece of paper.

“I really wanted to get gymnastics to see you,” Luke said as Levi handed the booklet and pen back to him. “I got tennis. Which is fine. But I really hope you win.” He smiled brightly, looking like he was almost shaking.

Levi smiled a little. “Thank you,” he said, meaning it. Having fans’ support was important and Levi appreciated each and every person who did give him their support. He just wasn’t always sure of how to respond to it.

The fan breathed out of relief, smiling widely as they retreated back to the door, a couple of the swimmers coming out, diverting the small crowd a little from Levi.

He signed some more booklets, an Olympic poster he didn’t even know was a thing, and there was even one girl who had a picture of Levi ready, which surprised him. She said she carried it around all the time, Levi being her favourite gymnast, and Levi was very thankful she had said that, giving her a hug when she asked for it as well. He didn’t often hug fans, but she teared up after meeting him, and Levi hugged her to kind of take that moment away, not sure how to deal with someone crying because they had met him.

Most of the crowd went towards the swimmers who were coming out, and Levi stepped out of the way, letting them have their moment. He could see Erwin above the crowd, taller than almost everyone else. Erwin seemed good with his fans, he even posed for pictures, which Levi thought wild. No one had ever asked for a picture with him, probably because he never smiled, and that was kind of what people did in pictures. But Erwin smiled just fine in the pictures he was in, smiling and talking happily with them all, his charisma working for him.

At times, Levi was envious of celebrities who could talk to the people who looked up to them with ease. Levi found any sort of interaction a pain, and he wished he could talk to the people who knew his name when he didn’t know a single thing about them. But he just couldn’t. It wasn’t in his nature.

He did love his fans, he appreciated everything they did for him, the Tweets they sent him, the videos they recorded because they couldn’t believe they were seeing him in person. He wished he could convey that in some way, but it just didn’t come to him as naturally as it came to Erwin. He wished he could chat to them easily, hold a conversation and ask them questions, but it just wasn’t his thing, and he hoped his fans were never disappointed when they met him.

Eventually, Erwin worked through the crowd and was set free from the grips of those who loved him, and he spotted Levi, his gaze softening, a smile forming at his lips.

“Hello,” Erwin said, voice warm and inviting as he approached Levi, hair damp and jacket half-zipped.

“Hi,” Levi said, watching Erwin, his eyes dark.

“Please tell me you haven’t been waiting out here since you finished?” Erwin asked, medals around his neck, resting comfortably on his chest. Their design was elegant and simple this year; they had ‘Mitras’ and the year written on them in an elegant font with a laurel wreath surrounding it.

“No,” Levi said. “Congrats on your medals.”

“Did you watch?” Erwin asked, the two just standing in front of each other, ignoring the fans behind them. If they got photographed, it might send the internet into a touch of chaos, but Levi just liked being there with him, so those thoughts moved to the back of his mind.

“The relay,” Levi said, clearing his throat. “Not the other one.”

“Thank you,” Erwin said, still smiling.

Levi, feeling a weight on his chest, started walking back to the Village, Erwin following.

“Did you qualify?” Erwin asked.

“We won’t know till tomorrow,” Levi said, the warm air of the night doing little for his burning cheeks. “We were the top scorers of the day and there’s quite a lead until the next team, but anything could happen.”

“I’ll cross my fingers for you.”

“Thanks,” Levi said, snorting.

“What do you do tomorrow, then?”

“Nothing. I could go watch the other teams, but I’d really rather not.” Levi yawned, finally feeling just how exhausted his body was, his adrenaline running out. “What do you have tomorrow?”

“The Heat and Final for the four hundred metre individual relay, and the Heat and Semi for the two hundred metre freestyle. There’s also the Final for the one hundred metre butterfly, but that’s not one I do.”

“That’s because it’s a stupid stroke,” Levi said.

Erwin laughed. “Don’t tell that to Mike.”

“Which one’s he?”

“The one who went second today in the relay.”

“The really tall fucker?”

Erwin laughed again. “Yes, that one.”

They reached the Village and went to their building, parting ways once inside to drop their things off in their rooms.

As Levi waited for Erwin to come up to his room, he changed into his sleepwear, hanging up his Olympic jacket and competition gear in the wardrobe. His sleepwear consisted of pyjama pants and a vest, the hotel room being quite warm, particularly with Erwin in his bed.

There was a knock on the door and Levi opened it as the doors automatically locked once they were shut. Erwin quirked his brow when he saw him, a smirk playing at his lips.

“You look cute,” Erwin commented, stepping into the room and shutting the door behind him.

Levi rolled his eyes, sitting down by the table, brewing his tea to wind down after such a taxing day. He yawned again, stretching his limbs, and making strangled noises.

He felt hands come around from behind him, Erwin bending down to rub across his chest. Levi moaned lightly at the contact, pushing back and resting his head on Erwin’s stomach behind him. He closed his eyes and soaked it in, finally relaxing, the weight of the day hitting him hard.

“So, when were you going to tell me?” Erwin asked, voice deep as he played with Levi’s chest, running his hands over his clothed skin.

“Tell you what?”

“That you broke the Olympic Record?”

“It’s not the World Record,” Levi commented, breathing calm with Erwin’s hands on his body.

“Still,” Erwin said. “It’s a pretty big thing to leave out.”

“Mm,” Levi hummed.

“You seem tired.”

“Mm,” Levi repeated.

He felt Erwin laugh lightly by the gentle move of his stomach. It sent warmth through his being, making him cosy and, therefore, more tired.

“Do you want me to treat you?” Erwin asked, voice lustful.

“You’re the one who won two Golds today. I should be treating you,” Levi said, though he was too exhausted to do anything, his eyes unwilling to open.

“Treating you is treat enough for me.”

“Can I drink my tea first?” Levi asked, and Erwin laughed again.

He pulled his hands away from Levi’s body, Levi feeling naked without them. He turned to watch Erwin who had sat on the bed, watching Levi. He smiled at Levi just as the kettle clicked, and Levi turned back to sort out his tea. He offered some to Erwin, but he declined.

As he drank, they didn’t talk much, just sitting and enjoying each other’s company, Erwin checking through his phone as Levi drank. He might have fallen asleep in the chair, tea still in his hands, if it were not for Erwin, keeping him awake. Every time he felt like he might be dozing off, Erwin said something and woke him up.

Erwin’s very soothing breathing did almost send him off a couple of times, but he kept it together. Well, he _tried_ to kept it together.

He did actually fall asleep in the chair, cup, now empty of tea, sat carefully on the table. Although he felt Erwin carrying him to bed, he barely stirred, safe and secure in Erwin’s strong arms.

“Do you want me to go?” Erwin asked, quietly after he had closed Levi’s curtains.

“No,” Levi mumbled, curling up into the sheets.

“Okay,” Erwin said, and he climbed into bed, playing with Levi’s hair to send him off to sleep. “Goodnight, darling.”

“Mm,” Levi hummed happily in response, content with exactly what was happening, even though he was still going to try and ignore it come tomorrow.


	5. Fear

The next morning, Levi awoke with a much lighter head than usual, having slept better than he had in a long time. He could feel Erwin’s arms around him, keeping him safe, Levi feeling protected in his slumber.

As he didn’t want to wake Erwin, Levi remained where he was, listening to Erwin breathing and delicately playing with the skin that was revealed on his arms. Rarely, if ever, was Levi this intimate with people, and he would rarely, if ever, act like this if the other person was awake. It showed a side of Levi he wasn’t all that comfortable with, so he avoided it.

When Erwin started to stir, the light from the morning sun peering through the curtains and illuminating a strip of the room in its bright, waking light, Levi stopped tracing patterns on Erwin’s skin and tucked his arms into himself. Erwin made slight noises from his throat, and Levi’s stomach flipped.

Slowly, Erwin’s eyes opened, his thick, blonde lashes brushing against his cheeks delicately. Levi watched him, something filling his chest he was not accustomed to. Everything was calm between them, and Levi didn’t want that to change.

“Good morning,” Erwin mumbled when he saw Levi was awake.

“Mhm,” Levi said, his voice stuck in his throat because of how beautiful Erwin was even in the morning, for only Levi to see.

“I presume you slept well,” Erwin began. “You were very tired.”

“Yes,” Levi said. “I think I went a little too hard.”

“Well, you do have a day’s rest now, right? That’s good, isn’t it?”

“Maybe,” Levi said, knowing the truth of the matter. He had wanted to go a little harder than he should have because he knew he would not perform so well tomorrow, and he wanted to show everyone he was a good gymnast, and all tomorrow would be was a bad day. Everyone had them, they were just heightened when they fell on the days people had to show themselves off. “But I broke an Olympic Record. People will probably expect that again.”

“Maybe you should have saved it,” Erwin mused. “But I don’t think anyone will fault you. Unless you drop a lot of points tomorrow. But that won’t happen, not to you.”

“Mm,” Levi mumbled, voice stuck in his throat for another reason this time. “What’s your first race today?”

“The Heat and Semi for the two hundred freestyle.”

“And then?”

“The Heat and Final for the four hundred individual relay.” Erwin seemed more nervous about that one.

“You worried you’re going to fuck that one up?” Levi asked, sitting up and stretching his limbs.

“It includes the butterfly,” Erwin explained. “It’s my weakest stroke. I don’t think I’ll get Gold. Maybe Silver, if I’m lucky.”

“Why?”

“I don’t get a lead with the first stroke, and then breaststroke is my next weakest, and so I can never gain enough back, even with the backstroke and freestyle laps. I can gain enough time back, but it’s never enough to get the highest spot on the podium,” Erwin said, sitting up as well.

“You’re nervous about it,” Levi stated, reading Erwin with ease.

“Hard not to be.”

Levi, taking his nerves into account, turned around and climbed into Erwin’s lap, wrapping his arms around Erwin’s neck, knees either side of his hips. Erwin stilled for a moment, trying to gauge what was happening before he then hooded his eyes. He used his large hands to cup Levi’s hips, pulling him closer.

“Do you want me to fuck the nerves out of you?” Levi asked, plain and simple.

“You’re so good at playing hard to get,” Erwin joked. “Where did you learn to be so subtle?”

“Do you want me to or not?” Levi asked, quirking a brow.

“I so do.”

“How long do we have?”

“Long enough,” Erwin said as he started to push the fabric off Levi’s body, over his head, and throwing his vest across the room. He ran his hands up Levi’s back, hairs rising across his body underneath his touch.

Levi had wanted to grab his vest so he could fold it and put it away, but then Erwin was leaving sloppy kisses across his neck and all thoughts of order and cleanliness left his mind. Instead, he focused on Erwin’s tongue and the wet marks he was leaving across his neck and shoulder and chest. It sent blood down to his cock, swelling him steadily.

Levi pushed his hands up Erwin’s shirt, touching his warm stomach for a moment. Then he pushed the fabric over his head and placed it, unlike what Erwin had done, onto the floor beside them. It was such a lovely body that Levi had to run his hands over the skin for a moment. He was so very built, so much bulkier than Levi. Although Levi was pure muscle as well, his build was so different to Erwin, there was so much to him, and Levi’s hands appreciated every inch of him, of his chest and stomach.

As Levi was trying to relax Erwin, he pushed him down by his shoulders, making him lie flat on his back. Erwin seemed content with the act and helped Levi take off his pyjama trousers and waited happily for Levi to grab the condom and lubricant from the table, naked and glowing from the strip of sun coming into the room.

After folding his bottoms, he settled himself on top of Erwin. He would have wanted to blow him, but Levi wasn’t sure just how much time they did have. If they had a lot of time, Levi would have taken his time to suck Erwin’s cock, taking him into his throat and swallowing against him, perhaps even swallowing his semen and then making him hard again so he could fuck himself on his cock. Levi always liked to make his lovers come multiple times, but they did not have the time for that.

Instead, Levi rolled the condom down Erwin’s swelling cock, poured lubricant over his length, and then pressed him inside his cunt. Levi cursed the instant Erwin was opening his hole again, and Erwin moaned, hands coming to Levi’s hips, settling there and helping him find a rhythm.

There was an ache to his body that came from yesterday, from how hard he had pushed himself, but he didn’t mind this extra strain on his thighs. Erwin deserved it, and Levi had the day off to recover. He could work himself to give Erwin this pleasure now.

Erwin was deep inside him for most of their time like this, Levi didn’t have the effort in his thighs to push all the way off and then come back down and take him all in again. He just worked his thighs as best as he could, moving himself up and down, hands planted on Erwin’s chest to give himself extra support. He felt every inch of him, stretching his opening, and Levi moaned against him.

Finding a rhythm was no easy feat, so he had to give Erwin pleasure by contracting his cunt to cause those sensations to run through him, encouraging his orgasm out of him. He moved as regularly as he could, but his aches were prevalent, not helped by the position or the size of Erwin’s cock.

Levi kept his head bowed, hair falling over his face as he rocked up and down on Erwin’s cock. He hissed through his teeth at the size of him pushing deeper and deeper inside his hole. The longer this went on, the less Levi could move up, just taking Erwin into his cunt, barely working his hips as he rested on top of him.

Erwin’s hands were secured to Levi’s hips, encouraging him up and down, but it was so very much to deal with. His body was already aching for release, aching for this strain to end.

He let Erwin come first, his semen warm as it filled the condom, still inside Levi’s contracting opening. Erwin’s hips jerked up into him, filling Levi deeper as he moaned this gorgeous sound which came from the depths of his throat. Both the sound and the action, Erwin gripping him tighter in his orgasm, made Levi moan as well, his throat working as hard as his thighs.

He continued fucking himself on Erwin’s cock, Erwin’s body jittering as he softened. He reached a hand to Levi’s cock, Levi too busy fucking himself and keeping his hands on Erwin’s smooth chest to touch himself.

When Levi came, it was in short, excitable loads over Erwin’s stomach. He coated his tanned skin in his white load, mumbling Erwin’s name as his semen was encouraged out of him, Erwin stroking his cock to encourage it all out of his slit.

It had only been a short fuck, but the reward was the same every time. Levi enjoyed it every time also.

Erwin reached the hand that had not been stroking Levi’s cock up to Levi’s head and encouraged him down so they could kiss. Levi was content to kiss him, breathless and senseless, and orgasm-happy.

They showered together afterwards, not taking too long but still touching each other, helping clean each other. Levi liked touching Erwin’s wet skin, running his hands across the slicked planes of muscle. And having Erwin’s large and warm hands touching him, caressing his skin as they washed each other, that was very pleasant also.

After they had dressed, they went down to get breakfast, sitting on a table full of so many other athletes that it wouldn’t seem peculiar for them to sit next to each other. Whilst Levi was quite content for the world to know they were fucking, he was not so content for the world to know he was feeling something for Erwin, and he was sure that would be obvious from the way he spoke to him.

They walked over to the pool together, Levi soaking up the sun that was high in the sky by the time they left the Village. It was one of the things Levi was most thankful for during the Olympics; it being during the summer meant good weather, and Levi loved sunlight.

He was so used to being cooped up inside a gymnasium, practising until he couldn’t walk, that sunlight almost became a treat. When he could get it, like now, he would soak in it and love it. His work ethic probably wasn’t the healthiest but it was hard to get out of that when it had been drilled into him at such a young age.

Kenny had always taught him that, unless he was aching and bleeding, he wasn’t pushing himself hard enough. Sure, it meant the next day was hell, but Kenny had taught him that was when it was worth it, that the pain was the reward for knowing he had pushed himself.

It was only until he was a teenager, and it was late teens at that, that Levi had thought it was probably wrong. Whilst some of the other gymnasts pushed themselves hard, none of them had been pushed like Levi. Limping home wasn’t right, but he had only realised that after walking back with Oluo, Kenny being drunk for the night.

Even though he had come to realise that was the wrong work ethic to have, he probably still hadn’t cut back enough. There was still the occasional time he limped home and the pulled muscles that could have been avoided. There were times when he should have been out in the sun and yet he was still on the rings, always telling himself it would just be five more minutes and then he would look up at the clock and it would be midnight.

The sun today was a great gift that Levi appreciated more than he could say.

As there were so many races to do today, things were getting started early so the Finals could occur in the evening. Levi went into the changing room with Erwin to wish him good luck _and_ to soak in the smell of chlorine before he took his seat that was close to the pool.

There were a lot of Heats for the two-hundred metre freestyle, and Erwin was in the fourth, so Levi had a lot of swimmers he didn’t particularly care for to watch before he could watch his Erwin swim. Levi was sure Erwin would win again because of how well he had performed before, but Levi supposed something could always go wrong. He didn’t think it would, but if things could go wrong for Levi, things could go wrong for everyone, as that was just human nature.

Some of the times for the swimmers were pretty incredible, and Levi was impressed by their feats. Maybe he was more impressed because he couldn’t swim, because even the people who didn’t have amazing times were still admirable to Levi because they could swim where Levi couldn’t.

However, Levi was the most impressed by Erwin, and he thought that might the case for quite a while. When he came out in his speedos, tight and everything on show, Levi felt his mouth dry. His goggles were on his forehead, and he pulled his cap tighter over his hair, covering his blonde locks from the world. Levi felt this pit in his stomach, but he honestly didn’t know what to do with that information given their weeks together were going to end soon.

He ignored that in favour of watching Erwin pull his goggles down and prepare himself to dive. Levi watched, entranced by his tanned skin and his form as he positioned himself.

The buzzer went and Levi watched Erwin power through the water. It was second nature to him, his arms moving in gorgeous succession, pulling him through the water as his legs propelled him forward. He was captivating to watch, his form perfected, and Levi could understand why he was as successful and revered and loved as an athlete as he was. If Levi were a fan of sport and not an athlete, he was sure he would watch it for Erwin, but maybe that was because he knew him and was beginning to have feelings for him.

Each movement pulled him ahead of the others, and they didn’t stand a chance. Levi wondered why the others even bothered. Of course, they competed because they loved the sport and they wanted to compete, but if they had come in the hope of beating Erwin Smith, they would be dashed every time. Erwin was an incredible swimmer, and Levi admired him for it.

Levi could have easily watched the screen to get a closeup on Erwin’s swimming, but he watched him in the pool instead as he touched the wall and turned. Levi was amazed by his stamina and his technique, and he could not look away. He was beautiful in the water, and Levi envied him for a moment, for being so perfected where Levi felt he was so flawed. If Erwin had a bad day, he would likely still overcome it and win, but Levi’s bad days got the better of him, and he sincerely hoped it would not happen tomorrow, but it likely would. He was thinking about it too much, and he willed himself to stop, but he just couldn’t.

Erwin’s perfect form continued as he touched the wall and turned each time, and he reached the end many seconds before the others. It was only a Heat, so Erwin wasn’t even likely pushing himself as much as he could, and Levi was so impressed by him and the power in his arms. And then he remembered Erwin had held him with those arms, and he had been fucked by him, and he tried not to think about that because he was in a public place, but Erwin’s dripping body when he pushed himself out of the pool was leading his mind to those corners.

It wasn’t too long until the Semi-Finals for the freestyle, and Levi watched idly until Erwin was out again. Of course, it went exactly the same as the Heat, and Erwin dominated the sport. His body was incredible and Levi could watch him swim forever because it was one of the most exciting and fascinating things he had ever seen.

Erwin powered through and he touched the wall so many seconds before the others. It was no surprise to anyone in the room that he broke the Olympic Record, and the Powerhouse Smith fans went ecstatic in the room, cheering breaking out from within the crowd. When Erwin saw that he had this Olympic Record, there was merely a small smile on his lips, and Levi could have laughed. He remembered his own face on the big screen yesterday, and there were many similarities between the two. Levi wondered if he would break it again in the Final.

Obviously, it meant Erwin qualified for the Final tomorrow, and Levi walked through to the changing room to wait for him. There was just something about the feats he conquered at every interval that Levi couldn’t contain this need to see him and congratulate him. He was incredible and Levi didn’t often want to spend time with someone like he wanted to with Erwin, but here he was, doing just that.

Erwin was in the middle of talking to some other swimmer when he entered the changing rooms, and he smiled at Levi before he finished his conversation. Levi managed to wait patiently although he was rather eager for Erwin’s attention.

When Erwin was done, Levi asked him how long before he was swimming again and was told the butterfly Final was now, so he had time and, by some miracle, they snuck into one of the showers that had a door for some privacy. Of course, Levi wasn’t going to fuck him because that would be quite the fucking scandal, but Erwin’s body had been on so much show, how could Levi possibly abstain from him?

Levi pushed Erwin against the wall and kissed him, unable to restrain himself when so much of Erwin was on show. He had pulled his cap off, his wet hair going every which way, and Levi thought he was fucking beautiful. He was fucking gorgeous in fact, and Levi couldn’t believe it really. He kissed him, hard, lavishing in the feeling of Erwin’s damp skin.

Erwin wrapped his arms around Levi’s body and kissed him back, their mouths meeting over and over. Levi would have liked to moan, but it really wasn’t the place for that. Instead, they just moved their mouths over the other’s and kept kissing for a long while.

When they broke apart, breathless, Erwin smiled, though his eyes were thin.

“What was that for?” Erwin asked, still holding Levi in his powerful arms. “I haven’t won anything.”

Levi shrugged. “Just because.”

Erwin nodded, eyes still thin. “Right.”

“You did break an Olympic Record as well,” Levi pointed out.

Erwin shrugged.

“I suppose you should go back out,” Levi said.

Levi went to retreat, but Erwin wasn’t letting go, and Levi didn’t feel like complaining.

“We have a few more minutes.”

They spent those minutes with their mouths connected and hands roaming across each other.

Mike got Silver for the butterfly, and then they were doing the Heat for the four-hundred metre individual medley. Levi took his seat again to watch Erwin in the first Heat, and he could see his nerves in the way he was fidgeting. Levi couldn’t imagine butterfly being his weakest stroke being that much of a problem. A Silver was still impressive, but Erwin’s nerves were so obvious.

In what was clearly a nervous habit, Erwin tightened his cap three times before he positioned himself on the board. Levi was entranced with all the lines and muscles on show. There was such a power to him, Levi couldn’t fathom where his nerves came from.

When the buzzer sounded, Erwin showed the power of those muscles, his dive enormous and well further than the others.

But he did lag with his first stroke. Levi had gotten used to seeing him in first place or at least working himself up there if his team had lagged behind, but that was not the case here. He wasn’t in last place, he was in fifth, and that should not have been the case. Given how strong he was, he should always be in first in Levi’s eyes, but here he was. Levi put that down to the butterfly being the most ridiculous stroke in the world, so he did not blame Erwin for that.

It was odd to see him lagging, being pushed even to sixth on the second lap. It was such a shame, really. One person couldn’t be perfect at everything; Levi, whilst a fantastic gymnast, lacked on the vault, and so he supposed he understood Erwin not being the strongest at the butterfly. But Levi so wanted him to win everything, and it was a shame when he didn’t succeed completely.

With the backstroke, however, he was stronger, Levi could see that. He powered through the water again, not as strong as the front crawl but still powerful, pulling himself up to fourth. As long as he could keep up this lead and then power through the water with the front crawl, he would definitely place. Levi willed for that to be the case anyway. He deserved to be rewarded for the feats he enacted in the water.

He had mentioned the breaststroke was his second weakest and this had to be so exhausting, so Levi couldn’t be sure what was going to happen. Levi could only watch and wait, eager on the edge of his chair.

Breaststroke put him back to fifth place and there was quite a distance between him and the girl in fourth, but Erwin was such a powerhouse when it came to front crawl, Levi knew he would be able to bring it back. Well, he hoped he would. He should given how strong his front crawl was, but he must have been exhausted given how hard he was working himself in the water.

When it came to the final two laps, Levi could see Erwin surging again. The way he worked his arms as he moved into the front crawl as he emerged from his turn underneath the water was astonishing. Levi didn’t see many things that made him feel speechless, but Erwin’s swimming did that.

He was such a powerful swimmer, Levi was amazed by him. He covered the distance between himself and the girl in fourth place, pulling himself within that distance that would get him into third. This was only a Heat and so it all came down to timings, but Levi really hoped he could do it. He so deserved medals and podiums, and Levi really wanted him there. The power in his body was incredible, and Levi felt honoured he could watch him and spend the night with him.

As he continued this feat, he pulled himself into third, but only by the tightest of margins. Again, it was all down to timings, but hopefully it would be enough to put him through to the Final. All they could do was wait.

By the end of the Heats, Erwin had placed. It was nearer the bottom, but he still placed, and that was the main thing to focus on. Levi hoped he was just saving himself and his stamina, but he couldn’t know until Erwin swam. So much of watching the swimming was a waiting game and it pulled the nerves greatly into Levi’s system.

The same thing unfolded in the Final; Erwin was pushed to seventh for the butterfly and, using the backstroke, he pulled it up to fifth. He was going faster than he had done in the Heats, but then so was everyone else, so it didn’t seem like much help. With the breaststroke, he was pushed back into sixth. Levi thought an absolute miracle would have to occur for him to pull it back to even get Bronze. It was a shame, but Levi thought he should celebrate for getting to the Final at all if he didn’t end up placing.

The feats he pulled with the front crawl, it seemed, were endless, however.

As the last two laps came up again, Erwin pushed forward, the power in his legs and arms unmatched. This was even more incredible than the first time he had managed it, there being even more power in his strokes than before.

He pushed past the guy in fourth and, by the time they turned for the final lap, he was in third. Levi knew, then, that he would get a medal, but whether it was a Bronze or Silver, that was the question.

He kept surging through the water, pushing further and further, his arms moving quicker than Levi thought possible. He was incredible. Levi couldn’t fathom it.

By a tight margin, he got second place. It wasn’t close enough that they had to do a replay, but it really could have been. There was only a second in it. It might not have been the Gold Erwin likely wanted, but it was still impressive given the butterfly wasn’t his strongest stroke and he had to do all of them, one after another, and given he had started in seventh place.

It was the first time Levi actually got to see the medals being awarded. It was quite the exciting atmosphere and, after Erwin emerged, having changed into his Olympic gear with his red jacket and trousers, Levi felt almost a pride. None of the Souterrain swimmers had even placed in the Final and Erwin was from Rose, but he still felt pride.

When Erwin stepped up onto the second-place podium and got his Silver medal around his neck, there was an enormous cheer that had Erwin smiling brightly. Although the Orvish anthem was playing, Levi could see the pride in Erwin’s eyes.

As he waited for Erwin to be interviewed so they could go back to the Village together, Levi decided he should probably check the scores for the gymnastics. His team were no longer in the first standing but second, Reiss having replaced them, perhaps the second strongest team in the gymnastics this year. Levi did not focus on the scores however, but on the countries that had qualified; Reiss, Souterrain, Maria, Rose, Sina, Utgard, Rigako, and Jinae, all fine competitors. Levi knew their biggest rivals were Reiss, but their second biggest was the date itself. In fact, Levi thought that might even be his biggest, and he tried not to focus on it, but he could not help it.

It was on his mind as Erwin emerged and they walked back to the Village, it was on his mind as they ate their Indian, and it was on his mind as he congratulated Erwin with sex. He tried to think of anything else, but every thought went back to that, back to the thought of his mother and how much he missed her and how much Kenny blamed him for her death.

But Erwin was being pleasant conversation that evening, Levi lying on his chest and staring out the window as their curtains weren’t closed, and Levi just wanted a simple conversation now. Something simple would be so nice.

“If you have dominated swimming for so long,” Levi began, his cheek resting against Erwin’s smooth chest. “Why is this your first time at the Olympics? You could have done two by now.”

“I know,” Erwin said, his tone slow and pensive. “I don’t know exactly how to explain it, really…”

“You could try.”

Erwin laughed. “It might come off as arrogant, I suppose. And I don’t think I’m an arrogant person.”

“Go ahead.”

“I win a lot,” Erwin said, slowly. “And Hanji and Mike have been here before, and I didn’t want to take away their chance of winning.”

“Wait,” Levi said, pushing himself up and looking directly down into Erwin’s blue eyes. “You didn’t come before because you knew you would win?”

Erwin shrugged. “In a way, but I don’t want that to sound arrogant. I wasn’t sure I would win, but if I did, I was taking away the swimmers from Rose’s opportunity to win.”

“So you don’t care about the other swimmers?”

Erwin laughed again. “It’s complicated. I just wanted to give everyone the opportunity, I suppose.”

“But you took it away from yourself?”

“And you have never done that?”

“Done what?” Levi asked, settling down onto Erwin’s chest again.

“Held yourself back so others might succeed?”

“I was never allowed to do that,” Levi said. “Not that I ever wanted to.”

“Never?”

“Why would you want to?”

“It’s nice to let other people win sometimes,” Erwin said. “If you’re used to it, I mean.”

“But it’s a false-win?”

“Maybe.”

“No, really, it is.”

“Well,” Erwin said, and Levi felt him shrug. “I can imagine you might have done that if, perhaps, you were raised by someone other than Kenny.”

“I don’t know, I have a fear of failure.”

“You do?”

“Yeah.” Levi cleared his throat, getting to that line he did not want to cross when it came to talking about Kenny and his upbringing. “Maybe I got that from Kenny.”

“That might seem likely.”

“Mm.”

“Shall we talk about something else?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” Erwin paused. “How are you feeling about tomorrow?”

“Not that, either,” Levi said.

Erwin laughed, and they spoke about simpler things until they both fell asleep, Levi dreaming of falling and scores of zero.


	6. Fate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't necessarily think any of the violence or gore is that graphic, but I gave it that rating just to be on the safe side. Where that 'violence' comes in is during this chapter, so please be wary if it does affect you x

Levi did not sleep well. Erwin may have been there, he may have been making him feel safe and secure and protected, but it was not enough to protect him from this fucking day and everything it brought back to him. Erwin may have been keeping Levi grounded, but it wouldn’t be enough. Not for today.

Levi woke earlier than Erwin, and he spent that time willing himself to go back to sleep but not being able to. Instead, he stared at various points around the room, wondering why he was so haunted by this shit when it had been fifteen years since she had died and there had been plenty of time to recover from the way Kenny behaved all those years ago. It was ridiculous. On top of all that shameful shit he was feeling, he felt like an idiot for feeling it at all, and that didn’t fucking help.

When Erwin stirred beside him, Levi sat up and turned away, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and resting his elbows on his thighs. He didn’t want Erwin to see him like this but he couldn’t exactly avoid it. Erwin was there and he read Levi easier than he cared for. Particularly right now.

There was a moment of silence before Erwin asked, “You okay?”

Levi was currently taking some deep breaths to attempt some sort of calm, but it wasn’t like it was working or like it could ever work.

“Sure,” Levi lied, not turning to face him.

“Nervous?” Erwin asked, a caution in his voice.

Levi shrugged, unable to say much.

Levi felt the bed shift, Erwin having sat up. He leaned over to kiss Levi on his cheek, and Levi gently pressed into the contact, wanting Erwin to comfort him, but too overwhelmed by the day and what it meant to do much, to say anything.

“What’s wrong?” Erwin asked when Levi’s mood did nothing to improve.

Levi did not answer him. He knew today was going to be a shit day. He felt it in his bones, a dark cloud covering him, his mother’s death forever lingering over him. He wasn’t going to get through today, and he knew it. He felt like such a fucking ass. He should have said something to his team. He supposed, by the time they had qualified for the Olympics, it was too late anyway because he hadn’t known what the specific dates were, so what could he have said? But still, to make his team go through this without even knowing what was about to happen, Levi felt cruel.

Erwin went to ask him again, but Levi went to his ensuite and shut the door before he could speak. He didn’t mean to slam the door, but it had happened all the same.

He showered, wishing he could bring Erwin in but knowing he couldn’t. He had never been able to explain what this day did to him and so he knew he wouldn’t be able to explain it to Erwin who didn’t deserve this weight, this burden. They were only fucking. Erwin didn’t have to know this. He splashed his face with cold water and willed the memories of his mother to leave him alone.

He wasn’t surprised Erwin had left when he emerged from the bathroom. Sure, he would have liked it if Erwin had stayed, but he wasn’t good at asking for help.

Although he was sure he would not be able to stomach breakfast, he knew he would not be able to get through the day without eating something. He forced himself passed the hot food and got cereal instead, knowing it wasn’t as good, but knowing he could eat nothing else. Something was better than nothing.

He saw his team but sat as far away from everyone as he could. There wasn’t really anywhere far he could go, but some distance was enough for his unquiet mind and so he was thankful his team didn’t seem him.

The isolation did not last as Erwin stopped by his seat. He didn’t sit, but he stood beside him, studying him for a moment.

“Are you that nervous?” Erwin asked, gently. Levi did not need gentle today. He didn’t want gentle ever. He did not know how to deal with gentle.

Levi just shrugged.

“Good luck, then,” Erwin said, brow furrowed.

“And you,” Levi replied, not wanting to be studied any longer.

“If I finish first, I’ll come and support you.”

Levi nodded once.

“Good luck,” Erwin repeated. As he walked passed Levi, he touched him on the shoulder and Levi felt that warmth for the entire morning and all the way to the gymnastics building.

When he entered the building, he could hear the crowds gathering to watch. There were so many gymnasts preparing themselves in the changing room, and Levi ignored them, going over to his team, greeting them with only a nod and hoping they would think he was nervous. He was nervous, but not because he wanted to do well but because he knew he wouldn’t, and he knew he was going to let his team down.

When they stepped out into the view of the audience, there were some cheers, some people calling their names. Levi buried it beneath his thoughts, trying to think of anything but his mother and Kenny, but the cheers didn’t help. They reminded him that his mother had never seen him compete and only taken him to practice when he was very young. It reminded him of the harsher beating Kenny doled out when Levi had done something wrong. It made his scars throb and he wanted to hide away for a moment. If only he could.

They stretched together, the cameras turning on so the world could watch them as they readied to compete. Levi, ignoring them and the phones recording him, stretched into his splits, bending over each leg, pressing his forehead to his knee and feeling his back stretch. If he could immerse himself in the way his body felt, maybe he wouldn’t think about his mother’s smile and how she never had the chance to congratulate him. It only half-worked.

His first event was the pommel horse. It wasn’t his strongest, but he could usually do it. Well, on a good day, he could do it. And, as he had gotten in his mind that today was going to be a bad day, there was no way it could be a good day. If he had tried to be positive, maybe it could have been better, but he had gone into it with negative thoughts and so, negative it would be.

When he stepped up to the pommel horse, covering his hands in chalk, he steadied his breathing. He couldn’t delay it for long, he would not deal with the deducted points. He smacked his hands together, the smoke of chalk covering him for a moment. He took another breath. He could do this.

He did not do it.

Even though he knew the routine, even though he had practised it a thousand times, even though he could picture it and did picture each night before he went to sleep, he did it wrong. His legs split apart, he paused too long between manoeuvres, he stumbled. It was an absolute joke. He was a champion, he had won medals and trophies, and he couldn’t perform a routine he had perfected because he was haunted by memories. It was a fucking disaster and Levi felt a great fool.

When he dismounted, he gave his half-bow and cursed. He was sure the cameras had caught it and there would be headlines about Levi being caught swearing, but he did not care. It was a shoddy start, and he knew it would only get worse.

As he made his way over to the rest of his team, he ignored their looks of concern. He was going to let them down and he could not face them. He had ruined their chances and he didn’t know why he had bothered. He knew the anniversary of his mother’s death would fall around the competition. He knew he was going to be affected, he should have let someone else take his place. Maybe their chances wouldn’t be as good, but at least they would have a chance.

They didn’t have a chance now.

His score was 8.4, and he sighed, trying not to curse visibly again. The cameras were on him, he didn’t want to give them too much footage of his downfall. He had just wanted a Gold medal, just one for his mother, to show Kenny he didn’t need to be beaten to win. He wasn’t sure he had another Olympics in him, it might be his only chance, and he was fucking it up.

Petra went up for the parallel bar when Levi went up for the rings. If she could do well, if the rest of his team could push through and get the best scores, maybe they had a chance. Really, they didn’t. If there was even a single member of their team who didn’t perform their best, they weren’t going to the podiums. Levi felt awful he had done this to his team, and he thought he could bring it back with the rings, for he knew the rings, he had the strength for them and it was one of his strongest skills.

But he did not bring it back with the rings.

He did not bring it back with the parallel bars.

He did not bring it back with the high bar.

He did not bring it back with the uneven bars either.

Each time, he came back to see their faces, their silent questions. They did not voice them likely because they were so shocked. Levi had had the occasional bad day, he had had a blip on some of the apparatus. He had never done this badly before. Never on something so important. Never so consistently. They would not voice their questions and, even if they had, he would not have been able to answer them. He was consumed with guilt and his failings were live on television, internationally. What a fucking world.

The balance beam was his best, he had just broken the Olympic Record for it, it was his strongest apparatus. If he messed up on this, he might as well give up on his gymnastics career. Forget the sponsorships, forget the medals, if he fucked this up, he wasn’t sure he would ever recover.

He knew people were talking, he knew the commentators would be questioning what had gone wrong, if he had peaked in the Qualifiers, and he wanted to prove them wrong, he _had_ to prove them wrong. He was a good gymnast, he had broken records, this was his dream, his one love, he had been beaten for doing it wrong and he still loved it. He couldn’t fuck up this bad. It wasn’t in the way he functioned.

The second he flipped onto the beam, he knew he was going to fuck it up. He wobbled. Levi did not wobble on the balance beam, he had not done that since he was a child. He loved the beam, it was his perfect apparatus, it made him weightless, it showed off his lithe body. And he had wobbled.

Too much pausing would get him too many deductions, so he tried to force himself through it, but that didn’t help. It made him stumble, he teetered on the edge, he didn’t complete his turns. His balance was off and his connections were shoddy. Levi never hesitated and he found himself hesitating between every single move. Levi couldn’t believe his mother’s death would cause him this much pain so many years on. His mother’s smile should not have haunted him this much, he should be willed on to make her proud of him. But it was going the opposite way, and Levi hated himself as the guilt consumed him.

When he fell off the beam, Levi cursed again, jumping straight back on so he could complete his routine, but he knew he had fallen too far to redeem himself. He had let his team down, he had let himself down, he had let his country down, he had let his mother down. He was ashamed of himself and his entire performance.

The wait for his score, after performing the worst dismount in his career where he landed with his feet well apart and still stumbled despite that, was the worst thing in the world. He had always told himself to just wait and let the score come and feel whatever he felt after he knew what he had received. But he knew it was going to be shit, he knew he was going to get the worst score of his gymnastics career.

His face on the screen as the most shocking score of 7.333 showed was horrendous. He looked gaunt and tired and soulless. Levi had rarely seen himself look as pale as he currently did.

He tutted at himself. Petra had sat next to him, looking at him with a furrowed brow. Levi could not look at her. He could not look at anyone.

When he went to the vault, Levi felt his heart in his mouth. He usually felt nervous before the vault as it was his weakest apparatus; today, he felt sick just looking at it. Although he did not know how badly he was going to fuck up, he knew he was going to fuck up. He would likely land completely out of the landing zone, or he would fall over, maybe sprain an ankle. Whatever was going to happen, Levi knew he wasn’t going to be perfect. Far from it, in fact. He had let his team down, and he knew he could only make it up to them by coming back and winning something for them next time. There was nothing else he could do. What a waste of training. What a waste of all those years. Levi felt like such a fuck up.

He hoped he didn’t sprain his ankle or injure himself. He hurt a little from falling off the beam, but they were not the kind of injuries that would stop him competing in the Individuals or the Event Finals. He didn’t want an injury that would prevent him from showing the world that this was just a bad day, that he _could_ perform at the Games. He couldn’t let one apparatus take away his chance of getting any medals.

He messed up the run. There was no way he was going to get up the velocity he needed for the turns he was meant to perform. He would have to change it, but trying to change what you had in your mind whilst about to perform was not easy and his mind was muddled as he tried to work things out.

He heard the snap before he felt it.

There was quite a wealth of silence before he heard the reaction of the audience as he lay on the floor, clutching his right leg and shaking as the pain coursed through him. It was the most intense feeling of pain Levi had ever known, it made him actually feel like he was going to vomit. It was like a burning hot rage running up and down his calf, and he was sure he had snapped the bone clean in half, tearing the muscle.

When he had competed before, he had sprained an ankle or hurt a wrist as he performed something wrong. This pain was nothing like that. This would not be cured by just a simple bandage and rest. At least Kenny wouldn’t beat him for it, but he felt like he might beat himself for being such a prat.

His first thought was not that he needed to get help but, instead, how he had completely let his team down, how he could not finish the Olympics, and how he might not be able to compete ever again. It made him angry and furious, an intense dejection filling him as well. There were a hundred conflicting emotions running through his system and he tried to focus on one at a time but the intense pain in his shin throbbed and that took up most of his thoughts.

He thought there might be a couple of tears down his cheeks, but he wasn’t sure if that was down to the pain or the feeling of failure. He was aware of some screams and yelling. He was aware the cameras were on him, that they had been on him when he had snapped the bone, but all he could think of, all he was hoping for was that Erwin might be winning the races he was in. Someone had to win if Levi could not.

He was only acutely aware of being carried out on a stretcher, of his teammates coming over to him, of the cameras and phones following his movement. Instead of focusing on that, he calmed his breathing, trying to stop himself shaking, but all his thoughts were consumed by snapped bone and broken dreams.

In the ambulance over the short journey to the hospital, he was given a shock blanket, aware he was still shaking and cold, but not thinking about it. He had fucked it all up. His team could not win now. Sure, Isabel was going to the Individual All Around, and some of them had made it to the different Event Finals, but, as a team, he had fucked it up. He had ruined their chances of getting a medal as a team, he had disappointed all his fans and his friends and his team and his country. He was a failure, and he felt it through and through.

They had to realign the bone when he got to his hospital bed. They had given him injections to numb the area, but Levi still felt it as they realigned the bone, snapping it back into place. Levi wondered if he would ever be able to compete again, if this was the sort of injury anyone could come back from.

It was such a rush, such a panic, but Levi just wanted to watch the swimming, he wanted to know if Erwin was succeeding. The gymnastics would be in quite the state, perhaps delayed by a day, Levi wasn’t sure. There wasn’t exactly a precedent for these sorts of things, but Levi wasn’t bothered. His gymnastics career was out of the window, what happened there was not something Levi even wanted to think about any longer. If he could ignore it then maybe this feeling of failure would leave him alone. If he could watch Erwin, see him win, see him succeed, he might feel like at least something was going well. He did not care about the splint or the plaster, he didn’t care about the painkillers, he wanted the television on so he could watch the Olympics, so he could watch Erwin. The television in his room couldn’t be on whilst they were working on him, however, which was mightily frustrating.

It was hours later before they left him to let him rest. He had this cast on the bottom half of his leg that he completely ignored by covering it up with a sheet. He would be spending the night here, apparently, but Levi didn’t care. The feeling of pain had gone, what was left was nothing, a numbness that encapsulated him.

Before the final nurse left, having brought him food because Levi couldn’t exactly walk to the canteen, he asked him to put the television on for him and shut the door behind him. He did, giving Levi the controller, but Levi didn’t have it in him to thank the nurse. He didn’t feel much of anything right now.

He flipped through the channels at haste, trying to find the swimming events.

He switched it on half-way through one of the commentators saying, “… and we’re starting the freestyle relay. Mike is already in the lead for Rose, but they won’t peak too soon. Behind Mike we have...” Levi blanked the other names out as he focused in on who was swimming, on the relief he felt that he could watch something successful.

Levi had missed the Final for the two-hundred metre freestyle and the Heats and Semi-Finals for the one-hundred metre backstroke, but at least he was here for this. He did not care about missing the butterfly Heats and Semi-Finals, he cared only that he had arrived in time for this. Sure, he had missed the Heats, but the Final was probably the most important thing to watch. It was the last one of the day for Erwin, for his team, and Levi wanted to watch him win. He had to win.

There were so many lengths, and the cheers and whistling were incredible. Levi watched Mike’s lead grow as he went back and forth, the swimmers pummelling through the water at incredible speed. Considering Levi didn’t know how to swim, he thought it even more impressive.

Hanji was in next, leaping through the air and gaining on their lead. Of course, as there were so many lengths, even Levi knew they shouldn’t outdo themselves too early, but their lead to the next swimmer was incredible. Why anyone even bothered to go up against them, Levi didn’t know. Well, some had said that about Levi’s gymnastics team at one point, and now look where he was. Everyone had a chance now. Levi should have won Gold for the beam alone, and now he wouldn’t get anything. He wouldn’t even get the chance to compete, the chance to try. It was a joke.

When Hanji’s lengths were done, they had increased their lead incredibly, but Levi remembered Erwin saying something about Nanaba being their weakest swimmer and, whilst she wasn’t exactly weak, Levi wondered what it would do for their team. Nanaba dove into the pool and Levi could see she was already not as strong as the other two. Other teams started to gain on her and Levi found himself holding his breath as he waited. He needed Erwin to win because, for some reason, it made his own failures feel less.

As Nanaba reached the end of her final lap, Levi watched Erwin step onto the platform, and he so wished he could be there in person, to watch Erwin and only Erwin since the cameras did not allow for that. When the cameras were on Erwin, Levi felt his heart pound and he knew exactly what that feeling was but would not comment on it, no matter how hard he was feeling it.

When Erwin dove into the water, Levi understood why he was called Powerhouse Smith. Nanaba had pulled them back to fourth place and, within his first lap, Erwin had brought them up to third. He powered through the water like it was air. His turns were elegant given the shape and size of his body. Levi watched him like there was no one else in the water and he thoroughly wished the cameras would focus purely on him, but he understood why they didn’t.

As Erwin made lap after lap, he pulled himself to second place, decreasing the lead of the person in front of him. He moved through the water like he belonged in the pool, and Levi thought him such an engaging presence. The way his arms worked was astounding and Levi could have watched him forever.

On his last lap, Erwin was equal with the other swimmer for a moment before he pulled ahead, Levi’s heart in his mouth as he watched this blonde lump he had made love to for two weeks go for the Gold medal he deserved. He was extraordinary, a powerhouse who deserved his title. The way he moved was enchanting, and Levi wished him all the luck in the world because Levi knew he wouldn’t be around to witness everything else he accomplished here.

Erwin didn’t likely know what had happened to Levi yet. When he found out, Levi wondered what his first thought might be, if he might think to visit him in the hospital. Although Levi didn’t expect him to, he wanted to see him before he left. He wanted to leave Mitras the second he could. He should stay around for the Closing Ceremony, for the parties, for the fans and the people, but he couldn’t. The place reminded him of failure already and he didn’t need anymore reminders, he didn’t need any more of those memories.

When Erwin touched the wall and cemented their Gold medal, Levi felt proud. Although his connection to Erwin wasn’t the strongest, there was something there, and Levi was proud Erwin could complete his goals when Levi couldn’t, when Levi had fucked it up.

Levi watched as Erwin pushed himself out of the pool, his glorious, tanned body glistening with water as he pulled his cap off his head and removed his goggles. He hugged his team, shook hands with the others and then it was onto the interviews. Levi watched and waited, knowing Erwin and his team would be pulled over for one and wanting to hear his tones for they might soothe him.

After a rundown of the times and how close fourth place had been to getting third, they were being interviewed. Erwin wasn’t even out of breath.

“Congratulations,” the commentator greeted in Common, the team saying thank you. Levi only watched Erwin, so much of his skin on show, glistening from the water and from the lights inside the building. Levi’s heart pounded, thumping noisily in his chest.

“How are you feeling right now?” the commentator asked.

“It’s always hard to explain,” Mike answered. “It’s one of the best feelings.”

“It’s incredible,” the commentator agreed. “You were so close to the Olympic Record. Again. Erwin, this is a common theme for you.”

“Almost breaking the Record?” Erwin clarified.

“Yes. Every time, you’ve gotten so close. You’ve gotten one, but honestly, you deserve so many more.”

Erwin laughed, and it was such a soothing sound. “It is what it is. I didn’t come here to break records, I just came to support my country and my team.”

“That’s very humble of you,” the commentator said.

“He’ll break them all one day,” Nanaba said and she pushed Erwin with her shoulder, making him smile brighter.

“Does this mean we can expect you to return at the next Games? I know it’s quite soon to be thinking about that, but after performances like that, surely you all know already.”

Before Levi could hear the answer to that question, Levi saw his teammates arrive. Even though he had known they would be coming to see him, he wasn’t sure how to face them. He had ruined their chances of a medal in the team event, and he could not face his guilt, not with them in person.

He switched the television off as they entered, though he wasn’t sure where he should look now. They stood around him, only one chair in the room that Isabel sat on. Petra had the most concern on her face, Isabel was shaking her head, Farlan looked like he had been crying, and Eld looked disappointed. Levi did not blame any of them for their reactions.

“Hello, Coach,” Petra greeted, her hands laced tightly in her lap. Levi wondered if she wanted to reach out and hold his hand, but Levi was not comfortable with affection. It would likely comfort her more than him, and he wanted her to be comforted, but he couldn’t force himself through it.

“Hi,” Levi replied, sighing.

There was a long pause, Levi wondering if he should be the one to initiate conversations or if he was allowed to pass on that. He had ruined their chances for a team medal, ruined Eld’s chance of getting anything at this Olympics, but he was also the one who had broken his leg and he deserved rest.

“How are you feeling?” Petra asked.

“Shit,” Levi answered for he always answered honestly. “I’m sorry about… Fuck, I’m just sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, bro,” Isabel assured. “Everyone has bad days.”

“Yours just happened to fall on a really bad day,” Farlan said, smiling.

“Hm,” Levi hummed, looking out of the window for a moment. The support his team had given him over the years was amazing, and he was still not used to it. He wasn’t sure what to do with it or what to say in response.

“The videos are gross,” Isabel said, snorting. “Like, actually disgusting. They got it from so many angles.”

“Great,” Levi said.

“It’s an unfortunate place for it to happen,” Petra said, serious and shaking her head. “It’s already all over the news.”

“Great,” Levi repeated. “I’m sorry. I fucked up.”

“Nobody’s blaming you,” Eld said, but Levi could hear the disappointment in his voice.

“They should,” Levi retorted. “It’s my fault.”

“Worst things could have happened,” Petra said, reaching out to touch Levi on the shoulder. She did not keep it there for long, but Levi nodded at her.

“You could have broken your leg on live television,” Isabel said. “I mean, you could have broken it in front of thousands of people, half of which were recording and then could slow it down to watch your leg bend out of place-.”

“Isabel,” Petra scolded.

Isabel, however, was laughing. Levi rolled his eyes at her but was glad she was joking around. It appeared she was not too affected by it. Levi hoped the rest of his team would be okay, he felt responsible as both a teammate and a coach for how they recovered, but that was a different kind of responsibility he had not dealt with before and he was not sure how to start that process.

“If someone else had been in my place, you might have gotten to the podium,” Levi said, ignoring the last part of the conversation.

“Maybe,” Farlan mused. “But that’s not what happened. It’s not the end of the world to not get a medal. We’re just glad you’re okay.”

“Can you compete again?” Petra asked, and then she grimaced. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just mean… gymnastics is your life. If you can’t do it…”

“Hey,” Levi said, focusing his eyes directly on Petra’s. “Four years till the next Olympics, yeah?” Petra nodded. “I can recover in four years.”

Petra released a deep breath.

“Next time, we’ll get Gold,” Levi promised. “I mean it. I’ll make it up to you.”

“There’s nothing you need to make up,” Farlan assured.

Although Levi thoroughly disagreed, he nodded. Their support was so foreign to him for he did not know what it meant to have support, and he appreciated them more than he could ever say. He would get them Gold in four years’ time, and he would do that if it was the last thing he ever did. They deserved that.

They stayed for a while longer, but they needed to get some rest after this awful day. They told him they would be resuming the Team Finals tomorrow and pushing everything a day back, but that the Team Finals didn’t matter to them anymore. They could, technically, still compete, but their scores wouldn’t beat the other teams and Levi understood if they were shaken, so they said they were going to drop out of the Team Finals for this year, which made Levi feel sick to think about.

Isabel would still be going to the Individuals and everyone except Eld had some Event Finals to compete in, so they still had a chance at medals, which made Levi feel slightly better. Not much, especially for Eld, but Levi wanted and needed them to succeed.

When they went to leave, they checked to see if Levi needed anything, but he assured them he was fine. He was glad for their friendship, even if it was so alien to him.

He switched the television back on but they had been here so long that the medalling had come and gone. Instead, it was a rundown of the days’ events, and Levi was up first.

He supposed that made sense, this was quite the enormous thing to have happened. Whether you watched the Olympics for one particular gymnast or one sport and you did not care at all for anything else, it was still a massive thing for an athlete to have injured themselves the way Levi had injured himself.

Levi wondered how long the reports would last, how much speculation would arise and just how wrong it would all be.

As this was a rundown in Common, Levi didn’t know the two presenters, but he kept it on all the same. He wasn’t sure he wanted to flick through the channels and see just how many different news reports were including him because he was sure it was most of them.

“Our first major story we have to report on is Levi Ackerman,” the woman began, sitting with the stadium for what looked like decathlon as her backdrop. “Now, as you most likely may have heard, Levi Ackerman, who is the star gymnast from Souterrain, has broken his leg today during the Team Final.

“We’re going to play some clips, but please be advised that there are greatly distressing images that will be played, so watch at your own discretion.”

As the two continued to speak, they firstly played images of Levi fucking up every routine from the pommel horse to the rings to all the bars. The worst thing was seeing his fuckups on the beam, watching himself stumble and hesitate and wobble was the most horrendous thing in the world. For him to love this apparatus more than life, more than anything, and to watch as he flipped and then slipped off it was the most heart wrenching thing in the world. But he kept watching because he couldn’t look away, he had to see what everyone else had seen today.

“I mean, this is truly shocking, even for those who haven’t followed his career trajectory,” the man continued as these clips played. “If you are unaware, the Souterrain gymnastics team were predicted Silver or even Gold at the Team Finals today, and Levi himself was predicted Gold for the Individual All Around and most of the Event Finals.

“To see what you’re seeing here, I mean, nobody quite knows what’s going on. He’s had the most stunning career path that any gymnast could wish for, and then to get here, even with the beam where he broke the World Record at seventeen, it’s insane.”

“He even broke the Olympic Record during Qualifiers,” the woman continued. “Now, we’re about to show what happened with his leg, so be advised that it can be quite distressing.”

Levi didn’t look away, he watched as they played a clip that ran from several different angles of him running up to the vault, launching himself off it, and then not getting nearly enough height or rotations in. What followed was quite sickening; as he landed his right leg bent completely out of place. No leg should ever look like that, snapping almost cleanly in half, and then they showed Levi collapsing onto the floor.

They played it three times, even in slow-motion, which was kind of disgusting, watching his leg angle in completely the wrong direction before he could no longer hold himself up. But he still watched, more interested in his lack of rotations, actually.

“It’s the worst performance of his entire career,” the woman continued. “And some of the points he has scored, I don’t think we’ve seen scores that low during the Games before.”

“And so unexpected,” the man continued. “I mean, just look at this.”

They played clips from the Qualifiers then, which made Levi feel worse. To see his beam performance there, everything so near perfect, it just made Levi feel like actual shit. To look like that, to see his form so wonderful and elegant and exact, and then to have seen the images where he had fallen off the beam completely, it made him feel worthless.

“Just look at the difference. What do we think went wrong?” the woman asked, the camera cutting back to them in the studio.

“We’re thinking nerves, the pressure, crumbling under the weight of expectation,” the man guessed. “But who can say for sure? He’s been at the Olympics before and got medals there. We were thinking, with this better team, with Souterrain behind him, with his experience, there was no reason for him to fail.”

“It’s just such a shame,” the woman said. “To think how far he has come. We’re not sure what kind of state he is in now. We know he’s at the hospital and his team, who have dropped out of the Team Finals which will resume tomorrow, have been to see him, but who knows when we’ll next hear from him again.”

“If we ever do,” the man continued. “This could be the end of such a wonderful career.”

“Such a shame,” the woman said, shaking her head. “But we’ll move onto the next story now…”

They talked about some feat in weightlifting that Levi barely listened to. He kept thinking how wrong they were and how they would likely never know the truth. There had been pressure and expectation, but Levi sometimes thrived underneath that. It was all to do with his mother, being haunted by her, being haunted by Kenny and his tougher treatment. He was used to expectation. He wasn’t used to remembering his mother.

When he saw Erwin come down the hall, his heart was filled for a moment. It was ridiculous, but it happened. He wasn’t wearing his medals he had won for the day and Levi almost wished he was. If he had been able to hold the Mitras medal before he left, a Gold nonetheless, it might make his frustrations and heartache go away for a moment.

He knocked gently even though he could see Levi in plain view, and Levi nodded for him to enter.

Erwin did not speak as he looked at Levi’s leg, obvious despite being hidden beneath the sheet, and as he sat down in the chair beside him. Levi wondered what kind of judgement Erwin might bestow upon him. He had made many mistakes in his life, but he did not want to be judged by Erwin for them.

“What happened?” Erwin asked, quietly, the noise of the hospital almost stealing it away even though his door was closed.

“I fucked up,” Levi answered, shrugging.

“You knew it was going to go badly the second you woke up,” Erwin said, brow furrowed, confused, maybe sympathetic as well. “How did you know?”

Levi looked away, subconsciously resting his hand on top of the plaster that had been applied to his leg, coming up above his knee for safekeeping, the doctors had informed him.

“Congratulations on your medals,” Levi said, ignoring Erwin’s question.

“Thank you,” Erwin replied, quietly, politely. “Tell me how you knew it was going to go wrong.”

“I’m not going to make excuses.”

“Tell me what those excuses might be, then.”

Levi looked back to Erwin then who was watching him without judgement, just with concern. He glanced at his leg a few times and Levi tutted. He did not tell people this, his team didn’t even know. The only person who knew was Kenny, and he was a million miles away.

How could Levi voice those words? What could he say? He wasn’t one to make excuses, he just let shit happen and he dealt with it. It was on him, always, and he accepted that, always.

But he didn’t want Erwin’s disappointment. He could deal with his team’s. It was harder to deal with their support, but their disappointment was something he could bear. But not Erwin’s. He didn’t want Erwin to think he was weak, he didn’t want his judgement. Maybe explaining it would make that easier, would take away that judgement, but it still meant voicing words that he never voiced.

“It’s…” Levi sighed, tutting at himself again.

There was silence for a long while. Levi could almost feel himself welling up, so he clenched his jaw and looked at the wall, finding it easier to stare at then at Erwin.

“Please, tell me,” Erwin encouraged, softly, barely audible.

Levi swallowed before he said, “It’s the anniversary of… my mother’s… death, today.” He glanced at Erwin, unsure what his response would be.

Erwin nodded once, perhaps not understanding it completely. Few would. Deaths affected everyone, but not everyone had the strained and complicated life Levi had, and his mother’s death had almost ruined him. It ruined him each year when Kenny would beat him harsher for it.

“I’ve only competed a couple of times when it was my mother’s death day, but it fucks me up because… I just remember… She never watched me compete. She took me to some practices when I was young, but she never saw me win anything and I don’t know if she’d be… I don’t know if she could be proud of me…

“And then Kenny would be harsher. If I fucked up, he would beat me so hard I wouldn’t be able to walk for a week without limping or wincing, I wouldn’t be able to wear a shirt properly. That repetition, that regular intensity of his beatings each year, it sticks with you. I think abuse does that… So, each year, I feel it like a weight, and I know I’m going to fuck up. I thought I might be able to get passed it for my team, but clearly that was not the case.”

Erwin understood more then, and he stretched his hand out to take Levi’s. It was another act of support Levi was not used to, and he had to look away. He did not retract his hand, but he could not look at them as they touched.

“It’s a very unfortunate day for it to fall on then, isn’t it? That’s a very unlucky hand to be dealt,” Erwin said, squeezing Levi’s hand. “What will you do now?”

“What do you mean?” Levi asked, still not looking at him.

“Can you still do gymnastics?”

“If I can’t, I might as well die,” Levi said, and he meant it. He had a complicated love for the sport; he had fallen in love with it as a young boy and then Kenny had beaten him for not doing it perfectly. And, so, even though he needed to be perfect or he felt his scars throb, he still loved it, but it was tainted, in some way. His love for it was incredible, but there was some fear in him as well for, if he was not perfect, he had failed. It was his life, it was in the way he existed and breathed. Without it, he was nothing.

“So, you can recover from this?”

Levi nodded. “I have to.”

“I don’t think you should push yourself, though.” Erwin squeezed his hand again and Levi looked at him. “This is not something you can force yourself through.”

“It has to be.”

“You’ve got four years, right?” Erwin asked. “Take your time.”

“I still have to compete.”

“Give yourself a year, maybe two.” Erwin squeezed his hand again and then retracted it. Levi felt the loss in his heart. “No one will fault you for that.”

“But…”

“Levi, this is not your fault,” Erwin interrupted. “If you blame yourself for this, I don’t think you’ll ever do gymnastics again. You won’t recover if you blame yourself.”

“You don’t know me, Erwin.” Levi spat it with venom on his tongue. He hadn’t intended to, but it was the way it had happened and he couldn’t take it back.

Erwin stared at him, silently. He furrowed his brow for a moment, watching Levi, considering him before he relaxed into himself, clearly having thought about what he wanted to say in response to Levi’s venomous tongue. “I know you well enough.”

“We fucked a couple of times,” Levi spat. He appreciated Erwin’s sentiment, but he was so foreign to it, he could not let it linger. They would be apart for four years now, even longer if Erwin didn’t come back to the Games. He might as well break it off now. “What did you think was going to happen? That we’d get married and have kids all because of this shit? We’re not in love.”

“I never said we were.”

“Stop acting like my husband then,” Levi provoked. A bitter taste sat on his tongue, but an argument would be better than this support. He had always been better alone.

Erwin nodded once, his features neutral.

“Did I hurt your feelings?” Levi goaded again.

Erwin laughed through his nose, but it felt humourless. “I’m not as fragile as that, thank you.”

Levi scoffed.

Erwin was silent for a long moment, Levi not liking the way he was studying him.

“Would you like me to go?” Erwin asked, his blue eyes uncertain.

“You might as well. You’ve got parties to go to and I’m leaving in the morning.”

“Leaving the Village?”

“Leaving here. I’m going back to Souterrain.”

“Tomorrow?”

Levi nodded.

“What about the Closing Ceremony? There’s still a couple of weeks to go.”

“Not for me. What’s the point if I can’t compete?”

“What about your team?”

“They’re better off without me,” Levi said. “I can’t fail them if I’m not around.”

“Levi-.”

“You can go now,” Levi interjected.

Erwin hesitated, but he stood anyway. “Well, it was nice to meet you, Levi.”

“Mm,” Levi hummed, looking away and not watching as Erwin left the room. It had been cruel, but at least Erwin didn’t expect anything from him anymore. It had been a pleasant couple of weeks, but Levi had bigger things to focus on now: recovery.


	7. My World

After the hospital had told him the next course of action, which was pain medication and physiotherapy as well as check-ups back home, Levi caught the first flight to Souterrain. He bid a quick goodbye to his teammates, who attempted to protest and keep him around, but Levi said they would have to deal with it without him as he was no use to them now. Sure, he was their coach, but part of that coaching was teaching them how to deal with stuff alone and Levi thought this was a good place to enact that teaching. He felt like an idiot on his crutches and he hated being around for people to see him like that.

A small part of him had hoped he might bump into Erwin at some point, but he was still competing and Levi knew, both from being told and from watching the rundown of the sports being held that day, Erwin had many Heats and Finals to be competing in, so he knew he should not wish for it. It did not stop him, however.

Even though he had been cruel and he had, basically, told him to get lost because he didn’t need him, he did need him. He would have liked his support, but it was better to get that disappointment out there early before it became something bigger.

Their relationship, whilst small and fleeting, Levi had supposed it meant something to him. He _had_ felt something for him, and he knew it. There was something to Erwin’s aura, the calm he exuded unto the world wasn’t something Levi knew and he had wanted to keep him around for that.

But Levi wasn’t used to a softer way of living, a gentle way of existing and, whilst he was sure Erwin might have brought that to his life, Levi could not have it. He would not be able to keep that sort of thing in his life, so it was best to throw it away, let Erwin deal with someone who deserved that. It was just an Olympic fling, after all, it didn’t have to mean anything, even if it could have meant something.

The flight back to Souterrain had been painful and boring, particularly with his cast making him more cumbersome than he had ever been in his entire life.

At the airport, there were fans who had, somehow, figured out when he was landing. Levi had always been amazed by the things they could do, like figuring out when he would be at the airport, but he wasn’t particularly in the mood for them today.

Other times, he might have stopped to greet them and sign things, but not today. Instead, he hobbled his way over to his car on his ridiculous crutches, giving them simply a wave. It was all he could manage and he hoped they understood. He had broken his leg, he was dealing with the uncertainty of his future career, he hoped they could understand the turmoil he was currently facing.

The journey back to his home was longer than he remembered, so he checked through his phone. It was the first time he had gone on Twitter, and he had far too many mentions. He scrolled through them, seeing they were mainly about wishing him a speedy recovery, and it was so sweet that he had to like some of them, just to show his fans that he did appreciate them. It was easier to do it like this than to say it in person. He would try to be active on social media, but his recovery was his current focus.

There were a couple of articles Levi scanned through as the car made its way through Souterrain to his home in its capital. A few of them were supportive, a few of them were neutral, a few of them were negative, which was always the case. Everyone had an opinion.

A lot of them, no matter what their stance, questioned what would happen next, where he could go from here. This sort of injury was horrendous, it was not an easy thing to recover from when flexibility was so much of his career. They wondered how he would get that back, not only because a broken bone prohibited that but also because he would be away from stretching and practising for months, and that would mean starting flexibility almost from the beginning again.

Levi tried not to pay too much attention to them, just wanting to see what the general consensus was. This battle was his, not the medias. He might keep his fans up to date, but it was a very personal thing he was going through and he wanted to keep that as personal as possible.

He slept horrendously even though his body was exhausted when he finally got back to his house. He didn’t even unpack his stuff, he just collapsed onto his bed and willed sleep to claim him, but it didn’t.

His appointment a couple of days later went exactly as he expected; he would have some medication for the pain as it healed, the cast would come off in two months’ time, and then physiotherapy would become his life until he could perform gymnastics again. His doctor told him to keep his expectations reigned in, but Levi told him that, if he couldn’t compete again, he wasn’t sure what he would do with himself. There were going to be long, long months on the road to recovery, but Levi would get there if it killed him. His fans deserved this. His team deserved this. His country deserved this. He deserved this.

His doctor still said he should not push himself and let his body heal naturally and with ease, but Levi told him he still expected to be able to compete in the next Games. Four years seemed far away right now, but Levi was sure, given he needed to recover and start competing again, it was going to come up on him quickly.

Levi watched the Olympics from the comfort of his home, leg elevated and biting his nails. Isabel got bronze for the All Round, which was an incredible feat and she should be proud, though Levi knew she would likely be worrying about him, miles and miles away. Farlan got Bronze on the pommel horse but missed out and got fourth for the vault. Petra was seventh for the rings but got Bronze for the high bar. Isabel, in her erratic fashion, managed to get Silver for the uneven bar and then get the fewest points for the balance beam. Levi wasn’t sure how she managed to do so well some weeks and mess up on others, but he was proud of her all the same.

Erwin, including the team races, got fourteen medals altogether. Everyone was saying it was mad Erwin hadn’t competed before, that this being his first Olympics was insane considering how well he had done, he had even ended up breaking more Olympic Records as well. Levi knew the reason, but it was interesting to hear the speculation. Most of them were Gold, and Levi had gone on his Instagram the day after his competitions had ended to see him wearing them all in his tight speedos, seven Golds, five silvers, and two Bronzes, all hung around his glorious neck. Levi envied him, but pride filled him as well.

If Levi really wanted to, he was sure he could have procured his number somehow, congratulate him, meet him somewhere. He knew he both shouldn’t and wouldn’t, but he could. He had so many other things to focus on, he couldn’t be distracted by some tall blonde with fourteen Olympic medals, but he could dream, he supposed.

When his team came home, he congratulated them and said, in four years’ time, he would be back there and he would get them the medals they deserved. Eld would likely have retired by then, but Levi, decidedly, did not think about that as, if he did, Levi had completely ruined his chances of getting a Gold medal at the Olympics. Sure, he had become an Olympian and that was reward enough, but to be there and to miss out because of a teammate, Levi felt that guilt and he wanted to make it up to him.

There were long weeks of recovering and, for someone used to being so active, to always be doing _something,_ it was almost painful. He went to the gymnastics building to be with his team, to talk over strategies and routines for they had other competitions coming up, but it wasn’t enough. Until he had his cast off and until he had completed months and months of physiotherapy, he could not be up there, with them. It felt awful and almost lonely.

When the cast came off, his leg was so stiff he thought he might never be able to _walk_ again, let alone do flips on top of the balance beam. It was going to be a long and painful journey, but his goal was achievable. Its distance, whilst far, allowed him to get there because there was so much time between now and the next Games in Dauper.

His first physiotherapy session came two days after the cast had been removed. He was given a boot to wear when he was walking, to ease his leg into that movement, but the physiotherapy session was just him and his leg. There had been some discussion about doing water-based therapy, but Levi did not care for being in water and would only consider that if the other physio wasn’t going well enough.

He had been doing the small exercises he was allowed to do at home but, when he had a proper session and they were asking him to test his mobility, of which there was little, Levi almost deemed his goal impossible.

When he had been younger, to keep up his flexibility all he had had to do was stretch and keep practising because people were more flexible when they were younger. As he got older, it took more and constant stretching to keep his body where it needed to be. Having gone months with his leg stuck in a cast, it was nowhere near where he needed it to be and Levi was going to have to push himself until he could finally be where he had been.

His physiotherapist told him to keep his goals small for now, to keep his expectations limited. Levi never had low expectations. He didn’t know how to keep his goals being that of ankle rotation and a slight bend in the knee when he had previously been able to flip up and down a four-inch-wide beam.

It was frustrating, and when the hour and a half came to its end, Levi could have throttled something to get rid of those frustrations. They had barely done a thing and, whilst his physiotherapist had told him it was small stages and that, next week, he would be able to do better as long as he kept up his limited exercises at home, that didn’t help. Levi had not expected to be able to do the splits right away, but he had hoped for more than that.

When he got home, Isabel and Farlan out because they were the lucky souls who could walk about and go to practice, Levi saw they had a message on their machine. Levi detested their landline, it was so ancient and who would call a landline when they had mobile phones?

It was only when Levi checked his phone that he had turned off for his physio session that he saw he had missed calls there as well. He supposed it was fair to go to the landline when the mobile wasn’t working.

He played the message as he made some food, trying his best to keep the weight on his leg but knowing he shouldn’t push it. He didn’t want to do more damage.

“Hi, Levi, this is Sonny, I’m sure you remember me, we’ve interviewed you a hundred times by now. We were just wondering if you’d be available to call us back sometime soon. We’d love to hear from you and get you on the morning show now it’s been a few months since the Games. Everyone’s desperate to hear from you. Call back on this number when you can. Thanks, sweetie.” It clicked.

Levi sighed.

Sonny was a part of duo named Sonny and Bean who were the major sport commentators for Souterrain. Levi had been interviewed by them so many times, both on their morning show and at certain competitions. It was a major part of being one of the leading sportsmen for the country.

He hadn’t even considered doing anything like that yet. He was still wearing the damned boot, he wasn’t thinking about keeping up a public face just yet. He knew it was going to be another part of his life he had to recover, but now? Really?

It was another annoying part of being a coach; being the one to decide when they did interviews, deciding if he should go on morning shows or not. He hated them. He was not great at being interviewed, he was not great at any social interaction, and live television where it was completely social and televised nationally and then would be available internationally afterwards made Levi squirm.

He didn’t want to be rude, so he called them back after he ate, but only to tell them that he wasn’t sure if could do anything like that yet. It was still early.

It rang for a short while before Sonny picked up.

“Hello?” Sonny greeted in her chirpy voice.

“Hey, Sonny. It’s Levi.” He tried not to sound monotonous, but that’s just how he was sometimes.

“Oh! Wonderful,” she exclaimed. “Tell me, darling, how are you feeling?”

“Just fine,” Levi answered, though it was a lie. The physio was shit, his leg was shit, his future was shit. There was little to feel fine about right now. “About your message-.”

“No, darling, I already know what you’re going to say!” she interjected. “Let me just say, we would love to have you on. The world misses you! These glimpses we get of you coming in and out of your hospital appointments and your gymnasium are not enough! Come, tell me when you are free and we will book you right now.”

“Sonny, I’m just not… It’s early still.”

“I know, and I think it’s perfect!” Sonny exclaimed. “We must have you on the show, darling. There’s simply no way you can say no.”

“Sonny-.”

“Levi,” she interrupted, her voice becoming serious for a moment, which was rare and meant Levi had to pay attention. “You’ve been missing for months, and this is fair, what happened was awful. But the fans miss you. I fear, and this is genuinely for you and not for me, though I do love having you on the show, if you do not show your face soon, your public reputation is going to be snapped up by someone else.

“You are the best gymnast Souterrain has ever had, in fact, one of the best the world has ever had. I cannot let you let that go. You must come on. Soon.”

Levi thought about it quietly for a moment, pressing his forehead against the wall as he thought, closing his eyes.

He knew she was right. Fans, whilst adoring, could be fickle. Levi needed their support to get the best sponsorship deals so he could continue doing what he loved.

It was just so soon. Levi had thought about doing interviews and morning shows in a years’ time, perhaps even further into the future. It had only been a few months, Levi was not sure what he would even say. He had only had one physio session.

“You must not remember me at all if you think I’d let you say no,” Sonny said into Levi’s silence.

He sighed. “Fine.”

“Wonderful!” she exclaimed. “We’ll have you on for a twenty-minute segment, I think.”

“Sonny-.”

“Darling, there’s much too much to talk about, if you think you’d be done in five minutes, you must be mad. When are you free?”

“You think my schedule’s busy? All I have right now is physio,” Levi said, almost upset by that fact.

“Well, can you do Friday? Scratch that, let’s do the Saturday show, get you the best viewings.”

“That’s four days away.”

“And what else do you have to do?” Sonny asked, and he could hear her smiling.

“Fine.”

“Be here for half-seven, sweetheart,” she said, and she hung up. Levi smacked his forehead against the wall, hoping it would knock some sense into him. Unfortunately, it did not.

Saturday rolled around far too quickly for Levi’s liking. He still had to wear his boot, which made him feel like a right prat, and it got in the way everywhere. He felt ridiculous, all eyes on him when he entered the studio building. Some people smiled, shaking his hand and greeting him. Others eyed him cautiously as if thinking he might be an apparition.

Both Sonny and Bean approached him when he was in the makeup chair. He was scheduled for the nine o’clock slot to get the best viewings, apparently. It was currently half-past eight, and Levi had never felt time slip by so quickly, his stupid boot weighing him down.

“You look healthy,” Bean said, considering him. Levi had been informed it would be best to wear something from the Olympics or practice gear, but he had ignored them and turned up jeans and a smart, black shirt. As the jeans were skinny, the boot was painfully obvious, and Bean's eyes lit up when he saw it. ‘Get them to be sympathetic’, that’s what he had sent in his text. “A casual look, it’s good. Show them you’re still human.”

“I think they know that already,” Sonny said, shoving Bean playfully and gesturing to his leg. Levi ignored them both. “You know the drill, of course. We’ll do a short rundown, introduce you, get right into it. Are you ready?”

“Sure,” Levi lied.

Sonny laughed. She patted his shoulder. “You do always make me laugh, Levi. We’ll have to jump back into it, the ads are almost up, but we’ll see you in a moment.”

The twenty minutes Levi had left to prepare were up in an instant.

When it was his turn, he was sat on the sofa beside them, the blue cushions comfortable, as they always were. Levi had been here so many times, he knew what was coming, he knew how to get through it. It had come sooner than he had expected, but he knew what he had to do to get through it.

Once the next lot of adverts were run, the camera light went green and Sonny introduced the next segment.

“Next up, we all know him, of course, he’s the pride and joy of Souterrain.” As Sonny spoke Levi saw, in the monitor, that there were clips of him being shown from so many of his competitions. Not the Mitras Team Finals, of course, but of competitions where he had actually done well, just short videos of him performing, doing as well as he should have done at the Games.

“It took an unfortunate turn at the last Games, as I’m sure everyone is aware, but he’s back here today to talk things through,” Bean continued and Levi watched as the monitor showed Sonny and Bean again as they spoke into the camera. “Today, at long last, we have Levi Ackerman back in the room.”

The monitor showed Levi then and he looked to his interviewers instead.

“How are you feeling this morning, Levi?” Sonny asked. The two of them worked in sync, almost like they were one mind with two bodies. They finished each other’s sentences, picked up from each other, never interrupted each other. It was creepy sometimes, but Levi ignored that in favour of trying to get this over with. Twenty minutes. That’s all he had to last.

“Fine, thank you,” Levi answered. He hated social situations.

“Wonderful,” Sonny replied. “We’re going to jump straight into it, there’s no point in trying to ignore the obvious, is there?”

“Of course not,” Bean picked up. “Everything was going so well. The Olympic Record going to you during Qualifications for the beam. I mean, look at this.” He pointed to the television screen beside them and it played his beam performance, one that Levi had watched repeatedly since he had returned to Souterrain. It made him sadder than anything else, to see him doing so well, to see what could have happened. “It’s just incredible.”

“And then we get to Team Finals and…” Sonny sighed. It was such a performance, but they got viewings, Levi supposed. “There’s been so much speculation, so many questions. Let’s ask you now, Levi: what happened?”

It was a question that came with a loaded answer. Whilst he had been able to tell Erwin, he would not be able to tell the world. Not yet, at least. Maybe one day, but certainly not today. His leg had to heal and his mind had to heal as well.

Instead, he answered, “I don’t know exactly. I know that’s a very unsatisfying answer, but I couldn’t tell you for sure what went wrong. Not exactly.”

“The pressure?” Sonny suggested.

“Expectation?” Bean furthered.

Levi shook his head. “I don’t think so. I’ve always had those on me. I had them at Trost, and I did just fine then. I think, maybe, it’s more complicated than that. They can’t have been the reason. They were there, obviously, there was a lot of pressure on me, on my whole team to get Gold, but I don’t think that would make me mess up as much as I did.”

“Maybe it wasn’t the pressure of those watching,” Bean mused. “Maybe it’s the pressure you put on yourself.”

“Given your history,” Sonny said, indirectly referencing Kenny. “It’s only fair to think you probably pressure yourself more than anyone else.”

“I mean, I don’t doubt that. I am my worst critic. Every time I watch that video, the one of the beam, I’m looking at my mistakes. Even when I watch the vault from the Finals, I’m looking at my rotations, not the landing. Maybe that added to it, I suppose.”

“It’s unfortunate,” Sonny said, offering him a sympathetic smile.

“You’re telling me. Four years, and for what?” Levi offered a humourless smile in return.

“See, I think so much of it has to be the pressure you put on yourself,” Bean said. “Listen to the way you talk about yourself. You got there, that’s a huge achievement.”

Levi shrugged. “It’s never enough though, is it?”

Sonny shook her head. “I suppose that brings us to, perhaps, the biggest question we actually have today.”

Levi waited, thinking he knew what it was going to be.

Bean was the one who asked it: “Are you going to Dauper?”

Levi ran a hand through his hair and glanced down at his booted foot, almost subconsciously, knowing the audience would pick up on it. “I want to. But…”

“Oh, don’t say that,” Sonny said, putting a hand to her chest.

“I had my first physio session this week,” Levi explained. “It wasn’t encouraging.”

“Not at all?” Bean asked.

Levi shook his head. “I don’t know what I might have expected… I want to go back to the Games and prove that what happened was a blip because… well, I think it _was_ a blip. That doesn’t happen to me often. I thought I was prepared for how much work I would have to put in to get there… I’m not afraid of hard work, I never have been, but there’s only so much one man can take.”

“I hate to hear you discouraged,” Sonny said through a sigh. “I can’t imagine anyone wants to see you like this.”

“Except from your competitors, of course,” Bean said with a wink.

Sonny laughed. Levi laughed through his nose, but he supposed that was true. With Levi gone, someone else could be on top. He supposed that was the feeling Erwin had spoken about when he said stepping back meant someone else could win.

He was trying not to think about Erwin, however, so he ignored that memory of the two of them, lying in bed, chatting idly, and focused on the interview at hand.

“You know, we have something for you today,” Sonny began, “we thought you might be discouraged, you’ve been away from the spotlight, from competitions for longer than you likely ever have been, and we thought that might be getting to you.”

“And we know the road to recovery is going to be long from here,” Bean continued. “So, we’ve compiled a little something for you. It’s just a four-minute clip that we’re going to play now for the first time for both you and those watching at home, and we just want it to be an encouragement. Is that okay?”

“Sure?” Levi agreed, not entirely sure what he was getting himself into.

“Okay, let’s play it,” Sonny said, gesturing to someone in the studio.

Levi glanced once at the monitor and saw that his face was in a little box in the corner of the screen so the audience could see his reactions, this main video now taking up most of the screen.

What played first pulled at Levi’s heart harder than he thought it would; it was a video, a little grainy and not a great quality, of Levi at eight years old competing in his first competition in Stohess, a junior district championship. He was wearing this blue singlet that showed his back because this was before he had gotten his first scar, and it was almost jarring to see his pale skin, so much of it unscarred.

He was walking across the floor, Kenny never accompanying him and telling him he needed to do this by himself, be alone because gymnasts were solo competitors, the idea of competing in a team insane to Kenny Ackerman. He was going over to the beam, though Levi couldn’t remember how much of the competition he had done at this point.

The commentary over this video said, “And here we have Levi Ackerman. He is eight years old, this is his first competition. He is originally from Souterrain, but he lives in Stohess now. We are told the beam is his favourite apparatus.”

The video followed him then as he performed his routine. He had been so little, but he had still performed quite a high difficulty mount onto it. Levi could only watch on as this young boy, tainted only by his mother’s untimely death, performed his heart out because he had loved this thing so much and he didn’t know anything else in the world but the beam and gymnastics, nothing else had ever mattered to him.

It was a similar story now, but he was tainted by so much more; by Kenny, by a childhood and teenagerhood that had been wrought with abuse and hardships, by a lack of social skills, by being gay in a society that still said he shouldn’t be, by breaking his leg in the Team Finals of an Olympic Games. Things had been so much simpler and he wondered what might be different now if his mother had not died, if he had performed gymnastics out of a pure love for it, not because he had also been taught that it was that or it was nothing.

A lot of clips like that followed, just short videos of Levi performing, of getting medals and trophies, of rising up through the years, doing higher difficulty moves. There was the shift from the backless singlets to the ones where he even had sleeves and they came up right to his neck as he was a preteen and teenager. That changed yet again when they showed clips from him being fifteen. The clips never focused on his back, but he caught sight of them often as he watched his younger self perform, over and over. There must have been so much footage of him, Levi was amazed the studio had poured and sifted through it all to find the ones they wanted.

They played him at seventeen, performing at the Pacific District Championships, showing that near perfect routine where he had broken the World Record with his beam performance. Levi watched this acutely, his seventeen-year-old-self doing so very little wrong, mounting the beam perfectly. The system had just changed, and Levi took that in his stride, wanting to take advantage of the new scoring system.

The previous World Record had been given to a gymnast named Ilse with a score of 16.133 and Levi, at the time, whilst not thinking that he was going to break it, always kept that score in his head as he performed.

Levi could see it in himself now as this clip played, showing how damn near perfect his routine was. The scars were there, prominent on his back for the entire routine, but the focus was, instead, on how wonderful that routine had been, how well Levi had been able to take advantage of that and perform so perfectly.

The applause and cheering that had filled the stadium still filled Levi sometimes, he still remembered it some nights. His bow was curt and he made his way over to his seat, Levi watching how acutely he was staring at the scoreboard, seeing that wishing in his own eyes.

When the score of 16.233 showed on the screen, Levi saw his face still, shocked by himself and by his ability. He still remembered that feeling. Whilst it had been great to have the Olympic Record to his name as well, it had been so shocking, so encouraging to see that score beside his name, to know that he had this title to his name, proving his own worth to the world, to himself.

He watched as his younger self smiled, a rarity that few ever witnessed in person. Levi didn’t often let himself feel pride, but he had felt it then.

The other clips followed his trajectory during the Trost Olympics and finished on his Olympic Record at the Games a few months ago. What followed then were shots of his fans, in the stalls as they watched, in the lines as they waited for tickets or to get in, wearing shirts with his nickname on, holding banners with his face on, posters that he had signed, apparently. There were clips of the fans jumping up and hugging each other when Levi had achieved the Olympic Record, when he had won first place or Gold at competitions, fans supporting him in every way possible.

If Levi hadn’t been so unprepared for something like this, so shocked to see his achievements play in succession, he might have very well cried. Four minutes was a long time to watch yourself on a screen that would be played to thousands of people, and Levi wasn’t sure quite what to do with himself once it finished.

He smiled, but he was sure it was filled with sadness as Sonny and Bean looked at him, the video fading to black.

“We, as your country, are so proud of you,” Sonny said, her eyes filled with tears, watering. “We want you back at those Games in Dauper so you can be proud of yourself too.”

Bean nodded along beside her.

“I want that too,” Levi said, quietly, because he so did.

Thankfully, it ended shortly after that.

Adverts were playing afterwards, but he could only thank Sonny and Bean shortly as he left the building and went back home. It was encouraging, but that didn’t make the journey to recovery any quicker or any easier.

The next physio sessions were just as difficult and infuriating. There might have been some progress, but it was still slow going and Levi just wanted to get back into training again. He had the support he needed, his team were right there, behind him, but it was still a frustrating journey to be on.

After a particularly difficult physiotherapy session, though they were all difficult if Levi thought about it, Levi had gone back to their gymnastics building as they were auditioning new members for their team. They did it once a year to replace any of the gymnasts who might have retired. They only had three spots open, but the turnout for auditions had been grand. Levi wished he could reschedule his physio session, but he wanted to commit to each one, and he trusted Farlan, Isabel, and Petra to report back to him on those he had missed.

When he entered the building, walking and trying to work his leg muscles, he took a seat next to Isabel who held up her fist. Levi ignored it and focused on the girl who was walking towards the rings. Whilst they did not require everyone to be perfect at everything, everyone needed to be able to perform on each piece of equipment adequately. Everyone would have their strongest apparatus, but they had to be able to perform on everything well enough that, if they got through to the Team Finals, they would be able to perform on multiple apparatuses to get high scores.

Levi asked who this girl was and was informed her name was Historia. So far, she had performed on the beam and each of the bars. She had the rings, the horse, and the vault to go before her audition was over.

Petra also informed him that, so far, they had five possible candidates who would make it to the second inspection that would be held tomorrow. With Levi’s help and another few to go, Levi wondered if that list would grow.

Levi liked to watch new talent, to see where they were and what kind of future they might have. Levi could see by how well they performed what their potential was, and that was always his favourite part. When he retired, he wondered if he would become a coach fulltime. It was the usual way athletes went and Levi didn’t think he would be any different.

Historia, whilst petite, had strength, like Levi. Her arms were not bulky and her shoulders were not broad, but she had a quiet power in her arms as she moved around using them, performing short demonstrations of techniques. She didn’t have long to show what she could do and so she had to make the most of the attention she was getting. Levi was impressed because her strength was a delicate kind of strength.

When she moved to the horse, it was the same story, though it was clear the pommel horse was not her strongest apparatus. She was good at it, as she would be required to be, but it wasn’t her best. There was still a strength to her arms, however, that Levi admired.

She was good at the vault. It was Levi’s weakest apparatus, and the world knew how true that was now. She vaulted through the air with ease, falling as though she floated. Her landing, although not perfect, was close to it and Levi didn’t think it would take much training for her to be at the standard they would need her to be for the Olympics. The fact he was even considering her for the Olympics boded well, and he added her to the list of possible candidates.

When the auditions were over, they told the seven candidates who they were considering to return tomorrow and then sent them home. With only three spaces to fill, Levi was glad they hadn’t taken on any more. It was difficult sending so many home when they had dreams that they wanted to fulfil, but Levi had suffered for his own dreams, so he knew their pain. The elite would get through, and to not be elite was an awful thing to hear but, unfortunately, it was the way life worked.

The next day, it would usually be Levi who was up there, with the new candidates, demonstrating the moves to see how well they picked up on routines and changes. However, with his leg only having been out of the boot for a couple of weeks, he handed the job to Isabel. He still told her what to perform, but it was up to her to demonstrate it.

Almost instantly, Levi wrote some off. Zofia, who was a strong gymnast, did not follow instruction well. Dina, who could perform the moves, showed them as rehearsed movements, not as if it flowed from their limbs. Of course, Levi wasn’t going to get rid of them instantly, he would let them finish the audition as that was only fair, but at least he could narrow it down further, lessen the numbers that he had to pay attention to.

Levi always paid particular attention when they were on the balance beam for it was his favoured apparatus. It was not Isabel’s, but she performed on it well enough. Levi knew he would be able to show the candidates better, that he could instruct them with demonstrations better than Isabel, but it was not his time. One day, in a few months, maybe he could, but pushing himself would not get him anywhere. This would take time, and Levi had to let it run its course, even if it was painstakingly long.

By the end of the day, Levi chose Historia, Marlene, and Rico with, of course, some discussion from his team. Farlan had wanted Hannes, and Petra thought Dina might be good, but Levi was their coach and his decision was final. The disappointment of those who did not make it was understandable, but Levi encouraged them to come back next year. Sometimes, it just wasn’t the right time. Maybe next year, it would be.

As Levi had been out of action, they had missed out on the Senior District Championships and, thus, had to wait until February for the District Cup, but it gave them plenty of time to perfect their routines. Of course, there were smaller championships to be a part of, and Levi might offer up some of his gymnasts to compete to see how the newer ones faired as a part of their team in competitions, and to give some of his other gymnasts the opportunity to compete. But the next big one was the District Cup, and Levi was, mainly, preparing his team for that.

He was planning his debut, if he even called it that, for either the Senior District Championships next year or the World Championships, depending on how prepared he felt. He had ten months to get his leg where it needed to be. Sure, if he didn’t make it for one of those, he still had plenty of time before the Olympics, but he needed practice and he had to compete again or his soul might die. With a goal in mind, he hoped it would spur on his recovery.

And, although he knew he shouldn’t, he watched Erwin swim at every competition he was at. There were many, and Erwin attended the bigger ones and the smaller ones. Sometimes, they weren’t even televised and Levi had to watch the livestreams from some website he had never heard of before or he had to catch the clips the day after, always hoping for interviews and a focus on Erwin.

There were a couple in winter, Erwin getting a bunch of placements that reaped rewards. Levi knew he shouldn’t do it, he knew it would make him angry and pine for someone who lived in a very different country, but he did it anyway. Now he had had a slice of Erwin, he wanted him all the time and, if he could not have him, he would watch him whenever he could, get a slice of him that way. It wasn’t enough to satiate him, but it would have to suffice.

Levi celebrated his birthday alone, well, as alone as he could with Isabel and Farlan getting him cake and telling him he should celebrate. They thankfully got the picture after the first few years, but they still got him cake and sang to him, even though he despised it.

Somehow, his fans had also figured out when his birthday was, so he got a lot of Tweets. He was polite enough to thank them through a generic tweet, one of the rare ones that he did a year, thanking everyone for their birthday messages, even if he did prefer it went ignored. He supposed he couldn’t exactly ask for that, they were supporting him after all.

In his notifications, he saw that Erwin had liked his Tweet where he had thanked everyone, and it felt oddly satisfying. It was ridiculous he felt anything at all over a social media interaction, but he did, and it was because he felt things for Erwin. Even the distance between them had not halted that.

There had been the occasional interaction like that over those few months between the Games and New Year, the like of a Tweet or an Instagram post. It was stupid, Levi thought, that he felt so set on liking each of Erwin’s Instagram posts, of which he did a lot, at least one a week, but it was nice. To see all his trophies and medals, to see him smiling with his friends, to see him posing in front of aesthetic scenery. He wondered if Erwin noticed him in his notifications, though that was a stupid thing to wish for.

As they prepared for the Senior District Cup, Levi continued to watch Erwin’s competitions, enthralled by the way he moved through the water. He wondered if Erwin would return for the Olympics in Dauper. Maybe he had gotten it out of his system. He had proved himself to the world, to his fans, to the people who questioned him, and he might not have to do it again.

A part of Levi hoped he would. Even though he had been cruel to him, sent him away as he offered his comfort, he wanted his companionship again. It was ridiculous to wish something that had been so fleeting to happen again, but Levi wanted it. He so rarely wanted anything like affection or attention, and, as he wanted it now, Levi wondered if he should chase it. He was not used to it and he usually pushed it away, but to crave it, it was a different feeling for him and he wondered if he should want it or if he should push it away again.

Farlan, Petra, and Historia were competing in the Senior District Cup and they travelled there in some expensive car Farlan had been gifted as a part of their sponsorship deal. Levi promised to do his exercises whilst away, but he wondered if he would be too distracted by the call of competition to do them. He knew he should. The weeks were always counting down and, whilst he had not announced it officially, he had told his closest friends his plans to compete. He could not let them down again.

His heart called to the feeling of competition as they pulled into the parking lot and Levi knew he would not be able to resist it for long. If he couldn’t do it in October, Levi was sure he wouldn’t be able to live any longer. It had already been so long and he didn’t know how to go any longer without competing in what he loved so dearly.

Inside, he met other gymnasts who asked after his wellbeing and discreetly, though it wasn’t all that discreet to Levi, asked what had gone so wrong at the Olympics. Levi said it had just been one of those days for all athletes had bad days, and he left it at that. Of course, Levi’s bad day had been atrocious and would go down in the history books as one of the worst performances for an Olympic gymnast, but, oh well. At least he could make a good comeback, that was the upside.

When the competition began, Levi was thankful because, not only could he be back where he belonged, but at least they could stop asking questions he didn’t want to answer. He watched his teammates perform, hoping each of them could get the medals they deserved. Of course, there were dozens and dozens and dozens of talented gymnasts who put the work in, and they all deserved rewards for that, but Levi would always cheer for his own team.

The rest of the countries were good opposition, Levi was relatively amazed Historia was keeping up with them so well. Petra was, of course, a force to be reckoned with for, when she wanted something, few things could get in her way. Farlan was also a talented gymnast, but he got in his own way at times, thinking he was better than he was. Levi had hoped doing competitions would help that, but it wasn’t always the case. He was good, you couldn’t doubt that, but he always behaved like he was the best. In championships, you couldn’t say you were the best until you had that first-place position.

Levi knew some of the cameras were on him, and he had seen some fans wearing shirts with his nickname on. It was difficult knowing how much acknowledgement he should give them. He wanted to focus on his team and on his recovery. Other than the interview he had done for Sonny and Bean, he didn’t plan on doing any more, not until at least it was time for the Olympics. He was glad his fans were still supporting him, and he would thank them at the Dauper Games by being healthy again and by getting the Gold.

By the end of the long, long day, Petra had gotten Bronze and Historia had gotten fourth, so close to a podium. Considering it was her first senior competition, Levi took it as a win, knowing she would go far. Farlan also got fifth. Considering they had just gone to the Olympics, they likely should have done better, but Levi was proud of them. They were still good gymnasts and, although they came away with one medal, it was enough. Levi didn’t doubt they were shaken by what had happened to him at the Games, and the media would probably put it down to that as well, but they had done well. One medal and two just off the podium wasn’t exactly bad.

A couple of days later, Levi was watching Erwin at some swimming championships, sweeping the board in almost everything, dominating the sport. Levi had, again, taken to liking the Instagram post he did afterwards, medals around his neck. Levi wondered how big his trophy cabinet must be with everything he had won. He felt like a teenager with a crush and this age of social media was almost cruel, allowing him to see Erwin pretty much whenever he wanted. It enabled his crush when, really, he should be hiding it far away.

With a few more weeks left of his physiotherapy, Levi would begin training again. He couldn’t believe he was almost nervous. Part of him knew it was because, if he got back on his beam or on the bars and he could no longer do it, he would be broken. If he got up there and his lithe body had left him, if his strength had gone, Levi would have nothing. His life, his goals, the reason he got up in the morning, it would have left him. He would have a team he could support, a team he could teach, but it wouldn’t be the same. He needed to be a gymnast until he retired and he would not let it be taken from him before his time was up, before it was fair.

He just had to hope the world was kind enough to let him get back on the balance beam and perform like he had since he was a little boy. He hoped the world could show him kindness now when it had not done so for twenty-two years.


	8. Moon

The day after his last physiotherapy session, Levi had gone to the gymnastics building alone after everyone had left. He needed it, to be alone with the apparatus so he could prepare himself to use it again. Whilst he wanted it and needed it, it was intimidating. He had been away for so long, and the last time he had been on one of the apparatus, he had broken his leg. He wondered if that would have any impact on him, if that would affect his performance from now on.

His leg would still need some work, but if he could compete, he was going to. Even if it was painful and frustrating, he would commit to it because it was his dream and it was the reason he lived. No amount of pain or suffering would keep him from it.

He traced the beam with his hand, securing in his knowledge he might be able to perform on it again. It had pained him to be away for almost a year, to not have stepped and walked across it for that length of time. That just wasn’t in his blood or the way he was raised. For a moment, he wondered what Kenny thought of his predicament, if he had thought it funny or thought Levi an idiot for even being able to do so badly when he had never done so badly before. But he did not care to think of Kenny when his soul might be filled again for a moment, so he forgot about him and climbed up onto the beam. Hopefully, he would get to the stage where he could flip onto it again, but, as it was his first time, he decided not to push himself.

Even though he had been away for months, his body remembered it fondly. He walked up and down the beam a few times, letting his feet recall the feel, letting his body remember his balance. He tried a few basic jumps, performed a couple of handstands and let his body roll back, flipping himself over gently. He eased himself back into it. His body was not as lithe as it had once been, but he would get it there.

When he dismounted, simply stepping off it and not trying anything else, he tried the rings for a moment, jumped onto the high bar, looked at the vault and avoided it. He knew he would have to get back on it eventually. For the Senior District Cup, he would have to perform on every piece of apparatus, and for the Olympics, well, of course he would have to perform on it again. He didn’t want it to defeat him. He knew it would never be his strongest, but he couldn’t let it get to him. He had to overcome his fear of it, he had to overcome his issues with it otherwise he would always fuck it up. It had a place in his head, and he needed to get rid of that.

However, that could come tomorrow. After collecting his bag, he made his way home, wondering how far he could push himself tomorrow when in front of everyone else.

Farlan drove him in his ridiculously fancy car the next morning, Levi’s nerves having increased. His team would be watching today, and he had to show them he could still perform, that he could still inspire them and be a successful gymnast. They had a couple of months before the Cup but, if he could not instil awe in them today, he wasn’t sure when he might.

When they got into the building, Levi felt all the eyes on him. He was wearing his practice gear, a simple blue singlet, which he had not worn in months, and people were ready to see him perform again. If they were meant to get practice of their own in, Levi did not see it happening. In fact, he was sure all eyes would be on him the entire time.

He stretched, easing his body back to its lithe state, and then climbed onto the balance beam. There would be no flipping onto it for a couple of weeks and Levi just had to deal with that. He felt the room watching him, he felt Petra hoping he would be fine, he felt Isabel’s belief in him, he felt Farlan’s concern, he felt Historia’s admiration. He could feel everything. It was a heavy pressure to put on his shoulders, but Levi had dealt with heavier.

As he got used to his balance, Levi tried some flips and turns, just easy movement. He would try routines next week. For now, all he was doing was getting used to the apparatus again. He tried jumps, showing his balance and skill, but he didn’t do anything more than that. He would have liked to dismount in proper fashion, and he felt he likely could succeed in it. But if he messed up, it would be highly embarrassing, and he would not deal with Petra nagging at him, telling him he was pushing himself when he didn’t need to. He didn’t need a medal at the Cup, but he would get one. He would make sure of it. He wanted Gold to prove he had not been faltered by his accident, and he would do everything he could to get it.

At long last, he could show Historia the moves he wanted her to perform on the rings. His arm strength had not been affected as he had kept up his training whilst his leg was rendered out of action. Of course, there was a lot of it that involved his legs, but a lot of it was his core, and his core was still strong.

He was not perfect, but it worked. He could do all the bars well, and he could perform basic pommel horse techniques, but he stayed away from the vault. He knew he would have to get there eventually, but he did not want to break his leg again after finally recovering.

He was far from where he had been at the Games, there was so much more practice he would have to do, but he ensured he would get there. With the support of his fans and of his team, he knew he would get there again. Even though all he could do was the basics right now, it was enough because he knew he would be the gymnast he had been before.

There had been so many times where he just thought about giving up, thinking it impossible to get his leg where it had been, but he had pushed past it and he was here. It was still going to take a lot of work, but he could get there, he believed in it, in his goals.

It was a touch tedious, coming in and doing only the basics, but it was routine. That constant movement would stretch his body, push it to where it had been before. With each day, he got closer to where he had been, and it would just be that constant routine, that constant movement that would make it better, make him better, make his goals easier to achieve.

A week later, he was doing routines, not the finished ones he wanted for the Cup, but basic ones, ones they showed the new recruits. It wasn’t what he was capable of but, if he pushed himself and messed up, he would never forgive himself. He still avoided the vault, but he knew, next week, he would have to combat it if he ever wanted to fully recover.

One of Erwin’s competitions was coming come to Souterrain, and Levi wondered if he should take the time off to see it, in person, where he could watch Erwin and not be forced to watch him through a screen where the cameras had to give every swimmer fair screen time. He wasn’t sure. So much of him was pulling towards the idea of seeing him in person, in being able to talk to him, maybe. It would be so easy and it wouldn’t take too much time out of his training.

However, he knew he shouldn’t. He could not allow for any distractions from his recovery or from his training. If he went to see Erwin, they would likely get up to things and then it might not just be a day out of training, it might be a week or more. Levi couldn’t afford to give that kind of time up.

The distraction from Erwin came when he had decided to use the vault again. For the days running up until that decision, Levi had struggled to sleep. He had tossed and turned, dreaming of broken bone and lost dreams.

It had become this thing, this awful reminder of what could, so easily, go wrong. He knew he had to overcome it. He couldn’t compete in the Team Finals or the Individuals if he never performed on it again. No matter what, it was something he had to use again, but it had become such an obstacle for him that even the thought of it made his leg throb.

He had been staring at the vault for a good ten minutes, willing his body forward though his mind was stopping him. He was aware of the eyes on him, aware of what they were willing him to do, but his mind was still set on a summer a year ago, where his dreams had crumbled out of his hands. He had a new dream now, a new Olympics to aspire to, and it was not entirely helping.

The plan was to just jump off it and land. He didn’t have to do intricate flips or twists or tumbles, he didn’t have to land perfectly, all he had to do was jump and then land. And yet, as base as that was, his mind still wasn’t allowing him to do it. Levi wondered if he should give up on all his dreams.

Isabel came up to him, nudging his shoulder with her hand. “How’s it going, bro?”

“Mm,” Levi hummed, staring at it as if that might make it easier.

“Do you know what’s funny?” Isabel asked and Levi did not respond. “A lot of people have this issue with a mental block, but you have both the mental block _and_ the physical block. It’s, like, funny.”

“Hilarious.”

She nudged his shoulder again. “Just jump.”

“What if I break my leg?” Levi asked, quietly, voicing only half of his concerns.

“You won’t,” Isabel assured. “If you’re not ready, debut again next year. No one will fault you for doing that.”

“I need this.”

“Then jump.”

Levi looked at her, her smile wide and bright, her eyes more knowledgeable than her aura gave off. She nudged him once more and Levi glared at her before his eyes softened.

“Just jump. Don’t think about it. You’re always worse when you think about it.”

Isabel took a dramatic step back and gestured for Levi to continue.

It was always a lot easier to say, ‘don’t think about it’ than it was to do just that.

He stared for a good while longer but, if he didn’t do it now, he would never do it. And he needed to do it, he wanted to see what happened.

He tried letting his mind go blank, thinking of nothing but what was happening in that moment. His run was fine, as long as he let his mind stop trying to process a thousand things and just focusing on putting one foot in front of the other and the speed he needed, he was sure he could manage it.

When he was in the air, he did a double twist, knowing he probably shouldn’t have, but it just came naturally to him. That was a part of it, a part of letting his mind go blank and just doing what came to him.

In the moment, he thought of very little except trying to keep his form okay. It didn’t have to be perfect, it didn’t even have to be great, it just had to be okay so they could go from there, work on it. He kept his arms tucked in and let his body move with the momentum because that had always been what came naturally to him.

His landing wasn’t perfect, but he didn’t break his leg, so he took that as a win.

There was some gentle applause, and Levi sent them small smiles. It was a light victory, a small one, but it was a victory. Levi hadn’t known if he would ever be able to overcome such a thing, and he had done just that. It might have only been small, but it was a step in the right direction. There was still a way to go, but he would get there. He wanted his medals, and he would get them. He hoped he might be able to attain one or more from the Senior District Cup, but he wasn’t going to pin everything on that. He wasn’t sure how he would deal with his disappointment if he didn’t get there but he just had to remain hopeful.

When he got home, he saw Erwin had swept the board with his swimming, and Levi felt victorious on both their parts; Erwin had literally won things, and Levi had overcome his biggest obstacle. Levi would have congratulated Erwin in a multitude of ways if he had been around, but that wasn’t exactly an option at the moment.

Instead, he liked his Tweets and his Instagram posts whenever they were there to like, and he rehearsed his heart out.

As the weeks passed, the Senior District Cup dawned on them. Levi’s restless nights grew worse, his insomnia consuming him. Somehow, the media had gotten a hold of the information that he was going to compete again, which brought articles and articles, speculating what this meant, and the pressure was getting to him more and more each day.

His fans were still being supportive, but all the reports and the articles that wondered if Levi could ever be as good as he had been did not help him. So many said that, after an injury like that, he could never be the gymnast he had been. Others said it was a shame he was even trying.

There were the positive ones, of course, ones that wished him luck and assured the world that Levi could be the great Levi Ackerman, gymnast of the world, again, but Levi found himself focusing on the negative a little more. He was trying to be more positive in his day to day life, he was trying to congratulate himself for all the victories he had right now, but articles and questions like that fired at his Twitter every day did nothing to help that.

They had hired a coach to take them to Jinae the night before, and, as Levi put his bag in the underhand carriage, Farlan came up to him. The others, most of them having qualified to compete, had gone to their seats and were waiting, but Levi wondered what Farlan needed to say to him in private before they left.

“How are you doing?” Farlan asked, closing the door and locking their bags in safely.

“As well as I can be.”

“If it… If… If it goes badly…”

“Badly, how?”

“I don’t know… I know how hard you are on yourself, and I think you want a medal from this, so…”

“You don’t think I can get one?”

“I don’t mean it like that,” Farlan recovered, running a hand through his hair and sighing. “I just mean, this is your first competition since it happened, it’s been over a year. If you don’t get on the podium, just know that it doesn’t mean you can’t _ever_ get on the podium.”

Levi nodded.

“I just wanted to let you know that.” Farlan smiled. “We will support you whether you get Gold or last place.”

“You think I’ll get last place?” Levi asked with a raised brow.

Farlan rolled his eyes. “I’m glad to see your sense of humour didn’t get broken along with your leg.”

Levi nodded again and they climbed onto the coach, Levi ready to face competition again and wondering what would become of him when he got there. He wondered if he would get last place, he wondered if would forgive himself if he did. He likely wouldn’t for he knew himself well, so he would have to place, he would just have to.

Most of his teammates slept through the journey, but Levi was up, thinking and overthinking. He had gone on his phone, looked through Instagram, looked through Twitter, but it had made him feel worse, somehow. With his insomnia acting up, Levi put it down to stress and pressure. He wasn’t sure if he felt the weight of expectation because he wasn’t sure what kind of expectations were on him, if there were any at all. People knew what had happened, people knew recovery was difficult, he was sure, however he performed, people would accept it, but he wondered if he would accept it himself.

When they got to their hotel, they trailed off to bed, all exhausted and needing their rest. Levi slept as best as he could but, as always, he could have used more hours than he got. The sun rose far too quickly, and Levi wondered what the day might bring.

The next morning, Levi felt peculiar in his competition singlet for he hadn’t worn his competing one in over a year. It still fit him, of course, but it felt odd on his skin, his body no longer used to it. He had better get used to it, he supposed, because he would be performing in it in a few hours.

He was quiet as they ate breakfast and spoke about opponents. The others likely noticed it, but they said nothing. They could understand, and Levi was glad for them, forever noticing a hundred things he should thank them for in some way.

The journey to the gymnasium made Levi bilious. So often before, he was used to feeling an excitement or a passion or a nervous feeling he could control. This was consuming him because he knew everyone was watching him. When the cameras turned on, they would watch him too, and Levi would feel their eyes burn into him. Particularly on the beam, his strongest apparatus, and on the vault, where it had all gone so horribly wrong.

Before the competition began, many of their competitors came over to greet them, to wish Levi luck. Some of them pointedly ignored him, and Levi was fine with that. He knew his reputation, he knew what it had been, he knew what he should have won, and it would be a lot better for his competitors if he did not return.

_Well, fuck them,_ Levi thought. They should fear him as a competitor, and Levi would show them that today.

As the Cup only did the Event Finals, Levi didn’t have to worry about disappointing his team this time. It was all for him. Of course, he still supported his teammates and he wanted them to do well, but he didn’t have to think about them as he competed himself. If he fucked up, it was on him, and it was reassuring to know that.

His first apparatus was the rings. After stretching, glad he could finally do the splits again after weeks of practice, Levi stepped up to them, aware of the cameras and the phones, aware of what the commentators might be saying about his comeback. He thought of none of those as he jumped up to hold onto the rings, ready to perform again.

There was such a surge of energy that pulsed through him as he pulled himself up, as he moved himself in steady motions using the rings as his only support. He loved competing, he loved gymnastics. Nothing gave him the pull like performing, like gymnastics allowed him. It sent a thrum through his body, willing him to compete and perform, testing his strength and his skill. He always wanted to push himself further, prove himself to anyone who might be watching, and he thrived off of it.

He pushed himself further, knowing he had to prove himself and knowing he had to show the world it had only been a blip. He was still a gymnast, and a fucking good one at that. If anyone doubted him, he wanted to prove them wrong.

He had spent weeks and weeks pushing himself to get to where he was. He wanted to be even better than he had been, he wanted to surpass his previous skills and prove that you could come back from hell and be better than before. Perhaps that would still take time, but he didn’t want to give up. He lived for gymnastics, he lived for being able to show people he was a great gymnast, and he was going to prove that with every apparatus he performed on today.

When he dismounted, he bowed towards the judges and retreated to his seat, wanting to know how well he had done. By the looks on his teammates' faces, he had done well. Isabel slapped him on the back and Farlan smiled his widest smile. Levi had done well, he just needed to continue that streak, and he needed to allow himself to believe that he had done well.

He scored 15.233. He had done better but, considering where he had been, it was a great score. He wasn’t sure if it would get him a medal considering those who came to these things were the elite, but it shouldn’t place him too far down. These people were the elite of the elite, it was how they got here. As long as Levi showed he could still compete in every aspect of the competition and get a couple of medals on perhaps the beam and one or two of the bars, he would show the world he was not lost. He didn’t, technically, have to do the vault, but he had decided to do it. It would not best him. Not now he had come so far.

On the pommel horse, he scored 15.4 and he had been leading the scores until Farlan had scored 15.866. He might still get a medal, he might not. But it was still an impressive score for someone who had broken their leg the previous year.

When he got to the parallel bars, he used everything he had. He performed his routine to perfection, barely hesitated. He kept his form and he let his mind go quiet. Every part of him knew he could do this well, knew he could show the world he was still a competitor and that he didn’t deserve to be written off because of a bad day. It was the worst day such a time could have fallen on, but he would not be left behind because of it.

His score was 15.9 and it pushed him to the top of the leader board. There had been cheers and people had screamed his name. It was such an overwhelming feeling, Levi might have teared up if the vault was not next. He might just get a medal today and, even though he had said in his mind he would always get one, having it solidified was sorely overwhelming.

However, he forgot all that when it was his turn for the vault. He stayed still, smothering his hands in chalk for a long while as he stared it down. He was sure the room had gone silent, but that might have been in his head. He knew what the commentators would be saying, what everyone would be thinking. A lot of people had turned out to see this, to see Levi take on the beast who had taken him down the last time he had competed. He knew he would be just as intrigued if he was in someone else’s shoes, watching someone take on something that had crushed their dreams before. It did not help his mind, however.

Lining himself up, he took a deep breath. He had done it so many times, he knew what he was doing. So far, he hadn’t messed it up in practice, why should he have to here? He just needed to quiet his mind and steady his breathing. He could do this. He could do this. He could do this.

And he did it.

He rotated, held his form, and landed with barely a wobble. If he was honest, he thought it might be his best performance ever. Sometimes, it took you going to your worst place to get to your best place afterwards

His nerves subsided when he saw his score of 15.516. It was his personal record for he had never scored above 15.1 before, and he felt his body well with excitement and possibility. It pushed him further, it made him want to succeed even more. Whatever pull had led him previously, he felt it tenfold now.

The horizontal bar had put him in first place with 15.666 until someone from Karanes pushed him into second where he stayed for the rest of the competition. The uneven bars put him straight into third place with 15.333 and that was where he stayed. With three medals secured unless someone pushed him from his place, Levi felt his chest swell.

The beam was his last piece of apparatus, and his nerves built up again. The balance beam was his favourite, his strongest apparatus. He had proven himself with the others, he just needed to show he could still do this, he could still perform on the beam like he always had. It caused nerves to pummel through him, but he could do this, he knew it.

From the second he performed his G-Grade round-off, Arabian salto onto the beam, he knew he had it. Sometimes, you knew from your first movement whether you were going to be perfect or if you were going to be off. Levi knew he had it. It was within reach, he just had to grab it.

His connected dance movements came first, his sheep jump into his split jump with full turn were succinct. He transitioned from one into the other, a smooth movement without hesitation to garner him the most points. He felt his form, keeping his body balanced and upright, wanting this to be perfect. He never called things perfect because there was always something that could be done better, but he would allow himself to believe this was as great as he could be and, in some ways, doing as great as you can meant being perfect.

Following this, he performed his E-Grade triple turn on one foot, keeping his hands up high and letting his balance be the focus. He knew his form looked great. Whenever he watched clips back of himself and he felt he had done particularly well on the beam, he always thought he looked kind of elegant. It wasn’t something he felt he had been able to commend himself on before, but now, as he was trying to be better at allowing himself to be congratulated on the things he did well, he thought he looked good, his body lissom and performing like he always wanted it to.

Linking his next three acrobatic movements, which were a flic flac with half twist after hand support into a Gainer back handspring with full twist into a tuck side salto, Levi felt he had done them well. There was a touch of imperfection here and there, toes not entirely pointed and a touch of a wobble, but another part of allowing himself to be congratulated was allowing himself to make mistakes as well. It was still going to be a while before he truly got to a place where he was comfortable with either, but the journey was sometimes just as important as the goal itself.

He connected his next two moves as well, an aerial cartwheel across the beam into a layout back salto to two feet. Again, it wasn’t entirely perfect, but Levi was allowing himself to be okay with that, to accept the things that went wrong and be okay with them. It wasn’t just about moving past those issues, it was about accepting them, and Levi had never done much of the latter.

He connected another two dance elements, a triple turn on one foot into a switch split leap with half turn, moving him onto the end of the beam where he needed to be. He performed them well and he wanted to keep that momentum going, which he did with a split leap into a front pike salto with a take off from one foot, placing him in the middle of the beam. With another connection into a front pike salto with take off from one foot to land in arabesque, he had gotten his connection elements in to give him a higher grading.

He performed a free aerial walkover forward to two feet to get him comfortably at the end of the beam. With a steadying breath, he performed a jump backwards with half twist to walkover forward with step-out into back handspring with full twist before hand support. This led into a final switch leap with a quarter turn to straddle that placed him neatly at the end of the beam so he could perform his final acrobatic series.

His final acrobatic movement, a jump forward with half twist to salto back piked placed him nicely at the other end of the beam in preparation for his dismount. With only the slightest of hesitations, he performed his last movement, his dismount, which was another G-Grade, Arabian double front.

In his last moments of flipping, he wondered why he had ever doubted himself. He felt his love for his sport thrum through him. This was where he belonged, where he thrived, no part of his life existed without his gymnastics. Nothing in him lived unless he had his gymnastics in his life, and he felt like he truly was back where he belonged, particularly as he didn’t wobble whatsoever when he landed, arms up and back straight.

He scored 15.866. It wasn’t a record, he didn’t break any of the records he had made, but it pushed him straight into first place, a large gap between him and Mikasa from Shiganshina who was in second. Sure, he had done better, he had broken well into 16 multiple times, broken the Olympic Record last year, but he had done it. He had proved to everyone, to himself, he was not done yet, and it would be a long time before he was.

Getting four medals around his neck, two Gold and the other a Silver and a Bronze, Levi felt a pride for himself he did not often feel. It was not something he often felt for Kenny had taught him to feel nothing but a want to be better. Even when he had gotten Gold or first place, Kenny said there was always room for improvement. Whilst that was true, it did not mean he could not feel proud of himself for what he had done. Things didn’t need to be perfect for them to be deemed worthy of pride.

The rest of his team, winning an accumulative seven medals between them, were eager to celebrate. Levi was not a fan of drinking and celebrating, but he went with them anyway because he thought, maybe, part of his success was their support, and he wanted to be more integrated with them than he had ever been before. He had a few drinks, accepted their praise, and remembered to feel proud of himself, even when he did mess up because, even then, he could come back. And he already had.


	9. Sun

The next year brought more medals and, with that, there came interviews. Most of them were at the side-lines, just after he had competed or won something. Those were fine, they lasted about thirty seconds to a minute.

It was the scheduled ones that were the issue, not that they were really that much of an issue, just a hassle really. They could take up a whole morning, and Levi would much rather be practising. They went by just fine, Levi glad that he could have his team with him for some of them because they found this part a whole lot easier than he did and he was trying to rely on their support more often. Although Levi appreciated what they were for and what they meant and why they were a thing, it still wasn’t really _his_ thing.

People were saying it was the best comeback in history, people said it was a miracle, they said he was performing better than he had in his entire gymnastics career. Levi decided not to listen to any of that because it would get him distracted. The Olympics were closer with every day that went by and Levi promised his team he would get them there again. Eld didn’t think he would make it that far, he was thinking of retiring soon, and Levi felt guilty he had taken Eld’s chance away at an Olympic Gold medal, but he had gotten some medals throughout his career and he was an esteemed gymnast. Unfortunately, that would have to do, but Levi would dedicate the medals he won at the Olympics, and he promised them many, to Eld.

With the Pan District Championships down, his team winning Silver, Levi getting Silver in the Individual Event, and then two Golds, three Silvers, and two Bronzes and placing in every single event, they had nothing now until the Senior District Cup next year. With most competitions finishing for the winter, they were invited to a winter gathering, a gala of sorts, for all the gymnasts who had competed in the Mitras Games, being held at Mitras. As there were so many, they were having a few different days of events and Levi would admit to no one that he went because the gymnasts were invited on the same day that the swimmers were invited. He was going for his team, not for any other reason.

He had gone shopping for suits with Farlan, and Farlan had decided on the flashiest thing he could find whilst Levi had settled for a more sombre number. It was a black-tie event, so Levi couldn’t look too sombre, but he refused to wear the ridiculous things Farlan wore to flaunt their sponsorship deals.

He took Petra as his date, not because he wanted to date her but because these things were better when you came with a date. He did not want the media to speculate he had suddenly become straight or bisexual by bringing her, but Farlan had insisted on bringing Isabel, and Petra was pleasant company. Even further, if he had brought Farlan as his date and people speculated _they_ were dating, Levi would have thrown up violently. There was no way in the world he would date Farlan because Farlan was far too much of an idiot to be datable.

There were athletes from every sport already there when they arrived, most of them having ridiculous cars. Levi felt he spent his money on smart things, like funding sports academies and donating to charities that helped kids get into sports programmes. Occasionally, he bought better gear and updated their apparatuses, but he would never spend it on ridiculous cars or stupid suits.

Sure, a couple of deals over the years had given him a phone to flaunt, and there was the occasional sunglasses deal, but those were given to him as part of the sponsorship. He never spent any of his money to get those things. It just wasn’t the way he had ever thought about spending his money. It screamed you were flaunting, to Levi anyway, and he never wanted anyone to think he was that kind of guy.

It was another reason he never publicised how much he donated. He wasn’t doing it because he wanted it to be recognised but because he felt it was just the kind of thing he should do. Having grown up in the circumstances he had, he wanted to give the next generations a better start, one that wouldn’t be like Levi’s, and he did that because he should do that, not because he wanted the fame and publicity.

Once inside, Levi scouted out the crowds though, if he was honest, he didn’t recognise a whole lot of them. During the Games in Mitras, he had kept mainly to himself, occasionally divulging in his team’s company, and then Erwin’s. He didn’t particularly keep up with other sports either, so it was no surprise that he didn’t recognise anyone else.

There was free champagne and a bar as well that stretched along the majority of the wall on the righthand side. If Levi had come here wanting to see Erwin, which he was still denying in his mind, it was going to be quite the task finding him.

Petra went off to talk to some gymnast from Utgard and Levi didn’t mind being by himself. The others were mingling and Levi was looking out for someone who might not even be there. He would have been invited to come on this night, but no one had to come to these things. There were so many reasons Erwin might decide he should stay at home, and Levi did not blame him for that, even if he wanted to see him.

Levi remained though, for a few hours, just in case, and because it was good to show his face at events like these. Although the world knew he was not a social creature, it was good to get out and talk others, even if he had come here to see one person, though he would vehemently deny that if anyone asked. Not that anyone would.

He supposed, if Erwin wasn’t here, there were plenty of other athletes he could take back to his hotel. A lot of them looked at Levi like they might want to throw his clothes against a wall and, although some of that population was female, there were a lot of males there too.

Levi wasn’t exactly fussy about who he fucked, as long as they weren’t into weird shit. At least, not into the weird shit when they first had sex. If it got to the time Levi wanted to leave and Erwin had not appeared before him, there were viable options that he could take advantage of, have a meaningless fuck and then carry on until he, possibly, saw the object of his current desire at the next Games. It still wasn’t confirmed whether Erwin was going, but Levi could hope.

The night grew older and Levi gave up on his hopes of seeing that blonde lump walking through the crowds. It was only ten, which was still early by these standards, but Levi always left early. He only turned up at these things, usually, to show that he could be civil and then leave. Kenny had taught him to see gymnastics and nothing else, socialising really hadn’t been a part of his life and he did not do it well. Kenny had kept him from parties and celebration, though he supposed he had been too young to go out celebrating when he was in Kenny’s care as it was.

Even so, when he had been the right age, it was still difficult for him to celebrate the way normal folk did. After the success of his first Olympics, his team had gone out to celebrate and Levi had gone to bed because he just didn’t know what it meant to go to parties.

He still didn’t, but he went to them now because he felt obliged to. If he didn’t, he would only ever leave the house for practice, and that didn’t seem like a great way to live.

The other parties he had gone to, celebrations, events like these, they usually ended in sex if Levi thought back to them. He looked good in his tailored suit and people made it obvious that they thought that. Levi liked to take advantage of those situations when they arose because it wasn’t all that often he allowed himself sex. He got enough exercise as it was.

He saw Oluo and Gunther then and they came over to join him. He still wasn’t great at talking to them, but they had been on his team as he grew up in Stohess, so it was only right that he talk to them when he had the opportunity.

They each shook hands and greeted as people who were familiar to each other but had lost a bit of that connection. Levi’s Stohessen had never left him, and it was nice being able to talk in it. Even though the reminders of Stohess were painful because they were so intrinsically linked to Kenny, it was pleasant being able to talk in another language for a moment.

“How are you feeling nowadays?” Gunther asked once they had gotten the formalities out of the way.

“Just fine,” Levi answered. “It doesn’t hurt at all anymore.”

“We thought we’d lost you,” Oluo said, though Levi thought Oluo would probably like that. When they had been thirteen, he had overheard Oluo telling Gunther that he wished Levi would go away so he could be number one, which then involved Gunther telling him that he would never be number one and that he was just envious of Levi. Levi had then noticed Oluo always watching and trying to imitate him and then being offish whenever he was near, but Levi had never mentioned it.

“Not yet,” Levi said with a s mile.

“Does that mean Dauper’s in your grasp?” Gunther asked.

“I hope so. What about you guys?”

“I don’t know if I’ve got another one in me,” Gunther said. “Oluo hasn’t either, but he won’t admit it yet.”

“That’s because I could go to the next two Games if I wanted,” Oluo defended. This was highly unlikely given he was older than Levi, but he didn’t comment on that.

“Eld’s thinking he won’t make it to Dauper either,” Levi said, that idea always making him feel guilty.

“Oh, really?” Gunther asked. “Is he here?”

“He should be, somewhere. This place is huge,” Levi said.

Gunther laughed.

“Even bigger for someone like you,” Oluo joked.

Levi rolled his eyes.

He went to make a comment, but Gunther spotted Eld across the room.

“We should go say hi,” Gunther said. “I’ll take Oluo away, put you out of your misery.”

“Thanks,” Levi said, though it was with a smile. “It was nice to see you guys.”

“And you,” Gunther said, and he dragged Oluo away.

Deciding that was enough socialising for the day, Levi went to cross the room so he could bid his teammates goodbye.

However, he was stopped by a voice that was as deep and as lovely as they came.

“Hello, Little Levi,” the voice greeted from behind him and Levi almost started.

He also almost turned around and throttled the guy because he detested few things like he detested his nickname.

Levi turned around slowly, craning his neck because Erwin was stood so close. He didn’t realise how much he had missed him, and the two years apart washed over him. It shouldn’t have meant as much as it did. It was some fucking because the Olympics handed out condoms, allowing the athletes to fuck because they couldn’t control themselves around each other.

But it had meant something, and Levi knew it.

“Here I was, thinking we could be friends, and now I have to throttle you,” Levi said, his humour dry though he very nearly smiled.

Erwin smiled, and it made his lips so warm and inviting. “Fancy seeing you here.”

Levi was not used to warmth.

He certainly didn’t expect it at any point in his life and, so, he didn’t know what to do with warmth when it was given to him. He did not expect it from Erwin after the way he had treated him in the hospital.

“It is a sports gala,” Levi replied. If he was going to attempt to be cold, he failed, but he supposed he wouldn’t know how to be cold towards Erwin.

“I think I noticed,” Erwin said, and Levi wanted him in his bed right there and then, but he decided he probably shouldn’t say that in a crowded room.

The pause Levi felt was heavy. He wanted to apologise, say something and rectify the way they had parted. Sure, it hadn’t been a romantic few weeks, it hadn’t been love, it hadn’t been anything. But Levi felt a weight to it, and he hoped Erwin felt it as well.

Levi cleared his throat.

Erwin waited, the smile on his lips patient.

“About the hospital…” Levi began. It was difficult trying to voice any more because he hated admitting he was wrong. He was trying to be better at being okay with his mistakes, but he had prepared himself to do that with gymnastics, not with people, not with conversation.

Erwin nodded slowly, perhaps not understanding.

“I, uh…” Levi cleared his throat again. Gymnastics was so much easier than conversation, than people. He found performing in front of thousands so much easier than talking to someone when there was a weight to that conversation. Levi was not gifted with the art of conversation. “About what I said… I would like to, um, I would like to apologise.”

“For what?” Erwin asked, the music and the chatter nothing to them.

“For what I said to you… About what…” Levi sighed. “Don’t make me fucking say it.”

Erwin laughed lightly. “I don’t remember exactly what you said, but I don’t fault you for it.”

Levi looked at him, vulnerable for a moment. “You don’t?”

“You had just broken your leg at the Olympics on live television and your future was at stake.” Erwin smiled. “I probably would have said some hurtful things as well. I don’t recall much about what you said, nothing prominent enough to stay with me for two years.”

Levi couldn’t be sure that was the case. He felt sure Erwin was just saying this to be nice, to accept Levi. But if he was saying that, then maybe it would be okay, maybe it didn’t have to be an issue between them. That would be such a great relief if that was the case.

“Well…” Levi was not comfortable with a lot of things in life, and easy acceptance was one of them. “You didn’t deserve it.”

“I am sure I did,” Erwin said. “I do not doubt that I am infuriating.”

“You’re not,” Levi refuted, clearing his throat again. “You’re not infuriating.”

Erwin nodded, smiling. “Thank you.”

Levi nodded as well, unsure of his eye contact.

He laughed then and Levi stared at him, unsure of what exactly was happening. He had wanted to see him but he supposed he hadn’t thought about exactly what that would entail, about the conversation and delicacy that came with that.

“I missed you, Levi.”

“Why?”

“Because you are someone worth missing.”

Levi swallowed, feeling the room come back to him, overwhelming him for a moment.

“Do you have a hotel room we might go back to, Levi?” Erwin asked.

“You didn’t get one?” Levi asked. “You sleeping in your fucking car?”

Erwin laughed. “I do recall you getting a better room than me, typically.”

“All those medals haven’t gotten you above floor four?”

“You know about my medals?”

Levi shrugged, fearing he had been discovered.

“Interesting.”

“Let’s go to my room,” Levi said, and he turned around, knowing Erwin was following him.

The walk up to the hotel was relatively short, and the elevator ride up was even quicker with Erwin pressing him up against the mirror and claiming his lips as his own. It was pleasant, being able to feel the muscle and planes of Erwin’s body as he pushed into him, running his hands down to Levi’s ass and squeezing at the pert flesh that was hidden beneath his tailored suit.

For the years they had been apart, Levi had imagined kissing him again, but dreams and wishes were nothing on the reality. His lips were fierce and wanton, and so much of Levi wanted to wrap his legs around Erwin’s hips so he might be carried to his room. Of course, that could not ever happen for the hotel halls would be busy, but he could dream.

When they reached Levi’s floor, they managed to detach themselves from each other before the doors opened, just in case someone was waiting and saw how ravenous they were for each other. Levi led them out of the elevator and down the corridor to his room, relieved when they could shut the door and be alone. The world was gone, no longer their witness, and Levi wanted Erwin in every way possible because he had not touched him in far too long and his hands were craving his tanned skin.

Levi did not hesitate in grabbing Erwin by his tie and pulling him down so they could kiss again. Erwin hummed into his lips and Levi revelled in the feeling of Erwin’s mouth on his for he had missed it so much. Erwin’s hands went to Levi’s hips, pulling their bodies together, and Levi bit into Erwin’s bottom lip, overwhelmed for a moment by what was happening and how Erwin could be his again, even if just for a short while.

Erwin walked Levi backwards towards the bed, bodies still touching and mouths connected. Erwin hummed again as Levi set his hands to trying to undo Erwin’s tie without looking. He had enough practice and he undid the knot with ease, his delicate but strong fingers working hard to get Erwin naked.

Their lips had to part as Levi pulled it out from around his collar and so he could put it on the bedside table they were beside. But he got back to kissing him straight afterwards because his lips were warm and wet, and Levi ravished them.

Erwin pushed Levi’s jacket off his body, and Levi was going to bend down to pick it up so he might fold it, but Erwin had started on his belt buckle. Previous thoughts subsided in favour of unbuttoning Erwin’s shirt. They were then ravenous as they tore their clothes from each other, wanting the other bare so they might be together again as they had been before.

When they were both naked, Erwin gently pushed Levi onto the bed, and he pushed himself onto his elbows and watched as Erwin climbed onto the bed and set himself just above Levi’s cock. Levi made a satisfied noise as his cock swelled, wanting Erwin’s lips and mouth and tongue all over him.

Erwin set his mouth to Levi’s inner thigh and Levi moaned, relaxing into the bed, closing his eyes and focusing purely on the sensations caused by Erwin’s hot mouth.

“I watched you perform,” Erwin drawled between mouthing at Levi’s sensitive skin.

“What?” Levi asked, breathless.

“At the District Cup,” Erwin said. “And the Championships.” He sucked a spot into Levi’s thigh and Levi moaned from the depths of his throat, hands in fists by his side. Levi cursed in arousal.

“You watched?” Levi asked between pants.

“Mhm,” Erwin mumbled against his skin, which sent a sensation so strong through Levi’s body, he cursed again. “I wanted to be there in person… to see you… but it didn’t work out… but I still watched you as it was streamed.” Erwin moved to the other thigh and mouthed at that one, using tongue and teeth to suck bruises into his pale skin.

“Why?” Levi asked, barely able to speak, cock leaking against his stomach.

“Because I like to watch you perform,” Erwin said after sucking a gorgeous bruise into Levi’s thigh. “You’re beautiful to watch.”

Levi hummed, Erwin moving to Levi’s cock and licking long and slow up his length before enveloping his head between his lips and sucking gently. Levi cursed into the quiet of the hotel, in love with Erwin’s mouth.

The idea Erwin had been watching him over their time apart did wild things to Levi’s mind and body. Erwin had paid attention to him when he had been cruel the last time they had seen each other, and Erwin had said he enjoyed watching him perform. It made Levi curse in arousal again.

As Erwin took Levi’s length into his mouth, Levi hummed and keened, glad he had come to the gala on the chance of seeing Erwin again. Erwin sucked his cock, moving his head up and down and swallowing against him. Levi would have writhed, but he felt too relaxed, Erwin’s hands on his hips calming him, and he felt almost worshipped by Erwin’s tongue as he licked and suck up his solid length.

Levi paid so much attention to the wetness of his mouth, to how soft his lips and tongue were against him. He swallowed against him, taking Levi’s precum down his throat. Lazily, Levi moved one hand down to Erwin’s hair and pushed his fingers through the soft, blonde locks, his hand following the leisurely movement of Erwin’s head.

It was lazy and slow, Erwin taking him into his throat, swallowing languidly against him, wetting his length, slicking his cock with his warm tongue. He watched Levi at times, but Levi only looked at him at the occasional interval, too relaxed, the bed soft beneath his naked body.

Erwin sucked him deeper, his hands warm on Levi’s skin, his tongue working lazily against the sensitive veins. He would pull off almost entirely sometimes, just so he could suck and lick at the head, licking across his slit and then going to kiss sloppily down his wetted length. It was all too leisurely, too sweet and almost romantic, but Levi didn’t want to stop it. He had missed Erwin, missed the way his lips and mouth worked like this, and he wanted Erwin in whatever form he was willing to give him tonight.

Before Erwin made him come from sucking against him, Erwin stood and stooped to grab his wallet where he pulled out a condom. Levi would have raised his eyebrows at him, but he felt too serene.

Erwin disappeared for a minute to the ensuite and returned with a bottle of something. Levi wanted to question it and how sanitary it might be, but he was too worked up in the moment and then Erwin was kissing him, and Levi could barely think about cleanliness. Instead, he thought about Erwin and how he had watched him perform and how he said he enjoyed doing just that.

“I watched you too,” Levi said as Erwin rolled the condom down his length. He spoke quietly, the words almost catching in his throat. “Swim, I mean.”

Erwin stooped to kiss him again, smiling into his lips. Levi was glad he didn’t say anything because he felt it was an awfully revealing thing to say, and he didn’t know how Erwin might respond.

Instead of saying anything, Erwin pressed the head of his cock into Levi’s opening. Levi had missed his glorious cock. He had missed his tanned skin and his gorgeous lips and his body, and he kissed him and held him as Erwin rocked his hips back and forth, spreading Levi with his length. Their mouths stayed connected and Levi kissed him until he couldn’t kiss any longer.

It was less leisurely, but Levi felt just as serene in the moment as Erwin filled him, holding his body and keeping him in the ideal position to keep his cock sliding in and out of his slicked opening. They were noisy and Levi felt wet and messy, but he felt like he was being taken care of also, like Erwin knew exactly what he wanted and part of that want was taking care of Levi, making love to him. This wasn’t fucking, not in its basest form, and Levi was totally content with that.

Levi’s arms were tight around Erwin for the entirety, his mouth on Erwin’s or on his shoulder. So much of him wanted to bite, not because he wanted it rough but because he didn’t know how else to control his lust, but he knew he couldn’t. Competitions might have ended for the season, but Levi couldn’t risk marking him.

They moved like that, back and forth, cursing into the quiet of the room. He made these whimpering noises he hadn’t made before, encouraged by Erwin as his body pressed him into the bed. Their skin was sheened with sweat, and Levi’s cock continued to leak against his skin.

With the beautiful strength in his shoulders and arms and core, Erwin could keep himself up with one hand and then moved the other to pet Levi’s cock. He stroked him lazily, filling him still. It freed Levi’s hands to keep them on Erwin, touching across his slicked, tanned skin, holding his built body close. His large, warm palms against Levi’s slim length felt beautiful, and Levi thrust into the contact as well as thrusting back onto Erwin’s cock inside him.

When he came, it was with Erwin’s name on his lips and Erwin’s body under his hands. His load was thick and hot, and Erwin encouraged every ounce of it out of him as he petted his length. Erwin came in the condom, and Levi felt it fill him, enamoured with it.

It was Erwin who cleaned them both up, Levi’s body rendered too senseless in a way he could not explain. Maybe it was because he had wanted Erwin and now he had had him again, his body was more satisfied than he had thought it might be. He was usually only rendered senseless after the kinkiest sex he could have, not after some desperate sex where he had missed the guy he wanted to sleep with, not where it was leisurely.

When Erwin climbed into bed, he pulled Levi towards him, and Levi was too senseless to protest. Not that he would have done anyway. He wanted this. He fell asleep comfortably, his head on Erwin’s smooth chest and Erwin’s big arms holding him tight.

Levi was awoken by a kiss on his cheek, and he found he was covered in sheets with the sun in his eyes. He blinked himself awake, watching as Erwin buttoned up his shirt, taking away his gloriously tanned chest from the world.

He glanced at the clock on the table and saw it was half-past eight. He had slept nearly solidly for almost nine hours with only a few stirrings in the night, and that did not happen often.

“You’re going?” Levi asked, sitting up and stretching.

Erwin nodded. “Our coach leaves in an hour.”

Levi hummed, though he was annoyed.

“I had a very nice time, though.” Erwin smirked.

Rolling his eyes, Levi said, “I’m sure you did.”

“I don’t know when I’ll see you again,” Erwin said as he sat on the edge of the bed to pull on his shoes.

“Probably the Olympics… If you’re going to Dauper, that is.”

Erwin’s lack of an answer concerned Levi. Although he was going because he needed to win Gold before he retired, part of him was going because he could spend solid time with Erwin. If Erwin wasn’t going, that was hazardous to being able to spend time with him.

“You’re not going?” Levi asked.

“I don’t know…”

“Are you going to retire?”

“No… Well… It’s difficult.”

“Why?”

Erwin paused what he was doing and turned to look at Levi. He stretched his hand out and placed it on top of Levi’s, his large palm covering Levi’s hand. He watched their hands, but Levi was watching Erwin’s face acutely, trying to figure him out.

“I have a shoulder injury,” Erwin admitted, quietly into the room.

“Oh,” Levi breathed out. “Is it bad?”

Erwin shook his head. “Not at the moment. The break is good, it’s giving me time to rest and try to work it out, but…”

“I didn’t know…”

“I haven’t publicised it yet.”

“Will you?”

Erwin nodded. “I’ll have to wear shoulder straps and supports soon. That’s usually a big indication that something’s going on.”

“It’s that bad?”

“That doesn’t mean it’s bad. It’s a way of helping it, not let it get worse. But it can get very bad, and I don’t want to give up swimming.”

“Which shoulder?”

“My right.”

“So you won’t be able to make it to Dauper?”

“I don’t know yet.”

“I want you to go.”

Erwin looked at him, his hair wet. How he had managed to shower and dress almost completely without Levi waking, Levi didn’t know.

“You do?” Erwin asked.

“It’ll be my last one.”

“So I should go for you?” Erwin smiled.

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I know.” Erwin reached over and kissed Levi on the lips and Levi would have hummed if he did not feel that was too familiar. “I have a lot to consider. We still have time.”

“Sure,” Levi agreed.

“I hope I see you soon,” Erwin said, and he kissed him once more before he stood.

Levi nodded, and Erwin grabbed his tie so he could leave.

“Wait,” Levi said and Erwin paused to look at him. He cleared his throat before he asked, without looking at him, “Can I have your number?”

He looked at Erwin after the fact and saw Erwin smiling.

“Of course,” Erwin said, and he picked up the pen and pad the hotel kept on the desk and wrote it down.

“Thanks,” Levi said, and Erwin came over and kissed Levi once more before he left. Levi collapsed back into bed, exhausted after voicing something he actually wanted, a ghost of a smile on his lip.

When he joined his team for breakfast, they eyed him curiously but it was Isabel who had the nerve to ask where he had been last night.

“I left,” Levi answered, buttering his toast and looking at his phone he had placed on the table and considering when texting Erwin might be too soon.

“With anyone interesting?” Farlan asked.

Levi glared at him for a second before he did not speak about it again. Instead, they spoke about plans for Christmas and his team asked if he was going to do anything for his birthday. As ever, the answer was no.

Levi text Erwin on the coach to the airport. He had spent twenty minutes considering what he should say and then another twenty feeling ridiculous for having waited so long to text him. Then it took forty minutes for Erwin to message him back, saying he would be MIA for a few hours for the flight back to Rose, but that he would text Levi when he landed. Levi would admit to no one his heart had felt lighter at seeing Erwin’s name appear on his lockscreen.

After Christmas and ignoring his birthday as ever, they were practising again. It was all about competitions and performing, perfecting their routines. The Olympics was next year and, whilst that seemed like a while away, it would be on them soon.

It was at the Pan District Championships where things started to get interesting. Levi had come to dominate the sport once more, he was winning more Golds than Bronzes, he was getting used to the vault, he was perfecting every piece of apparatus. He would get them a Gold for the Team Final at the Olympics, and he was getting closer to knowing that would be fact each time he competed. Sure, not everything was perfect and he could always improve, but his comeback had been phenomenal, and even Levi could see that. Mainly, that was because he was allowing himself to think that, but he could still see it.

However, from Shiganshina, there was Mikasa Ackerman. She was only nineteen, but she had slowly been creeping her way to the top. Levi tried not to pay attention to his competitors too much because he didn’t want that distraction, but it was impossible to ignore Mikasa.

They had been compared more times than Levi could count. A lot of reporters were saying Mikasa was the new Levi, their last names a bit of a running joke and people wondering if they were related in some way. They were saying she showed more promise than Levi had at that age, though Levi thought that was a little off considering he had competed at the Olympics by nineteen and she hadn’t. He wasn’t thinking that because he thought he was better than Mikasa, but more because there were differences. He wished people would stop comparing them because each person deserved their own reputation, and he didn’t want Mikasa’s to be attached to his, for she deserved her own as much as Levi did.

At the Pan District Championships, Levi was watching her whenever he wasn’t performing. Her strength was also the beam, and she had come so close to Levi’s record, Levi wondered if she might break it eventually. After his performance on the beam, receiving a 16.133, the same as his World Record, he watched Mikasa as she was straight after him.

Even as her competitor, he appreciated her form, thought she was a fierce performer and that she loved her craft. The way she moved, it was clear she had practised over and over, that every move was calculated and perfected. Levi thought, if he was on her team, he would be proud to call her a teammate. In fact, he was proud to say he could compete against her, and he wondered what interesting things she might bring to the competition.

She broke his World Record. She achieved a 16.366 and people went wild. Levi felt the cameras turn to him, to see what he thought of his Record being broken. Levi watched as Mikasa appeared unfazed by what she had just done. Levi also watched her team jump around, excited, congratulating her and shaking with possibility. He wondered what this meant for him and if she would compromise Levi’s promise of getting them Gold if they got to the Olympics next year as well.

As a good and genial sportsman, Levi approached her. He wanted to congratulate her because he didn’t feel bitter or angry. He was impressed, spurred on to do even better as he thought every athlete should be when someone arose that was doing better.

“Congratulations,” Levi said, shaking her hand.

“Thank you,” Mikasa replied.

“You’re a rising star,” Levi commented, their hands parting and Mikasa holding herself rigidly.

“Hm,” Mikasa hummed, shrugging it off. “I try not to think about things like that.”

“I know the feeling.”

“I’ll see you on the podium,” Mikasa said, watching Eren go over to the rings.

“I hope so,” Levi said, leaving them be.

She got the Gold for the beam, obviously, and Levi felt peculiar with a Silver around his neck for the beam when he hadn’t gotten anything other than Gold since the Olympics disaster. However, instead of letting it dishearten him, it made him want more, it made him want to try harder. He would make sure he succeeded in his aims, even if it took more effort than he had originally intended.

Over the course of time it took from Mikasa breaking his World Record to a few months before Olympic Qualifications, Levi and Mikasa batted back and forth between winning Gold and Silver for the beam. For other apparatus, there was a steadier rhythm; where Levi got Silver, Mikasa got Gold and, where Mikasa got Silver, Levi got Gold. There were other gymnasts, of course, in the running, but it was becoming quite the media sensation, everyone wondering who would come out on top at each event. Whilst the other gymnasts did well, it was all about Mikasa and Levi, and Levi tried not to focus on it, but it was always there.

There were, however, the occasional times he allowed himself to be distracted. For example, whenever Erwin had a competition upcoming, Levi would wish him good luck via text, and then, whenever Levi had something coming up, Erwin would do the same. It was sweet. Levi enjoyed their conversations. Sometimes they went a few days without talking, but it was never any longer than that, and Levi got used to those exchanges. The time difference was something he got used to very quickly. It was a nice addition to his daily routine.

There was some competition for swimming coming to Souterrain, as it did every year, but this was the first year that Levi had Erwin’s number, and he felt morally obliged to take up that opportunity. Texts were fine, but it was much better having Erwin in person. Levi was not great with phone calls, but he would have put up with them to hear his voice. It just seemed their schedules didn’t allow for that all that often.

After teaching Historia E-Grade mounts onto the beam, Levi sent Erwin a text on his walk home. It said, plain and simple, _are you coming to Souterrain for that swimming thing?_

Whilst he was making dinner, he got a text back, Erwin saying, _yes._

Throwing his tea towel over his shoulder, Levi tapped out four different messages before he decided on his fifth, that read, _how long will you be in the country?_

The text back this time was quicker. _A couple of days._

Levi wrote out, _will you have any free time?_ He stared at it for about two minutes before he sent it and got on with his cooking. He did not flirt like this, he did not ask delicate questions. It had never been in his nature and he wasn’t entirely sure how to behave. He felt antsy, and he was glad Farlan was on a date and that Isabel was hanging out with Petra because he knew they would be baffled by his behaviour right now.

_I should do,_ Erwin replied.

Levi stared at the text. Either Erwin was playing with him, teasing him because he knew this was not something Levi did all that often, or he was actually an idiot. Levi wasn’t sure which one it was. It really could have been either.

_Are you playing with me or do you genuinely not know what I’m asking after?_ Levi sent.

The wink emoji Erwin sent him made Levi damn near smile. Erwin was such an ass, Levi didn’t know why he liked him as much as he did.

_There’s a restaurant here that you pay for not just the good food but discretion. Not that we’d be fucking on the restaurant floor, but we could go and no one would bat an eyelid. If you wanted that._

Again, it was another risky text that Levi was not used to sending, but he wanted to send it.

_Let’s do that._

They made those plans and, along with being spurred on by Mikasa and wanting to practise his heart out, he was looking forward to seeing Erwin. This might have been an actual date he had planned, and that was not something Levi was ever going to be used to, but if Erwin wasn’t going to Dauper, then he would have to make the most of meetings like these.

Erwin had already emerged at swimming competitions with the band and waterproof tape. People had been upset and shocked, people thought it would mean the end of his career soon. He had still won Gold in almost every single one of his events, only a couple of Silvers and Bronzes, and he had broken another couple of World Records, but it was jarring.

When the swimming competition came to Souterrain, Levi had wanted to see him, but it wasn’t going to work out. The Olympic Qualifications were only a month away, the results, as ever, being taken from the World Artistic Gymnastic Championships and Levi wanted to practise and practise and practise. It meant his time was taken up during the day, but at least he would see Erwin tonight.

It was odd, having so much of his day occupied. He was so used to it being gymnastics from eight in the morning until nine at night, going to bed, and doing the same tomorrow. To have this, to be practising from eight until five and then to have someone to meet at seven o’clock for dinner, that was a very new aspect to his life.

He wasn’t entirely sure what to wear. The restaurant had an expensive tone, so he had to look nice, but he suddenly felt everything he owned was shit. It wasn’t true, but those were the nerves that worked through him.

He had decided on black trousers and this very deep burgundy button-up shirt. Ties were not necessary, it was not some fucking dance they were going to. He wanted to look nice, but he was having difficulty staring at himself in the mirror. He had even tried doing something nice with his hair, which never happened. He usually brushed it, and let it do whatever it was going to do. He liked to keep it trimmed, keep the shaved part relatively shaved, but he didn’t usually fuss over it with gel like he had today. The nerves made him keep fiddling.

As he made his way over to the restaurant, he checked in on Erwin’s scores. He had placed in everything, as per usual, and Levi thought he deserved some congratulations about that tonight. It was obviously going to end in sex, Levi had no doubt about that. They never got to see each other in person, and Levi wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity to have him in his bed.

He waited inside the restaurant for Erwin, not wanting to be caught outside when the two greeted each other. Although this, he supposed, was an actual date which meant it was more serious than an Olympic fling, it wasn’t like he wanted the public to know about them. He wasn’t sure if there even was a ‘them’, but if the public were another aspect to their relationship, then it would become mightily more complicated, and Levi wasn’t sure he wanted nor needed that with the World Championships coming up as this would be the first step in getting that Olympic Gold medal.

When he saw Erwin walking through the restaurant to find their table, Levi felt his chest well with something like excitement. It was a ridiculous feeling and he wanted to quash it, but that didn’t mean it went away or that he didn’t feel it.

Erwin smiled as he approached, and Levi stood. The room was dark and full of what felt like romantic shadows, candlelight flickering lazily against the walls. It cast this beautiful glow over Erwin’s olive skin that had Levi’s breath catching in his throat. He had dressed in this deep, blue shirt with the collar open and his trousers fit him far too well. He was wearing an expensive watch as well, and Levi felt his stomach lurch. He was far too handsome.

“Long time, no see,” Erwin greeted, and he stooped to kiss Levi on the cheek.

Levi swallowed and nodded. “I hope you don’t, uh, feel like I’m… like I’m hiding you in the corner. It’s just a nice table.”

Erwin laughed, cocking his head. “Are you nervous?”

Levi looked away and sat down, saying, “no,” but it was obvious that he was.

Erwin laughed again and he sat.

Dinner with him was lovely, there was really little else to say. It was intimate and romantic, and conversation was so easy. Whilst Levi had enjoyed their ordered food up in Levi’s room, this was something else. This was a different thing to what Levi was used to. He had been on dates, plenty of them, but this was different. This wasn’t like anything else Levi had been through before, and it felt like it was blossoming in his chest.

They didn’t get dessert because they were going to compete in the Olympics in under a year. Well, Levi definitely was, they still hadn’t discussed if Erwin was going to, but Levi sure hoped he did.

As they paid for the bill, Levi asked, “Do you have a hotel room?”

Erwin nodded.

“I would invite you to my house but Isabel and Farlan are there, so it would be weird…” Levi explained.

“We can go back to my hotel,” Erwin said. “I’m on floor fifteen this time.”

“Look at you, working your way up.”

Erwin laughed, and they left together.

They got in an expensive cab and managed to keep their hands off each other until they got up to Erwin’s room. It had a beautiful view of Souterrain that Levi rarely got to see, but his sights were more set on Erwin who was before him and looking far too good to ignore.

Erwin came into the room and sat himself down on the bed, which was a hugely luxurious thing, all white and crisp and pristine. He spread his legs and it was a casual gesture really, his hands resting behind him and keeping himself up, considering Levi lazily, a languid smile set onto his lips.

Levi, however, saw the opportunity in that position and he came further into the room and set himself directly between those legs, placing his hands in Erwin’s hair and angling him up so they could kiss sweetly, deeply as well.

Erwin’s arms came up and around him, pulling his waist closer, their bodies pressing directly together. Every time they were apart, which was way more often than they were together, Levi ached to be with him. To have him, like this, in his arms, on his mouth, there were few things that made him appreciate life more than those. Gymnastics did, and the way Erwin made him feel did as well. It wasn’t something he knew entirely how to deal with and he wasn’t sure how long it would last, but he would make the most of it whilst he could.

They made love sweetly that night, Erwin picking him up by the backs of his thighs, lying him down on the bed, stripping him of every piece of fabric and then kissing across his moonlight skin. He entered a state of rapture that few things ever brought him, and he came with Erwin’s mouth on his own.

They curled up together, their skin touching everywhere, and Levi was more content than he had been in a long while.

“When do you go back to Rose?” Levi asked, voice sleepy but content to be in this state alongside Erwin.

“Not tomorrow but the morning after.” Erwin kissed into his hair.

“So we could meet again tomorrow night?”

He felt Erwin laugh through his nose. “We could.”

“Interesting.”

“Isn’t it?”

“Should I meet you here instead? We could order food up or something,” Levi suggested.

“That sounds lovely.”

Levi sighed contently and fell asleep in his arms.

They met up the next day after Levi had practised and Erwin had won more Golds, and they ate food they shouldn’t be eating as athletes and kissed on the soft bed, Levi lying on top of him. It was just as sweet and just as lovely and certainly not anything Levi expected to get given how unfairly he had been treated earlier in his life, but he enjoyed it. Again, he didn’t think it was going to last forever, but whilst it lasted now, Levi enjoyed it.

As lay together again, their last night together for who knew long, Levi asked, “Are you going to Dauper?”

Erwin had shrugged against him. “I have times that qualify me so far. I don’t think I’ll lose that in any of the upcoming competitions, but I’m still unsure.”

Levi nodded, but it wasn’t the kind of thing he wanted to hear. “Your shoulder any better?”

“It’s not gotten any worse. It’s not like it used to be, but it’s not gotten any worse.”

“So, you could go. Hypothetically.”

“Hypothetically,” Erwin repeated. He kissed into Levi’s hair. “You want me to go that badly?”

Levi shrugged then. Erwin laughed through his nose.

“I want to go,” Erwin said, quietly, almost claimed by the silence of their hotel room.

“Then go,” Levi encouraged, and he hoped he would.


	10. The Deepest Secret

During the World Artistic Gymnastic Championships, Levi told his team not to peak as they performed. They wanted to do well, but they didn’t need to show everything off before they had to. Levi wanted to show that he was still doing well, that he intended to get to the Olympics and he intended to get to the podiums where he hadn’t at the last Games, but he wanted them to peak during the Team Finals, during the All-Arounds, during the Event Finals, not here. They still needed a good enough score to get them there, but they didn’t need to be on top. Not right now.

The team this year consisted of Levi, Farlan, Isabel, Petra, and Historia. It did make Levi feel bad for the gymnasts who hadn’t qualified from his Souterrain team, for those he coached as well as these guys, but he had to push through that. Whilst Eld wouldn’t get another Team Final Olympic medal, Levi needed to focus on himself a little more. He wasn’t sure he had another Olympics in him, so he had to make the most of it.

They spent so much time practising and perfecting their routines, Levi was dreaming them. He might be pushing himself and his team too far, too harshly, but it would be worth it in the end when they had medals around their necks. He would never be as brutal as Kenny, but he did want to push them, encourage them to do their best.

When the schedule came out, Levi saw that date of his mother’s death fell on the day of the Vault Final. It was problematic, really, and as typical as it could get, but he was really trying to think more positively about things. Yes, it was unfortunate and, yes, last time, the vault had been his downfall, the date had been his downfall, and he knew that was still going to weigh over him, that people were going to be questioning it and watching his every move, but he was trying to be more positive.

Things had gone wrong, but look at how well he had done. He was back to winning Golds and Silvers at competitions, he was back to where he had been, surpassed that level even. His consistency was even better than it had been before he had broken his leg.

It was difficult trying to make himself see things positively. He had gotten so fiercely into the habit of always criticising himself, of always looking for ways to improve and, sure it was important to never let yourself cruise, to always get better, but Levi had always seen that and never seen that he could be proud of himself even when he hadn’t been perfect, even when he had made mistakes. It had been a long process getting there, almost four years of trying to cement that mentality, and he still wasn’t perfect at it, but he was getting better.

And so, when it came to the Vault Finals and he would be performing that dreaded thing on the same day of his mother’s death date, he was going to cement in his mind that his mother had been proud of him, that she would be proud of his achievements. She had loved him and, although Kenny blamed him so severely for her death, he was going to remember that she had loved him fiercely, and he was going to try to thrive off of that instead of off a need to be perfect.

When they landed in Dauper, the time zones thankfully not as different as they had been between Mitras and Souterrain, Levi didn’t feel such an exhaustion in his bones as he had last time, his nerves lesser. Sure, he still yearned for Golds, but he was trying not to be so fearful of the anniversary of his mother’s death, and those nerves were thankfully paining him less this time around.

Dauper wasn’t as rich as Mitras, everyone knew that. The journey from the airport to the Village was only half an hour, and Levi perused through his Instagram, Isabel having already taken pictures that she uploaded. One included Levi, staring off into the distance, probably looking at flight times, and he had seen that Erwin had liked it. It made his heart pound stupidly.

They had still kept in contact, of course, but Levi found their conversations a little lesser as the preparation for the Games began. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk to him or see him, he just had so much to concentrate on that he didn’t always get a chance to look at his phone. He had gone days without looking at it and needing to charge it without having checked it once. He hoped Erwin hadn’t minded, he just had so much to prove this time around.

Erwin had qualified, in the end, with the exact same team as last time. It was a relief, actually. Levi wondered if they could get things to progress. Sure, the Olympics were going to consume so much of their time, but he liked Erwin, and he had missed him.

Erwin hadn’t told him he was going to try to qualify, but Levi had congratulated him all the same. Levi had sent him a text after he had seen that he had qualified, and Erwin had said Levi was just going to have to congratulate him some way or another. Levi said he would do what he could when they were both in Dauper, and they had flirted back and forth like that for a while. It was ludicrous how much his mood inflated when Erwin's name appeared on his screen.

When they got to the Village, Levi saw it was vastly different to the one in Mitras. The Dauper colours were green and yellow, and there were benches and plant pots and paving stones that alternated those colours. It wasn’t exactly tacky, but it hadn’t been the elegant way that Mitras had done it.

There were four hotels this time instead of the eight in Mitras. These ones were longer and taller, and they all sat facing the same way, looking out onto the stadiums with the other sides facing the ocean. The long path and road in front of it was covered by the greenery they had planted, perhaps trying to make it more elegant, perhaps trying to give the Olympians more privacy, Levi wasn’t entirely sure. It would mask who came and went, which was what the athletes needed sometimes.

All of the gymnasts were in the same building again though, as per usual, Farlan would be staying in a hotel because he couldn’t bear to be around this sort of crowd in these buildings. Levi was on floor sixteen this year, and he rode the elevator all the way up, saying goodbye to Petra and Historia who were sharing a room on floor eight, and then goodbye to Isabel who had to deal with some random roommate on the tenth floor.

Inside his room, whilst it was clear some money had been spent on it, it wasn’t as luxurious as the rooms last time. The wardrobe was smaller, the beds were smaller, the lamps were smaller, and there was no ensuite. Unfortunately, it meant there would be no shower sex this year.

Taping his picture of his mother to the wall, Levi unpacked the rest of his things and lay about doing nothing. He wanted to go exploring, see who was around, but there was no way he was going to be desperate. He didn’t know when Erwin arrived because he hadn’t mustered the courage to ask him, so he wasn’t sure if wandering about would even result in seeing him.

It was tedious, however, just lying down and twiddling his thumbs. He was so used to not feeling anything for other people, particularly romantically, and he didn’t know how to navigate it now he thought he might be feeling something.

The Opening Ceremony was only a few days away, so everyone was moving into the Village to prepare for that. Erwin would either be here already or he would be here soon. Levi couldn’t look around the gymnastics building until tomorrow, so he really had very little to do. He wanted to do something productive but, without being able to practise, there was nothing productive to do.

Eventually, Levi gave up with waiting around and went down in the elevator. It was busy in the main hall, people getting food, carrying bags to the elevators, chatting to each other. Levi wondered what he should do, if he should get some food, maybe visit Farlan in the hotel, maybe he should wander around. The latter was problematic because there were fans gathering already, and Levi wasn’t in the mood for selfies or signings. Not that he ever really was.

He settled for food, finding a relatively empty table and sitting at it, going through his social media feeds and trying not to pry into whether Erwin had left already or not. There had been a picture of him on Instagram at some airport with sunglasses on, likely covering his fatigue, and Levi wondered if that meant he should be here now or if he should be on his way. Whilst Levi wanted to know, he was not going to take the time it was posted and how long the flight would be to determine whether he should be here or not. Whilst he was feeling things, he didn’t want to be _that_ guy.

Of course, Erwin had text him saying he wouldn’t be able to talk for a while because of all the travelling, but that still didn’t determine what time Erwin would be here. He wanted to text him now so Erwin might reply and say he had landed in Dauper, but he didn’t want to be frustrating.

And then he heard his voice through all the chatter, his deep, dulcet tones cutting through the crowd. Part of his subconscious had wanted him to turn his head so that he could search for him, but he forced himself not to do that for fear of looking like a prat.

After some time, he looked around casually and found Erwin standing in the doorway, talking to Mike and Hanji. He had his sunglasses hooked into his shirt, and his heart lurched towards him. 

When he had been growing up, despite having had the occasional romantic exchange, the occasional boyfriend, he had never thought he might find something that affected him the way he was told love was supposed to affect him. He knew this wasn’t love, not yet at least, but it was something he had not experienced before, and he did not believe he had the right tools to navigate it.

By some miracle, Erwin saw him, and his features softened, his eyes glistening. Levi hadn’t meant to be caught watching him, but he did want Erwin to know he was here, waiting for him. Erwin nodded his greeting, his bags still in his hands, and Levi didn’t know if he was meant to approach or leave and wait for Erwin to follow.

It was made easier when Erwin exited his conversation and approached him. He smiled all the way, and Levi sighed deeply.

“Hello,” Erwin greeted, his smile and tone warm, melting the ice around Levi’s heart that had grown from years of abuse and solitude.

“Hey,” Levi replied, wanting to appear more casual than he felt. Sure, they had seen each other a few times and they had talked regularly over the phone, but it was a lot easier to maintain this idea that he was feeling things for Erwin when it was over screen. It was difficult knowing how to behave when he could see him physically.

“What floor are you on?” Erwin asked, readjusting his grip on his bags.

“Sixteen.”

“Seriously?”

Levi smirked. “Floor four, again?”

“Floor eight, thank you very much.”

“At least it’s some improvement.”

Erwin laughed. “Hopefully, I won’t be spending much time there, though.”

Levi rolled his eyes. “Aren’t you optimistic?”

“Realistic,” Erwin retorted, following Levi as he went to leave.

“Are you even going to bother putting your shit in your room?”

“Should I?”

“Do you want to keep up appearances with your roommate or not?”

Erwin laughed, but he followed Levi to his room anyway. On his way through the door, Erwin looked around and furrowed his brow, Levi waiting for him as he sat on his own bed.

“How do you get a double room to yourself?” Erwin asked, putting his suitcase and his bag on the other bed.

“I don’t. Farlan says he’ll be my roommate because he knows I like a room by myself, and he can’t stay in places like this because of the noise.”

“The noise?”

“Not a good sleeper.” Levi did not elaborate for that was Farlan’s story to tell, not his. He did not divulge others’ secrets and he never would.

Erwin did not ask and Levi was very thankful for him. In fact, he was so thankful for him, he got up from where he was sat, came over to where Erwin was unzipping his suitcase, and pulled him down by his shirt so their mouths met. It had been far too long since he had been able to do just that and he was going to make the most of him whilst he was here. Even though Levi did not want to count down their time together, it would only be a few weeks, and Levi did not want to think about them parting.

Erwin stilled for a few seconds before he wrapped his arms around Levi's smaller form, kissing him senseless. Levi was so used to being in control and, whilst he had been the one to initiate it, he did not mind Erwin pulling their bodies together, Levi wrapping his arms around his neck.

As Erwin’s bed was taken up with bags, they walked over to Levi’s empty bed, still connected, bodies pulsing with want. When they collapsed on the bed together, Levi opened the bedside table and Erwin raised his eyebrows at the amount of condoms Levi had gathered. Levi did not pause and pulled one out, shutting the drawer and crashing their mouths together again.

They stripped hurriedly, and Levi kissed as much of Erwin’s skin as he could when Erwin was pressing his glorious cock into his opening. They moved and rutted against each other, holding each other and rolling their hips so they stayed connected. Their mouths stayed pressed together, tongues meeting over and over as they took pleasure from pleasuring the other.

When they were finished, they stayed together for a moment, kissing the other and being content they would be able to do this as often as they pleased. Levi was not used to romance or affection, but he craved it from Erwin and he would take it any time it was offered, taking it now as Erwin kissed him over and over.

As it was only afternoon, they parted to shower, not wanting to smell like sex, and then they returned to the room so Erwin could unpack and Levi could watch him, finding himself oddly entranced just with the way he moved.

As it was a twin room, there was plenty of space to put all of his things, and Levi lay comfortably on his bed, the television on, but watching Erwin instead. He put his competition gear, which were speedos that were designed more intricately than last year, into one of the two drawers the wardrobe came with. The residing colours were still of Rose’s flag, but there were lots of other lines and details that Levi couldn’t entirely make out from his distance.

He also had the outfit he would wear for the Opening Ceremony and when he got medals, because Levi knew he would definitely be getting medals, and he hung that up next to Levi’s. They looked odd next to each other, Levi thought, but he supposed the colours were somewhat complementary. Levi’s was more impactful, less subtle than at the last Games; the trousers were blue with intricate swirls of white going here, there and everywhere, and the jacket this time followed that design with a different pattern of swirls in blue. It was a similar story with his singlet, it was all swirls and intricate patterns in blue and white, but it was quite pretty, particularly with ‘Dauper Games’ and the year intricately woven into it.

The red and yellow of Erwin’s flag were strong on his own outfit, the one he would wear during the medalling ceremonies. Both the jacket and the trousers followed the same pattern; on the left-hand side, there was pure red until it got towards the centre where the yellow came in small stripes that progressively got thicker until they took over the entire colour, less than the red side, but still just as prominent. 

He had his swimming cap and goggles, which also went into the drawer, and then he had his casual outfits because they would be here for a few weeks and would have some time to explore. 

It was domestic, watching Erwin unpack, knowing it would mean that Erwin would be here, all the time, that, after every day, Erwin would come back and sleep in this room, next to him. He took pleasure in that idea, and he wondered what that would bring them this time around.

When he was done, Erwin looked up to see Levi watching him, and he paused. Levi cleared his throat and looked at the television, but he had been spotted.

“You all right?” Erwin asked, coming to sit on the other bed, watching Levi now.

“Yep,” Levi said, not wanting to look back at Erwin because his face was burning, and Levi’s face did not ever flush because he never felt feelings that should encourage such a thing.

There was a pause before Erwin said, “I missed you.”

Levi looked at him then, slow, brow low. He swallowed, and then asked, “Again?”

Erwin nodded. “Even more than the first time.”

“Why?”

“Because you are someone worth missing.” Erwin smiled. “I know our meetings have been fleeting, but I’m really fond of you, Levi.”

“You are?”

Erwin nodded. “Very much so.”

So much of Levi wanted to say the same, so much of him wanted to tell Erwin that he felt impacted by him as well, but it was not in his nature to say such things. He was closed off, he did not offer pieces of himself to others. It wasn’t something he was comfortable saying or doing, and, whilst he wanted to say it to Erwin for it was true, his lips would not form the words.

Instead, he nodded, swallowing as he did so, hoping Erwin understood without him saying anything. Maybe, with more time together, Levi might be better at expressing himself, he just couldn’t know for sure.

Even though they had the whole Village to mooch around and get food and explore, they stayed in their room after ordering food up, eating together and talking. There was so much about Erwin that Levi didn’t know. He had read things about him, read what he posted online, read and listened to what he said in his interviews, and he wanted to know him more intimately than that. Sure, he knew him in the intimate manner of fucking, but there was more to him than just that, and Levi knew it. He wanted to know Erwin, soul and all.

As Levi had an interview the next day with Sonny and Bean, they went to bed relatively early. They didn’t have sex again, but Levi still curled into Erwin’s body, Erwin’s arms around him.

The next morning, Erwin kissed Levi good luck but stayed in bed, and Levi threw one of the pillows on the other bed at him as he dressed. Erwin, unfussed, grabbed the pillow and hugged it into himself as he fell asleep again. It made Levi’s heart do odd things and so he left, not lingering on it for a second longer.

Interviews were still Levi’s least favourite thing about his life. Everyone knew Levi was not a people-person, it was still a part of his brand and there were plenty of the cruel and dry things he had said labelled on shirts and hoodies that fans wore to events. He wasn’t sure if he endorsed them, but they were quite humorous.

He had been to see Sonny and Bean, and other commentators and news shows, over his time preparing for the Olympics, but they had only been short things, and his team had often been with him. This was the first solo one he had done on a morning show in a year. He had had the occasional solo thing here and there, in the street, after a competition, but the morning shows, he had made sure they were booked as a team in the runup to the Olympics. It was the team he was trying to push, trying to show them as a cohesive unit that would complete the Olympics together, even if they did have individual competitions.

After what had happened at the last Games, everyone was desperate to hear from him. The main questions had been about what his hopes were for the next Games, but he knew that Sonny and Bean were going to ask him about the previous Games, that everyone wanted to know, wanted to hear what Levi thought. He would be fine with it, but it was still a lot to deal with on his own.

After the makeup team had gotten rid of the circles under his eyes and he could put on this year’s Olympic zip-up hoodie again, designed both with Souterrain and Dauper’s colours, he was hurried out to his seat to wait until it was his turn to talk. He still hated live interviews, but he had long grown used to them.

They chatted lightly before their time came, and Levi was not a fan of small talk either. In fact, interaction in general wasn’t Levi’s thing.

He cursed in his head when the signal they were on air came. He was not going to smile for the few times he had smiled when interviewed early on had haunted him. It didn’t look too fake, but it felt fake and Levi thought, if this was supposed to be his career and his life, smiling for the cameras when he didn’t want to naturally was fake. He wanted to portray his true self, even if it came off as offish. That was his brand and, as long as his brand represented his true self, he was fine with that.

“Good morning, Levi,” Sonny greeted after their introductions to the camera.

“Morning,” Levi replied in the pleasantest tone he could muster without being fake.

“So,” Sonny began, clasping her hands together. “Your Qualifications, the Finals, they’re all next week. How are you feeling?”

“Fine,” Levi said, for he was. He didn’t want to get caught up in the drama and panic of it all. “Our predictions are good this year, so we’re hopeful, but we’re not getting blinded by that.”

“Well, I wasn’t going to get into it so soon,” Sonny began, the hosts looking at each other and sharing a knowing glance the way they always did. “But, as you bring it up, last time, four years ago, the last Olympics in Mitras, you were predicted to get Gold in the Team Finals, in the Individual Finals, in most of the Event Finals, and in the ones you weren’t meant to get Gold in, you were meant to get Silver or Bronze, and then it went… well, it went so wrong. You got your worst scores in your history, worse than when you competed as a teenager.”

“We’ve spoken about this so much, I know,” Bean continued. “But we’re still so confused. People were so shocked and upset.”

“I can imagine,” Levi replied, shifting in his seat.

“Do you have any more thoughts about it? Anything else come to mind about what made that happen?” Bean asked.

“It wasn’t nerves,” Levi answered. “I don’t know… I do know why it happened.” He swallowed. He wasn’t sure if he was about to tell the truth or not, but he supposed one part about thinking more positively about his life meant coming to terms with it and accepting what had happened. Maybe a part of that was telling the world the truth as well. “I just… I’ve never been great with excuses.”

They looked at each other again.

“You know why?” Sonny asked. “There’s an actual reason?”

“It’s not just some abstract thing?” Bean asked.

“No, it’s not some abstract thing,” Levi replied, and he took a deep breath.

He knew the truth would be uncomfortable to hear. If he told the world not only of the death aspect, but of the beatings, it would grow uneasy. It was the truth, and everyone wanted to know the truth, but Levi wondered how much they would want to continuing listening when he told them what the reason had been.

Every time his scars were on show, which was every time he wore a singlet, the world looked at them and looked away. He had been able to force the world to see them when he had first shown what Kenny had done, and they had noticed it then, but they didn’t know what to do with that information. It was a fact that sometimes went acknowledged, but it made everyone uncomfortable. Mental scars were a lot easier to hide and the cameras likely much preferred that.

But it was difficult trying to say those words. It was an excuse, and Levi had never been raised to make excuses. The world also wanted to ignore anything like that, see you only as you currently were. It didn’t like to know how you got there, just that you _were_ there, and any excuses, any problems you had after that fact got you labelled as weak, as a cry-baby who couldn’t deal with the fame.

Levi had never made excuses before. Sure, the world was asking him why now, asking him what had happened, but would they be able to deal with the truth? Would Levi?

He had been able to tell Erwin, but only because he knew Erwin would never spill his secrets and because he didn’t think Erwin would judge him. Telling the world now, that meant a whole lot of people were there, ready to judge him. He had grown so used to being judged for his gymnastics, for his personality, but not for this very personal thing, not for his history, not like this.

“Then, what?” Bean asked in Levi’s silence, the cameras and the world waiting. “It wasn’t just a bad day?”

“Well, it was a bad day,” Levi said, “but it was triggered by something very specific, actually.” He felt the weight of his mother’s absence on his shoulders, feeling as though Kenny was watching as well, though Levi couldn’t know that for sure. Wherever he was, Levi wasn’t sure if he watched him or if he ignored him, and he didn’t care either way. “The Team Finals fell on the date of my mother’s death. And, well, I never really got to mourn her and she never saw me compete, and that weight is a lot and I don’t know if I’ve ever gotten over it.”

The level of exclusivity was burning in their eyes, Levi could tell. The only time Levi spoke about his past or his family was when Kenny was brought up, and he had not spoken about him in years. He did not allow questions about his family, it was a part of the contract he gave to those who wanted to interview him.

To offer this, now, after all these years, after the years of speculation following the Games in Mitras, he felt Sonny and Bean craving this information. Levi had never really thought of them as greedy, hungry journalists, but they still were journalists, and something like this was not something they could pass up, not something they could gloss over.

“So-,” Bean began, but Levi was not finished.

“And,” Levi interrupted. “Because Kenny, in part, blamed me for my mother getting so sick, he used to beat me a little harder if I made mistakes on… on her day. That sort of abuse, it sticks with you. It got to me, I admit that, and it shouldn’t have, but it got to me.”

The light in their eyes dimmed at the mention of abuse, but it was more revelation about Levi’s tragic life than Levi had ever really gifted before. He did not talk about his past and he wasn’t entirely sure why he wanted to do it now, but he had. The world knew a slice more of Levi Ackerman, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to take it back.

“I can imagine that would have quite the impact,” Sonny said, not likely expecting the interview to take such a sombre turn.

“It did.” Levi cleared his throat, not sure if the weight was lifted from his shoulders yet. “It does.”

Perhaps sensing the opportunity, perhaps just talking some more, Bean said, “This is, perhaps, the first time you’ve spoken about Kenny in years.”

Levi nodded his affirmation. This was meant to be a talk about the Olympics, about prospects and plans, but it was no longer that. This was now a talk about Levi and his past and, even though he likely only had five minutes left before they had to move onto their next subject, they would ask questions until their last second.

“Why now?”

Levi shrugged. “I didn’t plan it. In fact, I didn’t think I’d ever talk about it publicly, but here we are.”

“Do you think Kenny watches you compete?”

“I don’t know. I don’t particularly care.”

Sonny nodded her understanding, but Levi didn’t think they would understand. No one would unless they had been through it.

“Do you blame him for what happened at the last Games?” Bean asked.

“I don’t know if it’s blame, that would put too much of his… I don’t know, of his impact on me, and I don’t want that, I don’t want any part of what he did to remain. But, in a way, I suppose it is because of his actions alongside what happened to my mother that what happened, happened. I want to move past it, but it’s not as easy as saying it and doing it.”

“If I’m not mistaken,” Bean began. “The date of your mother’s death falls on… Goodness, it falls on the Vault Finals.”

Levi nodded.

The hosts winced.

“I know,” Levi said, laughing through his nose. “It’s typical, but…”

“But it’s the best way for you to overcome it,” Sonny said, voicing Levi’s thoughts, and he nodded. “I wish we had more time, Levi, I really do. Unfortunately, our next segment is here, though I can hear the audience screaming at us for more.”

“Thank you for telling us,” Bean continued. “We didn’t talk much sport but know we are all rooting for you. We would have liked to talk about Mikasa and her team, but another time, maybe.”

“Sure,” Levi agreed, though he knew that time would never come for their competition began next week and there was not much time left.

“Good luck,” Sonny said, smiling.

“Thank you,” Levi replied.

They moved onto their next introductory statement and a video played so Levi could leave and the hosts could rest. Levi was not looking forward to the news stories or the headlines on their way, some probably blaming him for excuses, some likely supporting him. They would be here soon, and Levi wanted to get back to the comfort of his room, to the comfort of Erwin’s arms. He could go to the gymnastics building today, and he knew he should but, for just a moment, he wanted to be somewhere simpler, somewhere easier, somewhere where he knew no one was watching him.

“Levi,” Sonny called before Levi left the room to go back to the Village.

“What?” Levi asked.

They both came over, only having a few moments before they had to talk again. Sonny put a hand on Levi’s shoulder and he wanted to shrug it off, but he supposed he shouldn’t.

“Thank you,” Sonny said. “I can imagine that wasn’t easy to say.”

Levi shrugged and, thankfully, the hand went with it. “It is what it is.”

“Of course, we always want Souterrain to win, but, even more so now,” Bean said, Sonny nodding her agreement. “For you to go against Kenny, to say you’re better than his treatment of you… For you mother. We’re rooting for you.”

Levi nodded only once. He may have spoken about his family, but he did not permit others to do so. He would allow it now, but he was not sure he would allow it again.

“We’ll set up another interview, maybe after the Team Finals as you do have a day before the Individuals, so it might be nice.”

Levi nodded again.

He bid his goodbye before they could speak again and he left without another word, ignoring some of the people who looked his way as he went.

Back in his room, he found Erwin scrolling through the channels, going through the news mainly. Levi rolled his eyes as he entered, unzipping his jacket and carefully placing it on the back of one of the chairs in his room. Erwin had sat up straighter when he noticed Levi, but Levi did not bother to acknowledge him.

“How are you?” Erwin asked. It was a delicate question, loaded with knowledge.

Levi shrugged. He sat down on the spare bed and ran his hands over his face.

He heard shuffling and thought Erwin had moved over, sitting on the edge of his bed so he could be closer to Levi. 

“Is everyone talking about it?” Levi asked.

“Not yet,” Erwin answered. “But it’s still early.”

Levi tutted and pushed himself back so he was lying on the bed, legs dangling over the edge. “I don’t know why I said it… I don’t talk about my family.”

“And why is that?”

“I didn’t sign up for a therapy session today, Erwin.”

“I think you might get one anyway.”

Levi tutted again.

“Why don’t you talk about your family?” Erwin asked when Levi said nothing.

“You don’t talk about yours,” Levi retorted.

“I have done, many times. Recently, no one’s interested, but perhaps that’s because everyone knows everything there is to know about my family. There’s nothing more to ask. For you, it’s been a question ever since you started.”

“And?”

“People are curious beings.”

“I wish they weren’t.”

Erwin remained silent.

“I don’t like giving people information about me,” Levi admitted. “I just don’t see the point.”

“Because?”

“Why should they have to know?”

“They shouldn’t,” Erwin said. “But being secretive doesn’t help anything.”

“It’s not secretive to want to be private,” Levi snapped, though it was less through anger and more through hurt because a thousand things he had buried deep beneath the surface were emerging now. He did not want it. He bit his lip hard to stop tears falling.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Erwin said.

Levi shrugged.

The silence was long and heavy, Levi thought the conversation might be over and he felt a tear or two escape him, knowing he pushed everyone away because he could not deal with warmth. Erwin would get fed up with him, and that was fair. Levi would not begrudge him for leaving.

Instead, however, the bed dipped by Levi’s head and Erwin pulled him into his arms. Levi protested for only a second before he gave up and let himself be held. He could not remember the last time he cried and he could not remember the last time he had cried and then was held by someone. It had to have been when his mother had been alive, and that was so very long ago.

“I miss her,” Levi said between short breaths. “I barely even knew her…”

Erwin kissed into his hair and asked Levi to tell him about her. And, for the first time in almost two decades, Levi voiced Kuchel’s name and told someone else the things he could remember of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am away next weekend, so chapters will resume on the fourteenth of September ^.^ x


	11. The Bud of the Bud

Levi awoke the next morning with his face buried in Erwin’s bare chest and his soul feeling oddly rectified. He had not gone to the gymnastics building in the end, he had stayed with Erwin, being comforted by him and then watching television. The Opening Ceremony was tomorrow and then the Games would begin. Levi was looking forward to being able to spend evenings, when neither of them were competing, sat up in this room and watching the other athletes, making out or lying on each other.

As they had both been obsessed with each other, they decided to devote some time to their teams, so Levi finally headed over to the gymnastics building with them. They still had a week until Qualifications, but there was no such thing as being too early in preparing for that.

Thankfully, none of them had noticed his absence, they were enjoying their time in Dauper, the view of the sea just beautiful from where they were staying. Apparently, they had gone down to the beach yesterday, and then heard about Levi’s interview when they had gotten back.

Levi supposed he hadn’t really considered that telling the world included telling his team. He supposed he should have told them sooner, at least before he spoke about it on live television. At least they knew now, he supposed.

When he had met up with them at the communal hall in their hotel, they had each turned their heads and almost pouted at him. He hadn’t entirely understood why until Isabel got up and hugged him. Well, he didn’t entirely understand then either until he saw all of their faces together, and then he twigged that they must have watched it.

“I’m fine,” Levi had assured, patting Isabel’s head awkwardly. Hugs were certainly not something Levi knew how to do. It didn’t stop Isabel from clinging to him, however.

“You never said anything,” Petra said, but it wasn’t out of hurt because she had been left out, but because she was hurt on Levi’s part. “You should have told us. We would have tried to do something.”

“What? Change the dates of the Finals?” Levi asked with a smile. He tried peeling Isabel from him, but it wasn’t working, so he just accepted his fate. “It would have been unfair to give you that burden, and there was nothing to be done. Hopefully it just doesn’t happen again.”

“That would suck,” Farlan said.

“It would,” Levi agreed.

“You say you didn’t want to burden us, but you shouldn’t have had to bear it alone,” Petra said, Historia just watching all of this with wide eyes.

Levi nodded. “I know.” He swallowed, Isabel hugging him tighter. “I’m not very good at this… people thing, as I’m sure you’re all aware. I’m trying to be better, and it’s going to take some time, but I would like to speak to you guys more.”

Petra nodded as if she was greatly thankful for this.

“I very much appreciate you guys,” Levi said, slowly because it was not the kind of thing he had ever said. “But I’m sorry I haven’t been able… to… you know.”

Isabel snorted and pulled away. She beamed. “You’re an idiot,” she said, though it was fond.

“Likewise,” Levi said, and he gave her a smile.

The walk to the gymnasium was pleasant, Levi feeling his heart not so tightly constricted any longer. It would still take time to heal these old wounds, but he would get there.

Unfortunately, a lot of his and Erwin’s schedules clashed, but Levi promised to be at every event of Erwin’s he could. Erwin promised the same, but Levi didn’t know how much they would be able to see. They might have to watch a lot of it on repeats when they got back to their room. It would have to be enough this time as Levi was far too committed to his goal of getting his team their Gold. Of course, he wanted the other Golds for himself, but it was one goal at a time, and the Team Finals were first.

The time he spent with his team that morning and afternoon was pleasant, they spoke about the Ceremony, the upcoming Qualifications, Levi tried to calm their nerves about anything, answer any questions they might have had. They did some gentle practice, but Levi encouraged them not to push themselves. He wanted them in peak condition. They were going all the way this year, and he promised them that.

After having socialised with his team more than he had likely ever done, Levi returned to the Village. His heart sank when he got to his room and found Erwin was not there, but he ordered them some food as he waited. It was only another half hour before Erwin came up, but it felt like a lifetime.

They spoke for a while as they ate and then Levi leaned his back onto Erwin’s chest and they watched the programmes getting excited about the Olympics. There were highlights running from previous years and from the Winter Olympics, and Levi always enjoyed watching them. He was featured for his triumphs in his first Olympics, and there was a lot of Erwin from four years ago. They did show one clip of Levi breaking his leg with a short warning to look away. It was just as disgusting as he remembered.

“Did I tell you I was carrying the flag this year?” Erwin asked as they showed some highlights from the Winter Paralympics.

Levi turned his head to look at him, brow furrowed. “You did not mention that, no.”

“Oh.” Erwin laughed through his nose. “I am.”

“Right,” Levi said. “That’s... an achievement.”

“I thought maybe you were going to carry yours, considering your history and your comeback.”

Levi shook his head, looking back to the screen. “Some horse-riding guy is.”

“Would you want to?”

“Maybe. It’s an honour, I suppose, but I’m not in these things for honour.”

He felt Erwin laugh. “You say very interesting things sometimes.”

“Mm,” Levi hummed, enjoying the feel of Erwin kissing into his hair. He was still not used to affection, but he could get there.

A news article came on then, and Levi went to turn it off instantly as it was about him and his relationship with Kenny. However, before he could switch the channel, they said they had word from his uncle and Levi was frozen as he watched it play.

They first played Levi telling Sonny and Bean what he had said about his uncle, about his beatings, and Levi just waited. He wondered if they really had word from Kenny. He wondered if Kenny really was still out there. He knew he had to be, but he didn’t want to think about him, and he certainly didn’t want to see him.

Then Kenny was there, on the screen, and Levi could not turn away or switch it off. He hadn’t changed; his hair was still long, his cheeks were still gaunt, his smile was still crooked. It stirred up anger and fear and sadness all at once. Levi could only stare, the controller still in his hand, frozen in the air as he waited, wondering what was coming next, what Kenny might say.

“What do you say in response to your nephew about the beatings?” some reporter asked, Kenny walking down the street without a care in the world. Levi didn’t know when he had gotten out of prison, but he didn’t care. As long as Kenny stayed away, then that was fine.

Kenny shrugged and snorted at the same time. “Who gives a fuck?” The last word was, of course, bleeped out for the sake of the children who might be watching.

“So, it’s true?”

“I wasn’t in jail for nothing, son.”

“Why do you blame him for Kuchel’s death?”

Kenny rounded on the reporter at the mention of his sister’s name. He likely had a knife on him somewhere, Levi knew that. Even though he wasn’t wielding a weapon, he was still threatening, a darkness to his eyes Levi knew too well.

“If he was not around, she would be alive. Everyone needs to and should know that already.”

“So, you did beat him harsher when it was the date of her death?”

Kenny shrugged, adjusting the strap on his shoulder, the darkness in his eyes fading as if it had never been there. “He made mistakes. He always makes mistakes. Look at the last Games, it’s shameful and even he knows it. He’s knows better than to make excuses, and he’s done just that.”

“It counts as an excuse then?”

Kenny turned away, unlocking a car with the key he had pulled from his pocket. He walked towards it and opened the door, throwing his bag inside before he looked back to the camera again. “Whether it’s valid or not, it’s an excuse, and he should know better than that, particularly at his age. He can blame it all on me and his mother as much as he wants, but he is as good as he is because of being taught to be that good, he didn’t learn that shit on his own. It is his excuses and his weaknesses that will ensure he’ll fuck it up again this year, I don’t doubt it. When he messes up the Team Final again, I’d like to see what excuse he calls upon then. I don’t doubt that Levi is good, because he is, but if he cannot take the blame himself, he won’t ever get an Olympic Gold. Thank you for your time, I’m glad I could be of service, now fuck off.”

Kenny got into his car and slammed the door, driving away with the camera still watching.

They went back to the newsroom and, still, Levi could not switch to a different channel. He felt how still Erwin was, but Levi didn’t know what to do to rectify the situation.

“You won’t mess up this year,” Erwin assured, quiet, perhaps not knowing what else he should or could say.

“I might do.” Levi’s voice was shaking but he didn’t know the exact cause of it. Of course he blamed himself for what happened to his team, for what he did to them, and Kenny was a fool to think otherwise.

“You won’t,” Erwin repeated. He squeezed his arms around Levi before he stretched a hand up and took the remote from him, turning the television off so Levi could stare at it no longer. “Things won’t go wrong this year. You have to know that.”

Levi continued staring at the dark screen, and he shrugged.

“Levi.”

“What?”

“Don’t let him get in your head now. You’ve come too far.”

“He still thinks I’m a brat.”

“And?”

Levi chewed his cheek.

“And?” Erwin repeated. “Fuck him.”

Levi looked at Erwin, eyebrows raised. “You don’t swear.”

Erwin laughed. “When the time calls for it.”

Reaching his hand up, Erwin cupped Levi’s cheek. Levi pressed his face into the contact even if it was so alien to him.

“You are not a brat, Levi Ackerman, and you never have been.”

“You didn’t know me when I was eight.”

“Were you a brat at eight, or did he tell you, you were?”

“Both, I suppose.”

“I don’t think you were a brat,” Erwin said, and it was so gentle, it almost snapped Levi’s heart in two. “Perhaps, you should prove him wrong and get Gold in everything.”

“I don’t think that’s possible.”

“Why?”

“I might get Silver at the vault, if I’m really lucky. And Mikasa’s so strong on everything. And the Vault Finals are still on my mum’s death date.”

“And?”

Levi shrugged.

“I think you can do it. Spite can be the best motivator.”

Levi went back to chewing his cheek. He did not like the control Kenny had over him even after all their years apart.

“It’s up to you, at the end of the day.”

“And the judges,” Levi retorted.

“Then make it so you can’t get deducted on a single thing. You’re a strong gymnast, maybe the best here. Yes, Mikasa broke your World Record, but she hasn’t done it since. You were here before her.”

Levi looked Erwin in the eyes, his blue so calm and steady.

“You are a fantastic gymnast, Levi Ackerman. You know that, Kenny knows that, I know that, the world knows that.”

“That doesn’t change what happens on the day.”

“True,” Erwin said, letting his hand drop and taking one of Levi’s into his own. “But a good attitude and motivation can really help.”

Levi looked down at their connected hands and nodded. “Fuck him.” It felt such a relief to say it, but he wondered how well he would be able to act it out when it came to the day. He would just have to try.

“Exactly,” Erwin said, and his smile was so bright, Levi felt he was looking at a star.

It was so odd but, when they had sex that night, Levi felt loved, and he had not known much love in his time.

The next day, they didn’t spend much time together because they were preparing for the Opening Ceremony. Levi spent most of his time with his team, but that was good. He supposed he had been spending a lot of it with Erwin and, whilst he did want to make the most of him, he was still part of a team. They deserved his time as well, particularly as he was trying to solidify his relationship with them.

Once they were dressed in this year’s Olympic outfits, they were waiting backstage with each other before they could walk out in their procession. Levi was beside Farlan and Historia this year, and he put up with Farlan taking a picture of the three of them so he could upload it to his Instagram. Levi never felt he would be a natural at social media, but he would put up with his friends, because they were his friends, when they wanted to take a picture, even if he still struggled with pulling a smile from nowhere.

When it came time for the Ceremony to begin, they watched where they could see things before they started marching out. As the birthplace of the Olympics, as ever, Utopia walked out first, then Dauper who hosted this year. After that, they went in order of the countries names in Dauper’s language, so Souterrain was only a few countries in. It was nice to be earlier on for once for, so often, they were quite far at the back, waiting for their turn.

It was celebration and cheering and Levi watched the fireworks with as little disdain as possible. He understood why they were so exciting, but he just wanted to go to bed and he thought it went on for far too long. Sure, it was a celebration of the competition, of what it meant, of coming together and celebrating unity, but Levi had competing to do. That involved a lot more rest than they would likely get tonight. Levi wouldn’t be out celebrating, even if his team was, but he would be kept up by their cheering and screaming until the slight hours of the morning.

He did stay out for one drink so his teammates didn’t think him a total recluse and because he was trying to be a better teammate and coach in terms of socialising with them. They had been absolutely shocked and taken far too many pictures of him to try to solidify the idea. He had allowed it, but only because he was forcing himself to be better at this stuff.

He made his excuses after his single drink and retreated to the safety of his room. Erwin wasn’t there yet but Levi knew he was better at interacting in social situations than he was, so he didn’t mind that he had stayed out to drink and celebrate.

Levi fell asleep waiting for Erwin and was awoken when Erwin came through the door, slightly tipsy. His kisses to Levi’s face were sloppy and Levi ignored him as he stripped and dressed in his sleepwear, clambering into bed. Rather naturally, Levi tucked himself into Erwin’s side and he fell asleep there, comforted by Erwin’s warm form.

The week running up to the Qualifications was hectic. Levi’s team was in the first bout of Qualifications and Mikasa, for Shiganshina, was on the second day, and it was causing much excitement. Levi was trying to battle his own nerves, his teammates' nerves, and, now, the media and the excitement and the questions. Some had asked about the Kenny situation and then some were asking if Mikasa would be his excuse this year. Levi decidedly didn’t swear at them, but focused on himself instead. He didn’t want to pay any attention to Mikasa’s statistics or how likely it was that she would beat him at everything, and if he thought about it too much, it would distract him.

Sure, there had been competitors pitted against him before. He was a good gymnast, but no one was endlessly perfect. Some people dominated the sport, but never forever. Levi was used to being compared to others, but Mikasa was different given how quickly she was dominating the sport, given how formidable of an opponent she was.

Many times, Levi was asked if he would fail again this year, if the pressure would get to him. He really didn’t want to think about it, but he was. He wanted to ignore those pressures and focus only on his routines and on his teammates, but the constant questions and the constant reminders helped nothing. He wanted nothing more that to know of gymnastics and swimming, but the world was forcing him to know more, to hear more, and it was frustrating.

The day before the Qualifications, Levi was pacing the room, running his routines through his mind. Erwin was out getting some lastminute practice with his team as they had a relay to do tomorrow after the Heats from one of the freestyles and one of the butterflies, Levi couldn’t remember which lengths for his mind was on other things.

He knew this would likely be his last Olympics. Whilst he was still fit now, in a couple of years’ time, things might be different. If the Olympics were an annual thing, Levi would fit a couple more in, but as it was four years away, Levi just didn’t know. He liked to think he might be able to do another one, but he had to be realistic and the realistic answer was this would be his last one. He wanted as many medals, as many _Golds_ as he could get and the nerves were rampant in his system.

When Erwin returned, hair damp from showering and no longer smelling of chlorine, though Levi would have rather liked it if he was, Erwin saw him pacing and stood, arms crossed and waiting in the doorway. Levi barely noticed him.

In fact, he only noticed him when Erwin approached and put his hands on his shoulders. Levi almost started, but he relaxed when he saw Erwin’s calm demeanour, when he saw the steady nature in his eyes.

“You’ll wear yourself down doing this,” Erwin said.

“I can’t fuck it up.”

“And you’re not going to.”

Levi could only shrug.

“Let’s relax,” Erwin said. “If you get yourself worked up, it will go wrong, and you know that.”

It was Erwin who kept Levi calm that evening, keeping his mind as far from the Qualifications as possible, though it only took a few seconds of silence before he was thinking of it again. Not even sex would help him, so they didn’t have sex that night, but they slept, Levi’s back to Erwin’s chest, and he tried not to have a fitful night.

Somehow, he managed to contain his nerves around his team. He told them he was nervous, because that was an important part of being more open, but he didn’t let them know just how nervous. He didn’t want that to impact them. They needed to focus, and Levi didn’t think letting them know just how nervous he was would help them.

He told none of them to peak during this event. They needed to do well enough to qualify, but if they showed off too much and they didn’t do as well in the Finals, their narrative would be that they could never do well during the Finals, and Levi didn’t want that. Qualifications could be difficult because, if you fell at the first hurdle, there was no point in returning for the Finals, so there was a lot to think about.

He stretched alongside his team, warming up his body in preparation for all the competing he had to do. He knew the cameras were there, he knew the commentators would be wondering about him, he knew the audience would be watching, but he forgot about them. He thought only of his mother, and he hoped she would be proud of him.

During the entirety of his Qualifications, Levi thought of nothing but himself and of his performance. Despite the nerves, everything went according to plan. He got the scores he wanted to get them through to the Finals and his team did the same. It was such a difficult balance, trying to show off enough to qualify but not too much to stop expectations soaring, it was difficult knowing where to draw the line.

He did not show off everything he had because he was saving that for the Finals. He had to impress if he wanted Golds, and giving it all up too soon would diminish that. But he let his body do what came naturally to him, and he knew it was impressive.

He did not pay attention to the others, he did not pay attention to the cameras, he did not pay attention to much of the judges, other than when he bowed and had to look at his scores. His focus was on himself and on his team. He would give them their improvements at the end of the day, maybe even tomorrow. Right now, they were to focus on the moment, on qualifying, and Levi didn’t want them distracted for a second.

By the end of the day, they were third on the leader board. Sure, it wasn’t as good as last time and, if the worst happened, they could very well be pushed off the board completely, But Levi was happy with it, he was proud of his team.

He knew a lot of people were going to say that they had been nervous, that they had been worried about Levi, that Levi was feeling the pressure and that that was why they hadn’t gotten the scores they were predicted to get. It wasn’t anything like that, but people would continue speculating until they died. Levi told his team to pay zero attention to what anybody said and just relax. He told them the things they could do to improve and he said to mull that over tomorrow, but other than that, to relax and enjoy the time they had before the Finals.

After a small interview at the side lines where Levi’s team answered more than he had because his mind was exhausted and he wanted his bed, they went back to their rooms. It wasn’t too late, and Levi thought Erwin was likely still competing. He checked the television and saw Erwin had just completed the Semi-Final for the two-hundred metre freestyle and Mike had done the same for the one-hundred metre butterfly, both going through to the Final tomorrow. They were setting up for the one-hundred metre freestyle relay and Levi thought, if he went down now, he could make it and watch them. So he changed as quickly as he could and left to go to the natatorium.

He got there just as the teams were being announced and being able to see Erwin in his speedos with so much of his skin on show always made Levi hot under the collar. His body was so glorious, tanned and hairless, though Levi hoped, one day, he might see his chest covered in hair. He did so think he might look even more glorious with chest hair.

Erwin was last in line as their strongest swimmer, and Levi could watch him as much as he wanted. Of course, he would watch the team as well to see if they were winning. He thought he should likely be cheering on Souterrain for they were in the Final as well, but he wanted Erwin to win so they might celebrate together. Erwin could get his first medal this evening, and Levi wanted to celebrate that with him when he was done.

When the buzzer went, Mike got them a strong lead, Levi watching as he sped through the water at a ridiculous pace. As Levi still couldn’t swim, it was much more impressive to him.

The way they pummelled through the water and the way they dove was incredible, and Levi could not help but watch them, entranced. It was fascinating, and they were such powerhouses in the water, moving as if it was nothing to them. The power in their limbs was amazing, and Levi could not believe he had not watched much swimming prior to meeting Erwin because he loved watching people display their strengths.

Of course, he was waiting for Erwin and, when Nanaba was done, Erwin dove in, his form perfect. The way his tanned body moved through the water was incredible, and Levi could not even fathom watching the other swimmers. There was a surge of admiration that Levi felt within him when Erwin was in the water, because he knew his feelings for Erwin were there, forcing themselves through the harsh shell of his exterior, and he wondered if Erwin might feel such a thing when he was watching Levi. He wasn’t sure and he wouldn’t ever ask, but he hoped he might.

His lead was spectacular and Levi thought Erwin might have another Olympics in him. Maybe not, maybe he was the same as Levi and could do a few more years but not four, Levi didn’t know. There was the very encroaching issue of his shoulder injury which Levi was sure was the most frustrating thing. In fact, he knew it was the most frustrating thing because he had broken his leg and could not compete for over a year. For an athlete, that was agony.

Maybe Erwin would be able to overcome it and keep swimming, maybe not. Whatever happened in the future, that was the future. Right now, his speed, his pace, his strength, it was remarkable, and Levi could watch him for hours.

When Erwin touched the wall, many seconds between him and second place, the crowd cheered. A lot of the times, people cheered when it wasn’t even their own team just because that was the spirit of the Games and, although Levi didn’t cheer obviously, he felt a pride in his heart. Erwin had won his first Gold, and he hoped that boded well for everything that was to come.

Levi stayed around to watch them step onto the podium, watched them receive their medals and stand proud as their national anthem was played. Even though Erwin wasn’t from Souterrain, he felt proud. Maybe it was because of his feelings towards Erwin, maybe it was just because the Games instilled pride into everyone, Levi didn’t know. He did know that it felt good to watch Erwin with the Gold around his neck, and he wanted one of his own, and he had to make sure he got one this year.

Levi waited for Erwin outside the changing rooms and Erwin smiled when he saw him, having showered. The rest of his team elbowed each other and made faces when they saw Levi waiting for him, but he decided not to question it. He wasn’t sure how he felt about their relationship being known by other people, and he didn’t want it to go public. So, to forget about that, he ignored it, glancing at Erwin’s medal around his neck and wanting his own.

The design this year was… interesting. Levi wasn’t sure how he felt about it. It was the medal itself that was important, not the design, but Levi had much preferred the Mitras design, which was more elegant and simplistic. The Dauper medal had, of course, ‘Dauper Games’ with the year written on the medal in the middle, but then there were random lines that went across it, interweaving and crisscrossing everywhere. It had something to do with the Dauper flag, Levi had been informed of that when he first saw the design, and it wasn’t ugly, but he didn’t love it.

He reached his hand out and traced across it. He wanted his own, but being able to touch Erwin’s was fine, it would do for now.

The rest of Erwin’s team went on ahead and Erwin touched Levi gently on the back so they could walk together.

“How did yours go?” Erwin asked as they walked through the Olympians only halls so they could make a discreet exit to the Village.

“Fine, we’re in third right now,” Levi answered. “So we’ll likely go to the Finals.”

“Congratulations.”

Levi snorted, holding open the door so Erwin could walk through it.

“What?” Erwin asked.

“I think you might deserve a touch more congratulations than me.”

Erwin laughed gently and said, voice low, “I suppose we will just have to get to that when we are in private.”

And, boy, did they.


	12. A Tree Called Life

The next morning, sore though feeling complete as he often did after a night with Erwin, Levi was rudely awoken by a knocking at his door. He hadn’t actually ever had visitors, no one else had been in his room except for Erwin. He honestly had no idea who it was or why they were coming to see him.

“Who is it?” Levi called when the knocking finally ceased.

Erwin had awoken as well, stretching his limbs where he could as Levi was resting fully on his chest. The bed was not the right size for two people, so they had to sleep lying on each other.

“It’s Farlan,” the voice, Farlan, replied. “I text you and you never answered, so I thought you might be dead.”

Levi looked at his phone and noticed he did, indeed, have fourteen texts from Farlan, twelve from Isabel, and a single text from Petra. He wondered if some atrocity had happened. However, it was more likely that it wasn’t anything at all because this was just how his team behaved.

“Can I come in?” Farlan asked when Levi did not reply.

Levi glanced at Erwin, who looked like he had fallen asleep again.

“Sure,” Levi answered as Farlan had a key to the room. He was not bothered if Farlan saw him with Erwin, though he was sure Isabel would know soon after, and that would likely be followed by Petra and Historia knowing as well. He wasn’t sure what they would all say, but he was sure there would be jokes exchanged for a long, long time.

Farlan opened the door and shut it before he saw the scene in front of him, Levi pushing himself up so he wasn’t lying directly on Erwin. Whilst he was getting used to the affection and attention, he would not do it publicly, even if Farlan was the only other one in the room.

“Oh,” Farlan said, waving at Erwin who nodded at him, still half-asleep. “This is how you celebrate, then?”

Levi rolled his eyes, Erwin laughing through his nose at the slight truth of it.

“Did you want something in particular, Farlan?” Levi asked, wanting him out of the room as soon as possible.

“Oh, sort of,” Farlan said, snapping back to Levi. “After yesterday, a lot of places have changed their standings.”

“On what?”

“On how well they think we and, well, _you_ will do in the Finals.”

“They put us further down?”

Farlan nodded. “To Bronze, if we’re lucky they said.”

“Yeah, but you know that’s not the case, right?” Levi asked. “I said we shouldn’t peak because no one should peak in Qualifications. And I want us to shine in the Finals, Farlan. You know that, right?”

“Yeah, I know… But, well, it’s a little disheartening.” Farlan ran a hand through his hair and smiled at Erwin before looking back at Levi. “I think we’ll go even lower after today, after Mikasa…”

“Farlan.”

“What?”

“What we’re predicted, that doesn’t mean it’ll happen,” Levi said.

“I mean, sure,” Erwin said, and they both looked at him. “Look what happened last time. You were meant to win Golds and, well, _that_ didn’t happen.”

Farlan snickered and Levi slapped his chest.

“Asshole,” Levi chastised, but he was kind of enjoying it. It almost made him smile, and that was incredibly peculiar. “Though the point is, in a dickish way, true.”

“I suppose…” Farlan said, but he didn’t seem to believe it.

“Farlan,” Levi began, wanting Farlan to truly listen to him. “We’re better than what we showed them yesterday, we are all aware of that.”

“I want Gold, Levi.”

“I know,” Levi said. “We’ll get one. And, if we don’t, I’ll take one of Erwin’s. He won’t mind, he’s got a fucking hundred.”

“Greedy,” Farlan joked, smiling at Erwin.

“Very,” Levi agreed. “Lock the door on your way out.”

Farlan laughed and did just that with a final goodbye to them both.

Levi sighed and collapsed back onto Erwin’s chest, Erwin hugging his arms around him and pulling him closer.

“This is the last thing we fucking need,” Levi said into Erwin’s chest, kissing across the smooth skin and breathing him in.

“I know,” Erwin said, touching so much of Levi’s body with his own.

“When’s your first event?”

“Later, the butterfly is first. Then it’s my Final, then another freestyle, and then the Heats and Semi-Finals for one of the backstrokes.”

“You could have two more Golds today.”

Levi felt Erwin’s laugh as it rippled through him. “Maybe. Are you watching the other Qualifications today?”

“No,” Levi answered, sitting himself up again and stretching. “I never do.”

“So…”

“Yes, I’ll watch you fucking swim, Erwin,” Levi said, rolling his eyes even though Erwin couldn’t see him.

Levi stood, unbothered by his nakedness and Erwin watching him as he dressed. He wanted to shower, but he thought it might be a touch inappropriate if he made the walk down the hallway without any clothes on.

After they both showered, they made their way down to eat and then they went to the natatorium so Erwin could warm up his body.

By no surprise, Erwin won each of the swimming events. Levi watched eagerly, watching his tanned body move through the water, faster than everyone around him. He was incredible, and Levi was sure Erwin would have to compete in the Olympics in four years’ time because he was dominating the sport. Maybe he wouldn’t be this powerful in four years and maybe his shoulder was going to prevent that, but he was so powerful now, Levi couldn’t imagine a swimming event without him.

The anthem played twice and Erwin got his two Gold medals around his neck and Levi was so proud of him, his chest swelled. He may have gotten them for Rose and not Souterrain, but Levi couldn’t care less. He was proud of Erwin and amazed by his feats.

When they returned to the Village, Erwin went upstairs to change and Levi stopped by the food hall, seeing his team there. Their faces were of concern, watching their phones, and Levi decided he would not go towards them. Maybe he wanted to comfort them, maybe he should want to say that they were better than they had shown yesterday, but he didn’t need any more panic about tomorrow. He would reassure them tomorrow because, now, he wanted to feel pride.

Erwin came up to him once he had gotten some food to go, and he asked, “Do you want to go swimming?”

Levi looked at him, brow thoroughly furrowed. “You just did that?”

“Yes, competing,” Erwin refuted. “How about some relaxing swimming? I would quite enjoy it. They have a chill pool this year. It might be a little busy, I don’t know, but it would be nice.”

Levi shuffled under his gaze, embarrassed that he couldn’t swim more than ever because he was stood in front of an Olympic swimmer. Erwin waited patiently for him, but Levi could only clear his throat.

“What?”

“I… uh…” Levi cleared his throat again. “I can’t, uh… I can’t swim.”

Of course, there was no judgement in his eyes. But Levi still felt ridiculous, and he shifted under the gaze of Erwin’s beautiful, blue eyes.

“Well,” Erwin began, smiling, “how about you learn now? You’re in good hands.”

“I don’t have anything to swim in,” Levi said, hoping it was a good excuse.

“We’re at the Olympics, Levi,” Erwin responded. “There are plenty of places where we might be able to buy something for you.”

He went to protest further but Erwin took his wrist that was not holding their food and dragged him away, and Levi could not deny Erwin anything he wanted.

Once they got Levi some swim trunks, which he still did not want and was sure would be a touch too big on him, they made their way to the swimming pool the athletes could use in their downtime.

It was quite enormous, Levi found. It was made like that so lots of people could use it at once, and there was a section reserved for the Olympic swimmers who were practising, but there was a lot of it just being used recreationally. As Levi presumed the people in there currently were mixed between sports and countries, he felt more relaxed about being with Erwin here, about being together.

Another issue, Levi found that he had not considered before, was the fact his back was fully revealed now. When he wore his singlet or a vest or even a t-shirt, you could only see the top of his back, or his shoulders, and those were the only scars that could be seen.

Wearing only swimming shorts, his entire back was on show and everyone could see each of the scars that littered his skin. There were dozens of them, crisscrossing and overlapping, various widths and lengths from different times where he had pissed off or upset Kenny in some way or another. Levi hadn’t really considered that until he had changed into these swimming shorts.

As Erwin had seen them often, he thought nothing of it, but Levi hadn’t been so sure, and he had hesitated. Erwin had said they were fine and that no one would notice, but that was not the case. Lots of people saw, almost staring at the sheer volume of scars on his back. He ignored them, but that didn’t stop them staring. Levi might have felt self-conscious, but Erwin not making a single note of it was reassuring, and so, despite feeling their stares, he moved on.

They went to the shallow end, where it was mostly empty, and Erwin sat down and then pushed himself into the water. Levi stood, watching, for he was sure the water would come up very high on his body. He also could not swim, and he did not want to get in the pool for that reason as well.

Erwin turned back to look at him, smiling up at him, gesturing for Levi to join. Levi crossed his arms and tensed. It would be ridiculous for him to drown a day before he was meant to compete in the Team Finals.

Erwin laughed gently through his nose. “Standing in the water will not harm you.”

“I don’t know if you noticed, Erwin,” Levi began, tepidly sitting on the edge of the pool and dipping only his legs in. “But I am not exactly the tallest, so the water could, very well, come up to my eyes.”

“It won’t,” Erwin said, his smile encouraging enough.

With a steadying breath, Levi pushed himself into the pool. It came up to his chest, and he was none too pleased.

“You’re like a cat in a bath,” Erwin said, laughing.

Levi glared.

“Now,” Erwin began, “you swim.”

He continued glaring.

“All right,” Erwin said, smiling all the same. “How much experience do you have in the water?”

“You sound ridiculous.”

Erwin laughed.

“This is my first time,” Levi answered.

“In a pool?”

“In water.”

“Really?” Erwin asked, shocked. For someone who had practically grown up in a pool, Levi could understand it but it didn’t take away from the reality that Levi hadn’t ever been in water before.

“I’ve had showers and the occasional bath, you fool,” Levi clarified. “But Kenny didn’t ever think swimming lessons were important.”

Erwin’s eyes softened for a moment.

“Okay,” Erwin said. “Let’s see what we can do.”

The next couple of hours went by and neither did much swimming. Levi was distracted by Erwin’s chest, and any techniques Erwin suggested sounded ridiculous. Levi attempted to lift his legs off the floor once, hated it, and decided he would spend his time leaning against the wall and watching Erwin swim around him. It was a much better way to spend his time.

When they got out of the pool, Erwin went to go into his own shower cubicle, but Levi had snuck in with him. He wouldn’t suck him off or touch him, but he wanted to shower with him because they hadn’t had the chance to do it at all in Dauper. They had done it so often four years ago, Levi wanted to do it again, even if it was in a shower cubicle where, if anyone ducked low enough, they might see two pairs of legs in the stall.

They kissed, their bodies wet and their skin sliding over each other. Levi ran his hands over the slicked muscles, touching him and wondering at how gorgeous Erwin’s body might look were it covered in hair. Hairless was fine too, but Levi liked a man with a touch of hair, and he thought Erwin might look like a god when he allowed his hair to grow.

By some miracle, they were not caught showering together, and they left the stall without being noticed. Even though Levi was sure no one would care if Erwin and Levi were seen together, he was sure doing something so private in public was not something he wanted to be caught doing.

When they got back to their room, Levi felt the nerves wash over him completely, particularly staring at the three Gold medals sat on the desk. There was a possibility he might have one tomorrow. By tomorrow evening, Levi could have a medal around his neck, an Olympic one no less. He had a Silver, he had Bronzes, but he wanted a Gold. He might be able to get one, but it wasn’t set in stone. And the fact he might come so far and fail was almost destroying him.

He got a text from Farlan saying Mikasa’s team got the highest score for the Qualifications and Souterrain had been moved down to sixth place for TQ scores. Levi had looked at the message and thrown his phone on the spare bed. He didn’t need any more reminders of what tomorrow was.

Seeming to realise the crisis Levi was going through, Erwin came up behind him and hugged him, arms wrapping around Levi and pulling his body into his own. It comforted him, but not as much as he might have liked for his mind was still racing and he still had so much to prove. He had done it at the other championships, but he needed to do it at the Olympics as well. He had to so he might feel worth something, so his achievements meant something. It was a lot of pressure to put on something that could easily go wrong, but a lot of Levi’s life was like that.

They didn’t have sex that night for Levi was too tense, but he would have liked the distraction. Instead, Levi let himself be hugged into Erwin’s chest and he fell asleep, dreaming of Gold and cheering.

He was a nervous wreck the next morning and nothing would calm him. He dressed in his singlet and zipped his jacket over it after showering, he watched Erwin dress, watched the news, but nothing helped. In particular, the latter did not help for he was on much of the Olympic news, and he did not want to think about what this day meant to so many people.

Erwin tried to kiss reassurances into his lips and, whilst Levi was a big fan of them, it did not help. He was jittery and he did not remember the last time he had been like this, if he had _ever_ been like this before.

They had to part ways but Erwin promised to come by later because he thought he was going to finish before Levi today. He said he could stay to watch Mike for the butterfly, but he wanted to support Levi, and Levi was thankful for it though his voice would not form the words.

At the gymnastics building, Levi felt the atmosphere before it washed over him. They stretched together, waiting for their day to begin. He had been called over for an interview, but he had pretended not to see them and spoken to Farlan instead. However, he regretted that instantly because Farlan had asked if Erwin had eased him up the night before and Levi thought the world might judge him if he slapped Farlan on live television. He considered it, but still thought it too much.

He was having issues staying still, but he had to. If the world saw him as nervous, they would really start to question his ability, and they were already doing just that. He knew a lot of eyes would be on him, and then on Mikasa, and he did not need more pressure than he already felt. It had not overwhelmed him before, he would not let it now.

His first apparatus was the high bar, and he went up the same time as Historia went over to the beam. As he settled his focus purely onto the bar in front of him, he chalked his hands and tightened the bindings that would support his wrists. The rest of the world fell silent to him then as he steadied his breathing. He could not halt for long but he needed just a moment. This time last year, it had gone so wrong, but he would not let it this time. He was going to make his mother proud because he knew, deep down, she _would_ be proud.

His D-Score was high, all he had to do was perform his skills, not let himself falter or halt too much between movements as he built up his momentum. He could do it. He had done it, he had been _doing_ it for these last couple of years, all he had to do was let that momentum continue. Sure, Mikasa might be right behind him, but he could do this.

As he performed his Kovacs and his full out stretched and his Czech giant swing, he thought about his mother. He wanted to take her presence from being this daunting, haunting thing, and make her this thing of inspiration. He would use the memories he had of her, which were few and faded more and more each day, and use them to make him better, to make him stronger and prouder of himself.

He knew she would have wanted to see him perform, how much she would have willed him on, been at every single one of his competitions. Even though she had not had a massive part in his life, she meant the world to him. Despite not being around to see him any longer, despite having been gone from his life for almost two decades, he wanted to make her proud.

And he would spite Kenny in doing so.

He did well, he knew that in his heart, and when the score of 15.46 showed up on the screen with his name, something settled in him then; thinking of his mother in a positive way, it made him do well. He would think of her, of his team, and he would do them proud by performing his best for them. He was capable of performing perfectly. He had done it so many times before and he was going to do it for the Olympics as well.

Of course, there were other teams getting in their way and Mikasa and Levi’s scores were very similar. She got 15.7 for the rings when Levi got 15.766. For the pommel horse, Levi got 15.733 and Mikasa got 15.833. For the uneven bars, Levi got 15.666 and Mikasa got 15.7. It was back and forth the entire time. Although there were so many others competing, Levi knew a lot of people were watching Levi and Mikasa, and she was an intimidating competitor.

The vault was one of Levi’s biggest challenges. As he stared it down, noting Mikasa’s score of 15.653, he was washed over with memories of last time, of hearing people screaming when it had happened. His leg twitched for a minute but he would not let it get the best of him. What had happened had happened, Levi was no longer that gymnast but a transformed one, one who had come through it and gotten better. He could do this.

He knew there were so many eyes on him, he knew that so many people were watching and waiting, wondering what would happen. It had been this thing that had broken him last time, this was the very moment that had come so close to destroying his career, taking away the thing he had loved the most.

But he wouldn’t let that happen this time. Sure, he had chosen a high difficultly vault and that had surprised his team, but if he didn’t try, if he didn’t do his best here, then what was the point? If he went in with a low difficulty, sure, he had still done it, still competed on the apparatus that had come so close to destroying him, but he wanted to prove to the world that it was possible to come back from the things he had come back from.

As he spun in the air with his straight Yurchenko with double twist, he hoped to whoever might be listening that this would go well. If his mother watched over him, his belief in the afterlife not something he often thought about, but it was coming to him now, then he wanted her to know that everything he did was for her, for her memory.

This thing, right here, these twists in the air, this landing that was damn near perfect, only with a slight wobble, that was for her too. Everything he did, it was for her, and he hoped that the world knew his mother had been his inspiration, always. Sure, it had gotten complicated with Kenny and the force he had instilled into Levi’s life, but his love from gymnastics had stemmed from his love for his mother, and that was always going to be rooted in everything he did.

It was odd that the wait for his vault score was almost more nervous than he was when he waited for his beam score. This score, however, was a redemption, a way of showing what he was capable of, and he could not stop watching the screen as the judges decided Levi’s fate.

The 15.991 he received was well worth the wait. The applause went straight to Levi’s heart, as did the sight of Erwin walking in and sitting in the reserved seats that sat just behind the main floor. Erwin smiled and clapped as well, sending a wink Levi’s way when he saw him looking.

Levi wondered if the cameras might be on him, on the swimmer who had come to watch the gymnastics, and Levi instantly went to check his phone to see if Erwin had won. Of course, he had, another Olympic Gold to his name. Levi wanted to greet him but thought that sort of publicity might be a touch too much, and Levi didn’t need any more cameras on him than there already were.

His last apparatus was the beam and, in some ways, it was the one he was the most nervous about. Sure, the vault had been the one to cripple him, but the beam was his speciality, it was the one he loved the most. If he messed this one up, Levi wasn’t sure he would ever want to compete again. The balance beam had been his first love, and he did not want to disappoint it.

As he approached it, he thought of his mother again, and he thought of Erwin, watching him, willing him to win. This was his last apparatus, there was not many more to go for the other gymnasts. It would be waiting then, waiting to see what Mikasa scored, waiting to see what scores were needed to get on the podium and what scores would beat them off it. If he did this well, he would have a Gold medal, and Levi wanted it more than he had ever wanted anything before.

He had crafted the highest D-Score he could possibly execute and he planned an even higher one when it came to the Event Finals. But that was in the future. He was focusing on the moment, on what was about to happen. He didn’t want his mind to be on anything but the beam and himself. Sure, he wanted Kuchel in the back of his mind, Erwin and his team as well, but he wanted his main focus to be himself.

With his G-Grade, round-off, Arabian salto, Levi set himself up perfectly, landing without a stumble and keeping his form well elevated. There was not a stumble nor a hesitation as he ticked off his dance elements, connecting them for a higher value; the straddle jump with half turn from side stand straight into split leap with full turn, placing him in the middle of the beam.

To set himself up at the end of the beam, he performed his Fouette hop with half turn to land in arabesque into an illusion turn, combining them again to receive higher points. He always planned his routines to the finest inch and he rarely missed out on that. Well, he had done at the last Games, but he didn’t now. Although he had never been able to consider himself perfect before, he was going to start doing that. He crafted his routines so he could perform them perfectly, and that was what he did.

His acrobatic series involved three moves, starting with a tucked Arabian salto into a layout back salto with full twist that finished with an Onodi to two feet, placing him once again in the middle of the beam. His form had been a touch off and he felt he might have forgotten to point his toes, but he would still say it was pretty close to being perfect.

The switch split leap placed him at the other end of the beam so he could perform his next three acrobatic moves in a sequence. He liked that momentum and he had never understood those who could perform one at a time. You only had to connect a couple of them to get the required markings, but Levi couldn’t imagine breaking up that flow. He loved moving seamlessly from one move into the next, and if a beam ran on for metres and metres, he could only imagine the kind of fun and momentum he would be able to get from that. 

Whilst it was quite impossible to connect every single movement, his still performed everything with elegance. His next turn, his highest graded in this routine, was a double turn with leg in split. He wobbled a little, but only because it was difficult to keep your balance whilst holding your leg in the air and turning. He still managed it and it was nowhere near the wobble from four years ago.

His last acrobatic series consisted of a Gainer back flic flac into a free aerial cartwheel that finished with a front pike salto with take-off from two feet. As this placed him, yet again, at the end of the beam, he could perform his F-Grade dismount that was a Gainer stretched back salto with triple twist off the end of the beam, landing perfectly, without a single wobble.

It was a great routine. Levi had crafted it to be perfect and he had performed it, yes, with some minor blips, but still pretty perfectly. He finished proud, back straight and arms in the air, a curt bow to the judges before he left.

His very rewarding score was of 16.233. It was another Olympic Record, Levi having broken his own record from four years ago. Maybe Mikasa still held the World Record, but Levi had two Olympic Records now. But he was proud of himself whatever. If he were a more emotional man, he might have cried because he knew he had made his mother proud. She would have been proud of him for that score, he had given everything he had, and he had shown the world that it took being beaten down to rise again, better, stronger.

He glanced at Erwin as the room filled with applause, and his smile was bright and beautiful. Levi could have kissed him, he really could have.

Instead, he went back to his team and he hugged them. He rarely hugged them, he had never hugged Historia, he had only hugged Petra once or twice, but he hugged them all now because he wanted to.

After that, it was watching the rest of his team compete on their last apparatus and watching the other teams as well. Souterrain and Shiganshina switched between first and second place constantly and there was about five points between them and Reiss, so Levi thought they had at least secured a Silver medal. Really, it all came down to the beam for the other teams could not make up five points unless something went horribly wrong, and it was only Mikasa who could beat Levi at the beam.

When it came down to Shiganshina’s last apparatus, it was Mikasa on the beam. She would have to score 16.3 points to take the lead, and, whilst it would be 0.42 of a margin, it was still a margin. It all came down to this and Levi could not stop watching her.

She was a wonderful gymnast, she really knew what she was doing and how to compete. She knew how to perform, that was obvious, and she was enchanting to watch. She very well could beat him, she very well could have stolen the Gold from his fingers, and Levi would think it just. He wouldn’t want that to be the case, but he would understand it.

Her D-Score wasn’t as high as Levi’s, but she could make up some of those points in the execution. Levi watched for every move, not wanting her to make a mistake, but watching in case she did. There was the occasional blip, it was hard to avoid on the beam given, no matter how perfect your balance was, it could always be a little thrown off. She did well despite those small wobbles and the occasional un-pointed toe or a connection that took just a touch too long.

When she dismounted rather perfectly, Levi felt the whole room’s eyes go to the board to watch for the score. Levi thought the entire building was holding its breath.

16.166.

Souterrain had won the Olympic Gold. _Levi_ had won the Olympic Gold.

He had not realised his hand had gone to his mouth, he had not realised his eyes were watering. He blinked them away to see the rest of his team jumping and cheering, smiles broad and wide. His first instinct was to look at Erwin who was smiling and applauding gently. Levi gestured for him to come down and Erwin hesitated for only a moment before he did.

Although he had not planned it and although he never thought he would go public with his relationship with Erwin Smith, the Olympic swimmer from Rose, when Erwin was close enough, Levi jumped up and kissed him on the mouth.

There were other gymnasts who still had some last apparatus to compete on to secure their place and their scores, and it might have been unfair to celebrate when others were still competing, but Levi could not help it. And, so, he could not help kissing Erwin now either.

Sure, he only really realised what he had done when they had stopped kissing, but he had been too overwhelmed by the moment to really think about it. He wanted to celebrate with someone he had feelings for, who he shared something with, and his first thought had been of Erwin.

He did not look around at his teammates or the rest of the world, but he looked at Erwin, who was smiling brightly.

“I can’t believe I just fucking did that on live TV,” Levi said, still holding onto Erwin because his knees were weak. Not from having competed so fiercely, but because of this overwhelming feeling.

Erwin laughed. “You certainly did.”

“Are you okay with it?” Levi asked, quiet, still being held by him, his legs around Erwin’s hips.

Erwin nodded. “I’m very okay with it.”

Erwin kissed him again, shorter this time, and then Levi stepped back onto the floor.

“You also just swore again on live television. They’ll likely pick that up too.” Erwin squeezed his hands that were on Levi’s shoulders. “But congratulations.”

“Thank you,” Levi said. “I need to go do interviews.”

“Sure. I’ll wait here for you.”

Levi nodded, and gestured for his stunned team to follow him over to Mikasa’s team so they might shake hands and congratulate them on their Silver medal. Eren looked disappointed, but Armin was damn gleeful to be shaking each of their hands, and none of them mentioned a thing about Erwin Smith.

“You’re a very good gymnast,” Levi said to Mikasa, shaking her hand firmly.

“Thank you,” Mikasa said, voice quiet. “I’m glad you’ve got your Gold, I’m very happy for you. I was disheartened when I saw when happened last time. You inspired me, and I think I might have even been a touch disappointed had we won. Only a touch though.” She smiled sweetly.

Levi nodded.

“I’ll try harder at the Event Finals,” Mikasa assured.

“I’ll see you there,” Levi replied, shaking her hand again as they went over for their interviews.

Of course, the first question was, “Levi, was that Erwin Smith of Rose you were just… with?”

“Yes,” Levi answered, wanting to talk more about the feat he had just completed.

“Oh, wow…”

“They hand out condoms, what do they expect us to do?” Levi asked, relief pouring out of him in humour he likely shouldn’t be saying in a live interview. There was laughter, though, so he thought he got away with it.

“I suppose that’s fair,” they said, and then asked, “and how are you feeling?”

Levi barely had to think before he answered, “Proud.”

“It’s well deserved.” They smiled. “After the Qualifications, people were worried maybe the pressure had gotten to you, to your team. How did you pull it back?”

“We didn’t pull it back,” Isabel answered. “We always want to peak during this, during the Finals. Levi taught us how.”

“So it really was just biding your time?”

“Yup,” Farlan answered with a smile.

“Well, you certainly had the world shaken,” they said. “How will you celebrate tonight?”

Levi cut Farlan off before he could say anything about Erwin. “A spa day before the Individual Final, I think that will do nicely.”

“After today, Souterrain will have high hopes for you and Farlan for the Individuals. Good luck.”

“Thank you,” Farlan and Levi said in unison, and they were allowed to go.

Levi went over to Erwin again, knowing the cameras might be on them but wanting a moment of quiet before they got their medals. To have an Olympic Gold around his neck would solidify so many of his dreams and aspirations, and he needed a moment of quiet before it happened.

“I cannot explain to you the looks I have just received,” Erwin said when Levi had joined him, kneeling by his bag to get a drink.

“From who?” Levi stood beside Erwin again. He started drinking as he glanced around the room and saw, indeed, they were receiving many looks. He shrugged it off. Not everyone was okay with the gay thing, but Levi couldn’t give less of a fuck.

“Everyone.”

“Mm,” Levi said. “Congratulations, on your billionth Gold.”

“Thank you,” Erwin said, smiling at him. “I suppose this will be quite the talking point.”

“Good luck in your interviews tomorrow.”

“I will need it.”

Levi snorted and they spent their time waiting just talking and watching the other gymnasts as they finished.

When Levi was called up to the podium with the rest of his team, he felt such a swelling pride. The moments before they were allowed to step onto the podium, before they got their medals, Levi could not believe they had made it. All the hard work he had put in, it had been worth it, and he felt worthy of standing next to Mikasa’s team as they got their Silver.

The weight of the medal was intense, but Levi would hold it up even if it was double his weight. Of course, it wasn’t that bad, but it was heavier than he expected, and he wore it with pride.

It solidified so much inside him, made him feel like the two decades of work had been worth it. He had fought and fought and fought to get here, to compete and to get his Gold, and he very nearly welled up as the medal was hung around his neck and as they prepared to play Souterrain’s national anthem for the first time in gymnastics for a fair few games.

When their national anthem played, Levi felt his chest swell further. His team were around him, Erwin was watching, his mother was on his mind, and he had his first Olympic Gold around his neck. Not only was he a successful Olympian, he had a Gold medal now. It had been his dream since he was a young boy and to have it, Levi couldn’t even comprehend how to explain what he was feeling. There were still things to do, but Levi had achieved his dreams and he was, perhaps, the happiest he had ever been.


	13. Higher

For once in his life, Levi celebrated properly. Dragging Erwin along with him, which pleased Farlan to no end, they all went out to have a few drinks. Levi said he would not be staying long because Erwin had competitions tomorrow and everyone thought that was very sweet, which made Levi glare.

Levi settled just for a pint of whatever, he was really not that much of a drinker, and Erwin got a cider, which was apparently very popular in Rose. Levi had one sip, but it was a bit sweet for him.

Very casually and in a way Levi was not used to, Erwin sat with his arm around him. It wasn’t something Levi disliked, but he hadn’t ever brought anyone he was seeing to an outing with his team, and so it was even odder for them to see this casual affection. Isabel looked with wide eyes before she shook herself out of it and smiled brightly.

“Can I ask you questions about swimming, Erwin?” Isabel asked, sipping at her fruity cocktail.

Erwin nodded. “There isn’t much to it, but if you want.”

This incurred Isabel asking about a hundred questions about swimming and routines and Erwin’s shoulder that Levi ignored, talking to Petra and Farlan instead. It was a nice, casual atmosphere and Levi felt relaxed, even leaning in to Erwin at times because it was so easy and relaxed.

Now that their relationship was known, now that the public were aware of it, Levi felt much more relaxed. Sure, it was another piece of himself that he was offering to the public that he never thought he would, but he didn’t mind. It was relieving more than anything else.

When Levi had finished his pint, he waited patiently for Erwin to finish. He supposed it was probably nice for him to talk to people not only from a different country but from a different sport as well. Erwin was good at socialising, so he probably had made plenty of friends, and now he had these guys as well. Levi could imagine he was enjoying it.

As he waited for Erwin to finish, he checked his phone, but he regretted it almost instantly. He had so many notifications regarding his display of romance earlier that evening. He didn’t usually look at the articles that regarded him but his curiosity was piqued by what kind of things they might be talking about, particularly regarding Erwin, so he first opened Twitter, which was a bit of a mistake.

There were lots of Tweets that were excited, that had rows and rows and rows of hearts and heart-eyes emojis alongside a picture of Levi kissing Erwin, being held by him with his legs around Erwin’s hips. He supposed it had been a bit intimate for a public event, but he hadn’t really thought about it at the time, he had just been overwhelmed by his success that he hadn’t been able to stop himself.

It resulted in a lot of pictures from a lot of different angles, a lot of the Tweets with too many exclamation points, something about how they were screaming with excitement, Levi wasn’t too sure. But that support was nice. He liked a couple of them, because why the hell not? Why not cause some chaos?

Then there were the not so nice Tweets with some very lovely slurs that Levi ignored completely. He had never had a problem with his sexuality despite so many people telling him he should, so he was not bothered by these Tweets now and he never would be.

Some of them were valid, not the slurs and shit, but the ones that said this was too public of a display. It probably was. If Levi had seen other sportspeople do this, he would have been disturbed by how public it was. But it had overcome him and he wouldn’t change it now. It had been nice, and he had enjoyed it really.

Some of the others speculated he was doing this for publicity. Levi didn’t totally understand that theory. A lot of times in his life, people had said he did things for publicity; showing his scars, kissing his first boyfriend publicly, even saying what he had said with Sonny and Bean about the truth of his dreadful time at the last Games, people thought he did it for publicity. It wasn’t the case. Levi never did anything for public gain. He didn’t ever want to draw the public eye to him, but it was drawn to him because he led a tragic life. He saw no point in arguing with those that thought that, but it was far from the truth.

A couple of sports journalists and regular news outlets had already made articles, and Levi thought there would be plenty more in the morning. He clicked on a couple, just for the sake of it, just because he was curious.

The first one he read was an Olympic special journalist that appeared every four years and only did the occasional article when there weren’t any Games that year. They were pretty neutral and they liked to celebrate success, so Levi hoped they weren’t going to be negative this time around.

It started off with a large picture of the kiss that Levi was sure was going to haunt him forever, just as much as the clip of him breaking his leg. This one was a lot nicer, though.

Then there was a general rundown of the day’s events, talking about Levi’s achievements and how he had overcome what had happened at the last Games. There was also a picture of him with his team on the podium with the Gold around his neck, but then they got onto the kiss itself.

Of course, no one had much information regarding their relationship. No one knew anything at all, really. Levi was sure details might come out over the next couple of days, maybe images and pictures of Levi attending the swimming events, maybe of them walking here and there together. Levi didn’t know but, at this moment, all they had was speculation, which intrigued him.

The section on their kiss read:

_What shocked the audience most was not the success of Levi and his team, but what happened after; Little Levi jumped up onto Powerhouse Smith, who is a swimmer from Rose, and they kissed._

_If we had been expecting any more revelations about Levi’s career and his past and anything else about his life at all, it had not been this. His homosexuality is well-known to the world and he’s never been known to hide it, why should he? But this, this is not what the world expected to see._

_It was taken to Twitter in an instant. Amongst the outpouring of love and support, there were the questions, the wondering if it was a little much._

_There is no doubt he was happy about what he had just achieved, but will someone, who is as private as Little Levi, come to regret this in the morning?_

_Nobody can say for sure, and we know virtually nothing about their history, about when they met or if this is a spontaneous thing that came about from the Dauper Games, but what we can be sure about is that they have made it very public. For Little Levi, for Powerhouse Smith, who knows if that is something they wanted until that moment. More details will hopefully be released soon._

Levi thought those details would be released whether he wanted them to or not. There was going to be a lot of footage of these Games and the last ones, Levi did not doubt that there would be images of the two together before this moment.

But he didn’t really care.

The next one he read was less neutral. Levi supposed he understood a little. Levi was, typically, very private about these things and who he was fucking. The only real time he had been public about it was when he came out so the world knew who he was and so he could be a role model for those who needed it. To have kissed Erwin and for the world to have seen it, Levi wasn’t sure what he had been thinking. But he would shrug it off in each interview that followed because he was sure it would be a topic in many of them.

The next one, again, showed a picture of them kissing, from a different angle this time.

It read:

_In a shocking and far-too-public display of intimacy, Little Levi of Souterrain jumps onto Powerhouse Smith of Rose’s body and they make out for the world to see._

_Who wanted to see that at the Games?_

_It’s one thing for sports couples to kiss at the gym. It’s another thing for two men to be kissing on internationally live television where everyone, even children, are watching._

_It’s not like the cameras would have been on anyone else, and we’re all pretty sure Levi knew that. The cameras were on him because he and his team had just secured his first Olympic Gold medal after the disaster that had occurred at the last Games, and Levi takes this opportunity to kiss this swimmer._

_Not only is it awfully opportunistic, it is shoving something in our faces that we never wanted to see._

_Little Levi has always been too public with his affairs of the heart. You might think that’s not the case, but every time he is with any man, we’re forced to see it because they’re out and about, in public. We shouldn’t have to know the details of his bedroom affairs, but he makes it a deal every time it happens._

_We don’t have a problem with the gay thing, but we don’t want to see it._

_Forcing us to see it, it taints this victory of his, and we can only be assured that we will see far too much of it in the future now they had made it public._

_I think our hopes are going from Souterrain to Shiganshina where we can hope that maybe, just maybe, Mikasa might knock him down a peg or two._

Levi scoffed and closed the article.

“What are you reading?” Erwin asked, leaning into him with his arm still around his shoulder. He had finished his cider, so hopefully they could retreat to bed soon.

“Articles,” Levi answered. He locked his phone and pocketed it, done with it for the day.

“About?”

Levi looked at him and cocked a brow. “Guess.”

“Us?”

Levi nodded.

“Out already, huh?” Erwin asked.

“Mhm,” Levi hummed.

“And how are they all reacting?”

“Twitter loves it.”

Erwin laughed. “Of course.”

“Some others don’t.”

Erwin shrugged. “Oh well.”

Levi nodded. There was nothing they could do and Levi wasn’t bothered by it. Erwin asked if he was ready to go and Levi said very much so, so they retreated to bed, Levi with nothing to do tomorrow before the Individuals and Erwin with two more Finals. They were both too tired to do anything sexual, but they did make out a bit before they collapsed, worn from the excitements of the day.

The next day, as expected, Erwin won Gold for the one-hundred metre backstroke. No one was shocked, but it did not mean they were not proud. He also broke the Olympic Record, and Erwin had so many of those to his name that Levi felt his chest swell. Then, with the rest of his team, he got another Gold with the two-hundred metre relay, and Levi clapped with the rest of the auditorium. Even if it was expected, Levi was proud of him and he wanted him to do well each time.

Erwin was going to have so many Golds when he left, his suitcase was going to weigh a tonne and, when Levi made that joke, Erwin had laughed and Levi had felt such a pride at being able to make Erwin laugh. Then they had kissed and Levi wondered what would become of them when they had to part. It wasn’t long before they would have to return to their own countries, and Levi didn’t know what might happen.

On the day of the AA, Erwin didn’t have much to do, only some Heats and Semi-Finals. He said he might be down to watch Levi as the gymnastics had twenty-four gymnasts to get through. Historia should have qualified but, considering Farlan’s score was a touch better, he had gotten through and Historia hadn’t. It was a shame, but Historia might get to be in the All-Around next time if Levi wasn’t there.

However, those were thoughts for another time. Levi had to compete, he wanted another medal if he could get it. He would settle for Silver or Bronze, but he wanted another Gold. It wouldn’t be the end of the world if he didn’t get one but, if he could, Levi would feel his goals becoming closer to completion.

He might kiss Erwin on live television again as well, who knew. Anything might happen.

His main competitor was, of course, Mikasa. She and Eren had made it through the Qualifications, though Eren was nearer the bottom. Of course, Levi wasn’t as high as he should have been because he had restrained himself from showing everything off so early but, after the Team Finals, everyone knew to expect more than just his Qualification score.

The rest of his team had come to support them as they competed with the other twenty-two gymnasts, and Levi was glad he had their support. After he had finally gotten them their Gold he had stolen away at the last Games, he felt he had righted the wrong, and he was happy to have them around again, not feeling guilt so much this time. Whilst he knew it wasn’t entirely his fault what had happened, if he had not messed up, they would have a medal, so it was difficult for him to totally leave the blame behind. Now he had gotten them what he promised, he felt truly ready to move forward.

And he did.

Of course, throughout the entire day, Mikasa and Levi were batting back and forth. She had done better on the rings, getting 15.3 where Levi had gotten 15.133, but then he had done better on the pommel horse. After that, she had done better on the vault, but Levi had bested her on the parallel bars. It was like that the entire day. Whilst the position for Bronze was moving around, Levi and Mikasa were the two battling it out for Silver and Gold.

Erwin had joined them and sat in the seats with the other gymnasts after Levi had scored 15.6 for the uneven bars. Levi had kissed him on the cheek as discreetly as he could, but he knew phones and cameras were on them. Levi wondered if they were a couple but was too distracted by Mikasa being called to the beam to notice. He sat beside Erwin and watched her, waiting for his turn on his next apparatus.

She scored 15.766 for the beam, and Levi had something to beat, some goal to surpass. She still had the high bar to go, but Levi had only the beam. If he could outscore her and if she didn’t score too highly on the horizontal bar, he could have another Gold. Sure, he would be fine with Silver, but he had tasted a Gold, and he wanted it again.

He joined his team and Erwin again before he was called over for the beam, wanting a drink and a moment to rest. Erwin asked him how he was feeling, and Levi could manage only a shrug.

“It’s close,” Levi said. “That’s nerve wracking in a way.”

“Sure,” Erwin agreed, and Levi thought Erwin would know exactly what he meant, particularly today as he had qualified for the Finals of both his swimming events before he came to see Levi. “I think you can do it.”

“It all depends on how well she does on the high bar.”

“How strong is she on it?”

“As strong as she is on everything else,” Levi said, replacing his drink and stretching his body. “But if I can do well on the balance beam, I might be able to secure it.”

“You always do well on the beam.”

“Except-.”

“Sure, except that one time,” Erwin interrupted, knowing Levi far too well. “But exceptions are just that. It is not a pattern, and you’ve proved that this year.”

“You’re so fucking annoying sometimes,” Levi said, rolling his eyes.

Erwin went to say something else, probably some quip that would almost get Levi smirking, but Levi was called to his last apparatus of the day and, so, he had to leave his side.

He thought of Mikasa’s score, he thought of his mother’s rare smile, and he thought of Erwin’s blue eyes, and he performed with everything he had. He wasn’t expecting records, he wasn’t excepting his best performance of all time, but he needed it to be good. He needed to best Mikasa’s score and he needed another Gold. He had had a taste of it, and now he wanted more whilst he could still get it.

His form was good, he barely hesitated between difficult moves, he moved seamlessly up and down the beam. He kept thinking of the best things he knew; his mother, the weight of the medal around his neck, watching Erwin swim, and he tried to show that in his performance.

Using the same routine as he had for the Team Finals, he knew every move and he knew how to perform it. He had broken his Olympic Record two days before and, whilst he wasn’t expecting that again, he knew he could do this routine to such a level that he could be faulted for only minor mistakes.

As always, there were those minor mistakes, and he did wobble a little more this time, but he knew it wouldn’t get him too many deductions. He didn’t fall off, he had no major issues, and so he knew it would be a good score.

It was pleasant being watched by Erwin, by his team, by the world. It gave him a spurt of energy and he so wanted another medal. Mikasa deserved it just as much as he did, Levi knew that, but he was craving it. With every move he performed, he was chasing it, chasing this dream of attaining all the Golds he should have received over his last two Games. There were reasons he hadn’t, and they were valid, but he wanted them, he coveted them more than anything, and he would get them if it was the last thing he did.

All he could do was try, in the end. That was all anyone could do and he knew, no matter what the result was, that he had tried his best. He just had to hope the world would reward him for that.

His dismount was pretty perfect, and all he could do was hope the judges saw what he had wanted them to see. He gave them his curt bow and retreated to Erwin’s side, comfortable with Erwin placing one arm around the back of his chair and leaning into the contact as he watched the board for his score. As ever, the moments were tense and frustrating, but there was nothing more to be done, so he could only wait.

His score was 15.933. It was not his best and he had done better, but it beat Mikasa’s score and, now, with a combined score of 108.631, all he could was wait once more. Mikasa needed 15.7 to beat him, and that was all it took. She was good at the high bar, as she was good at everything else, but maybe she wouldn’t score too well. Maybe she wouldn’t score highly. Levi couldn’t know and he wouldn’t hope for her to mess up, but he would hope she scored less than that, and that was all he could do.

When she finished, all eyes were back on the board. Even though there were still a few gymnasts left to compete, this was what it came down to as no one could reach his or Mikasa’s scores. There was still a battle for Bronze, but Silver and Gold would be decided upon with this score, and Levi could only watch, his heart in his mouth.

She scored 15.633. It was barely a margin between them, but it was still a margin. Levi had won another Gold. He could not even begin to describe how much pride and elation he felt.

Erwin leaned over and kissed him on the cheek and Levi had turned his face afterwards so they kissed fully on the lips. It wasn’t as long or as intimate as the time they had kissed after the Team Finals, but it was still enough. He was sure many cameras had caught it again, but Levi didn’t care. In fact, he even smiled properly, and that was not something the cameras often caught.

He went up and shook Mikasa’s hand again for she was, truly, a formidable opponent and Levi wished her all the luck in future competitions.

The other gymnasts finished their turns, securing Annie from Reiss in Bronze position, and then they were called to the podium. Levi loved the weight of the Gold medal around his neck, it was heavy but it had such a purpose, and it was an honour to have these gymnasts beside him, to have competed alongside them. It was an honour to compete at all.

There were some more celebrations that night, but, with the Event Finals coming over the next few days, they all had other things on their mind. Levi was full of jubilation, but with the High Bar and Parallel Bar Finals tomorrow, he needed to focus. Sure, he had gotten two Golds, but there was the chance to get more. He likely wouldn’t get Gold in all seven of the apparatus, but he might get a couple more, and that was invigorating.

As their schedules clashed, Levi couldn’t go and see Erwin perform today and Erwin couldn’t watch Levi. Levi had no doubt in his mind he would get at least one Gold. As the butterfly still wasn’t Erwin’s strongest, he might get Bronze or Silver in the individual relay, but it was still a medal.

Mikasa, like Levi, was competing in every single one of the Event Finals, and Levi wondered if they would be battling it out for Gold and Silver again and again and again. The chances were high but, as Petra and Isabel were competing for medals for the high bar and parallel bar respectively, Levi was competing against them as well as the other six gymnasts who had qualified.

The high bar was first and Levi was third to go up. He watched the others compete, taking note of their form, watching Petra as she hesitated between some of her moves. It was a shame, but Petra often did hesitate, it was just one of her natural flaws and Levi didn’t berate her for it. She had overcome it somewhat but it was still there, and it would always get her deductions.

Levi was up after Eren, and he chalked his hands so he could give it everything he had.

His score of 15.8 put him at the top. It was a good score, but not unbeatable, as none of the scores were really unless you scored high in the 16s. Mikasa was after him and, so, a high 16 was plausible as it always was with her.

However, she scored 15.666, and Levi remained in the Gold position all the way until the end.

It actually shocked him, and he hadn’t realised he had won until Mikasa came over to him to shake his hand. He had been checking the scores for the swimming and had seen Erwin win the Gold for the one-hundred metre freestyle and was about to compete for the two-hundred metre individual relay. He hadn’t been thinking, not wanting to be too on edge, and then he had another Gold around his neck. It was still as jarring as the first time, even more so, perhaps, because he had to compete again on the parallel bar a short while later.

He was last to compete for this one and he tried to pay more attention, but he was constantly checking for updates on Erwin, so his attention was split.

Just before he was called up to compete, Levi saw an update that Erwin hadn’t won Silver, but Gold. Levi thought this was wonderful because he doubted his skills in the butterfly, and so, to have this in what was probably his last Games, that would really be good for him, Levi thought.

It spurred Levi to go on further, to win another if he could. The highest score wasn’t Mikasa’s this time as she was in Silver place. The highest score was Sasha with 15.783 and, whilst beating Sasha would push Historia out of the Bronze position, he wanted it. He wanted to get as many medals as he could, he wanted to go home complete with pride. This might be his last chance at the Olympics, and he wanted to do well.

Those thoughts stayed in his mind as he swung himself around the bar, pushing himself up, keeping his form perfect. He hesitated a couple of times, but not nearly as much as he might have if he had not been spurred on by another of Erwin’s Gold medals.

The wait for his score was long and he glanced at his phone to see Erwin was about to compete in his Heat for the fifty-metre freestyle. It shortened the wait only slightly, but, when he looked up, he saw he had scored 15.825. It wasn’t much more on Sasha’s score, but it didn’t need to be much more. Historia had been pushed off the podium, but Levi had another Olympic Gold to his name and his elation, peculiar to him for he did not know it often, consumed him once more.

Taking two Gold medals to his room was amazing, and being able to put them next to his TF and AA medals was incredible. Of course, Erwin’s pile was massive on his own desk, but to see all these Gold medals that Levi owned, that Levi had won, it was the best feeling in the world.

By the time he was about to leave to see if he might catch Erwin in the Semi-Final for the fifty-metre freestyle, it was already over. Erwin was going to be in the Final, of course, but Levi would miss out on that as well as he had the pommel horse and the uneven bar tomorrow. He would miss that Final, the four-hundred metre individual relay Final, and the Heat and Semi-Finals for the one-hundred metre breaststroke. It was a shame, but there was nothing to be done about it. They were Olympic athletes and they had other things to do that would, unfortunately, take up their time together.

When Erwin returned, they congratulated each other with lots of kissing and then, after ordering food, they switched on the television so they could watch the highlights of the day. Levi was glad there was a spot for the swimming and watched, rather happily, when Erwin was on screen, swimming in all his glorious form.

He was less happy when he was shown for he noted his mistakes and willed himself to do better next time, but he knew he was just being harsh on himself. He had just won Gold with those mistakes included, so they could have been a lot worse.

They treated the other to congratulatory sex, but it did not last long for their bodies were spent and their minds were tired and they had many other things to focus on. It was still wonderful though because Levi truly felt it, and he truly felt proud of himself and proud of Erwin. Sure, the vault was on the dreaded day of his mother’s death, but Levi thought he might be able to overcome that issue. He hoped so desperately because he wanted a Gold on the balance beam, and that was on the same day as the vault. Levi needed that because he felt he deserved it, but he would have to get past the vault itself first.

However, before that came the pommel horse and the uneven bars. Farlan had qualified for the pommel and Historia had qualified for the bar, so Levi had them to compete against as well, though there was never any animosity between them for that. He kissed Erwin goodbye when they had to part, and then he found himself competing again.

He was second to compete on the pommel horse, Farlan last, and Levi scored 15.833, putting him in first place above Reiner who had competed before him. Mikasa scored 15.6 and, whilst that was a respectable score, she wouldn’t likely get a medal for the pommel horse this time. It was a shame, but, whilst Levi was on top form, he knew not everyone always could be. She still deserved to be proud of herself, and that was something Levi wished he had been able to do in the past for he had always believed he could not be proud of himself unless he did perfectly. That was not the case, and he wished he had learnt that sooner.

Levi was still in first place when Farlan was up to compete, so he definitely had a medal. Depending on how well Farlan did, for he fluctuated quite often. He could push Levi out of his first place or he could place at the bottom. Sometimes Farlan did perfectly and sometimes he really didn’t. Anything might happen.

Farlan hesitated a couple of times and, as a result, he scored 15.8. It was painfully close to Gold, but Farlan’s happy clapping came as a relief. It was pleasant to stand next to him on the podium, and Levi thought he might never get used to feeling an Olympic Gold around his neck. Although he was racking up a fair few, it was an inexplicable feeling each time.

Levi was seventh to compete for the uneven bars and he took the waiting time to check in on Erwin, who had, of course, won Gold for the fifty-metre freestyle, breaking both the Olympic and World Record. He was, currently, in the Heat and Semi-Final for the breaststroke, and Levi watched the stream of that in between checking on his competitors and their scores.

Historia scored 15.766 and had been in first place before Mikasa came over and scored 15.833. They were high scores to beat and, as Levi made his way over and chalked his hands, he wondered if his Gold streak might, very well, be broken. However, with those thoughts and with the will to keep his streak going, he pushed himself further for it. He willed himself round and round, he kept his form, and he willed himself to be the best he had ever been.

His score of 15.866 rewarded him for just that and, whilst he was thinking about the vault he would have to do tomorrow, he let himself be uncontrollably proud of himself for the moment. He had six Olympic Golds to his name, and that wasn’t a feat many people got to say about themselves.

When he got back to his room, Levi thought about racing down to catch Erwin during the final for his four-hundred metre individual relay, but it was just about to begin when he put his medals with the others, and he thought he’d miss the actual race if he ran down to see him. Instead, he changed and sat on his bed to watch it, wanting the cameras to focus purely on Erwin but knowing they likely wouldn’t as that wasn’t entirely fair.

Whilst Erwin had won Gold for the two-hundred metre relay, the four-hundred metre included more butterfly and it wasn’t Erwin’s strongest. He was predicted to get a Bronze or Silver, not a Gold. Levi didn’t always trust predictions, but he would be proud of Erwin whatever he got, for he was sure to get something. Powerhouse Smith was just that, and he would get a medal.

The butterfly first put him in fifth place and it would be quite the feat to come back from, but Levi believed in him. Backstroke got him up to third and he stayed in third for the breaststroke. Levi thought maybe he would get a Bronze, and Levi would kiss him over and over if he did. Anything at all was enough to be proud of, and Levi would congratulate him whatever he got, as he expected Erwin would likely do the same for him.

However, in an incredible feat, Erwin brought himself from third to second to, by the smallest of margins, first during the freestyle. He had crawled his way all the way to the top of the podium and they even needed a slow-motion replay to make sure Erwin had done it.

And he had. It was incredible, and Levi’s chest swelled with pride.

When Erwin returned to the room, Levi kissed him full on the mouth and felt such pleasure in Erwin picking him up so Levi could wrap his legs around his hips. Sure, Levi felt nervous about tomorrow, about the vault and what could very well happen, but, when he was with Erwin, so many of his qualms and issues and problems melted away. When they moved together, skin on skin, bodies made one, Levi thought of nothing but Erwin and his adoration for him, and it made him relax so he wasn’t panicking about tomorrow.

The next morning, a lot of the news stories were about Levi and what today was. Levi wished they wouldn’t for it did feel like being stabbed in the heart, but Erwin kissed him as softly as he knew how, and it eased his troubles for a moment.

Instead of panicking about if his mother was proud of him and instead of thinking about his scars, he thought of her smile, he thought of feeling proud and how she might feel proud as well. He also thought about being able to watch Erwin tomorrow as this was the last day of his competition. Levi would be able to watch Erwin finish his own competition tomorrow, and that was enough to spur him on.

The last day of competition hit Levi hard when he entered the gymnastics building for he truly felt what was coming, what would happen when they had to part. They had decided to move into a hotel as most athletes did so the ones still competing didn’t have to deal with too much partying from those who were finished, but Levi wondered what would happen after the Closing Ceremony. He planned to stay around for this one, but that was for Erwin, not because he really cared about the Ceremony itself. He would get to walk with him as all the athletes walked together in the Closing Ceremony to symbolise unity, but what came after? Levi didn’t know.

There was lots of talk and many cameras on him, but Levi tried not to dwell on what had happened. It had been an issue, it had gone wrong, but it didn’t have to this time. He could focus on the Golds he had won, on how far he had come. He knew his mother would be proud, and he would use that so he could perform well. He wasn’t expecting Gold this time, but a medal at all would be a wonder considering the last time he was here had been when he had broken his leg on this very apparatus.

This time, he did not look at his phone to check on Erwin, but he watched each of his competitors and watched the scoreboard constantly. Levi would be competing last, Farlan going first, and Levi watched him score 15.516. Mikasa after him scored 15.437. After Mikasa, Armin scored, 15.316. After Armin, Reiner scored 15.349. After Reiner, Ymir scored 15.316. After Ymir, Nile scored 14.691. After Nile, Connie scored 15.033. Levi did not expect to beat Farlan, maybe not even Mikasa, but he wanted to score something that might get him a Bronze.

When he was called up, Levi chalked his hands and took steadying breaths. The whole room was watching him and he could not wait for long as that would get him too many deductions, but he had to pause long enough to steady himself.

He refused even the idea he might break his leg this time. Instead, he thought of the weight of the medals around his neck, and he thought of how proud his mother would be as she watched him today. He felt her presence, he felt as if she really might be watching him, as if her eyes were on him. They were not, and he knew that, but he could dream something like that because it willed him on.

He ran, he pushed himself off the vault, he spun, and he landed. He stumbled slightly in the landing zone, but he had landed in the zone, and that was relief enough. Maybe it wasn’t perfect, but the elation in his soul that he had done it, that he had completed it even though it was the date of his mother’s death, it was more relief and more purging than he could ever know. It was like the weight of grief was lifted from him, as if Kenny’s power was completely gone. It filled him and, whilst he wouldn’t likely get Gold, he had done it, and he knew little relief like it.

His score was 15.449. He had gotten an Olympic Silver for the vault, and Levi hugged Farlan tighter than he ever had before. It might not have been a Gold, but he did not expect such a thing and, whilst it pushed him off the top of the podium where he had remained for so long, he didn’t need that. He needed this, and he had gotten this.

After the vault came the rings, and he was first up to compete. He scored 15.866. Whilst he wanted to watch Erwin’s stream and whilst he wanted to focus on his competitors’ scores, he was thinking about the balance beam. It was right there, it was his to take in just a little while. He wanted to focus, but he was caught up on the beam, on his last apparatus and the apparatus he loved most.

Isabel scored 15.8 and Mikasa scored 15.733 just after her, securing Levi another Gold. It was surreal being on the podium again, to have the weight of the medal around his neck. He was in the moment but, at the same time, he was being pulled towards the beam, his thoughts going there. As their national anthem played, his eyes were drawn to the beam, drawn to what was following, and he so wanted to do well.

He was last to compete for the beam. It would just prolong the agony, and he watched his competitors intensely as they flipped onto the beam, as they performed, as they competed.

Historia was first. She had a certain elegance to the way she performed, to the way she moved up and down the beam. Her D-Score wasn’t particularly high, but the way she performed brought up those points. She was very intriguing, the eye was drawn to her and her elegant form. There were still some things she could be taught, hesitancies where they didn’t belong, but her elegance meant she never forgot to point her toes or keep her arms in their correct position. Levi, when he retired, because he felt like that would be coming soon, would have plenty to teach her because he saw how much potential she had, and Levi was going to do great things with that.

She scored 15.866.

Next was Armin, and, whilst clearly a very capable gymnast, he hesitated more than he should have done. Between a lot of his moves, there were hesitations, too many pauses. His D-Score was high, higher than Historia’s, but Levi could see he didn’t take advantage of that like he could have done. Perhaps he just needed more practice, Levi didn’t know how long he had been a gymnast. He clearly had the skill and the capability, but maybe he just didn’t have the belief in himself.

He scored 15.2.

Next was Mikasa. She was the one to watch, of course, for Levi at least. She was such an incredible gymnast, she was going to go very far. Even if gymnasts retired early, Levi knew she would be competing for years and that she would dominate the sport once Levi had left. She and Levi were dominating it now so, once it was Mikasa alone, she would take over completely.

Her D-Score was high, her execution was fantastic. She would be the one to beat, Levi knew that. She performed like she knew exactly what she was doing, like she had perfected everything. Levi was proud to compete with her, but she could be the force that stopped him getting the Gold he so very wanted.

She scored 16.2.

Next was Zeke. Levi didn’t know much about Zeke, only that he and his team tried for the highest of D-Scores and calculated everything they needed to win. There was a lot of calculation to what they did, and Levi could see it even in Zeke’s eyes as he performed. There was something intimidating to him, something to his build that Levi didn’t care for, but he was a good gymnast. The calculation in him made him pause a little much at times, but it was a great routine and Zeke performed it with a lot of finesse.

He scored 15.8.

Next was Ymir, and she had a natural talent for it, Levi could tell. Sometimes, he could just see when people had practised until they were great and when they had a natural finesse for it. Ymir was one of the latter, and she worked her way up and down the beam with a lot of power. It didn’t feel rehearsed, it didn’t feel like calculated movements, it looked natural to Levi and that would show in her score.

She scored 15.733.

Next was Annie. Annie performed in a similar manner to Zeke. Whilst she was a great gymnast, Levi could see that she performed like it was a routine. There was an element of finesse, but Levi could tell she had spent hours and hours in the gymnasium, trying to perfect these moves, make them worth the high E-Score at the end. There was a power to her, Levi would never deny that, but he much preferred routines that looked natural, that flowed and were elegant to these rehearsed routines that looked and felt rehearsed. But she would still get a great score, Levi knew that.

She scored 15.799.

Next was Krista, and, like Historia, she performed with an elegance. She was much more petite than Annie who had come before her, but she performed with a very sweet elegance. It wasn’t perfect. Her D-Score was quite low, in comparison to the others at least, but the elegance in her movements made up for that. She still hesitated and Levi noticed a few unfinished moves, but she was good and elegant, and Levi commended anyone for getting this far in the Games.

She scored 15.4.

Then it was Levi’s turn.

He approached it with a steady mind and the thoughts of everything he loved. As he chalked up his hands, he thought of his mother’s smile, his team’s elation when they had won Gold, Erwin’s smile before they kissed. It was as if he was preparing for battle, and he wanted to come out triumphant.

He had prepared his highest D-Score to date, and he intended to make the absolute most of that. He had spent hours pouring over the difficulty scores, hours trying to place what he knew would be best in the right order, hours then perfecting those movements, those connections. When he had made even the slightest mistake, he had stopped and started again. That hadn’t been because he was pushing himself hard or because he did not care for mistakes, but because he wanted it perfect. He knew he could get there, he knew he could be perfect, and he wanted to perform it as perfectly as possible every time he practised so that it would be perfected when he showed it to the judges.

Mounting with his G-Value roundoff, back layout salto with full twist, he placed himself, without a single wobble, at the end of the beam with his back facing the rest of the length. He would perform everything like this, he would make every move perfect because it was what he deserved after all the work he had poured in, all the love as well.

His Johnson with half turn into his switch split ring leap with pointed toes was exquisite, his splits going even further than the required one-hundred-and-eighty degrees, his form elegant. He kept his body poised, his arms perfect, and he knew the world was watching.

It was the thing he loved most in this world, and he would honour that love by keeping up this perfect performance. He wanted as few deductions as humanly possible. He wanted the records broken. He never wished for things like that, he never wanted to do anything except perform his best but this time, this time he wanted to be rewarded for his efforts, for his love. He knew he deserved it and he was going to show his worth with every second of this performance.

He was combining four acrobatic elements to rack up the D-Score. It started with a layout back salto to two feet that placed him comfortably at the middle of the beam. He entered smoothly into an Onodi to two feet that moved him only slightly along and allowed him to connect into a free aerial round-off that placed him at the end of the beam and faced him towards the length. It meant he could perform to complete perfection his G-Grade layout back salto with full twist.

There was gentle applause, as there had been after every one of his moves, but Levi was focusing on the beam in front of him and on his mindset. He wanted this, he could taste it, was craving it more than he had craved anything in his entire life, and he wanted to be rewarded for everything he had done. He didn’t ask for it often, and he so wanted it now.

His next two connected dance elements were a split jump with half turn from side stand into a double turn with leg at horizontal. Again, there were no wobbles, no hesitations, his form, his poise, it was as perfect as he was ever going to get it. The judges had to see how well he was performing, they had to be witnessing Levi at his best. He couldn’t do any more than this, he couldn’t perform any better or come up with a routine that was any stronger. This was his best, and he wanted the world to know that he was at his best, that everything that had happened before was nothing and that all that mattered was his comeback and what he was doing right now.

If this was his last Olympics, then he was going out with a bang. He was going to show the world he had done everything he could, and that he was great at gymnastics. What had happened in his past, with Kenny, with his mother, with the last Games, that was nothing. It would not hinder Levi, and he would show the world that everyone who went through shit could come out on top and dominate if they wanted it.

And Levi wanted it more than he had ever wanted anything before. There was nothing he had craved like this. He was showing everything he had, and he knew the judges would have to reward him for it. It was only fair. It was what he deserved.

He next performed a full turn with free leg held backward and upward into a triple acrobatic series, starting with salto sideward tucked take-off from one leg with half turn to side stand. There was not a single wobble, not a single moment where it looked like he might fall or topple. He had this, and he would keep it in his grasp no matter what.

The next in the series was a back handspring with step-out in side position that went smoothly into another back handspring in side position but became a full twist to back hip circle. Pushing himself up with elegance was easy, and he let it all come out in one fluid motion, pushing himself up into a handstand where he let his feet come to stand on the beam so his back was facing the length of the beam in a natural movement. He loved being fluid, and the beam was the best place for him to showcase that.

He next performed a split jump with his body arched and his head dropped into a split jump with full turn. It faced him towards the length of the beam so he could perform another triple acrobatic series. This one started with a Gainer tuck back salto into a free aerial walkover forward to one foot, finishing with a front pike salto with take off from two feet, all placing him comfortably at the end of the beam.

This meant he was in the perfect position to perform his Arabian double front, his last move, a G-Grade dismount. He finished perfectly, his form poised, back straight. He had his arms raised, and there was not a single wobble. His feet landed steady, and he felt relief wash over him.

He bowed to the judges and lapped up the applause that went around the room. He had done all he could, proven everything he could prove, and it was just waiting now.

Everyone seemed pleased, smiling brightly at him as he made his way over for a drink, his body thoroughly spent. There was nothing more he could do, but there was nothing more he _wanted_ to do. Everything he had come to prove, he had just done it. He was proud of himself, of what he had come to achieve, and he knew there was nothing more he could give.

His eyes watered in an instant when he read his score of 16.433. It broke the Olympic Record, it broke the World Record, and Levi wiped fiercely at the tears that left his eyes as he stared at the score, his team coming to him and hugging him something fierce.

If he had thought he knew what pride was before, he knew it for certain now, and he would hold the feeling to his chest forever.


	14. Keeping the Stars Apart

The next day, Erwin got Golds in both his Finals, and Levi watched him, his heart soaring out of his chest. They celebrated Levi’s Golds and Erwin’s Golds with lots of drinking and socialising, though Levi did little of the former. Sure, their relationship would be falling apart soon, but, for now, it was strong and they had much to celebrate, so Levi forgot all about those problems and celebrated in earnest.

They were too exhausted to move out that night, so Levi and Erwin collapsed onto their bed, curling up into each other. Levi had done better than he had even really thought he would, and he knew he deserved his rest.

Moving their stuff into their hotel room was more hassle than Levi thought it would be, but that was mainly because Levi stopped on the way to collect more condoms. Also, that many medals was a large, collective weight and, whilst both Levi and Erwin were strong Olympians, carrying all those medals and their own things was a lot to deal with.

Their hotel room was a lot nicer than the room in the Village; it had an ensuite, which Levi adored, and their bed would actually fit them both, which was even better. The bed looked soft and Levi was so looking forward to being able to watch the Olympics and have sex with Erwin and not have to be worried about competing anymore. He had done his part, he had done Souterrain proud, he could relax now. The future might be there, but Levi would think about that later. Now was time for Erwin and celebration.

After they had moved in, Levi had collapsed onto their soft bed and switched on the television, Erwin pottering about as he put his things away. There was a news story that caught Levi’s attention and he sat up straight to turn up the volume.

There was a picture of Erwin and Levi kissing after the results of the Team Final, a picture Levi had seen far too often and from far too many angles now. The caption underneath read, “Olympian Power Couple”. Levi stared at it in disbelief. They were not even an official couple, Levi didn’t know if they ever would be, and to be labelled a “Power Couple” was a touch presumptuous.

The newsreader began talking as more images of the two of them played, of them kissing at the events, of them socialising, pictures Levi didn’t even realise were a thing.

“After the results of Little Levi’s gymnastics and Powerhouse Smith, Erwin’s swimming all came to an end yesterday, both have broken Olympic Records.” Another image of Levi smiling at Erwin showed, and Levi did not even realise he had done such a thing. Another clip of them played after that, of the two talking, clearly comfortable in each other’s presence as they spoke with their heads bowed, this having been at the Individuals.

“Erwin Smith has twenty-eight medals, twenty of them Gold over eight years, two Olympics. Not only is it a record for the amount of medals, but for that amount in such a short time. None of us are entirely sure if he’s thinking of retiring. These issues regarding his shoulder don’t seem to be improving, and this could be a last bout of excellency before he retires competitively, but we can’t know for sure. All we know is that this is an incredible feat that we can’t see being done again any time soon.”

There was another load of images that Levi did not know had been taken, and he was so entranced with them, he did not notice Erwin watching the story either. There were photographs of them on podiums and photographs of them together, some of them walking about, just photographs of everything, and Levi couldn’t really stop watching.

The ones that intrigued Levi the most were the ones where he could see the affection in his own eyes for Erwin. He had thought he was pretty good at hiding what he was feeling, at masking his emotions, but it appeared Erwin brought that out of him.

The images shown were mainly from this Dauper Games, of them walking together, chatting idly, sunglasses on. There had been a couple more from when Erwin had come to watch him at the AA’s, his eyes on Levi who was offscreen, and then watching Levi intently as he spoke about something, this one being shown as a video. It was clear there was affection there, shared between them.

There were so many pictures, but Levi supposed that made sense. They were at a televised event with fans recording everything. And, although he wasn’t sure if he would ever say it, some of the pictures were quite sweet.

The newsreader continued, “Levi Ackerman follows the same vein with a record breaking eight Gold medals for gymnastics after he broke the World and Olympic record with a 16.433 for the balance beam yesterday. Again, we cannot be sure if he’s thinking of retiring but, with a collective of fifteen medals from this year’s Olympics and the Olympics at Trost eight years ago, he’s on a very powerful streak. He’s getting a touch old for typical gymnasts, but his form is certainly not getting any worse.”

A picture of Levi and Erwin that had been taken when they were celebrating last night that Levi thought Isabel had uploaded to Instagram played then; they were holding hands and Erwin was smiling at the camera as Levi looked at something in the distance. He had known Isabel was taking the photograph, but he was never one for posing.

“However, most people aren’t shocked by their statistics, but by their relationship. They unveiled it to the world when Levi and his Souterrain team won Gold in the Team Finals six days ago. It was a shock to the world watching but what is even more shocking is that it doesn’t seem like a typical, Olympic fling. They’ve been spotted together many times and there are even pictures from the Games in Mitras four years ago where Levi was seen at one of Erwin’s competitions.” They showed a picture of just that being the case where Levi was, indeed, sat in the coach’s seat. “There’s been no official statement, but they really might be the most successful, athletic couple in the world.”

The story changed to something about the equestrian and Levi turned the volume down, finally noticing Erwin was in the room. He stared at Erwin as Erwin stared at the screen. They weren’t a couple. They were just fucking, right? Well, even Levi knew that wasn’t true, but he didn’t know what Erwin thought. They had just rented a hotel room together, and that had to mean something.

Erwin likely felt Levi watching him, and he turned to look at him, his expression unreadable, which was rare for Levi.

“A power couple, huh?” Erwin asked, and Levi still didn’t know what he thought about it.

Levi nodded, unsure what to say.

“That’s… interesting,” Erwin continued and he looked back to the screen. Levi watched him, wondering at him. Did it have to be as complex as Levi was making it?

“What do you think about that?” Levi asked.

“About what?” Erwin looked back to him, arms crossed as he leant against the wall, arms bulging and distracting Levi for a moment.

This was not Levi’s strong suite. He did not talk about his feelings, he had not been raised that way. On the rare occasion that he had told Kenny how he was feeling, which happened probably twice when he was very young, it had ended in an unpleasant fashion. And, as no one had ever really taught him how to talk about how he felt, it was no easier to do it now even when he really wanted to.

Erwin might be being patient with him, but it wasn’t enough to rectify two and a half decades of hiding the truth well within him. He wanted to tell Erwin how he felt, what he was feeling for him and had been feeling for him, but, for someone like Levi, it didn’t come easily.

Appearing to notice Levi was in a state of crisis, Erwin pulled the chair that sat underneath the table to where Levi was sitting on the edge of the bed and rested his elbows on his knees, watching Levi. Levi managed only a shrug because he could not talk about these things.

Erwin leaned forward and took one of Levi’s hands between his own. Levi allowed them to be connected because he didn’t know what else to do. He wanted to tell Erwin his feelings, but he was not good at these things. The fact the news was saying things about their relationship when they hadn’t even discussed anything about it was jarring. Levi wished he was better at these things, but it would take years to rectify his issues with being open.

“Do you mean about dating?” Erwin asked as Levi had never replied.

“Maybe,” Levi said, for even he did not understand what exactly he was asking.

“Maybe?” Erwin repeated, smiling gently.

“I don’t fucking know,” Levi said, and he wanted to collapse onto the bed, but Erwin was still holding his hand.

“Well,” Erwin began, squeezing Levi’s hand so their eyes met. “I think I might have feelings for you, if that is any consolation to anything.”

“You do?”

“I think so.”

“Maybe I do for you, as well,” Levi said, struggling to say the actual words for they were not things he said. He had never told anyone he loved them, and it had broken him up with the few boyfriends he had had before. People deserved to be told they were loved, but Levi just couldn’t tell people that.

“That is a start, then,” Erwin said.

“But I live Souterrain, Erwin,” Levi said. “Our countries are miles and miles from each other. We only have a few days left here.”

“I know,” Erwin said. “I don’t know how to rectify that problem.”

“Awesome.” Levi bit his lip before he considered his next words. He wanted this to work, which was a rarity considering he had never invested that much into a relationship before. With the boyfriends he had had, they always came second to gymnastics.

To have this, now, something he was considering trying to continue, that was new. He wanted this alongside gymnastics, not in spite of it and not with prioritising gymnastics over it. He couldn’t fathom how he was going to make it work, it didn’t seem feasible, but he wanted it to work, and that had to be a start.

“I, um, will consider this on one condition,” Levi said.

“And what condition is that?”

“When you stop swimming competitively, will you let your chest hair grow?”

Erwin seemed taken aback for a moment before he said, “I will. For you, Levi Ackerman.”

“Good.”

Erwin laughed and stood, their hands parting. Levi craned his neck up to look at Erwin, who smiled.

“I suppose we have to cross that bridge when we come to it,” Erwin mused.

“The bridge is pretty close,” Levi pointed out.

“I know,” Erwin said. “Let’s get our interviews out of the way, first.”

“You have one today?”

“Mhm,” Erwin said, walking to where his clothes were hung up, picking out his Olympian hoodie and pulling it on. He looked warm and Levi wanted to kiss him, but he decided against it so he might pretend he had some composure around Erwin. “I was originally meant to go on with someone from my own country, but they booked me on somewhere else. The production company’s called S&B, they’re not from Rose.”

“S&B,” Levi repeated slowly, coming to a conclusion he did not care for.

Erwin looked at him, brow low. “What?”

“Sonny and Bean,” Levi said.

“Ah.” Erwin seemed to realise this as well, but instead of groaning and collapsing on the bed like Levi had done, he was smiling. “That’s clever of them.”

“You mean it’s rude and awful and they’re terrible people.”

“No, I think I meant they were clever.”

Levi grabbed one of the pillows and he threw it at Erwin, who caught it and threw it back. Then Erwin came over and climbed atop Levi, grabbing his wrists and pinning them above his head. Levi might have moaned if he was not so shocked by what was happening. Erwin’s pupils were large and Levi licked his lips as he waited for Erwin to do something.

“We will just have to talk about our budding relationship then, won’t we?” Erwin said, face inches from Levi’s.

“Do we have a budding relationship?” Levi asked, quirking his brow.

“I would like to think so,” Erwin said, and he leaned down and kissed Levi once on the lips.

Levi wanted more, and he was sure Erwin had done it on purpose. However, with his hands being held by Erwin’s, there was little he could do.

What was even worse was that they couldn’t do anything because they had to make their way to their interview. It was wholly upsetting, and Levi thought it would make the interview all that more annoying because he was pent up and he wanted Erwin to take him.

Levi was slightly pissed that he was not told Erwin was going to be at the same interview, and he made sure to tell the producers when he got there. They said it just had to be a miscommunication, but Levi knew it was because they all knew Levi would not agree to such a thing. This might be big news to some people, but Levi wanted to keep it as private as possible, given he had been pretty public about it already. Going on television and doing a live interview was not keeping it private.

The studio had them sitting on the same couch, their knees touching, and Levi wanted to get up and leave. In reality, he couldn’t because he had promised them an interview, but he felt he had the right considering they had changed the terms of said interview.

He wouldn’t, though, because Erwin was committed to staying, but he expected a reward when this was over, and it would likely involve their bed.

They did an introductory session including clips and pictures, and then they were introducing Levi and Erwin, thankfully speaking Common instead of Sourrain, because Erwin did not speak Sourrain, and the rude words Levi had taught him would be highly offensive on live television.

“So, good afternoon, Levi, Erwin,” Sonny greeted, and Erwin smiled genially. Levi merely nodded. “I know we should, probably, talk about the Olympics as they have just happened and you two did fantastically well, but I think we’re more interested in…”

“The relationship,” Bean finished, clapping his hands together. “We know, honestly, we should be focusing on your triumphs, because they are incredible, but this is such an interesting turn of events. We are all aware of what goes on in the Village, but we don’t really see the actual, you know, _relationships_ in public.”

“They don’t particularly become relationships, either,” Sonny added.

Levi and Erwin both waited for the actual question.

“I think the world is interested in how it came to be,” Sonny continued when neither of them spoke. “You know, you’re a swimmer, you’re a gymnast. You’re both very…”

“Different,” Bean finished.

“Do you mean he’s almost half my height?” Erwin asked, smiling, which received laughs. Levi might have elbowed him if he wasn’t being filmed from every angle.

“Not the height thing,” Sonny said. “Though it is something.”

“You’ve been called a Power Couple,” Bean continued. “To have you both, together, it’s, I don’t know, inspiring, in a way.”

“Inspiring?” Levi asked, furrowing his brow.

“I don’t know, maybe inspiring isn’t the right word.” Bean looked to Sonny for help.

“I think, and not to be too prying, but to have you two, who are both, you know, men, together and then being public about it, that’s what’s inspiring. A successful couple like you, it’s nice to see. The Games are all about unity, and what screams unity more than an Olympic couple, right? You met at the last Games, yes?”

“We did,” Erwin answered, for he knew Levi was here to talk about gymnastics and not what they did in private. “It was cut short however, last time.”

“Because of Levi breaking his leg?” Bean asked.

“Yes,” Erwin replied, nodding.

“Sorry,” Levi said, and Erwin laughed through his nose.

“We were in the same hotel,” Erwin continued. “It is pretty easy to see where it went from there.” He smiled, Sonny and Bean laughing.

“Are you two competitive with each other?” Bean asked. “We don’t want to get into the dirty details, though I’m sure everyone wants to know, but do you try and see who will win the most, that sort of thing?”

“Erwin has what, almost double the amount of events, I think that would be unfair,” Levi said.

“But you support each other?” Sonny asked.

They both nodded.

“And, goodness, I feel like we’re on the playground asking for gossip, but I suppose that is how it feels,” Bean continued. “You live in Rose, Erwin, Levi, you live in Souterrain. What have the last four years been like? It can’t have been easy to see each other.”

“We didn’t, not often,” Erwin answered. “But maybe that will change.”

“Wedding bells in the future?” Bean asked.

Levi scoffed as Erwin laughed.

“That’s a little…” Erwin laughed again. “I don’t know about that.”

“But just think,” Sonny began, to Bean more than the two on the couch, “their kids. They would dominate the sports industry.”

Levi had trouble not rolling his eyes, but Erwin was laughing again.

“You are looking very far into a future that we are not looking into yet,” Erwin said. He was so charismatic, Levi envied him for it.

“Let’s move onto the Olympics before we get too excited,” Bean said, clapping his hands again.

“First, Levi, you got your World Record back, how are you feeling?” Sonny asked.

“Great,” Levi answered. It was cathartic, being able to talk about the Games, about what had happened last time and what was happening now, what he had just accomplished. “I really wanted to redeem myself, and I think I’ve probably done that.”

“Oh, definitely!” Sonny agreed. “Look at all your medals. You must be so proud of yourself.”

Levi nodded.

“And Powerhouse Smith, over here,” Bean said, Erwin laughing again. “You have dominated the swimming, from medals to records. We know your shoulder hasn’t been great, but are you going to continue?”

“I don’t think I’ll be going to the next Games,” Erwin answered. “Who knows, I couldn’t say for sure right now, but I’m happy with where I am. I could retire tomorrow and be thankful.”

“It’d be sad to see you go,” Sonny said. “You might not be from Souterrain, but it’s hard not to root for you. But as you say, everyone is so impressed, I think we’d miss you, but we’d be content if this was where you left.”

“What about you, Levi?” Bean asked.

“Retiring?” Levi clarified.

They nodded.

“I would love to be able to compete until my limbs fell off,” Levi said, answering honestly. “Well, maybe not compete, but I’ll be doing gymnastics until my limbs fall off. I doubt I will come to the next Games, but my team are strong and, as their coach, I want to be able to make them stronger. Without the distraction of competing, I think I could really help them achieve what they want.”

“So, last Games for you too, huh?” Bean asked.

“Maybe.”

“You could pass on the baton to Mikasa,” Sonny suggested. “Who we must talk about for a moment.”

Levi nodded.

“How do you feel about her? Almost one step behind every time, sometimes ahead,” Sonny said. “What do you think?”

“She’s incredible,” Levi answered. “I am amazed by her feats and I would happily pass on the baton or whatever to her. I think she’ll dominate the sport very soon indeed and I commend her for it.”

“No envy or dislike?” Bean asked.

Levi shook his head. “Not at all. It’s never, for me, been about being the best of the best. If and when she takes over from me, which she has done a couple of times already, I will continue to commend her for it. I’ve always wanted to… inspire people. It’s never been about being on top and, whilst it’s great being up here, being… a great gymnast, it’s always been about inspiring people. I want to show others that, if I can do it, anybody can. I haven’t always had it particularly easy, everyone goes through things, and if I can do it, everyone else can as well. And, when Mikasa takes over from me, becomes… the best or whatever, then I’m sure she’ll be inspiring as well.”

Sonny put her hand to her heart. “That is so lovely.”

“And well-said,” Bean commended.

They spoke for a little while longer, and he loved listening to Erwin talk. He was sure there would be ridiculous images and memes made out of his face as he looked at Erwin because he was sure he looked ridiculous and smitten, but maybe that was the case. He wouldn’t really be considering their future if he wasn’t as smitten as he was. And so he stared at Erwin and listened to him talk, and he was quite content when the interview was over.

Erwin rewarded him for his patience with a meal in a nice restaurant, where he was sure they were photographed, and then Erwin did much more when they got back to the privacy of their room.

They made love slowly, taking their time to pleasure each other. Erwin finally gave Levi hickeys on his neck, which Levi wanted to reprimand him for, but he didn’t care. The ones on his thighs were fading, he wanted new and fresh ones, and he supposed his neck was readily available, and the feeling was sensational.

His body called for Erwin’s, pleasured by him and his gorgeous cock. Erwin’s took Levi’s cock in his hand, stroking him up and down in time with his hips as he rocked back and forth into him. They moved with each other, and Levi called Erwin’s name more times than he could count.

When they climaxed, Levi’s body was far too satisfied to move, so it was Erwin who cleaned them up before they climbed into bed together. Levi buried his face in Erwin’s chest and fell asleep, content.

The next morning, Farlan had texted Levi about fifty times with different images of Levi looking at Erwin during their interview, and Levi promised to slap him the next time he saw him. He knew he had looked ridiculous, but he wasn’t ever going to look for proof of that. Farlan had sent him the evidence, and Levi wondered if he could cut off their ties to each other before they went home.

Levi rubbed his face on Erwin’s chest to wake them both, pushing himself up and switching on the television for a rundown of the penultimate day at the Games. They still had yet to talk about their future, and Levi thought that conversation was coming, and he still didn’t want to have it.

Erwin squeezed Levi in his arms before he stretched where he could with Levi on his chest. He kissed into Levi’s hair, and it was all very domestic, which was not something Levi was used to, but he enjoyed it with Erwin as he enjoyed most things with Erwin.

“Are we going to watch anything today?” Erwin asked, voice rough from sleep that did ridiculous things to Levi’s stomach.

“I don’t know,” Levi said, siting up and stretching, taking pride in the look Erwin gave him with all his skin on show. “There’s some rhythmic gymnastics, which is nice to watch. There’s taekwondo, or handball. How do you feel about golf?”

Levi looked back to see Erwin looking at him like he suggested they should watch grass growing. He might as well have, really.

Levi snorted and looked back to the screen; there were a hundred things they might do, a hundred things they might watch but, really, they would do anything so they could be together, whether that was watching the badminton or staying in bed and ordering room service.

As Levi enjoyed glancing at Erwin and seeing Erwin drink in the sight of his naked body, they stayed in and watched the Games from the comfort of their bed and room. They ordered room service, Erwin answering the door in his robe that Levi demanded he drop the second the door was shut. As he didn’t know what he and Erwin were going to do when the time came to leave, he would demand Erwin and his body and his attention until their last second together.

They watched taekwondo, they watched the canoe racing, they watched the rhythmic gymnastics, and, at the end of the day, they bathed together. Levi typically thought cleaning of the utmost importance, so he did not think he would like to bathe with another person, but he would always want to bathe with Erwin given the chance.

In fact, despite their short time together, Levi was sure he would want to do anything with Erwin given the chance. He was falling quite hard for him and, considering he had not fallen for someone else before, it felt almost like a thud. It was not as violent as that, but it was that overwhelming, and he didn’t quite know what to do with it. He hadn’t expected anything to come from his time at the Games, and something very real had happened, and it was sorely overwhelming.

As Erwin ran the bath, filling it with bubbles, Levi came up to him and hugged him. It was still foreign to him, this idea of enacting intimacy, but he was feeling so much right now, overwhelmed by it all, and all he wanted was Erwin to hold him close.

Erwin kissed into his hair and they remained there together until the bath was run.

Levi had thought it would be awkward and cumbersome to bathe with someone, but it was actually very pleasant. Erwin sat at one end, Levi at the other, and they soaked in the warm water, fragranced with lavender bubbles. Erwin had even brought the champagne in, and it was very romantic, not at all what Levi was used to but he adored it now it was happening.

They spoke gently, relaxed as the hot water soothed their bodies, as the steam calmed their skin. Levi would have very happily stayed there forever.

It was even nicer when they manoeuvred so they could wash each other’s hair. It was more for romance than efficiency, but Levi put up with that for the way Erwin’s hands ran through his hair, massaging his scalp and occasionally kissing into his shoulders. It was lovely, and Levi didn’t want it to end.

The last day held only the Closing Ceremony, and they still hadn’t spoken about what they were doing next. Levi didn’t want that conversation because he was sure it wouldn’t end as well as he wanted it to.

The air was heavy that night, their last full night together. Well, they had the Closing Ceremony, but that went on for a while and so this was their last full night together where things were cosy and comfortable and warm. This was the last time they slept in the same bed after doing nothing all day. Well, this was the only time they had really done that, but Levi would like it to happen more often. Considering they lived on different parts of the Earth, that didn’t seem likely.

Erwin held Levi to his chest, and Levi could hear the question in his breathing, but he wasn’t sure when he was actually going to voice it.

About half an hour after they had turned the television off, Erwin asked, “What are we going to do?”

“I don’t know,” Levi replied, knowing exactly what Erwin was asking as that was the only thing that had been running through his mind for the past few days.

As neither of them had an answer, they stayed in silence and fell asleep, dreaming of unfulfilled futures and decimated dreams.

The next morning, they were packing, mainly in silence. They shared an ordered breakfast in silence, eating without sharing a word. Their minds were filled with what came next, of what would become of them. The internet age would likely make it work, but without being able to kiss him and have him, Levi wasn’t sure how he might cope.

The first word they had shared had been at one o’clock when Erwin had asked if Levi would like some tea. It was frustrating, and Levi had only been able to nod, watching Erwin from across the room as he turned on the kettle.

Erwin was wearing a plain white shirt and jeans, and it was all too much for him. He had watched his broad shoulders and his waist, and he had watched his face as he was calm, and he had decided he might just love him. Maybe it wasn’t love yet, but Levi thought it really might get there. He wanted to see him and be with him, and he really didn’t know how he would cope if he couldn’t do just that.

They would have to do something, they would have to figure something out.

Standing, Levi went to Erwin and hugged him because he could not bear to be apart from him. They would just have to figure something out because Levi found that a world without Erwin was not one he wanted.

Erwin wrapped his arms around Levi’s body and pulled him in, the kettle boiling noisily beside them.

“I think I’ll miss you,” Levi said.

“We will have to figure something out so we don’t have to miss each other, then.”

“I don’t know how.” It was true, for their lives were a part of their countries, they competed for their countries, they had teams in their countries. There was no real way to come away from that. “How can we come apart from the way we live?”

“If I told you I had an answer, I’d be lying.”

“I would like an answer.”

“So would I.”

Levi sighed, and Erwin squeezed him tighter.

“A swimming pool is the same in Souterrain as it is in Rose,” Erwin offered.

“I couldn’t ask you to move to Souterrain,” Levi refuted, and he wouldn’t. He just wouldn’t.

“You could.”

“But I’m not going to.”

Erwin squeezed him even tighter. “I fear that may be the only solution.”

Levi sighed again, and they drank their tea, bodies touching.

When it was time to ready for the Closing Ceremony, Levi dressed and watched Erwin dress, wondering if this truly might be their last night together like this. Maybe they would meet here and there over the years, but Levi wasn’t sure if he had another Olympics in him. Erwin might, but Levi didn’t know if he could do this again. He wanted to, but he didn’t want to push his body and break it. Again. He was relatively old for a gymnast as it was, and he didn’t know when he might see Erwin again if he didn’t do another Games.

Erwin kissed him on the lips and smiled, but Levi could only chew his cheek.

“Levi,” Erwin said, holding his shoulders so they were looking directly at each other before they left. “If I have to move my life from Rose to Souterrain to be with you, it will not end the world.”

“Let’s not be dramatic,” Levi said, rolling his eyes though he only said it because he still felt like he was being stabbed in the heart.

“I mean it,” Erwin said. “Maybe we try it long distance for a while, and then figure it out.”

Levi shrugged. “I wish we had more time.”

“I know,” Erwin agreed, nodding. “I do, too.”

Erwin kissed him again and Levi leaned into it, hooking his arms around Erwin’s neck and keeping them together for just a moment. He was not often like this, and he didn’t know who he might be when he was apart from Erwin.

“Let me hold your hand,” Erwin said. “When we walk during the Ceremony. I know you don’t want to show it too much, but I would rather like that.”

Levi nodded, barely having to think about. “Only if you promise-.”

“I will let my chest hair grow, I promise,” Erwin interrupted, smiling.

Satisfied, they left.

They held hands as they marched through the Ceremony, knowing people were watching them, and talking gently with some of the other athletes. He knew Farlan took a picture and he knew Isabel was doing a live video on one of her many social media accounts, but Levi cared only for Erwin and he ignored everyone else.

When it ended, Levi and Erwin watched each other for a moment, unsure of what came next and what they were going to do. There were a thousand questions neither of them asked, and they were there only for each other.

And so they kissed against a backdrop of fireworks, their future uncertain but oncoming.


	15. Epilogue: My Heart

_Eight Years Later._

“Coach!” Mina called, standing atop the balance beam and waiting to perform her routine. Levi made note to berate Petra when he next saw her for drilling this into his new team. He much preferred just being called his name, never Coach. He tried not to scream every time he heard one of his members using the term.

Levi left Mylius where he was on the pommel horse and went over to Mina, wondering what on Earth might be the problem this time.

“What?” Levi asked, looking up to Mina as she waited on the beam.

“I can’t do the scissor leap.”

“You did it just fine yesterday?”

“Not after coming out of the pirouette!” Mina complained, holding her hands on her hips.

Levi rolled his eyes. “You did that just fine yesterday too.”

Mina scoffed. “Sometimes, you can do it, sometimes, you just can’t.”

“You’re very good at making excuses, Mina,” Levi said.

Ignoring this, she said, “Show me again.” She flashed a smile. “Pretty please.”

Levi sighed internally but gestured for her to get off the beam, Levi flipping on because it was easier and more graceful than clambering on. Even though he hadn’t competed for years, Levi wasn’t going to lose his grace. He had to lead his team by example, and he thought that involved always performing where he could.

Even though Levi was sure Mina was asking him to demonstrate because he had overheard her saying she used to watch Levi’s performance before bed from the age of five to last year, he did it anyway. Any excuse, really, to be able to perform again. He wouldn’t do it competitively because he had gotten that out of his system, but he still stayed late in practice, and he still used the apparatus when everyone else had gone home because that was just the way he was. He loved gymnastics, and he would still try to perform until his legs no longer worked.

His body no longer was what it had been and he couldn’t perform all the moves he had once been able to. It was a shame, but he had plenty of evidence he could bring up with his new, younger team of himself if he needed to show them something.

His leg, whilst having fully healed, did irk him sometimes. Sometimes it ached, paining him when he really wished it wouldn’t. He supposed that was both middle age kicking in and the strains of overworking himself and his body. It was fine. He had expected it, knew it would be coming, but it didn’t make it any less frustrating when he was having painful day.

Today was fine, it wasn’t paining him, but he hadn’t been able to show Mylius a vault move because his body just didn’t function in that way any longer. But he didn’t let it get to him. It was what it was and Levi just had to work around those issues. That was his job as a coach of a very skilled team.

He demonstrated it for Mina three times and dismounted carefully, encouraging her back on the balance beam. She was much happier than when Levi had come over, and Levi was sure she could likely perform it perfectly despite her saying she couldn’t.

“You did it perfectly well yesterday,” Levi pointed out. “Show me now.”

Mina smiled, nodded, and performed it perfectly on her first try. Levi raised his eyebrows and she smiled.

“It’s a miracle,” Mina said.

“Mhm,” Levi hummed and told her to carry on with her routine as he turned away.

He spent the rest of their session observing and demonstrating where he needed to, for he always loved demonstrating. His team respected him, he had auditioned them and trained them and given them everything, and he felt their respect. It wasn’t a place he had ever expected to be when he was seventeen and first performing with a team he barely knew, but he was here, and he wouldn’t ever change it.

When the lights were turned off, Levi left, not staying any longer for two reason; he no longer needed to because he no longer competed, and because he needed to get home. Levi walked out with his team, bidding them goodbye and that he would see them at their next session in a few days. The Olympics might have just finished, but there was always another competition to prepare for. Sure, Levi was letting them take it leisurely, but only for a few more weeks before sessions were every other day, and then every day except one. He promised to never work them as hard as he was worked, but he gave them the opportunity to work as hard as they wished and, as a coach, Levi thought that was important.

He had kept up that mentality after his final Olympics at Dauper. He had competed for a couple more years but found that he wasn’t that invested in it any longer. Mikasa deserved a chance at being the best, Levi having kept up those standards until his final competition, and then he had retired, becoming a fulltime coach.

Petra had retired after the next Games, and Farlan and Isabel retired straight after this last one. Historia was still going, but Levi thought she might not bother for much longer. Petra was coaching at another gym, Isabel and Farlan taking their time off to just enjoy the world now they could do what they wanted. They sent pictures to Levi now and again, and Levi humoured them. It was nice to see them enjoying life.

The press had left him alone over the last couple of years as he led quite a mundane life for an Olympian gymnast, so he was able to walk home without worrying he might be photographed. Well, he didn’t particularly care if he was photographed, but he didn’t want the public to know where he lived.

After the publicity of their relationship, the press had been a little obsessed with them. It documented them when they were apart from each other, it documented them when either of them had picked the other up from the airport, particularly when they had tried the long-distance thing for a year. Then it documented them obsessively when Erwin had made the move to Souterrain, Erwin having retired only a few months after the Games in Dauper because his shoulder just wasn’t getting any better.

But Levi had never given a shit about the press. When they caught the two of them kissing each other’s cheek when they greeted or when they had been at some competition to cheer on other athletes, Levi couldn’t have cared less. The press gave up with them eventually, only paying attention when the teams they now coached were doing anything, and Levi was relieved. It could be taxing when you were constantly followed around.

The house was full of the fresh smell of cooking when Levi got in, and he breathed it into his lungs. Locking the door behind him, he went through the house until he reached the kitchen, Erwin stood at the stove and stirring whatever he had concocted, his hair wet. Levi wasn’t sure how long Erwin had been home but, considering he had showered and considering Erwin’s showers took forever, it had to have been a while. Levi didn’t care either way, he was just sad he didn’t smell like chlorine anymore.

Levi put his bag on the counter and bid Erwin hello, kissing him on the cheek as he did. Erwin asked him how his day was and Levi told him as he tapped his ring on his fourth finger against the counter.

“Did you see the Olympic special yesterday?” Erwin asked as Levi set the table for them to eat.

“I did not,” Levi answered.

“It was very… interesting.”

“How so?”

“There was a section on us.”

“Of course there fucking was,” Levi said, rolling his eyes. They had been the subject of so many sports programmes for so many years, particularly after they had gotten married. Even though it had been a very small event, Isabel, Farlan, and Hanji being the social media freaks they were, a lot of images and videos had ended up online. Levi had wanted to throttle them all, but Erwin had reminded him they were friends, and you weren’t really supposed to throttle your friends.

“I thought it was very entertaining,” Erwin said, plating their meal.

“Of course you did.”

Erwin laughed and brought their plates over to their table, sitting down so they could eat. It was very domestic, and Levi had gotten used to domestic over the years. He still wasn’t perfect with it, but he was accustomed to it as a part of his life, now, because of Erwin.

“They showed that picture from our wedding,” Erwin said when they were eating. “The one with Mike and the-.”

“The fucking cake,” Levi finished, and he felt his insides freeze over. He wanted the image to go far away, he never wanted to think about it again.

“Yes,” Erwin agreed. “I really wish Hanji had burnt it.”

“I think Mike did as well.”

Erwin laughed.

They spoke and ate, drinking a glass of wine each before they settled in front of the television for the evening. Levi had always been used to routine, and having this one as such a solid and concrete part of his life was something he adored. Really, it was because he adored Erwin, and being able to do anything with him was the best thing for Levi.

Before they went to bed, Levi gave Erwin his massage because his shoulder was paining him more than usual. Over the years, it had gotten worse and worse because competitive swimming and that much exertion wasn’t really that good for your body. It was the price you had to pay for being an athlete and getting your time in the sun.

Their display cabinets of their medals and trophies won over the years was pretty full, and they wouldn’t be added to again. Well, Mike had once joked it might be added to if they had any children who started competing in sports, and Levi had previously been horrified at the thought of being a father. However, over the years, the idea of settling down with Erwin and becoming a father with him had become less daunting.

He wasn’t sure if it was going to happen over the next few years or if it was going to happen at all, but Levi didn’t hate the idea. He wasn’t ever going to push any children they might have into sport, not like everyone speculated, but he knew that idea would come up often if they did ever get around to adopting.

When they went to bed, Levi curled up into Erwin, running his hands through the hair on his chest and taking comfort in his large, muscled form holding him. Despite swimming less than he had when he had swum competitively, he still kept his form, and Levi loved him more and more each day. He still didn’t tell Erwin all that often, but he had told him enough, and Erwin never expected any more than he got. And Levi loved him even more for that.

His insomnia pained him now and again as he was that way inclined, but he had so many fewer days when he was with Erwin. When they had to travel and Erwin wasn’t by his side, he slept so much worse. Erwin was someone who comforted him, someone who calmed his rampant thoughts, and when he had to sleep without him, it usually meant a rough night.

But he had Erwin to sleep next to now, and he fell asleep easily with his head on his husband’s chest. They didn’t always fall asleep lying on the other, but they were always touching somehow. Even on hot nights, Levi being touch-starved so long, he refused to be apart from Erwin now.

As Levi fell asleep, he thoroughly thanked whoever thought to hand out condoms at the Olympics because, without them, he wouldn’t have the man he loved to hold at night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading, I hope this short epilogue rounds off the story well. I really enjoyed writing this fic, and sharing it with you all has been such a pleasure xx


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